fallenangel

The thinking, the random aimless thoughts, the deep rooted emotional feelings tied to stupid memories I can't forget. I just need to stop or slow the brain activity to half speed, just for once. *sigh* I'm not sure if this is a common problem, or if i'm just being silly.

For as long as I can remember, i've been an overanalyzer. Not even overanalyzing, but just thinking. Thinking, worrying, wondering, remembering... I can't make the thoughts stop. Even such little things as my to do lists for the day, or what I have to do this week, or trying to memorize my work schedule, or errands I need to run, emails I need to write, analyzing how I feel under EVERY circumstance that has happened, could ever happen, or under no circumstance would ever happen but I should think about it just in case it does.

I tend to cause myself unnecessary pain because I think of things that make me sick to my stomach, and I can't avoid thinking about them. Even like things with my ex, family issues.

I mean, i'm not overly stressed out much more than normal, because I know my limit, i've hit it before. It just seems I can't just chill and have a break. I'm like the duck you know, cool and calm on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath the water, that's my mind. I would give up so much if i could stop dragging myself through this. It's gotten to the point where I keep myself up and can't fall asleep, or else I just get terrible restless sleeps because of it. Some issues are huge, others are as simple as reminding myself to pack a lunch.

Does anyone else have this problem? Is there a way you've learned to control or manage it. I don't really talk to anyone about the deapth of this issue, and I'm kind of nervous bringing it up here, i just really don't want to spend the next however many years in this thicket of thoughts *shudder*. I don't want to talk to a 'professional' shrink or something because it would just be another issue to contend with.

I took light sedative meds in my final year of high school so I could finally get some sleep before bed (that is the limit I was talking about... SOOO much happened that year). I don't want to go back on pills. They weren't chemically addicting, but let's just say, I don't want to have that kind of medicine at regular access all the time :S

i dunno...gah, sorry if this is all jumbled, I'm not thinking straight even now...

PM me if you think you might be able to help more?

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

CoachAlan

(I apologize in advance for the length of this reply. To be honest, I don't even know if this addresses your problem. I hope it helps, anyway.)

I'll tell you, I haven't been sick in more than 3 1/2 years, and I owe it to a lack of stress. I consider myself a low-stress expert.

Take this week for example:

1) I overdrafted my bank account.
2) A close friend lost his job and came to me for money (which I gave him with a cash advance on a credit card).
3) College started back up.
4) I almost broke my thumb trying to fix a margarita machine that fought with me for over three hours.
5) I'm the commissioner of a fantasy football league.
6) I just got rejected by a new lady-friend I've been courting.

Yet I find myself calm right now as I write this... Almost in my "happy place." The reason is because I am learning to live in the present moment. Right now:

1) I'm being paid to type on the TFP about something that interests me.
2) I'm (hopefully) helping someone.
3) The A/C in my apartment is set just where I like it.
4) I have resolution and closure with the aforementioned lady-friend.
5) I don't have a toothache.
6) My head is freshly shaved.

Right now, the present moment, is a beautiful moment. Living in the moment takes practice, but it can be very rewarding. I find it to be a great de-stressor.

As far as calming the voices in yoru head, I'd recommend shooting for resolution. Take the case of my lady-friend, for example. I went on a lunch date with her a week ago and it did not go well. It didn't go badly, I just didn't get a vibe that she was interested. All week I've been wondering/worrying whether she was interested and what the future held.

Then I took matters in to my own hands. I called her, and she didn't answer. I didn't leave a message, but called her again the next day (Wednesday). This time I left a message, asking her to call me. She didn't call back, so I called again today. This time my message was, "Hey. So I guess it didn't work out. Oh well. I wish we'd have met two weeks later than we did, but that's the way it goes. If you feel like some great conversation, give me a call. Otherwise, have a good one."

Boom. Resolved. If she never calls again, fine. If she calls again, that's fine too. And now I don't have to worry my pretty little head about it. It's that way with any conflict I have. I try to resolve it ASAP. Not all things can be resolved right away, like right now it's bugging me that this is post number 287 and I still don't have an avatar, or access to the other boards. But there's nothing I can do about it and I'm confident complaining won't help. So I'm trying (not very successfully) to let it go.

But that's about the only thing outstanding right now that needs resolving. And that's my advice to you: Live in the present moment. Shit that's bugging you, get it resolved where possible.

__________________
"If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!"
- Mark Twain

roboshark

fallenangel, I know exactly how you feel. I have the same problem, albeit to a lesser extent, but that's probably because I've been "dealing" with it for a while now. My biggest problem was to stop worrying about things. An entire day could be ruined because I'd worry about something, usually a petty thing I did, or said, or witnessed, or needed to do, or someone said. Whatever stupid thing.

I had to get this sorted out or else face the possibility of spending my entire life fretting over stupid stuff. Step one: stop worrying about material things. They're not important. Step two: stop worrying about what people say about you, or think of you or your opinions. Simply force yourself not to care. It's hard. You gotta practice. But once you get there, it's liberating.

I realize this only addresses a small part of your problems, but it's a start. Hope it helps.

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I want no escape.

KrazyKracka

Heh... here I thought I was unique .... I found that constant random thoughts going through my mind was making me a sour person to be around as well. One of the things I found helped, and it was kind of inadvertent, was a prescription. My doctor put me on Lexapro to help elevate my mood. After taking it for a few weeks, I found I could focus more centrally on one or two things, instead of constantly running things through my head, I noticed I was more relaxed as well. I know you mentioned you don't want to be on pills, but this was what helped me out, and I wasn't expecting it. I found I could also resolve issues more easily, and actually not care about trivial things, just as roboshark mentioned. Whether you want to take medication or not is up to you, but it may be worth looking in to. Hope that helps you some

la petite moi

I thought I was the only one too! Man, I piss everyone off with my constant worrying and planning. I don't have any advice, but I can sympathise.

Dane Bramage

Fallenangel, I am very much the same way. Life it just far too hectic... need to find time to just settle the mind. I would suggest an active approach to quieting the mind. Try yoga or meditation. Find a good school in your area that teaches these techniques and make a concerted effort to commit to it. At first it will be very difficult to even do it for five minute, but after a couple of weeks, you find that you can quiet yourself rather easily. Belive me, it works.

DB.

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Kurt Vonnegut - Sirens of Titan

Rodney

Yoga and meditation help. I do some yoga weekly -- should do it more often -- and it does relax a person and calm the voices. There's also a Buddhist meditation exercise called mindfulness that I've been trying, in a small way. It's not easy to do well, but even _trying_ to do it calms you down. I'm going to look into lesson.

tiltedbc

When my mind won't stop working I go walking and just keep going around the block until I'm worn out. If it's cold and rainy, even the better.

Then I crawl into bed and things don't seem so important in the morning.

*Nikki*

I think that professionals need to reconize that worrying is actually a disease that can seriously alter someones life.

I have been doing it for years and the only thing that has ever comforted me is knowing that no matter how much I worry about something I cannot control the outcome. Worrying about something is not going to make it happen or not happen. So therefore there is no point in worrying. It is senseless.

Now if I could only follow my own advice.

Meier_Link

I notice your post is at about 4 am.... At 4 am, if I've been up for a while, I can definitely get the same way. I guess other times too.

I may be off base here, but I think what you mostly needed at the time of this post is SLEEP. I don't care how much my head is in turmoil at night, if I can get to sleep and sleep for 8 - 10 hours I'll be alright in the morning. Now on the other hand, if I only sleep for 3 or 4 hours or if I can't sleep at all or just have crazy dreams all night, I will be no better in the morning at all. Maybe take an ambien or excedrin pm or something.

Good luck to ya

anleja

I have the same problem. My mind runs in circles like a dog on a chain, and when it finds a problem it grabs it and won't let go... and the damn dog usually keeps running, sometimes even faster. It is very very frustrating. I can't even enjoy a day at the beach (literally), there is so much going on with all the people I can feel my mind going in overdrive.

There is a book called "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" about an autistic boy. A part in it describes how the boy will try to analyze all the potential possibilities his actions can take... and he thinks of it on a grander scale of people driving on the road, how each of them has an infinite possibility of paths to take, and it gets so intense it makes his head hurt. I'm not autistic, but I felt I could relate, how my train of thought doesn't go in a linear motion, but snowballs and snowballs until I wish it would slow down.

To help this, I've eliminated to a great degree stimulants in my diet. If I have coffee, or eat something very rich in sugar, that seems to make my thoughts go more intense. If you injest caffeine or lots of sugar, you should cut down.

The right kind of music calms me down sometimes. Something that won't too much demands on you mentally. Like, if I feel agitated about the state of the world, listening to something like Nine Inch Nails or the like will only agitate my mind further. I love NIN, but if I need my thoughts to work FOR me and not AGAINST me, I'll listen to music that is generally positive, like Rusted Root or oldies or something.

Reading a book is also a very good way for me to put my thoughts in order. When I am reading, my mind tends to not wander so much, being focused on the story instead.

Was it you who made the post about the roommate who won't leave? I think it was. That would annoy the hell out of me. I recently got out of my own roommate situation, and I know how aggravating it can be to deal with other people and the problems they bring into the home. My old roommate used to invite over tons of people to play poker, and it would drive me NUTS. If you can, I suggest you detach yourself emotionally from the issue and write down your options on how to solve your problem, then go ahead with taking care of the issue. Don't feel you are being mean about it, instead know that you are doing it for your own self-preservation, which is the most important thing you can do (I really hope that you are the one who posted about the visiting roomie, otherwise this will look really dumb).

I hope you are chilled out enough to read through all of this.

Oh, as the previous poster mentioned... get enough sleep!

Johnny Rotten

You may want to try some light meditation. Some nights I can't get to sleep because the mind keeps going, but I find that if I do some slow, Yoga-style breathing, I'm out pretty quickly. It's just a technique where you breathe deeply through the stomach, rather than through the lungs. As you can see, this kind of thing isn't that rare--I get that way as well. I can alleviate the feeling often by reading a book, or calling up a friend, or just people-watching at a local hangout; you might want to keep a journal, assuming you don't already. Just something to keep your thoughts from being pent-up.

If none of that works, I do recommend seeking some therapy. It doesn't mean you have a "problem"--it could mean you just have a knot in your head that you can't untie by yourself.

yellowgowild

I have the same problem. I get about 30 seconds of calm when I wake up in the morning and go pee, after that the flood gates in my head are open. I've found that skydiving helps that. Seriously. Nothing helps like getting the shit scared out of you while taking in a great view.

* You could also try some intense exercise. The natural endorphines your body releases after you shred your muscles are great for reaching a gentle calm afterwards. Also makes you look better

Anyways I wish you luck because I've been there....

xxjuicesxx

ffffffffffggggggggg hhhhhhhhhh ggggggg

alicat

Fallenangel: I have ADD and was diagnosed back in the mid '70's before it was even called ADD or had become the fad diagnosis it is now. What you're describing is exactly what a lot of people with it experience. We have overstimulated brains that never want to shut down. Supprisingly enough, it's treated with stimulants that act the opposite on someone with ADD.

It might be worth it to see a doctor and be tested to see if ADD could be the cause of your racing thoughts. I know you don't want to take medication, but wouldn't it be worth it to stop the madness if you were diagnosed? I myself don't take meds because I was on some pretty powerful anti-depressants in 2000 and they seemed to knock something right in my head and the racing thoughts symptom I had all my life went away. Of corse they also caused long-term problems but that's another story.

My sister take's ADD medication and it was the only thing that got her through 4 years of college. She struggled all through her young school years because she refused to take her pills. As an adult she realized that she needed them to think properly and be even a little organized.

Not saying you have this condition, just throwing a possible cause your way!

Ali

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"You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

clavus

Find something that causes your mind to calm. For some people, it is meditation. For others it is exercise. Think about a time when you were doing something that shut out all other thoughts..then do more of that activity.

Even though I'm not much of an artist, I draw (or build, or throw, or paint) and it calms my mind down.

Sometimes one's mind needs to be rebooted. It needs a big change in focus for few hours. It sort of flushes out all the unnecessary endless loops of worry that have accumulated in the brainpan. I used to ski in a fast and dangerous fashion. I found that risking life and limb has a way of cutting through the crap in my head. In times of no snow, a big fat bowl of pot might do the trick. Stephen King used to drop acid once per year for this very reason.

I don't know what the answer is, but I encourge you to look until you find it.

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The Phenomenon

My SO has the exact same problem. And I really do not know what to do about it somedays.

All that helps is if I hold her, and basically tell her I love her, because because of this she gets VERY depressed. Painting and playing the piano seems to help her as well.

It does not happen so regularly fortunately, maybe once every two months, but it was more often last year, to the point of once a week atleast.

She also gets very lucid dreams when she gets like this, dreams where in she is killed/scared etc. Its very hard waking her up when this happens.

I am just glad that has now been almost 3 months since the last time. Hopefully it has stopped. If not, I don't know how to make it go away, but I will support her anyway.

doodlebird

they've all been addressed in the above, but i'd have to second the suggestions of yoga - bikram - the really hot sweat 100 degree kind, exercise (i find swimming laps IMMENSELY meditative), and/or weed. not in any particular order of course, but perhaps one of those will suit you.

i'm with clavus, search until you find something that calms you. but also know that you can never turn your brain off. we are thinking creatures. but i do believe that you can get a handle on an anxiety this worry may cause you.

good luck.

breathe deeply.