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with Gordon, in a an oil drum, behind an abandoned slaughterhouse on the
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lucky cheese furnace. "We Be Zombie" the tardlike zombies moaned in unison. Bleached
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hair of valley girls from all over began to rain from the skies,
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prompting the zombies to gather for a slumber party! cheetos, pepsi and brains
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on toast with whipped cream! The zombies looked so cute in their lacy
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rags -that Moolag (Bundy's parasitic twin sister) couldn't stop drooling. Bundy quickly gathered
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as many double gulp cups from 7-11 as he could to contain the
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Drippings from a slow roasted Zombie slut. He didn't have the slut yet,
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but he did find a magical trucker hat that turned his feet blue
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when he clicked his heels three times while plucking his sisters' nose hair,
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and stood on one foot while chanting the phrase "I can't believe that
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I'm not Butter". The Zombies in their tattered Negliges stumbled closer. They moaned...
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and groaned in pain, unable to believe their horrible case of the
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munchies. It was completely unreleaved by beer or even brains. Moolag wept, it
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was fair dinkum that since woolloomooloo had been rooted by the zombies
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and in their rooted stage, the zombies wondered wtf woolloomooloo was, concluding that
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if its from down Oz way, it's got to be cool and a
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drunk chinkinwinker. Time passed. Days became weeks and weeks -years. The forbidden dance
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became popular, and soon all the kids were doing it. Dancin in the
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old Fitzroy Hotel became folklore and new lands were sought to explore with
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riches beyond belief. But, alas, none were found. Maybe tomorrow. Dripping with sweat,
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he decided that it was time to crack open a cold one. So he
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removed his pants, climbed onto the bar and challenged everyone to a fight
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. Of course the him we are talking about is the ever present and
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humble Gordon."All those sons of bitches that have forgotten my name can....
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just drink my foul testostosterone." Gordon just oozed it.
The barmen stood silent. |
Then someone played "YMCA" on the jukebox, and everyone started singing, dancing and
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Gordon square in the anus. The ape screamed and Gordon yelped. Luckily, the
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whitecoats came and took Astrocloud away. Meanwhile, while Gordon was vigorously feeling his
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scrotum for signs of testicular cancer. Astrocloud had convinced him that apes carry
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a vile plague that can warp the very nature of curved space-time.
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Suddenly, the artist formerly known as Prince (TAFKAP), announced that Fremen would be his
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heir to his vast fortune, and promptly keeled over and kicked the bucket. :D (ha-ha)
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Fortune, by definition, as TAFKAP saw it, was a massive collection of tvguides
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. Well, Freeman always wanted to be buried with 1000's of TV guides, so................
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he cancelled his subscription to fortune and started the tv guide crossword puzzle.
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Fifteen years later, he has almost finished the first one. "This shit's hard!" . .
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(-he was referring to his constipation and not the crossword puzzle). Fremen's legs
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withered away while he spent that long hard fifteen years on the crossword
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The first clue stumped him - four letter word for woman, ends in "u - n - t".
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Fremen then realised that all of those tvguides must be worth something, so
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he packaged them up and shipped them off to his Aunt, who lived
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in a van, down by the river. Unfortunately for her, the van was
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also home to a slick male hustler. An ass-man who went by
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Sancho. This VD infested hookerslut bathed in topical creme to rid himself of
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Bones' paw prints, some of which would remain red for days. Fearing his
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slick reputation would be forever ruined if those scars never went away, he
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left the riverbank in search of 500 virgin South American rainforest monkeys, so
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tight that they could make his pencil dick bleed. But what really mattered
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Was, they found the monkeys and saved the rainforests, but the amazing part
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was his deft and magical handling of that large and swollen thing he called
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the prophylactic from hell, as they lifted it over there heads, suddenly a
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shot rang out, a baby cried, the lights went out, Gordon farted, and
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TAFKAP suddenly rose from the dead. He squeeled like a piggy until Fremen returned
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with a bulldozer, and two pints of southern comfort. Unfortunately everyone in the
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immediate area preferred Jack Daniels, and were none too fond of bulldozers, either.
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Inspired by vermin they whipped it out, an with no doubt, all of
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them were consumed in freak human wildfire. The fire was probably started by
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MOolag, who had a particular penchant for dancing naked around burning houses. However,
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no one expected the arrival of the man in the leopard skin leotard.
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Who does, you might ask yourself? Gordon did. Too bad he was too
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hungover from the previous night to really care about anything let alone leotards.
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Because Gordon stood out from the regular leapard skin pattern... His was cheetah
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and Sancho's was Tarzan. Together, they made the Russian skating pair look like
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a pair of bickering married Indian taxicab drivers. Their harmony was unmatched by
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the unsurpassed collection of velcro shoes this side of the rio grande. Alas
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the skating taxicab driving duo accomplishes there dastardly deed. Victorious but also
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desperately in need of a trip to the tanning salon, they both decided
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to give up their vegan diet, and munch on one of Gordon's ample
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chicken pot pies, which he had cooked up for just such an occasion.
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Meanwhile, dick-nose was busy with his chickens. They were clucking while he
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Sodemized the little fuckers, unwilling and most of all extremely tender, the chickens
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decided to peck the sick fucker to death. Meanwhile, Gordon sought out bundys'
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stained underpants which he was hiding in the septic system of the downtown
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freak-show circus night club, which was formerly known as the Ludu$ Day Di$co
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and is now known as the biggest distributor of cheerios and chop-sticks in
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the 19th hole clubhouse. He was smalltime, and got teabagged often. "Fuck You,
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he'd scream, as the dangling balls would clog his nose. "Please give me
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someone to love me for the rest of my life!" He felt so
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childish and so nubile. Nobody answered his plea so he had his testicles
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a small collection of frozen toes. Now that his surgery had healed, he
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frequently lubed himself with pudding and used his slip-n-slide as a magic carpet.
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This explained the frequent chocolate pudding baths and enemas -but it didn't explain
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why his pony always turned his rump away when he walked anywhere near
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the pet sheep.which ,by the way was named lucy.Now the pony
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liked to be ridden but not in a conventional way. He rode it
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bareback with a candycane stirrup. The damn horse kept eating the candycanes so,
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bundys' siamese-twin sister, Moolag, decided the pony needed to be taught a lesson
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in quantum mechanics, to help him prepare for final exams. The pony, however
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was Skeletor's sidekick of fury, and fought crime where there was no crime
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but the only crime at hand was the use of the pony itself ...
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MoOlag, who was considering changing her name to Delta Goodrem, thought the pony
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was extremely sexy, and bought it chiclets nightly. The pony however, mutated into
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another one of Giant Hamburgers evil simion minions. It grew fangs and talons
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and tried to jumpstart Moolags' azz but bundy switched around suddenly and said
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"Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo bitch!"
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-"I don't love 'em I fuck 'em, and Moolag is looking delicious.... Her
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brother was appalled at the thoughts that crossed his mind, but intrigued, too.
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"NO," screamed bundy, "that's just sick, besides, I could never cheat on flyman."
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It's a good thing too....cuz flyman would be sooooooo pissed if bundy...
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