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Q:why do you do it doggy style in front of the TV watching hockey night in canada?
A:that's why i'm hungover like a shithouse rat. |
Q: Your sister was going to marry that mortician. Wasn't their wedding last night?
A: 76 |
Q: How many times have you watched Xanadu?
A: People should ask stuff like that. |
Q:What smells like shit?
A:painful rectal itch. |
Q: Could you give me one example of a hemorrhoidal symptom?
A: A big and tasty, humongous fries, and a milk shake. |
Q. Gross man, what had she eaten earlier that day?
A. Because he had his hand stuck in the picklejar. |
Q: Why didn't your friend call me like you said?
A: I downloaded that off the internet! |
Q: How did you get that hideous scar on your face?
A: I was just walking along, minding my own business, when bam! |
Describe the last time you heard a bam!
No! No! Not that! Anything but that! |
Q:you mind if we stuff this rat in your ass?
A:but....i didn't inhale. |
Q: So, be honest for once in your miserable life, what DID you do with that cigar?
A: I was just visiting. |
Q: Didn't you land on go directly to jail, asshole?
A: Orange soda has never made me pee purple |
Q: So, tell me why you prefer orange soda over turpentine?
A: I didn't know bears could do that. |
Why'd you have to screw something as small as a rabbit?
I can't, my hand's stuck. |
Q:When can you help me out without time machine scooter?
A: That question totally busted my nuts. |
Q: Is this the first time you've had your prostate tickled?
A: One down and two to go. |
Q:so have you gotten lucky with any of the wilson triplets?
A:no,no....blow is just a figure of speech. |
Q: What do you mean you didn't want me to blow up the orphange?
A: Not according to my calculations. |
Q: Is your dick bigger than mine?
A: It's actually chocolate. |
Q: Dude, is that shit on your dick?
A: RTFM! |
Q: When all else fails, what do you do?
A: Green side out, brown side in. |
Q. How do you lay sod?
A. Yeah, I got two blue balls on my birthday! |
Q: Did she give you anything special for your birthday? (obvious?)
A: The Moon is a good place to start. |
Q: Where can I find my detachable penis?
A: Derek Jeter |
Q) What was the name of that player that dropped the ball, metaphorically speaking, that played for the Yankees?
A) Shiny side up, please. |
Q:and how do you prefer your naked bottoms sir?
A:well,you didn't tell me it was gonna be a fucking sausage party!!!! |
Q: Why'd you bolt so fast last night?
A: I don't know, but that shit stinks. |
Q: Could this be the lair of the famous Sasquatch?
A: Hey, you know perfectly well that Sunday is scrotum inflation- night. |
Q: Wanna see a movie tonight?
A: a Cat |
Q: What goes good with asparagus?
A: It was never my gun in the first place! |
Q: So I bought you the shells, the scope, and the flak jacket for no reason?<p>A:Hungry Hungry Hippo.
|
Q: What game board in this pile wont fit up your ass?
A: People who sleep with lots of people. |
Q: What is your definition of a "whore hopper"?
A: Sorry, that's not my job. |
Q: Will you please pop this pimple on my back, officer?
A: I used to do that outside. |
Q: Where did you shear your sheep before you got your indoor sheep pen?
A: Somewhere between 40 and 60. |
Q: In kilograms, what is a healthy weight for a 5' 0" woman?
A: Only after my zipper got rusty. |
Q: Have you always been turned on by WD-40?
A: The Fuzz. |
Q: What was that stuff you pulled outta yer navel?
A: It was salty. |
Q: Why did the hypertensive porno-star spit instead of swallow?
A: Two buns in the oven. |
Q: Whats Burning?
A: Just have to rub it lightly. |
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