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the speakers in flyman's `56 Chevy. "Damn, I got a trunk full of greasy
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french fries, that are sure to give me heartburn!". Well, the aliens hated......................
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the greasy fries,but absolutley loved nancy on the boom box,and asked.......
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flyman to "CRANK IT!!!!!" . Being the bastard that he is, flyman refused. "FUCK..........
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...YOU."............"Get your own freakin' stereo.""quit fuckin' buggin' me,and go back.....
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to your pig /boot cookout, ya alien FUCKS!!!!!". Then he farted at them.
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He would soon discover that that was the wrong thing to do, because
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the aliens had horned-out lesbians in their spaceship, and they weren't sharing.
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"Wait, I know" the fly thought, "I'll pull that double dildo away from
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bundy.......even though it will piss him right off.......and use it as....
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bait to lure the oversexed sapphic beauties away from the aliens!" his plan
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didn't accommodate for the actual size of the twin-headed monster which was actually
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bundy and his siamese-twin sister, Moolag, who, after being sexually aroused by the
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Monkey of Gibraltar, destroyed every living gnat on the face of the earth.
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Moolag, bundy´s siamese sister, once topped the country music charts with a moving
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ballad titled 'My other head eats shit'. Teenie-boppers everywhere ate the single up
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with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. bundy retaliated with an arsenal...
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of shit-slinging penguins. The teenie-boppers had no chance. The penguins annihilated
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...the Bubonic plague back in the 1300s. originally spread by the horned-out lesbians, but..
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the lesbians returned, spreading a horrid virus named Smilax officinalis. This virus ate
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Chicago, since it was just sitting there, supporting Bones and his lazy-assed chimp
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Bubbles. "Oh man!" cried bundy, "I could have saved Chicago if only I
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really gave a shit about the place." The virus moved to a town.....
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that had a low crime rate and lots of parks for the children.
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The virus took one look at all the Volvos parked on the streets
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and started stealing all the hubcaps. "You can never have too many of
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these pretty shiny ones." It turned and looked back towards the thing it
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left in the place of the stolen hubcaps. It was a really big
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strap-on dildo, flying at hypersonic speeds thru the clouds, leaving contrails of dildos
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that, if you looked closely, spelled out, "Bones got the monkey, monkey blues!".
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Regular dildos don't fly like that. This one was special, it had personality
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and felt the real pain of rejection from its last owner, Astrocloud. This special
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Dildo also cursed like a motherfucker. "Bundy get me a fuckin' Beer, you
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cock slut whore fuck bitch marsupial-tits wannabee michael j. fox bastard cookiecutter winner
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, who we all love!¨ screamed Munku from his solarium, where he spent most
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of his man-seed against the frosted glass, while cackling, "WE ARE FAMILY",
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which was his favorite song to beat-off to since he was a
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professional johnson fluffer.It's too bad that Munku chose that route to follow
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. Ever since his run-in with LONG DONG SILVER, Munku has never been able .........
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completely close his mouth. Drooling has become a real problem, especially on dates
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where his date resembles a 3 toed lemur. His extreme fetish with lemurs
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is still legal in Mississippi, but it is frowned apon. To stop drooling,
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he's found that cotton balls and duct tape work almost as well as
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wrapping his versatile and oddly elastic lips lengthwise around a giant thick juicy
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saguaro cactus that still has the needles intact. He uses the needles to
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apply liquid acid to his eyeball and hallucinate about tofu action figures that
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are anatomically correct, each packing decent sized genitals. Suddenly, a Blue Whale launched
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a vicious jeloping of chinese senators that were hellbent on vengeance towards sixteen
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of flyman's most stoned crew. "Hit 'em with our extra eggrolls", directed fly,
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"then toss them a couple of fortune cookies.".....The poor bastards won't know
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what drugs they're on. The Chinese looked especially stoned and had the munchies.
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Being Chinese though, they were hungry again in an hour for more munchies
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, so they decided to hold up the local convenience store. The store owner,
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an old fisherman who had decided to take a breather from the sea
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because of an old fling with a mermaid and he couldn't find the
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damn treasure,decided to show these thieves the meaning of jesus,and pulled
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four loops of rope from his fanny pack along with a pound of
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good marijuana that he stole from Flymans personal stash. He tied the rope
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around his little willie, hoping to make amends by pulling it off so
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his turtle, whom he molested nightly, would forgive him. Alas, his weiner was
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hurting from the frequent turtle snaps. "Goddamn it!" He cussed, "My little willie
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is too small to hold the rope on!" meanwhile the chinese senators had
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ransacked his store, removing all the copies of Hustler and Penthouse. Fremen, meanwhile
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was wondering why the sun had turned purple. He quickly reached into his
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purse and out he pulled this flexible peice of rubber called a two-headed
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imperial taskmaster. He flexed it and it felt good in his hand. Velvet
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Underground was his favorite band, but recently he had taken a liking to
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humping macaroni and cheese. Velveeta was preferd, fresh from the package, still in
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the package for that matter, he didnt care. He did care about the
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gooey feeling on his junk, as thats the reason for humping velveeta. Sea-Man
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loved Fremen, as they both shared a love for the Kraft family. Meanwhile,
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Flyman was wondering what happened to his stash that was shoved up his
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chimeny. "If that fucker Santa ate my cheese...... I'll kill him!", Flyman roared!!!!
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So he went over to his crystalball, and was amazed ..
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to find out it was Rudolph, AKA Midlandmadman, that ate the cheese. "He's
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"... off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of ozz!" said flyman as
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he passed paddyjoe going to Chingal0s' bungalo to watch a porno starring bundys'
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siamese twin sister. "Damn, what'd go good with this smut, would be some
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pork chops........and.....apple sauce.......But bundy had a little bit of a......
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rash on his ass and so he couldnt make it to geriatric bingo
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which upset his midget sex slave greatly. So instead he decided to
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beat his midget sex slave severly with a bag of cat food and
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a jar of mayonaise. Luckily, the midget had this all on camera and
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had notified Hitler who was waiting by the bar with a cactus that
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sprouted peyote, that was all the rage in flymans' and uncle phils' suburban
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double wide sex parlor. Uncle phil, fresh from his morning spanking, muttered, "lets
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see if we can't get us some more hoes."Paddyjoe was eager to...
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to see if the double strength viagra perscription was going to be strong............
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-redundantly speaking; it was. He managed a boner that looked exactly like Mrs.
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Butterworth. "give me some flapjacks, and i'll pour you some syrup!", he screamed........
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as he decided to down all of the viagra. He then mutated into
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some random object which then mutated back into paddyjoe "Whoah, I'm tripping." Lesbians
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are suddenly changing teams to experience the iron bone. "I just can't believe
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i'm feeling like a schoolgirl."paddyjoe replied."What to do with all these...
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canadian quarters that I found in my socks!?" "I suppose I could buy
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some Zombie Jism from that Canadian vending machine." Unfortunately, the infernal machine was
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ejaculating only Middle Eastern spooge. "Well, it's brain dead but not living dead
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like those Zombies walking towards me with shit eating grins on their faces."
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The mad Yanks, running around nekkid, killing Zomibe. Not really, but the could.
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Too bad the zombies found where bundy and his siamese-twin sister Moolag lived
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