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with Gordon, in a an oil drum, behind an abandoned slaughterhouse on the
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lucky cheese furnace. "We Be Zombie" the tardlike zombies moaned in unison. Bleached
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hair of valley girls from all over began to rain from the skies,
|
prompting the zombies to gather for a slumber party! cheetos, pepsi and brains
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on toast with whipped cream! The zombies looked so cute in their lacy
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rags -that Moolag (Bundy's parasitic twin sister) couldn't stop drooling. Bundy quickly gathered
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as many double gulp cups from 7-11 as he could to contain the
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Drippings from a slow roasted Zombie slut. He didn't have the slut yet,
|
but he did find a magical trucker hat that turned his feet blue
|
when he clicked his heels three times while plucking his sisters' nose hair,
|
and stood on one foot while chanting the phrase "I can't believe that
|
I'm not Butter". The Zombies in their tattered Negliges stumbled closer. They moaned...
|
and groaned in pain, unable to believe their horrible case of the
|
munchies. It was completely unreleaved by beer or even brains. Moolag wept, it
|
was fair dinkum that since woolloomooloo had been rooted by the zombies
|
and in their rooted stage, the zombies wondered wtf woolloomooloo was, concluding that
|
if its from down Oz way, it's got to be cool and a
|
drunk chinkinwinker. Time passed. Days became weeks and weeks -years. The forbidden dance
|
became popular, and soon all the kids were doing it. Dancin in the
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old Fitzroy Hotel became folklore and new lands were sought to explore with
|
riches beyond belief. But, alas, none were found. Maybe tomorrow. Dripping with sweat,
|
he decided that it was time to crack open a cold one. So he
|
removed his pants, climbed onto the bar and challenged everyone to a fight
|
. Of course the him we are talking about is the ever present and
|
humble Gordon."All those sons of bitches that have forgotten my name can....
|
just drink my foul testostosterone." Gordon just oozed it.
The barmen stood silent. |
Then someone played "YMCA" on the jukebox, and everyone started singing, dancing and
|
Gordon square in the anus. The ape screamed and Gordon yelped. Luckily, the
|
whitecoats came and took Astrocloud away. Meanwhile, while Gordon was vigorously feeling his
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scrotum for signs of testicular cancer. Astrocloud had convinced him that apes carry
|
a vile plague that can warp the very nature of curved space-time.
|
Suddenly, the artist formerly known as Prince (TAFKAP), announced that Fremen would be his
|
heir to his vast fortune, and promptly keeled over and kicked the bucket. :D (ha-ha)
|
Fortune, by definition, as TAFKAP saw it, was a massive collection of tvguides
|
. Well, Freeman always wanted to be buried with 1000's of TV guides, so................
|
he cancelled his subscription to fortune and started the tv guide crossword puzzle.
|
Fifteen years later, he has almost finished the first one. "This shit's hard!" . .
|
(-he was referring to his constipation and not the crossword puzzle). Fremen's legs
|
withered away while he spent that long hard fifteen years on the crossword
|
The first clue stumped him - four letter word for woman, ends in "u - n - t".
|
Fremen then realised that all of those tvguides must be worth something, so
|
he packaged them up and shipped them off to his Aunt, who lived
|
in a van, down by the river. Unfortunately for her, the van was
|
also home to a slick male hustler. An ass-man who went by
|
Sancho. This VD infested hookerslut bathed in topical creme to rid himself of
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Bones' paw prints, some of which would remain red for days. Fearing his
|
slick reputation would be forever ruined if those scars never went away, he
|
left the riverbank in search of 500 virgin South American rainforest monkeys, so
|
tight that they could make his pencil dick bleed. But what really mattered
|
Was, they found the monkeys and saved the rainforests, but the amazing part
|
was his deft and magical handling of that large and swollen thing he called
|
the prophylactic from hell, as they lifted it over there heads, suddenly a
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shot rang out, a baby cried, the lights went out, Gordon farted, and
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TAFKAP suddenly rose from the dead. He squeeled like a piggy until Fremen returned
|
with a bulldozer, and two pints of southern comfort. Unfortunately everyone in the
|
immediate area preferred Jack Daniels, and were none too fond of bulldozers, either.
|
Inspired by vermin they whipped it out, an with no doubt, all of
|
them were consumed in freak human wildfire. The fire was probably started by
|
MOolag, who had a particular penchant for dancing naked around burning houses. However,
|
no one expected the arrival of the man in the leopard skin leotard.
|
Who does, you might ask yourself? Gordon did. Too bad he was too
|
hungover from the previous night to really care about anything let alone leotards.
|
Because Gordon stood out from the regular leapard skin pattern... His was cheetah
|
and Sancho's was Tarzan. Together, they made the Russian skating pair look like
|
a pair of bickering married Indian taxicab drivers. Their harmony was unmatched by
|
the unsurpassed collection of velcro shoes this side of the rio grande. Alas
|
the skating taxicab driving duo accomplishes there dastardly deed. Victorious but also
|
desperately in need of a trip to the tanning salon, they both decided
|
to give up their vegan diet, and munch on one of Gordon's ample
|
chicken pot pies, which he had cooked up for just such an occasion.
|
Meanwhile, dick-nose was busy with his chickens. They were clucking while he
|
Sodemized the little fuckers, unwilling and most of all extremely tender, the chickens
|
decided to peck the sick fucker to death. Meanwhile, Gordon sought out bundys'
|
stained underpants which he was hiding in the septic system of the downtown
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freak-show circus night club, which was formerly known as the Ludu$ Day Di$co
|
and is now known as the biggest distributor of cheerios and chop-sticks in
|
the 19th hole clubhouse. He was smalltime, and got teabagged often. "Fuck You,
|
he'd scream, as the dangling balls would clog his nose. "Please give me
|
someone to love me for the rest of my life!" He felt so
|
childish and so nubile. Nobody answered his plea so he had his testicles
|
a small collection of frozen toes. Now that his surgery had healed, he
|
frequently lubed himself with pudding and used his slip-n-slide as a magic carpet.
|
This explained the frequent chocolate pudding baths and enemas -but it didn't explain
|
why his pony always turned his rump away when he walked anywhere near
|
the pet sheep.which ,by the way was named lucy.Now the pony
|
liked to be ridden but not in a conventional way. He rode it
|
bareback with a candycane stirrup. The damn horse kept eating the candycanes so,
|
bundys' siamese-twin sister, Moolag, decided the pony needed to be taught a lesson
|
in quantum mechanics, to help him prepare for final exams. The pony, however
|
was Skeletor's sidekick of fury, and fought crime where there was no crime
|
but the only crime at hand was the use of the pony itself ...
|
MoOlag, who was considering changing her name to Delta Goodrem, thought the pony
|
was extremely sexy, and bought it chiclets nightly. The pony however, mutated into
|
another one of Giant Hamburgers evil simion minions. It grew fangs and talons
|
and tried to jumpstart Moolags' azz but bundy switched around suddenly and said
|
"Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo bitch!"
|
-"I don't love 'em I fuck 'em, and Moolag is looking delicious.... Her
|
brother was appalled at the thoughts that crossed his mind, but intrigued, too.
|
"NO," screamed bundy, "that's just sick, besides, I could never cheat on flyman."
|
It's a good thing too....cuz flyman would be sooooooo pissed if bundy...
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