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ship circling in the bay, zeroing in on his little gay love nest
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headed by the one and only bundy.And to top things off,splck....
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....the commander of a nuclear sub, was looking to start World War 3.....
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but couldn't find the ocean. He thought for a while, then jumped on
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a ruby encrusted pogo-stick and headed back towards the gay love nest, with
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Fremen tied to the periscope. "Wow", exclaimed Fremen, " I love it up here
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you can see the sunset, it's breathtaking!" Meanwhile, Splck broke the pogo-stick during
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a rage filled session of self-abuse and caramel apple dipping before Halloween
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though he usually didn't pay attention to pagan holidays. "What was in those
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apples Splck?" Said a trick-or-treater. "You know, the usual. Razorblades and
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drug needles. What do you expect from the modern youth of today?"
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"Well, I expect a hell of a lot more then drug needles and.........
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to have my ass kicked down your front steps! Hell, over at flyman's
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he hands out,wrapped nicely, little pieces of his neighbours pet cockatiel named..
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Ludus, who used to enjoy french cinema while it chirped along to the
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@#g[/0=1~6&# bundy!!
opening song of Jeopardy. It wasn't that it liked Jeopardy, it was Alex |
Trebek's epileptic fits and spastic siezures that made the bird act like a
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crazed bullfrog. It would hop around chirping and trying to catch flies with
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gimpy wings or some other physical deformity. It was quite a lazy predator.
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It prefered to lay in wait for it's prey to come down the
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newly repaved interstate. Unfortunately, it was run over by an out of control
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steam roller with an acid-trippin' Elmer Fudd look-alike at the controls
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and yelling at the top of his lungs...."i'm gonna get dat wascally.....
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wabbit... and then i´m a gonna eat it... ¨ but little did he realise
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that the wabbit had already gotten him. He was still driving around, but
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his arms had been swapped, by the wabbit, for extra long redhead matches
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. Now the only drawback to having matches as arms is that you can't...........
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light your bong without burning your whole arm. "Not to fear", proclaimed flyman,
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"if paddyjoe were to hold the bong,then i shall sacrifice my arms...
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for the sake of higher conciousness and inner peace. Bundy, man the carb!
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With smoldering match stumps for arms, but a head full of consciousness, he
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took a huge hit, said a silent prayer, then blew smoke up bundys'
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nose, which made him sneeze uncontrollably. Bundy got pissed. He was so upset......
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he began to twitch and shake like he did way to much cocaine!
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When he finally calmed down, he looked around and discovered that giant flying . .
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spaceship had just landed behind him. So he walked over to it and . .
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suddenly, it vanished. Just like in that awesome movie starring that guy from
|
"Welcome Back Kotter" or was it "Friends"? I keep getting them mixed up. . .
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because everyone who is on those shows look just the same to me!
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Fast forward 10,000,000 years to a time when everyone is a clone of
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Marty Feldman or Rowan Atkinson; "handsome" having been outlawed after the war of
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Canada, but anyways that doesn't matter because the clone of Tony Danza rules . . .
|
... Suddenly bundy transformed into the form of the once deceased Fremen, who died
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when I received a sudden whiff of bundys' abundant pit odor, which he
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attempted to bottle, and sell to the war-torn Canadians as a new
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love elixer to use on our crazed beavers.Added to maple syrup,this
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becomes the worst most potent aphrodisiac. Paddyjoe tried to patent the recipe, but
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government sponsored ninjas burst into the room whipping throwing stars in every direction
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except down, because they didn't want to step on them. The Canadian beavers
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were in a frenzy from the 'bundy effect', when they jumped the border
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and caused so much havoc that Lord Phil had to call out the
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vicious, wasp-waisted, jewel-encrusted, miniature poodle dogs that roamed free on his
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the 70's with hashish and a mild form of scrotum torture, which involved
|
attaching each individual pube to a wild goat and sticking electric shocker pads
|
to his ankles,that he somehow got above his ears,in a painful
|
yet strangely relaxing yoga position. After this experimentation in this torture and drugs
|
, phil decided to create a company to make and sell his growing collection
|
of exotic eastern sleeper jammies, which he felt would make him a millionaire.
(sorry i had to bring the jammies into this) |
Quote:
Unfortunately for uncle phil, the Eastern silkworm had been fed some high-quality Colombian |
menstrual blood, which rendered the first three shipments of jammies a weird shade
|
of.....get this......purple.Now this also made the silkworm appear to have
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an extra rappid spinning rate so the could crank out a couple thousand . . .
|
pairs of weird smelling jammies. Phil was ecstatic at the thought of this
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silkworm, and so he decided to sell it on ebay. Finally it sold
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for 2 dollars to an alien Elvis-impersonator who used it to seduce
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the cousin of that wabbit. Meanwhile, Flyman was daydreaming about rolling a fat
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green leprechaun into a blanket and throwing him into a tub of slimy
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week old caviar. "I figure this little guy'll piss me out some Guinness
|
if he knows what's good for him." Meanwhile, the leprechaun packed his Lucky
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Green Dildo into his suitcase, crossed his arms, nodded his head and
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said...."fuck this,i'm going to bundy's place."With suitcase in hand,he went....
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knowing that bundy couldn't resist him when he had his magic green dildo.
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When he got there bundy was already at the door waiting for him.
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He was waiting a long time, and had fallen asleep. The leprechaun took
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bundy by the ears, and gently but carefully lubed that special little place
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,his left nostril.Then,what happened next was so bizzare,that bundy really
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thought about turning it over to his Siamese twin-sisters' mouth, which was the best
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mouth in the south. But, He didn't turn it over in fact, he
|
decided that the only person worthy of sharing it was his buddy Fremen.
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Now after the leprechaun had his way with bundy and his sister,all
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his attentions could be spent on magically separating bundy and his siamese twin
|
who shortly after the magical operation, began a tapdancing tour across japan. The
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Japanese adored him, and declared a national holiday in his honour. They named
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the newly seperated dancing twins, Marykate and Ashley! Oh, the love they had.....
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for Bosco. It puts hustle in your muscle. And we all know how
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Marykate & Ashley are deserving of the MOST hustling muscle!! see their clothes?!? Lordy,
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lordy, lordy. Visible nipple is a bold fashion statement no matter where you
|
stand on the whole under-age issue. Sadly someone infected Marykate and Ashley with
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a form of vampir virus that infects, usually, only one out of two
|
billion people. "I think the little skanks got what they deserved!" Paddyjoe said.
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His head exploded soon after in a brilliant display of various sorts of
|
fireworks and sparkles. The body crumpled to the ground. A bright new day
|
Quote:
Quote:
[FUCK......does this mean I'm dead!?!......c'mon, somebody bring me back!] *sigh......alright, carry on........... |
dawned and the people woke up from the magic induced slumber that was
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saw paddyjoe become the first artificial head transplant recipient. But he still couldn't
*edit* Sorry, GSRIDER. I didn't refresh before posting. |
speak french like he always wanted. The head they used came from a
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teenage prostitute who was renouned for his ability to suck on a big
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garganguan rubber fist molded from the hand stunt double of ron jeremy the....
|
(Hoooraaaay, I Love You Guys)
|
Prostitute also used to like it in the ass. But paddyjoe preferred taking
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