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-   -   13-Word Story (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-fun-zone/28911-13-word-story.html)

torgone 10-29-2003 03:43 PM

with Gordon, in a an oil drum, behind an abandoned slaughterhouse on the

Astrocloud 10-29-2003 09:41 PM

lucky cheese furnace. "We Be Zombie" the tardlike zombies moaned in unison. Bleached

Chingal0 10-30-2003 12:05 AM

hair of valley girls from all over began to rain from the skies,

jimk 10-30-2003 05:25 AM

prompting the zombies to gather for a slumber party! cheetos, pepsi and brains

torgone 10-30-2003 09:29 AM

on toast with whipped cream! The zombies looked so cute in their lacy

Astrocloud 10-30-2003 09:37 AM

rags -that Moolag (Bundy's parasitic twin sister) couldn't stop drooling. Bundy quickly gathered

Chingal0 10-30-2003 10:00 AM

as many double gulp cups from 7-11 as he could to contain the

Astrocloud 10-30-2003 08:56 PM

Drippings from a slow roasted Zombie slut. He didn't have the slut yet,

Chingal0 10-31-2003 12:25 AM

but he did find a magical trucker hat that turned his feet blue

Fremen 10-31-2003 12:38 AM

when he clicked his heels three times while plucking his sisters' nose hair,

justin218 10-31-2003 02:41 AM

and stood on one foot while chanting the phrase "I can't believe that

Astrocloud 10-31-2003 12:22 PM

I'm not Butter". The Zombies in their tattered Negliges stumbled closer. They moaned...

sailor 11-01-2003 11:54 AM

and groaned in pain, unable to believe their horrible case of the

Astrocloud 11-02-2003 12:09 AM

munchies. It was completely unreleaved by beer or even brains. Moolag wept, it

bundy 11-02-2003 04:09 PM

was fair dinkum that since woolloomooloo had been rooted by the zombies

Chingal0 11-02-2003 05:17 PM

and in their rooted stage, the zombies wondered wtf woolloomooloo was, concluding that

Fremen 11-02-2003 07:16 PM

if its from down Oz way, it's got to be cool and a

Astrocloud 11-02-2003 09:08 PM

drunk chinkinwinker. Time passed. Days became weeks and weeks -years. The forbidden dance

jimwah 11-03-2003 05:55 AM

became popular, and soon all the kids were doing it. Dancin in the

cchris 11-03-2003 07:15 AM

old Fitzroy Hotel became folklore and new lands were sought to explore with

torgone 11-03-2003 09:33 AM

riches beyond belief. But, alas, none were found. Maybe tomorrow. Dripping with sweat,

sailor 11-03-2003 04:56 PM

he decided that it was time to crack open a cold one. So he

bundy 11-03-2003 05:34 PM

removed his pants, climbed onto the bar and challenged everyone to a fight

Astrocloud 11-03-2003 06:40 PM

. Of course the him we are talking about is the ever present and

Fly 11-04-2003 08:34 PM

humble Gordon."All those sons of bitches that have forgotten my name can....

Astrocloud 11-04-2003 10:31 PM

just drink my foul testostosterone." Gordon just oozed it.

The barmen stood silent.

torgone 11-05-2003 08:53 AM

Then someone played "YMCA" on the jukebox, and everyone started singing, dancing and

Astrocloud 11-05-2003 10:18 AM

Gordon square in the anus. The ape screamed and Gordon yelped. Luckily, the

sTghezzo 11-05-2003 01:16 PM

whitecoats came and took Astrocloud away. Meanwhile, while Gordon was vigorously feeling his

bundy 11-05-2003 03:51 PM

scrotum for signs of testicular cancer. Astrocloud had convinced him that apes carry

Astrocloud 11-05-2003 05:24 PM

a vile plague that can warp the very nature of curved space-time.

bundy 11-05-2003 05:48 PM

Suddenly, the artist formerly known as Prince (TAFKAP), announced that Fremen would be his

Fremen 11-05-2003 08:57 PM

heir to his vast fortune, and promptly keeled over and kicked the bucket. :D (ha-ha)

Chingal0 11-05-2003 11:44 PM

Fortune, by definition, as TAFKAP saw it, was a massive collection of tvguides

Midlandmadman 11-06-2003 04:23 AM

. Well, Freeman always wanted to be buried with 1000's of TV guides, so................

jimk 11-06-2003 06:01 AM

he cancelled his subscription to fortune and started the tv guide crossword puzzle.

torgone 11-06-2003 08:23 AM

Fifteen years later, he has almost finished the first one. "This shit's hard!" . .

Astrocloud 11-06-2003 10:18 AM

(-he was referring to his constipation and not the crossword puzzle). Fremen's legs

bundy 11-06-2003 03:19 PM

withered away while he spent that long hard fifteen years on the crossword

torgone 11-06-2003 03:25 PM

The first clue stumped him - four letter word for woman, ends in "u - n - t".

bundy 11-06-2003 04:01 PM

Fremen then realised that all of those tvguides must be worth something, so

thenewguy 11-06-2003 09:19 PM

he packaged them up and shipped them off to his Aunt, who lived

Fremen 11-06-2003 10:05 PM

in a van, down by the river. Unfortunately for her, the van was

Astrocloud 11-06-2003 10:41 PM

also home to a slick male hustler. An ass-man who went by

Chingal0 11-06-2003 11:10 PM

Sancho. This VD infested hookerslut bathed in topical creme to rid himself of

Astrocloud 11-06-2003 11:43 PM

Bones' paw prints, some of which would remain red for days. Fearing his

bundy 11-07-2003 01:59 AM

slick reputation would be forever ruined if those scars never went away, he

Fremen 11-07-2003 02:55 AM

left the riverbank in search of 500 virgin South American rainforest monkeys, so

Astrocloud 11-07-2003 10:30 AM

tight that they could make his pencil dick bleed. But what really mattered

11-07-2003 01:20 PM

Was, they found the monkeys and saved the rainforests, but the amazing part

sailor 11-07-2003 01:27 PM

was his deft and magical handling of that large and swollen thing he called

11-07-2003 01:36 PM

the prophylactic from hell, as they lifted it over there heads, suddenly a

torgone 11-07-2003 02:54 PM

shot rang out, a baby cried, the lights went out, Gordon farted, and

bundy 11-07-2003 04:08 PM

TAFKAP suddenly rose from the dead. He squeeled like a piggy until Fremen returned

11-07-2003 04:21 PM

with a bulldozer, and two pints of southern comfort. Unfortunately everyone in the

vermin 11-07-2003 04:25 PM

immediate area preferred Jack Daniels, and were none too fond of bulldozers, either.

11-07-2003 04:56 PM

Inspired by vermin they whipped it out, an with no doubt, all of

Astrocloud 11-07-2003 08:23 PM

them were consumed in freak human wildfire. The fire was probably started by

bundy 11-07-2003 08:34 PM

MOolag, who had a particular penchant for dancing naked around burning houses. However,

Giant Hamburger 11-07-2003 08:40 PM

no one expected the arrival of the man in the leopard skin leotard.

Fremen 11-07-2003 10:27 PM

Who does, you might ask yourself? Gordon did. Too bad he was too

sTghezzo 11-07-2003 10:39 PM

hungover from the previous night to really care about anything let alone leotards.

Astrocloud 11-08-2003 12:57 AM

Because Gordon stood out from the regular leapard skin pattern... His was cheetah

empu 11-09-2003 10:18 PM

and Sancho's was Tarzan. Together, they made the Russian skating pair look like

Astrocloud 11-09-2003 10:48 PM

a pair of bickering married Indian taxicab drivers. Their harmony was unmatched by

Chingal0 11-09-2003 11:28 PM

the unsurpassed collection of velcro shoes this side of the rio grande. Alas

11-10-2003 01:28 AM

the skating taxicab driving duo accomplishes there dastardly deed. Victorious but also

bundy 11-10-2003 04:10 AM

desperately in need of a trip to the tanning salon, they both decided

paddyjoe 11-10-2003 04:52 AM

to give up their vegan diet, and munch on one of Gordon's ample

torgone 11-10-2003 07:39 AM

chicken pot pies, which he had cooked up for just such an occasion.

Astrocloud 11-10-2003 11:32 AM

Meanwhile, dick-nose was busy with his chickens. They were clucking while he

11-10-2003 12:10 PM

Sodemized the little fuckers, unwilling and most of all extremely tender, the chickens

Fremen 11-10-2003 06:54 PM

decided to peck the sick fucker to death. Meanwhile, Gordon sought out bundys'

Astrocloud 11-10-2003 06:55 PM

stained underpants which he was hiding in the septic system of the downtown

bundy 11-10-2003 11:24 PM

freak-show circus night club, which was formerly known as the Ludu$ Day Di$co

sTghezzo 11-11-2003 09:16 PM

and is now known as the biggest distributor of cheerios and chop-sticks in

Chingal0 11-11-2003 09:18 PM

the 19th hole clubhouse. He was smalltime, and got teabagged often. "Fuck You,

paddyjoe 11-12-2003 04:26 AM

he'd scream, as the dangling balls would clog his nose. "Please give me

Poyzun_Ivy 11-12-2003 05:44 AM

someone to love me for the rest of my life!" He felt so

Astrocloud 11-12-2003 05:53 AM

childish and so nubile. Nobody answered his plea so he had his testicles

bundy 11-12-2003 10:03 PM

a small collection of frozen toes. Now that his surgery had healed, he

Chingal0 11-12-2003 10:56 PM

frequently lubed himself with pudding and used his slip-n-slide as a magic carpet.

Astrocloud 11-13-2003 12:26 AM

This explained the frequent chocolate pudding baths and enemas -but it didn't explain

Fremen 11-13-2003 12:42 AM

why his pony always turned his rump away when he walked anywhere near

Fly 11-13-2003 08:40 PM

the pet sheep.which ,by the way was named lucy.Now the pony

Astrocloud 11-13-2003 11:50 PM

liked to be ridden but not in a conventional way. He rode it

Chingal0 11-14-2003 02:01 AM

bareback with a candycane stirrup. The damn horse kept eating the candycanes so,

Fremen 11-14-2003 04:54 AM

bundys' siamese-twin sister, Moolag, decided the pony needed to be taught a lesson

torgone 11-14-2003 09:07 AM

in quantum mechanics, to help him prepare for final exams. The pony, however

Chingal0 11-14-2003 11:47 PM

was Skeletor's sidekick of fury, and fought crime where there was no crime

Paeder 11-15-2003 02:11 AM

but the only crime at hand was the use of the pony itself ...

bundy 11-15-2003 05:31 AM

MoOlag, who was considering changing her name to Delta Goodrem, thought the pony

Chingal0 11-15-2003 12:43 PM

was extremely sexy, and bought it chiclets nightly. The pony however, mutated into

bundy 11-15-2003 04:52 PM

another one of Giant Hamburgers evil simion minions. It grew fangs and talons

Fremen 11-15-2003 06:17 PM

and tried to jumpstart Moolags' azz but bundy switched around suddenly and said

torgone 11-15-2003 06:39 PM

"Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo bitch!"

Astrocloud 11-15-2003 09:03 PM

-"I don't love 'em I fuck 'em, and Moolag is looking delicious.... Her

Fremen 11-15-2003 11:44 PM

brother was appalled at the thoughts that crossed his mind, but intrigued, too.

paddyjoe 11-16-2003 05:34 AM

"NO," screamed bundy, "that's just sick, besides, I could never cheat on flyman."

Fly 11-16-2003 05:41 AM

It's a good thing too....cuz flyman would be sooooooo pissed if bundy...


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