ironpham

A lot of shit has been starting to pile up, so I'm asking you guys for good ways to get it all out of my system.

I go to the gym every other day, but that doesn't seem to help a whole lot. I play guitar and video games where I can kill people, but again it only helps a little.

I'm ready for some new things. What do you all do?

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snowy

Yoga. It really helps to clear my head and recenter me. What's strange is that the hardest part at first is not necessarily the poses themselves, but rather when you are in a pose like savasana learning how to clear your head and learning how to focus on your breath in order to keep it clear. It's a skill that once learned is easily transferable to other situations, and that is where it becomes so effective in destressing. Plus, there are a great many poses beyond savasana that take all imaginable effort and focus to hold, and to keep to the right patterns of breath. It brings a whole new level of mindfulness to life that I can't describe unless you try it.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

inBOIL

Is getting laid an option?

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ironpham

Not meaning to sound sexist or anything like that, but is yoga really kosher for a guy (currently I'm under the impression that you are a female)? I see that there is a guy in that picture, but I feel like if I go, people would think I'm just there to look at girls and such.

And, we're going to leave the getting laid as an option out for now. I want something else to relieve my stress.

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Willravel

I hit the gym. Exercise releases endorphins and I think I might be addicted. Running, lifting weights, yoga (thanks for the recommendation, Snowy!); they all help to release physical tension and allow me to clear my mind of all the minutia that builds up during the day. I've found it's one of the more healthy things I do.

Also what inboil said.

ironpham

Don't get me wrong, I do love going to the gym, and it does help me. I feel like I just need more. I'm never completely cleared after a day at the gym. I guess I'll try yoga too. I just hope I don't come off as a pervert going there.

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Willravel

Are you religious/spiritual? Many people find great peace in their spirituality.

Spartanx9

For me, its taking a long walk, combined with a hot shower, tea, and having a few good friends that don't mind me bitching to them.

thingstodo

Yoga is great. My wife is an instructor and I mix the practice in with my workouts. The thing (or at least as it applies in this thread) about yoga is the mind/body connection. Prhaps your workouts don't currently help with the meditative part or excercise.

For example, I use an ipod when I do cardio but really don't listen to the music like I would if I was actively listening. I more play music with a certain beat and intensity that helps me get into more of a meditative place. I can nordic track or ride my spin bike at a nice pace and then notice that 30 minutes have gone by and my eyes have been closed the entire time with no concious awareness of time passing. Sometimes I think and other times I get into sort of a trance-like state.

One other thing for me is sleeping well. I read for about 15 minutes before bed and then it is a fiction novel. Something that stops all the other conversations in my brain so I only focus on the story. I'll also make time for myself. For example, I will spend several hours reading a fiction novel today and to hell with everything else in the world - I just need that time for me.

Those are some of the things that get work and other potential sources of stress out of my head (at least for me). And I do believe it is a mindset or attitude thing. Behavior follows belief and belief is all in your head!

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snowy

Hot guys do yoga. Seriously. It has more benefits than mindfulness; it will make you limber in ways you've never thought possible! My yoga classes at university were always about 50/50, and about half of the guys in the class were also athletes. So no, it's a complete myth that only women do yoga.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Willravel

Are you planning on sporting a massive erection? No? You'll be just fine.

Dead puppies... dead puppies... dead puppies....

MSD

Or just wear snug boxer briefs under the sweat pants. When I wear them, it's pretty much impossible to get it up, which avoids any embarrassing situations.

jewels

Chill time to relax you. Maybe curling up with a good book, taking a long hot bath, writing in a journal, gardening.

The gym/exercise is probably the best, but you must push your limits further each day and use intensity levels to curb your stress level.

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yellowmac

Definitely go work out and exercise. I find that it helps me by taking my mind off everything for a while and helping me re-focus when the workout is over. Add to all that exercise you should be doing anyway, it's a total win-win. Even if it's just a 30 minute low-intensity walk, it should still do the job.

World's King

Hookers, blow, and scotch.




C'mon... it's me. If I gave a real response it would be all awkward around here. "Oh my God... World's King is going soft." Well, fuck you. Suck a bag of dicks.

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sound chaser

i try to analyse the cause of the stress. If it's something big, I'll tackle it directly. If it's something small then I'd think "fuck it" and leave it be.

Ayashe

I generally take a long, hot bath or go for a walk. Do some reading, go get a haircut. I also have a bad habit of buying lingerie when I am stressed or angry. Lace frillies it is!

eribrav

This is a great answer.
Think your problems through and wherever possible break them down into small, elemental bits.
I can work up a giant sense of stress at times over things that, when really analyzed and thought through turn out not to be so bad after all.
And in the process of analyzing the problems you will likely find your way to a plan for dealing with them. That may be the most helpful of all; when you have a plan for dealing, things get a lot less scary.

fatmanforprez

Come on World's King. We can tell you are going soft, let's analyze your suggestions...

Hookers: Getting laid is not an option, so unless your hiring cuddle bitches, not hookers, this won't fly.
Blow: Have you ever met anyone who is less stressed on blow? Seriously!!!
Scotch: Well this is just a good idea right here, but only if you know how to properly enjoy scotch. Most people will never figure that part out.

My suggestion, I has 2 good driving spots nearby. One is a mountainous track that I tear down at unsafe speeds, one is a nature reserve with a 15 Mph speed limit (and I do 7Mph usually). The effect of doing either one of these, or both back to back (in either order) is a hell of a mindfuck. I like driving fast for the same reason many people like the gym, it allows you a physical act that can require you take your mind out of your stress and focus on that rep or curve. I like driving slow because I am forced to slow the world down and enjoy the area around me, I can't skip through it, the comparison between this and my stresses is somehow calming. I am probably wrong but this is the parallel I would use for yoga.

As for thinking through why your stressed, I know nothing about the OPs stresses, however I can tell you that in my life there are a lot of stresses that i don't have the option of dealing with. My job is extremely stressful, but it is the only way to go where I want to go in the long run. I have analyzed that is sucks in the present day and that it is more advantages for me to continue on this path. I just need a way to deal with the present stresses as I move into my future.

P.S. Yes I wrote all that so I could not feel bad about having to print the line about blow.

ItWasMe

I smoke. Bad example. Don't do that.

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ironpham

Thanks for the advice guys. I started biking to/from class today, and thus far that is working pretty well. I'm gonna look for one of them yoga classes today too and maybe that well relieve whatever's left.

But, thanks again. I look forward to trying some new things.

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Willravel

Also this. I can take 33 as of right now, but if I train a little harder I'm sure I can hit 40.

snowy

Good luck, ironpham. A class is an excellent way to start; once you figure out whether or not it's helpful you can go on from there. One thing to keep in mind is that there are a number of different "schools" of yoga. The one most commonly practiced is hatha yoga, but even within hatha there are different ways of teaching. It may take a couple of different classes to find a teacher and method you are comfortable with. Once you have some poses and sequences down, you can try it at home. I spent about $20 on my accessories, including a mat, a strap, and a block.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Stare At The Sun

I stopped caring.

Works for me, but not everyone can be apathetic.

ratbastid

I'm going to depart from the advice given so far on this thread. It's all good advice for how to cope with stress. I'm going to propose something radical, though, that, when I practice it, leaves me completely without stress to cope with.

The first thing to really get--I don't mean understand or comprehend, but actually internalize and operate from--is that there IS no world separate from your perception of the world. How could there be, given that you can only see the world by way of your inherently limited perceptions and interpretations? At the very least, you'd have to agree that if there IS a "real world" out there, you don't have any access to it, given your only interface with the world is by way of your perception of it, and every human being's perception is ALWAYS filtered and skewed. I mean, sure we operate like our point of view is The Truth, but a little thinking will show how inaccurate that is.

So REALLY, there's nothing out there. As far as you can or ever have or will ever be able to tell, all there is of the world is your interpretation of the world. And if that's the case, there's no such thing as stress REALLY--it's just your physical and emotional reaction to things that might or might not be happening out there in that thing you call the world.

You only need ways to "deal" with stress when the existence of stress is The Truth. But maybe it's not. Maybe stress only exists in how you interpret what you see as the world. Maybe there ARE no stressful circumstances. Maybe "shit piling up" is nothing more than an interpretation--and I'm sure it's a valid interpretation, but maybe it's not the only possible interpretation. And maybe the interpretation you choose about your circumstances has more to do with your emotional state than the circumstances themselves.

When I can stand there (which isn't all the time AT ALL--there's nothing natural or easy about creating this space), stress is impossible.

curiousbear

Talk open to close friends. Yoga can help a lot. How about pets? If any of your close friends have pets try playing with them. Sex can be good help, if possible with some one who cares, not a hang bang.

Like sound chaser I do relax and analyze my stress. And break down in to smaller action items and spread it across weeks. It really works. And my gf helps me a lot

guy44

Bury it. Deep, deep down. Don't ever talk about it with anyone, if possible. Take care of your shit, but don't ever show any outward sign that things are getting to you.

Seems to work OK for me. Sure, I started balding slowly but surely at 23 and I occasionally get pissy and into bad moods around people who have no idea why I'm acting like that. But all in all, a sound strategy.

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Poppinjay

guy44, please let me know when you take the .22 to the clock tower so I can be out of town that day.

I've never thought yoga classes would be boner inducing for guys. Have I missed out on something? Personally, my eyes are closed for most of the time. A seriously cute friend of mine teaches bikram yoga, and all I can think is, "fuck, it's hot in here".

I prefer to visit large bodies of water and meditate. Read "Jude the Obscure". After that, modern life seems like a cakewalk.

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Plaid13

The whole gym/exercise thing is good but... i dont think a gym is the best atmosphere for it. try something like jogging rollerblading bike rides something like that to get out alone in nature away from people if possible. spend some time in a forest preserve or something like that. If you have a dog take it for a walk and bark at everything that bark at with them. Seems to be pretty relaxing for dogs at least. Couldnt hurt to try.

Nisses

How about some good old fashioned yelling?

Or kick/punch something?


Seems like you already do things to get your mind OFF of it, but nothing to deal with it at the moment the stress hits.



And I never understood "hitting the gym" for that... Never worked for me.

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Moderation should be moderately moderated.

Baraka_Guru

I look at the big picture. I plan. I break the stuff I need to do down into chunks over the next several days. I then give myself small rewards for reasonable accomplishments over time.

I try to get enough sleep.

I just take a break sometimes. Go for a walk somewhere nice.

Having a nice meal works too. Especially if you eat out.

Doing something enjoyable and engaging (such as playing guitar).

And yoga. You wouldn't believe how much better I sleep while I have an ongoing yoga practice.

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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
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PlanG

Punch Bag

Chat with friends.

A gym session where you do more weight than before, and try do all of your routines (if you've done split days) on one day, also aim for more reps too. You want to have no energy left when you leave. Limp out!

Nisses

Ah, limping out of the gym is the key... I guess I lacked the dedication

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Moderation should be moderately moderated.

anti fishstick

Exercise is supposed to relieve stress but I have trouble even DOING it when I'm so stressed.

I like to write in a journal when I'm stressed. I can get all my thoughts out and just kind of release it...

I also try to meditate. I do mantras, but there are other ways to meditate, like just concentrating on breathing and trying to quiet your thoughts.

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