13-Word Story
 

This game is so much better than the three-word-story game because

turd. I think its really gonna catch on. Hey, did you hear about

the guy who couldn't count to thirteen? Well? Did you? He was a

moron. Hey I can't count to 13 either but sometimes I get lucky.

Like this time. Good for you, Munku! Care to give it another try?

This thread isn't exactly a story yet though is it??? I say we

A lonely man, who never got anywhere in his life, so who cares?

Which is why we will talk about a differant person. His name is

Ialy. The discussion board he started was clearly out of control. Posters kept

posting, as posters are wont to do. Wont!? Is that even a word?

This thread, new and supple, will henceforth be a retirement home for swear words.

(fuck, i can´t count!!)

Gordon the Plumber is actually a superhero that no one knows about and

likes to use his wrench the way many like to use their favorite

SPOON! Spoons are fun to play. i think we should start a band called

Cutlery.Paddyjoe can take pictures,i'll play the drums and maybe someone else

, probably Fremen, can be in charge of killing the moths and humping groupies

that constantly try to jump flyman's bones. Gordan is flyman's main source of

HIV as well as other friendly STDs. Now, back to Gordon. One day

Gordon was wondering about the benefits of ribbed condoms as oppose to plastic

wrap. Oddly wetting his hand in the toilet first, he wrapped plastic around

his green slimy tongue, all the while stroking his useless stump of a

johnson.Poor Gordon didn't quite have it for the ladies,but maybe bundy

had the answer he was looking for in the shape of a piglet

called Monty. Even though Monty was blind and deaf, Gordon would take care

of all its porcine needs, which included shaving its chinny chin chin and

finding a corkscrew shaped porcine vagina for the lonely little pink pig. BUT

this wasn't Gordons only problem, he also suffered from halatosis. He wasn't good

in the sack. Partially due to the bad breath. But also his feet

which were covered in warts and smelled of mouldy meat and sour milk.

This piglet ate burritos constantly, so people often called him the "<b>full </b>Monty".


<font color="black"><small>groaner. yup. sorry. couldn't help myself.</small></font>

Anyway, Monty gave Gordon a reason to live. And Gordon was happy. Until

flyman tempted him with his bong, then lured him into his `56 chevy

backseat, where they smoked weed and loved one another with a passion that

caused a nearby gang of Hell's Angels to break into a dance routine

which escalated to a full-blown chorus line involving fireworks, poodles in drag,

rockettes on acid, unicyclists juggling chainsaws, circus freaks of every shape and size.

When that had died down, Flyman then told Gordon that he didn´t love

barbequed wings anymore. Instead his new passion in life includes celery sticks and

meth and anal insertions. Gordon could relate because he too enjoyed a good

anal probe, especially when it had been soaked in honey overnight and it

tickled his balls. Suddenly, the sky grew dark with ominous storm clouds and

large electric lawnchairs that flew through the air at tremendous speeds and almost

blew off some random guy's head! It was totally and utter anarchy in

the U.K., so to speak. They actually lived in a small country called

Oompa-Loompa Land that sold pork riblets made out of Gordons' cousins that were

saturated in motor oil, then smoked over dried cat droppings that had been

left in paddyjoe's shoes for seven days and seven nights where they fermented

slowly. The people of Oompa-Loompa Land worshipped Monty the Piglet, and used its

bones of dead mimes to achieve the odd concoction used to fend off

HIV. But Gordon was just a plumber, and already had HIV so he

used this dead-mimish-concoction to lure llamas to his furry, florescent green

sty. Once there, he'd quickly ejaculate a mixture of Franks hot sauce and

day old blue cheese, which he would use to cover up his gaping

heart. It gave Gordon a heart attack. But not to fear, for Monty

had bought a fibulator off eBay a few days earlier. Gordon was jolted

but his chest caved in revealing a fanged maw that snapped Monty's hands

like Twix when you take them out of the freezer cold and fragile

. Monty was extremely alarmed by his spewing stump, but then he thought, "Hook!".

¨At last¨, he screamed, ¨It´s a pirates life for me now!!¨ he then

exploded into countless piratical pieces which crawled off to form independent zombie pirates

who were good at impersonating oprah. Zombie pirate oprahs everywhere! It was enough

to shiver me timbers, if my timbers weren't made out of fir! Arrrrrrrrr!!!

And indeed, Fremen was the first person that the zombie pirates visited. They

raped, pillaged, looted, plundered, wrecked, sodomized, dishonored themselves on, and generally ruined Fremen's

typically rosy outlook. he now was a broken, bitter man. he vowed to

become the greatest zombie pirate ever known. It was, in fact, remarkably easy

to defeat some of the drunk zombie pirate challengers who stood in his

way. After dispatching Zombie pirates for the next 4 years, freman became the

assistant short order cook at a place called "Wanda's" located in south central

topeka. the job didn't last long, since fremen refused to wash up after

using the bathroom. Often he was heard mumbling " I'll fucking wash my hands....

...when hell freezes over!!¨ So, Fremen hit the road once again, but this

time without the extra baggage of carrying Gordon around in three different suitcases.

He had barely reached the outskirts of Topeka, when fate intervened, giving Fremen

an evil idea. Thinking that no one was watching, Fremen pulled down his

sun visor, whipped out a pencil, and stuck it firmly, yet squarely into

a slightly skeevy Ho-Ho™ that had been rattling around in his battered, yet

beaten '56 chevy that housed 69 kilos of the finest B.C. bud that

ever crossed the border.
It was to be sold to wasted college kids

that use daddy's tuition money to buy drugs and fritos, but more middle-aged.......

...snack foods collided in the glove compartment forming a crude DNA strand which...

tightened all the barriers that binds this plane of existence with the one

that bundy seems to think is the way to go,while he ingests

remnants of flymans pork chop dinner. Meanwhile, three of the wasted college students

paddyjoe,splck and vermin,were watching as Fremen inserted a large,unidentifiable object

into flyman to make him appear alert and maybe even a little bit

stable, at least enough to where the doctors couldn't tell if he was

male or female. "Damn", uttered flyman, "I've been like this all my life,

i usually just tuck my old fella up and under,¨ explained Flyman. He

read somewhere that things are not always what they seem. But this time

he could not be stopped. He was like a madman - a man possessed.

Possessed like Ralph Macchio, the karate kid he is. Everything was fine until he..

pulled that fucker out and started to strike people in the face just..

because he could. "This phony phallus is just what I need to become

more like mr. miyagi. wax on, wax off. now for the oral sex."

Reaching down, he suddenly stopped and listened intently - what was that he thought ...

him anyway and was just taking the piss and waiting for something better

to fly up his ass. Not that he would enjoy that or anything...

, but "Come on", he thought, " It's always like this when I get whacked

off in summertime, with a lemonaid in one hand and a gun