The thinking, the random aimless thoughts, the deep rooted emotional feelings tied to stupid memories I can't forget. I just need to stop or slow the brain activity to half speed, just for once. *sigh* I'm not sure if this is a common problem, or if i'm just being silly.
For as long as I can remember, i've been an overanalyzer. Not even overanalyzing, but just thinking. Thinking, worrying, wondering, remembering... I can't make the thoughts stop. Even such little things as my to do lists for the day, or what I have to do this week, or trying to memorize my work schedule, or errands I need to run, emails I need to write, analyzing how I feel under EVERY circumstance that has happened, could ever happen, or under no circumstance would ever happen but I should think about it just in case it does.
I tend to cause myself unnecessary pain because I think of things that make me sick to my stomach, and I can't avoid thinking about them. Even like things with my ex, family issues.
I mean, i'm not overly stressed out much more than normal, because I know my limit, i've hit it before. It just seems I can't just chill and have a break. I'm like the duck you know, cool and calm on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath the water, that's my mind. I would give up so much if i could stop dragging myself through this. It's gotten to the point where I keep myself up and can't fall asleep, or else I just get terrible restless sleeps because of it. Some issues are huge, others are as simple as reminding myself to pack a lunch.
Does anyone else have this problem? Is there a way you've learned to control or manage it. I don't really talk to anyone about the deapth of this issue, and I'm kind of nervous bringing it up here, i just really don't want to spend the next however many years in this thicket of thoughts *shudder*. I don't want to talk to a 'professional' shrink or something because it would just be another issue to contend with.
I took light sedative meds in my final year of high school so I could finally get some sleep before bed (that is the limit I was talking about... SOOO much happened that year). I don't want to go back on pills. They weren't chemically addicting, but let's just say, I don't want to have that kind of medicine at regular access all the time :S
i dunno...gah, sorry if this is all jumbled, I'm not thinking straight even now...
PM me if you think you might be able to help more?