One Liners :)
 

Whats the difference between erotic and kinky?

erotic you use a feather, kinky you use the whole chicken.

throw us ya best one liners. :)

What's the difference between a light and a hard?
A man can sleep with a light on.

I was about to make another thread but figured I'd just reply to this one instead :)

Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something. (Eight something)

Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.

Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A. B-52...F-16...B-2.

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck.

I love one liners, but I can't think of any of my own right now.

Q: Definition of a 68er?
A: You blow me and I will owe you 1

Yeah, that would be useful. Wish they made something like that!

Post your favorite Q and A jokes here
 

Where do I start?

Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A: You just KNOW she'll swallow.

Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
A: Dating children.

Q. How do you find a blonde in long grass?
A. Pleasing

Q: How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?
A: The tongue's still in the envelope.

My one liners inadvertantly violated forum rules, and have been subsquently removed.

Good, Very good

If bread falls butter-side down and cats land on their feet.
If you strapped toast to a cats back, which way would it land?

(don't get mad at me for these, they're just jokes)

How are men like public toilets?
All the good ones are taken and the rest are full of shit.

What are the most common last words for a redneck?
"Hey yall, watch this!"

How do you hide money from a hippie?
Put it under a bar of soap or a job application.

How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb?
DUDE! the light burned out? damn... *pause* wait, what were we talking about?

Q: Where's the rest room?
A: Enter at your own risk.

Women...
 

Q: What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's
mouth?

A: Einstein's penis.

hope this doesn't offend anyone

Oooh that's harsh dude. Gotta remember that.

I'm sure it will offend someone... Funny joke though

You've unleashed the demons!

Ouch! I know some women that would kick your ass for a joke like that, I'd watch where you repeat it. >_<

Ouch! I'd watch my back if I were you...

One Liner
 

Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the shower? The shampoo directions said "Wash, rinse, repeat."

One liners thread!!!
 

Unleash the mouldy grandpa jokes within!!! I'll start:

Q: How did Nancy know Ronald Reagan had Alzheimer's disease??

A: When she sent him to the video store for "Scent of a Woman", he brought back "A Fish called Wanda".


------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

A: His wife died.

------------------------------------------------------

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex sex makes your hole weak.

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: Where do your cousins come from ?

A: Ant Holes.....

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: Who makes more money? A drug dealer or a prostitute?

A: The prostitute. She can clean the crack and sell it again.

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: Whats the diference between meat and fish?

A: If you beat your fish it'll die!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

A: Pick it up and give it a blow job.

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why did God put men on earth?

A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

A: They're usually intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: What is soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wakeup?

A: Vomit.

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do mice have such tiny balls?

A: Because so very few of them can dance.

-------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex?

A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.



/ and before anyone accuses me of stealing these from a web-page... I did! Mine!

My favorite was the one about anal and oral! Good set.

The acne one was sick.

But still great

short Pinocchio joke
 

You know how Pinocchio found out he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Your best one liners...
 

What is/are your best one liner(s)?

3 Irish men sitting on the floor, one fell off.

One liners... Some new most not.....
 

1. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."

2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but couldn't find any.

3. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb
as digging continues into the night.

4. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 dollars that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."

5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

7. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says, "I'll give you some cream to put on that."

11. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What! Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

13. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.
"How's that?"
"Now don't YOU start."

14. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

16. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."

17. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's
Colin.

18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

19. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places"
The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"

20. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine'. That was so nice."

Very nice, gotta love the one liners.

lol

ha ha!

The later ones i'd heard, but the early ones.... great!

Some more...........


Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.

I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.

Next time you wave, use all your fingers.

He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.

A procrastinator's work is never done.

I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.

I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

It must be my sense of humor, but #14 just killed me. A fish without eyes... that cracks me up.

It was #12 for me. It was great cause I didn't expect the reply.

I chuckled at a few, didn't get a couple, adn groaned at the rest.

Nice list none the less.

.


Also.... "What do you call bears without ears......... B.


Oh and a personal favourite: What did the fish say when it hit the concrete wall? Damn

Ok...I must be warped because #14 got to me too!!!

3. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb
as digging continues into the night.

LOL

yeah... #3 for me... thats great... someone really thinking there ;-) funny!!

#15 got me cracking up

i wonder how many of these are Mr. Wrights work..

#16 was my fav, i'll have to remember that one

Those were wonderful, but I don't get 13. I don't even pretend to understand cricket.

Here's one of mine:
I bought a car with a stained glass windshield. It belonged to a little old lady who only drove it to church on Sundays.

It has a V-8 engine. Doesn't ever need gas, but every 500 miles, I need to stop at a produce stand and juice up.

No 3 did it for me

The difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know, and I couldn't care less...

Halitosis is better than no breath at all.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so I could hear heavy breathing again.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner
Sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself....unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a
good fantasy.

Appreciate me now, and avoid the rush.

I feel much better, now that I’ve given up hope.

All I want is a warm bed and a kind word, and unlimited power.

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days
attack me at once.

We've been through so much together -- and most of it was your
fault.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and a song in my
heart. What scares me is that it was a Barry Manilow song.

Some see things that are and ask why.
Some dream of things that aren't and ask why not.
Some people don't have time for all that crap.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"

Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.

some great ones thanks all

I heard another one like this...

Q. Did you hear about the new birth-control pill for men?
A. You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

Thanks to whoever posted my old thread here. You're a doll!

When I die, I want to die in my sleep, like my grandmother. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in her car.

funny

Don't buy a dwarf with learning difficulties.

It's not big, and it's not clever.

lol

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

" I really miss my Granpa. He was so wise.... I remember him tellin' me once: Son, if you marry, marry a woman with small hands..... Yup, she has to have small hands.....

It makes yer dick look bigger.... Gee I miss him"

Laugh, yep, the Irish air crash joke is my favorite.

Q) What do you caall a deerwith no eyes?
A) No idea!

Q) What do you call a dead deer with no eye?
A) Still no idea!

How can you tell if your roommate is gay?

If his dick tastes like shit.

badaboom!
The nine o'clock show is completely different from the six o'clock show.

I met a genie who gave me one wish
I said I like my cock long enough to touch the floor
He made both my legs disappear!?

I want one tshirt for every oneliner bongobong listed... So many times I'd love to say those things to people without saying them... They can just stare at my chest like they usually do anyways...

--Jin.

Please don't hate me...
 

What did the Italian say when his cheese factory exploded?


Gouda grief-a!

*runs*

Its so silly that it made me smile!! Not for long though...

You have to run after laying a bomb like that!!


Glad

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Re: One Liner
 

That's beyond hilarious :lol:

Ok, here's something, dunno if it could be considered a one-liner. Technically it can, but it sort of can't.

Good to be a man


Reasons it's good to be a man

Movie nudity is virtually always female.

You know stuff about tanks.

Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.

You can open all your own jars.

When clicking through TV channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.

Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You can kill your own food.

The garage is all yours.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

The National College Cheer leading Championship.

If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.

You can get into a non-trivial pissing contest.

You can be President.

Flowers fix everything.

You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

The world is your urinal.

You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

You get to jump up and slap stuff.

One mood, all the time.

You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

Same work... more pay.

You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

You don't cry off others' desserts.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

The remote is yours and yours alone.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

Bachelor parties beat the shit over bridal showers.

You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

There is always a game on somewhere.

You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

You think the idea of punting a small cat is funny.

If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: 'So... notice anything different?'

Baywatch.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

All your orgasms are real.

----------------------------------------------------
Granted some of those are offensive, but most of it is just humor so take it with a grain of salt.

Can't hate a anyone who can make grumpy groan. Good (gouda?) one!

What did one palestinian woman say to the other palestinian woman?

Does this bomb make my ass look fat?

What's the difference between a duck??









whether he walks to school or carries a pail.



if you dont get it pm me :) but think really hard, it will come to you i promise.

Great jokes by Zooksport2 on the first page. Very funny stuff.

Good to be a man has me laughing my arse off

I liked " you think the idea of punting a small cat is funny"

Of course I have a sick mind (like most men)

Andy Dick came out today... he is in fact Courteney Cox's brother.

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in Central Park?
One of them was assaulted!

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?
Because he was a fish.

Re: Please don't hate me...
 

Oh my god, I Camembert it!

***************************************************

Q. What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

A. Aaaarrrr, 'tis driving me nuts.

And the definition of a 71?

That's a 69 with 2 fingers up the ass.

Did you know 78% of all women are battered?
And here I've been eating all the plain ones!
-----
Why dont you fuck a hooker in the morning?
Ever try opening a cold grilled cheese sandwhich?
-----
A guy goes into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap shorts.
The psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

ok a homosexual, a pedophile and a priest walk into a bar, but thats JUST the first guy...

What's the difference between dark and hard?
It stays dark all night.

i liked the good to be a man post

"you can be president"

thought that was really funny

Q. Why did the fish want to be a stripper?




A. Because she wanted to bare-a-cooter.

Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhoea

Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an
irritating cunt once in a while too

Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at
least 13 years old.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving.

Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty
miles an hour.

Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.

Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on
the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.

Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when
it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...

Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the
house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What Do You Call Kids Born In Whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

Ba dump tschh.

So, a baby seal walks into a club...

:)

My new motto!!

Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

I hope that life isn't just one big joke, because I don't get it.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s a scenic route...

Chicken Little was right.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

When life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own.

Stupid? I don't know the meaning of the word!

To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question... or is it?

I had to dump her before she got old enough to figure out what an asshole I am.

Current death rate: One per person.

For Sale: One parachute. Only used once. Never opened. Small stain.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

There's an exception to every rule, except this one.

You mean gullible isn't in the dictionary?

Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.

-------------------------------------------

AAAAagh... I'm spent... 'till next time.

Q. What's the difference between a fag and a fridge?
A. The fridge don't fart when you pull meat out of it.

Hope I didn't break any rules ;)

Incompatibility can be a good thing! The man has income, and the woman is pattable.

My math teacher gave me this one.

q: What do you call a smart blonde?

a: A golden retriever

about a car
 

What the difference between a corvette and a porcupine?


The pricks are in the inside.

hehe ;) *tents fingers* excellent

The punchline really should have been

"On the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside"

And by the way this has been posted except with a BMW. Please search first.

I got every single one of those jokes. That sad thing is, i heard a BUNCH of them before this thread was created... soo.. uhh.. someone's got some 'splainin' to do.

Truthful State Welcome Signs

(I apologize if a few of these are a bit esoteric...)

Welcome to Georgia--Yes, we know it's actually Florida on your mind, but hey, can't blame us for tryin'!

Welcome to Florida--Where the water's brown and the hair's blue.

Welcome to Delaware--Only 15 more miles to New Jersey!

Welcome to Alabama--Place redneck joke here.

Welcome to Arizona--Golf carts not permitted on I-10.

Welcome to Montana--We dare you to do 'reasonable and prudent' on a winding 12% mountain grade.

Welcome to West Virginia--Our family trees may not fork, but our roads sure as hell do.

Welcome to Missouri--We have ways of making you mispronounce the letter 'i.'

Welcome to Maryland--The geographical Rorshach test.

Welcome to North Carolina--Thank you for smoking.

Welcome to Kentucky--Famous for fried chicken? Well duh, the state's shaped like a drumstick!

Welcome to New Jersey--You want a friend? Go to Pennsylvania!

Welcome to Wyoming--Our census bureau is located next door to the Maytag repairman.

Welcome to Colorado--Now go back to California!

Welcome to Washington--Now go back to California!

Welcome to Hawaii--Now how the hell did you drive here?

At one point I had one for all 50 states, but they're either too lame or I like the place too much to make fun of it. More to come...

w00t. Texas isn't on there. Hmm...

Hmmm... where do I start?

Welcome to Texas--where all 5'2" women are 5'7".

Welcome to Texas--We no longer execute retards.

Welcome to Texas--Our children is learning to read.

Welcome to Texas--Former Home of George W. Bush... and Sammy Sosa.

Welcome to Texas--All of the ignorance of the South with none of the modesty!

Welcome to Texas--If you're just passing through, you better have one hell of an arm.

I had a hard time choosing just one--I figure since there are so many roads that cross into that state, we can use 'em all.

These are meant in jest and hopefully everyone takes 'em that way... I am from Florida remember!

The most terrible Jesus joke ever!
 

Q. Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?






A. It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

lol! Right on!

hah :D

:lol:Bwahahahahhahaha!:lol:

Oh that was beautiful!!!!

you know why the ladies all like jesus?




Cause he's hung like this (spread arms wide as if crusified but leavind hads turned in to show size)

Jesus walks into an inn and says to the innkeeper, "Can you put me up for the night?"

During the plague of the WWJD bracelts, I had a friend who would randomly run up and shout in a painiced voice "OK YOUR NAILED TO A CROSS..."

Thats so horrible yet so funny....lol good one!

a fine collection of absolutely dumb jokes
 

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Brilliant work, mate!

and clean! I can tell these to my kids, mostly.

some good ones in there