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-   -   13-Word Story (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-fun-zone/28911-13-word-story.html)

paddyjoe 10-22-2003 03:16 AM

the speakers in flyman's `56 Chevy. "Damn, I got a trunk full of greasy

Midlandmadman 10-22-2003 04:05 AM

french fries, that are sure to give me heartburn!". Well, the aliens hated......................

Fly 10-22-2003 05:04 AM

the greasy fries,but absolutley loved nancy on the boom box,and asked.......

Midlandmadman 10-22-2003 05:44 AM

flyman to "CRANK IT!!!!!" . Being the bastard that he is, flyman refused. "FUCK..........

Fly 10-22-2003 06:18 AM

...YOU."............"Get your own freakin' stereo.""quit fuckin' buggin' me,and go back.....

Midlandmadman 10-22-2003 10:08 AM

to your pig /boot cookout, ya alien FUCKS!!!!!". Then he farted at them.

torgone 10-22-2003 10:27 AM

He would soon discover that that was the wrong thing to do, because

Astrocloud 10-22-2003 10:49 AM

the aliens had horned-out lesbians in their spaceship, and they weren't sharing.

paddyjoe 10-22-2003 12:10 PM

"Wait, I know" the fly thought, "I'll pull that double dildo away from

Fly 10-22-2003 12:45 PM

bundy.......even though it will piss him right off.......and use it as....

jimk 10-22-2003 01:00 PM

bait to lure the oversexed sapphic beauties away from the aliens!" his plan

Astrocloud 10-22-2003 02:43 PM

didn't accommodate for the actual size of the twin-headed monster which was actually

Fremen 10-22-2003 06:08 PM

bundy and his siamese-twin sister, Moolag, who, after being sexually aroused by the

Chingal0 10-22-2003 07:03 PM

Monkey of Gibraltar, destroyed every living gnat on the face of the earth.

bundy 10-22-2003 07:26 PM

Moolag, bundy´s siamese sister, once topped the country music charts with a moving

Chingal0 10-22-2003 07:29 PM

ballad titled 'My other head eats shit'. Teenie-boppers everywhere ate the single up

ghezzo 10-22-2003 07:37 PM

with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. bundy retaliated with an arsenal...

Chingal0 10-22-2003 07:44 PM

of shit-slinging penguins. The teenie-boppers had no chance. The penguins annihilated

ghezzo 10-22-2003 07:56 PM

...the Bubonic plague back in the 1300s. originally spread by the horned-out lesbians, but..

Chingal0 10-22-2003 09:49 PM

the lesbians returned, spreading a horrid virus named Smilax officinalis. This virus ate

Fremen 10-23-2003 12:37 AM

Chicago, since it was just sitting there, supporting Bones and his lazy-assed chimp

paddyjoe 10-23-2003 04:11 AM

Bubbles. "Oh man!" cried bundy, "I could have saved Chicago if only I

Fly 10-23-2003 05:29 AM

really gave a shit about the place." The virus moved to a town.....

Midlandmadman 10-23-2003 05:37 AM

that had a low crime rate and lots of parks for the children.

bundy 10-23-2003 05:41 AM

The virus took one look at all the Volvos parked on the streets

torgone 10-23-2003 08:02 AM

and started stealing all the hubcaps. "You can never have too many of

petergriffin24 10-23-2003 09:33 AM

these pretty shiny ones." It turned and looked back towards the thing it

Astrocloud 10-23-2003 10:12 AM

left in the place of the stolen hubcaps. It was a really big

Chingal0 10-23-2003 06:47 PM

strap-on dildo, flying at hypersonic speeds thru the clouds, leaving contrails of dildos

Fremen 10-23-2003 06:59 PM

that, if you looked closely, spelled out, "Bones got the monkey, monkey blues!".

Astrocloud 10-23-2003 07:52 PM

Regular dildos don't fly like that. This one was special, it had personality

bundy 10-23-2003 10:05 PM

and felt the real pain of rejection from its last owner, Astrocloud. This special

Astrocloud 10-23-2003 10:08 PM

Dildo also cursed like a motherfucker. "Bundy get me a fuckin' Beer, you

Chingal0 10-23-2003 10:29 PM

cock slut whore fuck bitch marsupial-tits wannabee michael j. fox bastard cookiecutter winner

bundy 10-23-2003 10:37 PM

, who we all love!¨ screamed Munku from his solarium, where he spent most

paddyjoe 10-24-2003 03:48 AM

of his man-seed against the frosted glass, while cackling, "WE ARE FAMILY",

petergriffin24 10-24-2003 04:24 AM

which was his favorite song to beat-off to since he was a

Fly 10-24-2003 04:50 AM

professional johnson fluffer.It's too bad that Munku chose that route to follow

Midlandmadman 10-24-2003 05:10 AM

. Ever since his run-in with LONG DONG SILVER, Munku has never been able .........

bundy 10-24-2003 05:31 AM

completely close his mouth. Drooling has become a real problem, especially on dates

Chingal0 10-24-2003 10:17 AM

where his date resembles a 3 toed lemur. His extreme fetish with lemurs

Midlandmadman 10-24-2003 10:22 AM

is still legal in Mississippi, but it is frowned apon. To stop drooling,

paddyjoe 10-24-2003 12:17 PM

he's found that cotton balls and duct tape work almost as well as

Astrocloud 10-24-2003 01:38 PM

wrapping his versatile and oddly elastic lips lengthwise around a giant thick juicy

Fremen 10-24-2003 05:08 PM

saguaro cactus that still has the needles intact. He uses the needles to

sTghezzo 10-24-2003 07:21 PM

apply liquid acid to his eyeball and hallucinate about tofu action figures that

bundy 10-24-2003 07:42 PM

are anatomically correct, each packing decent sized genitals. Suddenly, a Blue Whale launched

sTghezzo 10-24-2003 08:46 PM

a vicious jeloping of chinese senators that were hellbent on vengeance towards sixteen

paddyjoe 10-25-2003 04:53 AM

of flyman's most stoned crew. "Hit 'em with our extra eggrolls", directed fly,

Fly 10-25-2003 07:24 AM

"then toss them a couple of fortune cookies.".....The poor bastards won't know

Astrocloud 10-25-2003 09:48 AM

what drugs they're on. The Chinese looked especially stoned and had the munchies.

Fremen 10-25-2003 12:00 PM

Being Chinese though, they were hungry again in an hour for more munchies

bundy 10-25-2003 05:22 PM

, so they decided to hold up the local convenience store. The store owner,

sailor 10-25-2003 05:26 PM

an old fisherman who had decided to take a breather from the sea

Astrocloud 10-25-2003 05:35 PM

because of an old fling with a mermaid and he couldn't find the

Fly 10-25-2003 05:43 PM

damn treasure,decided to show these thieves the meaning of jesus,and pulled

splck 10-25-2003 06:07 PM

four loops of rope from his fanny pack along with a pound of

bundy 10-25-2003 06:58 PM

good marijuana that he stole from Flymans personal stash. He tied the rope

Fremen 10-25-2003 08:02 PM

around his little willie, hoping to make amends by pulling it off so

Chingal0 10-25-2003 08:24 PM

his turtle, whom he molested nightly, would forgive him. Alas, his weiner was

Astrocloud 10-25-2003 10:30 PM

hurting from the frequent turtle snaps. "Goddamn it!" He cussed, "My little willie

sTghezzo 10-25-2003 11:52 PM

is too small to hold the rope on!" meanwhile the chinese senators had

paddyjoe 10-26-2003 05:32 AM

ransacked his store, removing all the copies of Hustler and Penthouse. Fremen, meanwhile

sailor 10-26-2003 06:47 AM

was wondering why the sun had turned purple. He quickly reached into his

sTghezzo 10-26-2003 04:11 PM

purse and out he pulled this flexible peice of rubber called a two-headed

Astrocloud 10-26-2003 04:39 PM

imperial taskmaster. He flexed it and it felt good in his hand. Velvet

sailor 10-26-2003 06:35 PM

Underground was his favorite band, but recently he had taken a liking to

Chingal0 10-26-2003 10:15 PM

humping macaroni and cheese. Velveeta was preferd, fresh from the package, still in

sTghezzo 10-26-2003 10:37 PM

the package for that matter, he didnt care. He did care about the

Chingal0 10-26-2003 10:40 PM

gooey feeling on his junk, as thats the reason for humping velveeta. Sea-Man

paddyjoe 10-27-2003 04:15 AM

loved Fremen, as they both shared a love for the Kraft family. Meanwhile,

splck 10-27-2003 06:39 AM

Flyman was wondering what happened to his stash that was shoved up his

Midlandmadman 10-27-2003 06:44 AM

chimeny. "If that fucker Santa ate my cheese...... I'll kill him!", Flyman roared!!!!

Tarn 10-27-2003 07:21 AM

So he went over to his crystalball, and was amazed ..

paddyjoe 10-27-2003 07:52 AM

to find out it was Rudolph, AKA Midlandmadman, that ate the cheese. "He's

sTghezzo 10-27-2003 03:29 PM

"... off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of ozz!" said flyman as

Fremen 10-27-2003 03:44 PM

he passed paddyjoe going to Chingal0s' bungalo to watch a porno starring bundys'

paddyjoe 10-27-2003 05:13 PM

siamese twin sister. "Damn, what'd go good with this smut, would be some

Fly 10-27-2003 06:08 PM

pork chops........and.....apple sauce.......But bundy had a little bit of a......

Chingal0 10-27-2003 06:59 PM

rash on his ass and so he couldnt make it to geriatric bingo

sailor 10-27-2003 07:47 PM

which upset his midget sex slave greatly. So instead he decided to

sTghezzo 10-27-2003 08:54 PM

beat his midget sex slave severly with a bag of cat food and

Chingal0 10-27-2003 09:00 PM

a jar of mayonaise. Luckily, the midget had this all on camera and

Astrocloud 10-27-2003 11:01 PM

had notified Hitler who was waiting by the bar with a cactus that

Fremen 10-28-2003 02:45 AM

sprouted peyote, that was all the rage in flymans' and uncle phils' suburban

paddyjoe 10-28-2003 04:12 AM

double wide sex parlor. Uncle phil, fresh from his morning spanking, muttered, "lets

Fly 10-28-2003 04:19 AM

see if we can't get us some more hoes."Paddyjoe was eager to...

Midlandmadman 10-28-2003 04:36 AM

to see if the double strength viagra perscription was going to be strong............

Astrocloud 10-28-2003 08:02 AM

-redundantly speaking; it was. He managed a boner that looked exactly like Mrs.

jimk 10-28-2003 02:09 PM

Butterworth. "give me some flapjacks, and i'll pour you some syrup!", he screamed........

sTghezzo 10-28-2003 05:04 PM

as he decided to down all of the viagra. He then mutated into

Astrocloud 10-28-2003 09:47 PM

some random object which then mutated back into paddyjoe "Whoah, I'm tripping." Lesbians

paddyjoe 10-29-2003 04:53 AM

are suddenly changing teams to experience the iron bone. "I just can't believe

Fly 10-29-2003 04:59 AM

i'm feeling like a schoolgirl."paddyjoe replied."What to do with all these...

Chingal0 10-29-2003 11:59 AM

canadian quarters that I found in my socks!?" "I suppose I could buy

Astrocloud 10-29-2003 12:44 PM

some Zombie Jism from that Canadian vending machine." Unfortunately, the infernal machine was

paddyjoe 10-29-2003 01:15 PM

ejaculating only Middle Eastern spooge. "Well, it's brain dead but not living dead

Astrocloud 10-29-2003 01:30 PM

like those Zombies walking towards me with shit eating grins on their faces."

prince_albert 10-29-2003 01:35 PM

The mad Yanks, running around nekkid, killing Zomibe. Not really, but the could.

Fremen 10-29-2003 03:32 PM

Too bad the zombies found where bundy and his siamese-twin sister Moolag lived


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