clavus

So... this is awkward. Nobody, not even my wife knows about this, but I'm afraid that I might be on the verge of some sort of mental breakdown. Maybe its nothing to worry about, but maybe I should be checked out. Part of the problem is, I don't know how to begin or what to expect.

The feeling comes and goes, and varies in intensity. This morning was bad - I felt like I was going to throw up and start crying. Felt utterly hopeless. Now, I'm much better, but still not 100%.

So if I were to see someone about this, how would I go about it, what should I expect and how would I keep it a secret? My wife would NOT do well if she knew how I was feeling.

For those of you who are going to ask - my drug habits are as follows:
1-2 cups of cofee per day
0-1 beer per night
a couple hits of pot every six months to eight months

I'm afraid of someone deciding that I am suicidal or dangerous to myself and locking me up. I'm afraid that someone is going to prescribe a fist full of pills, and I'm going to end up as yet another person who is in a constant state of "getting off prozac" or whatever.

Who do I see? How much does it cost? I don't think I want my insurance company involved. How do I tell a quack from a pro? This is new and hostile territory for me.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Dilbert1234567

give your general practitioner and or your insurance agency a call and ask them to recommend a counselor / therapist. make sure to ask your insurance agency if they can make sure the records don't show it was a counselor / therapist. Most work on a sliding scale, so if your insurance does not cover it, you can probably get it in your price range.

The biggest thing is to be honest with them, thats the only way to get better. you'll get through this, my dad had a bad bout with depression after his divorce, but after a few months of therapy, he's better.

eventually you will need to tell your wife, she will be the best support you'll have getting through this.

*hug*

__________________
Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

Willravel

Psychologist. There are private practices all over Northern California. Give one of them a call and just give him or her the broad strokes. They can help you or point you to someone who can help you. My buddies charge around $100 per hour, and people see them weekly. That may not fit your budget, so look around. If you're anywhere near Lodi or San Jose, I know fantastic people who I could put you in contact with. PM me if you'd like.

noodle

Definitely get a provider list from your insurance company. Whether you're going to use the benefits or not. You're better off finding someone that your insurance does cover, because at some point, they've been considered a legitimate provider. You can shop around, look at specialties, call up and ask what the provider usually deals with or considers themselves a professional in. Use another name if you like. It's usually around $150 or so per visit (in FL) without an insurance benefit for a licensed professional, more for a psychologist or psychiatrist. Sliding scale fees are occasionally available. Also try an EAP with your company or ask for a referral. By law, they're not allowed to disclose what you're asking about unless it's ordered or mandatory for your job. Getting a chance to talk about some of the things going on with someone other than your family is a healthy and normal part of life. Some people just have a degree. If you don't want meds, go see a LMHC, LCSW or someone that can't prescribe them. Licensed clinicians will help with behavior modification, talk therapy, etc, first... if meds are considered necessary, they have to refer out.

The requirements for a Baker Act (aka... getting locked up) are posing a clear and significant danger of harm to yourself or someone else. In a nutshell. I've had seven kids Baker Acted by the police. In seven years as a professional. All were either in an active suicidal state or had a clear plan for hurting themselves or someone else. A lot of people who are feeling unstable on any emotional level are fearful of being "put somewhere". A good clinician already knows this and will interpret what you say and how you act with this in mind. I've never had to call in on someone I didn't know well and know for sure whether there was a chance they were serious.

That's my two cents, and in no way should be considered the official advice of a MH provider. I just have a background and would give the same advice to my next-door neighbor or my mom. Clavus, I hope that you can find a way to ease some of the stress and the issues in a way that makes you feel comfortable. It's the most unsettling feeling to try and approach things like this.

__________________

ubertuber

Keeping your wife in the dark and keeping your insurance company in the dark seem to me to be mutually exclusive - because you're gonna have to say all that money is going somewhere.

I think you ought to reconsider talking to your wife about it. You'll be better for her if you're taking care of yourself, which will be better served by not hiding your condition from your closest family.

Realize that at some point, you're going to have to give up some control of the situation. You'll have to trust your provider's judgment about drugs, inpatient programs, etc. That's why you're going to them in the first place.

__________________
Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam

oFia

Talk to your wife. If you can't talk to your wife then someone else that you can be completely honest with and not worry about being judged (your wife should fall under that category.. but /shrug...) Talk to your insurance company. Anything relating to mental health is fucking expensive - you don't want to pay it all out of pocket.

You'll know the pros from the quacks. The quacks will give you creepy feelings or otherwise bother you. That's my experience otherwise. Regardless, do something before you do *actually* have a breakdown of *any* kind.

edit: Something to add. Based on my experiences - be glad that you are having these feelings and take them as a sign that something in your life needs to change. And trust in the people that love you to help you out - even if they don't necessarily understand.

clavus

Thanks all. I'm trying to look at this objectively. If my elbow was acting up, I'd go to the elbow doctor. Since my mind is acting up, I ought to have it checked. Unfortunately, if my lovely wife suspected I had "issues" she'd.. over-react. It is the only thing I can think of that she wouldn't put up with. Figures.

Wife gets all the medical bills. Medical insurance is from her job.

So... here I am.

Thanks for the info about the Baker Act.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Daniel_

The legal situation is different over here in the UK, but when my personal life was on the skids (first wife cheated on me) I got my GP to put me in touch with a counsellor and he put me on Fluoxitine for six months.

It really helped.

Two things you may wish to consider (each based on genuine scientific research) is that Hypericum (St John's Wort) has been shown to be almost as efective as Prozac in blind studies and that 2-3 sessions of strenuous excersize a week (such as gym sessions) has a more effective result as a mood elevator than most drugs.

Be aware, however, that if you take St Johns Wort, you MUST inform your doctor before anything is prescribed to you later, as there are sme drugs that react very badly to StJ's W.

Good luck.

EDIT:

Forgot to mention - I had no trouble coming off Prozac - I took it for six months and came off it by not bothering to get a new scrip filled. It wasn't there, so I didn't take it. I had some monir headaches for a week, but that may have been a head cold. Took paracetamol (Tylenol to you colonials) and it all got better.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

stevie667

Go see your GP and see what he says. It sounds like your trying to keep everything secret, even just talking with the Doc may take a lump off your mind.

Ask him if he can recommend a therapist or psychiatrist to help. If your find yourself someone to see, and your insurance covers it, then that is going to take a bigger lump of your wifes mind than just turning around and saying 'i need help'. Besides, she's your wife, you gonna have to open up eventually, they are psychic in case you didn't realise!

__________________
Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.