|
the speakers in flyman's `56 Chevy. "Damn, I got a trunk full of greasy
|
french fries, that are sure to give me heartburn!". Well, the aliens hated......................
|
the greasy fries,but absolutley loved nancy on the boom box,and asked.......
|
flyman to "CRANK IT!!!!!" . Being the bastard that he is, flyman refused. "FUCK..........
|
...YOU."............"Get your own freakin' stereo.""quit fuckin' buggin' me,and go back.....
|
to your pig /boot cookout, ya alien FUCKS!!!!!". Then he farted at them.
|
He would soon discover that that was the wrong thing to do, because
|
the aliens had horned-out lesbians in their spaceship, and they weren't sharing.
|
"Wait, I know" the fly thought, "I'll pull that double dildo away from
|
bundy.......even though it will piss him right off.......and use it as....
|
bait to lure the oversexed sapphic beauties away from the aliens!" his plan
|
didn't accommodate for the actual size of the twin-headed monster which was actually
|
bundy and his siamese-twin sister, Moolag, who, after being sexually aroused by the
|
Monkey of Gibraltar, destroyed every living gnat on the face of the earth.
|
Moolag, bundy´s siamese sister, once topped the country music charts with a moving
|
ballad titled 'My other head eats shit'. Teenie-boppers everywhere ate the single up
|
with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. bundy retaliated with an arsenal...
|
of shit-slinging penguins. The teenie-boppers had no chance. The penguins annihilated
|
...the Bubonic plague back in the 1300s. originally spread by the horned-out lesbians, but..
|
the lesbians returned, spreading a horrid virus named Smilax officinalis. This virus ate
|
Chicago, since it was just sitting there, supporting Bones and his lazy-assed chimp
|
Bubbles. "Oh man!" cried bundy, "I could have saved Chicago if only I
|
really gave a shit about the place." The virus moved to a town.....
|
that had a low crime rate and lots of parks for the children.
|
The virus took one look at all the Volvos parked on the streets
|
and started stealing all the hubcaps. "You can never have too many of
|
these pretty shiny ones." It turned and looked back towards the thing it
|
left in the place of the stolen hubcaps. It was a really big
|
strap-on dildo, flying at hypersonic speeds thru the clouds, leaving contrails of dildos
|
that, if you looked closely, spelled out, "Bones got the monkey, monkey blues!".
|
Regular dildos don't fly like that. This one was special, it had personality
|
and felt the real pain of rejection from its last owner, Astrocloud. This special
|
Dildo also cursed like a motherfucker. "Bundy get me a fuckin' Beer, you
|
cock slut whore fuck bitch marsupial-tits wannabee michael j. fox bastard cookiecutter winner
|
, who we all love!¨ screamed Munku from his solarium, where he spent most
|
of his man-seed against the frosted glass, while cackling, "WE ARE FAMILY",
|
which was his favorite song to beat-off to since he was a
|
professional johnson fluffer.It's too bad that Munku chose that route to follow
|
. Ever since his run-in with LONG DONG SILVER, Munku has never been able .........
|
completely close his mouth. Drooling has become a real problem, especially on dates
|
where his date resembles a 3 toed lemur. His extreme fetish with lemurs
|
is still legal in Mississippi, but it is frowned apon. To stop drooling,
|
he's found that cotton balls and duct tape work almost as well as
|
wrapping his versatile and oddly elastic lips lengthwise around a giant thick juicy
|
saguaro cactus that still has the needles intact. He uses the needles to
|
apply liquid acid to his eyeball and hallucinate about tofu action figures that
|
are anatomically correct, each packing decent sized genitals. Suddenly, a Blue Whale launched
|
a vicious jeloping of chinese senators that were hellbent on vengeance towards sixteen
|
of flyman's most stoned crew. "Hit 'em with our extra eggrolls", directed fly,
|
"then toss them a couple of fortune cookies.".....The poor bastards won't know
|
what drugs they're on. The Chinese looked especially stoned and had the munchies.
|
Being Chinese though, they were hungry again in an hour for more munchies
|
, so they decided to hold up the local convenience store. The store owner,
|
an old fisherman who had decided to take a breather from the sea
|
because of an old fling with a mermaid and he couldn't find the
|
damn treasure,decided to show these thieves the meaning of jesus,and pulled
|
four loops of rope from his fanny pack along with a pound of
|
good marijuana that he stole from Flymans personal stash. He tied the rope
|
around his little willie, hoping to make amends by pulling it off so
|
his turtle, whom he molested nightly, would forgive him. Alas, his weiner was
|
hurting from the frequent turtle snaps. "Goddamn it!" He cussed, "My little willie
|
is too small to hold the rope on!" meanwhile the chinese senators had
|
ransacked his store, removing all the copies of Hustler and Penthouse. Fremen, meanwhile
|
was wondering why the sun had turned purple. He quickly reached into his
|
purse and out he pulled this flexible peice of rubber called a two-headed
|
imperial taskmaster. He flexed it and it felt good in his hand. Velvet
|
Underground was his favorite band, but recently he had taken a liking to
|
humping macaroni and cheese. Velveeta was preferd, fresh from the package, still in
|
the package for that matter, he didnt care. He did care about the
|
gooey feeling on his junk, as thats the reason for humping velveeta. Sea-Man
|
loved Fremen, as they both shared a love for the Kraft family. Meanwhile,
|
Flyman was wondering what happened to his stash that was shoved up his
|
chimeny. "If that fucker Santa ate my cheese...... I'll kill him!", Flyman roared!!!!
|
So he went over to his crystalball, and was amazed ..
|
to find out it was Rudolph, AKA Midlandmadman, that ate the cheese. "He's
|
"... off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of ozz!" said flyman as
|
he passed paddyjoe going to Chingal0s' bungalo to watch a porno starring bundys'
|
siamese twin sister. "Damn, what'd go good with this smut, would be some
|
pork chops........and.....apple sauce.......But bundy had a little bit of a......
|
rash on his ass and so he couldnt make it to geriatric bingo
|
which upset his midget sex slave greatly. So instead he decided to
|
beat his midget sex slave severly with a bag of cat food and
|
a jar of mayonaise. Luckily, the midget had this all on camera and
|
had notified Hitler who was waiting by the bar with a cactus that
|
sprouted peyote, that was all the rage in flymans' and uncle phils' suburban
|
double wide sex parlor. Uncle phil, fresh from his morning spanking, muttered, "lets
|
see if we can't get us some more hoes."Paddyjoe was eager to...
|
to see if the double strength viagra perscription was going to be strong............
|
-redundantly speaking; it was. He managed a boner that looked exactly like Mrs.
|
Butterworth. "give me some flapjacks, and i'll pour you some syrup!", he screamed........
|
as he decided to down all of the viagra. He then mutated into
|
some random object which then mutated back into paddyjoe "Whoah, I'm tripping." Lesbians
|
are suddenly changing teams to experience the iron bone. "I just can't believe
|
i'm feeling like a schoolgirl."paddyjoe replied."What to do with all these...
|
canadian quarters that I found in my socks!?" "I suppose I could buy
|
some Zombie Jism from that Canadian vending machine." Unfortunately, the infernal machine was
|
ejaculating only Middle Eastern spooge. "Well, it's brain dead but not living dead
|
like those Zombies walking towards me with shit eating grins on their faces."
|
The mad Yanks, running around nekkid, killing Zomibe. Not really, but the could.
|
Too bad the zombies found where bundy and his siamese-twin sister Moolag lived
|
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:25 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project