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Q: How do you get a stamp to stick to an envelope?
A: Because I said so. |
Q: Why is the sky blue?
A: Green, yellow, a duck, and cottage cheese |
Q. What color is your car? And what's gonna be at the orgy at Bones' house?
A. Splick. |
Q. Can you spell that again?
A. Not guilty. |
Q:What did OJ plead!?
A:I jumped into my ceiling fan. |
Q: What the hell happened to your hair?
A: He said it wouldn't hurt. |
Q: Why in the world would you agree to do that?
A: It sounded like fun. |
Q: If the word was "bun", what would you say it sounded like?
A: Tomatoes, but never, ever again. |
Q: What did you grow in your garden this year?
A: The produce section at SuperTarget. |
Q: Where did you find your girlfriend?
A: One behind me, one in front of me, and two just waiting around... |
Q: what is a circle jerk?
A: alaman left with your partner... |
Q: Knock knock (who's there?) Alaman (Alaman who?)...
A: Three times clockwise, but only twice anti-clockwise. |
Q: What kind of spin-cycle happens to a watch if it's in the dryer?
A: You're getting way too personal, but you can stay a little longer. |
Q: I'd love to stay and... check out your underwear drawer. May I?
A: Well it contains potatoes of course, beef slices, chocolate, sardines, watermelon and cucumbers, all mixed together. |
Q: Name a well-balanced meal you can make in a blender.
A: The air-speed velocity of a fully-laden swallow. |
Q: What kind of speed would you say that your ejaculate typically has?
A: Not really, but I wouldn't go in there for a few minutes... |
Q: Do you think they're all right?
A: It combusts spontaneously. |
Q: Why won't you go down on me?
A: It's a little chilly, my lips are practically blue! |
(Understanding fails me again)
Q: Where did you get that weird lipstick? A: I need to go out and get some fresh air. |
Q: Where are you going?
A: Off to see the wizard! |
Q: What's with all the skipping and singing?
A: My shoes don't fit right. |
Q: Why are you in my stilettos?
A: Short. |
Q: The basis of profit is shipping ______.
A: Satisfying your customers. |
Q: As a stripper, you make your living by almost, but not quite, ________________.
A: Removing your clothing. |
Q: What's the most efficient way to get naked?
A: Not putting them on in the first place. |
Q: I'm having trouble getting those boxes down, you know, the ones I put up on that high cupboard. Any suggestions?
A: Stilletos might help. |
Q: If you're wanting to make your ass look better ______
A: City-planning failed. |
Q: San Francisco - is there any explanation for it?
A: Doughnuts with jam in them. Yummy! |
Q: How can we make these more fattening?
A: LARD! |
Q: The Los Angeles Rimming Department - sounds familiar... I'm sure there's an acronym to go with it somewhere.
A: Tofu balls. |
Q: What is the most challenging geometric shape you can make out of bean-curd?
A: The last line of "The Australian Philosopher's Song", by Monty Python. |
Q: From where do you obtain your principles of life?
A: An unflushed toilet bowl. |
Q: Where would the Tidy-Bowl man feel most uncomfortable?
A: In the belly of the beast. |
The detective asked the Q: So Mr Jonah, where were you at the time?
A: In my bedroom, reading "The Little Prince". |
Q: What have you done with my son? Where is he?
A: Indiana. |
Q: My son is where again?
A:Christmas Tree |
Q: Name the silliest marriage of belief-systems you can.
A: The David of Sioux Falls. |
Q: Hold on a minute... I thought you mean David as in the sculpture. Which David did you mean?
A: David Hasselhoff, who else?! |
Q: Name a god unto himself.
A: allah ahkbar |
Q: What is Admiral Ackbar's wife's name
A: two unpeeled oranges on tinfoil |
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