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13-Word Story
This game is so much better than the three-word-story game because
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turd. I think its really gonna catch on. Hey, did you hear about
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the guy who couldn't count to thirteen? Well? Did you? He was a
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moron. Hey I can't count to 13 either but sometimes I get lucky.
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Like this time. Good for you, Munku! Care to give it another try?
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This thread isn't exactly a story yet though is it??? I say we
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A lonely man, who never got anywhere in his life, so who cares?
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Which is why we will talk about a differant person. His name is
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Ialy. The discussion board he started was clearly out of control. Posters kept
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posting, as posters are wont to do. Wont!? Is that even a word?
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This thread, new and supple, will henceforth be a retirement home for swear words.
(fuck, i canīt count!!) |
Gordon the Plumber is actually a superhero that no one knows about and
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likes to use his wrench the way many like to use their favorite
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SPOON! Spoons are fun to play. i think we should start a band called
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Cutlery.Paddyjoe can take pictures,i'll play the drums and maybe someone else
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, probably Fremen, can be in charge of killing the moths and humping groupies
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that constantly try to jump flyman's bones. Gordan is flyman's main source of
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HIV as well as other friendly STDs. Now, back to Gordon. One day
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Gordon was wondering about the benefits of ribbed condoms as oppose to plastic
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wrap. Oddly wetting his hand in the toilet first, he wrapped plastic around
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his green slimy tongue, all the while stroking his useless stump of a
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johnson.Poor Gordon didn't quite have it for the ladies,but maybe bundy
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had the answer he was looking for in the shape of a piglet
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called Monty. Even though Monty was blind and deaf, Gordon would take care
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of all its porcine needs, which included shaving its chinny chin chin and
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finding a corkscrew shaped porcine vagina for the lonely little pink pig. BUT
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this wasn't Gordons only problem, he also suffered from halatosis. He wasn't good
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in the sack. Partially due to the bad breath. But also his feet
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which were covered in warts and smelled of mouldy meat and sour milk.
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This piglet ate burritos constantly, so people often called him the "<b>full </b>Monty".
<font color="black"><small>groaner. yup. sorry. couldn't help myself.</small></font> |
Anyway, Monty gave Gordon a reason to live. And Gordon was happy. Until
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flyman tempted him with his bong, then lured him into his `56 chevy
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backseat, where they smoked weed and loved one another with a passion that
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caused a nearby gang of Hell's Angels to break into a dance routine
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which escalated to a full-blown chorus line involving fireworks, poodles in drag,
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rockettes on acid, unicyclists juggling chainsaws, circus freaks of every shape and size.
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When that had died down, Flyman then told Gordon that he didnīt love
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barbequed wings anymore. Instead his new passion in life includes celery sticks and
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meth and anal insertions. Gordon could relate because he too enjoyed a good
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anal probe, especially when it had been soaked in honey overnight and it
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tickled his balls. Suddenly, the sky grew dark with ominous storm clouds and
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large electric lawnchairs that flew through the air at tremendous speeds and almost
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blew off some random guy's head! It was totally and utter anarchy in
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the U.K., so to speak. They actually lived in a small country called
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Oompa-Loompa Land that sold pork riblets made out of Gordons' cousins that were
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saturated in motor oil, then smoked over dried cat droppings that had been
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left in paddyjoe's shoes for seven days and seven nights where they fermented
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slowly. The people of Oompa-Loompa Land worshipped Monty the Piglet, and used its
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bones of dead mimes to achieve the odd concoction used to fend off
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HIV. But Gordon was just a plumber, and already had HIV so he
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used this dead-mimish-concoction to lure llamas to his furry, florescent green
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sty. Once there, he'd quickly ejaculate a mixture of Franks hot sauce and
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day old blue cheese, which he would use to cover up his gaping
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heart. It gave Gordon a heart attack. But not to fear, for Monty
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had bought a fibulator off eBay a few days earlier. Gordon was jolted
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but his chest caved in revealing a fanged maw that snapped Monty's hands
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like Twix when you take them out of the freezer cold and fragile
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. Monty was extremely alarmed by his spewing stump, but then he thought, "Hook!".
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ĻAt lastĻ, he screamed, ĻItīs a pirates life for me now!!Ļ he then
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exploded into countless piratical pieces which crawled off to form independent zombie pirates
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who were good at impersonating oprah. Zombie pirate oprahs everywhere! It was enough
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to shiver me timbers, if my timbers weren't made out of fir! Arrrrrrrrr!!!
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And indeed, Fremen was the first person that the zombie pirates visited. They
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raped, pillaged, looted, plundered, wrecked, sodomized, dishonored themselves on, and generally ruined Fremen's
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typically rosy outlook. he now was a broken, bitter man. he vowed to
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become the greatest zombie pirate ever known. It was, in fact, remarkably easy
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to defeat some of the drunk zombie pirate challengers who stood in his
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way. After dispatching Zombie pirates for the next 4 years, freman became the
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assistant short order cook at a place called "Wanda's" located in south central
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topeka. the job didn't last long, since fremen refused to wash up after
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using the bathroom. Often he was heard mumbling " I'll fucking wash my hands....
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...when hell freezes over!!Ļ So, Fremen hit the road once again, but this
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time without the extra baggage of carrying Gordon around in three different suitcases.
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He had barely reached the outskirts of Topeka, when fate intervened, giving Fremen
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an evil idea. Thinking that no one was watching, Fremen pulled down his
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sun visor, whipped out a pencil, and stuck it firmly, yet squarely into
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a slightly skeevy Ho-Ho that had been rattling around in his battered, yet
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beaten '56 chevy that housed 69 kilos of the finest B.C. bud that
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ever crossed the border.
It was to be sold to wasted college kids |
that use daddy's tuition money to buy drugs and fritos, but more middle-aged.......
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...snack foods collided in the glove compartment forming a crude DNA strand which...
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tightened all the barriers that binds this plane of existence with the one
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that bundy seems to think is the way to go,while he ingests
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remnants of flymans pork chop dinner. Meanwhile, three of the wasted college students
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paddyjoe,splck and vermin,were watching as Fremen inserted a large,unidentifiable object
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into flyman to make him appear alert and maybe even a little bit
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stable, at least enough to where the doctors couldn't tell if he was
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male or female. "Damn", uttered flyman, "I've been like this all my life,
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i usually just tuck my old fella up and under,Ļ explained Flyman. He
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read somewhere that things are not always what they seem. But this time
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he could not be stopped. He was like a madman - a man possessed.
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Possessed like Ralph Macchio, the karate kid he is. Everything was fine until he..
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pulled that fucker out and started to strike people in the face just..
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because he could. "This phony phallus is just what I need to become
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more like mr. miyagi. wax on, wax off. now for the oral sex."
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Reaching down, he suddenly stopped and listened intently - what was that he thought ...
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him anyway and was just taking the piss and waiting for something better
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to fly up his ass. Not that he would enjoy that or anything...
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, but "Come on", he thought, " It's always like this when I get whacked
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off in summertime, with a lemonaid in one hand and a gun
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