Realtime Screwing With a Spammer... again - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

KWSN · 04-21-2003, 09:20 AM

Let me just say, that I owe this entire concept to Marco. His entries were a LOT funnier than this one. I'm pretty much just posting this to restart this whole thing. Can you give us some more, marco?

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Bob'
Bob: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hey bob
you: is Brodie there?
Bob: Hey.
Bob: No. Brodie go Bye bye.
you: really.
you: Where is he now?
Bob: On desert wind.
you: ...
you: Do they have liveperson chat there?
Bob: !
Bob: I'm alive.
you: Really.
Bob: !
you: Well damn. I miss Brodie.
Bob: We all miss him.
you: How about Marco, is he there?
Bob: Cherished, was he.
Bob: If I had known one by such a name, then maybe.
you: Hmm...
you: In that case...
you: Is Brodie there?
Bob: Nevertheless, I still ponder.
Bob: What's in the case?
you: ...right
Bob: Screw Brodie! I want to know what's in the case bud.
you: You screwed Brodie?
you: Well, no wonder he doesn't work there anymore
Bob: Don't try to play my game bud.
you: I mean, if I was going to work everyday and getting screwed by some guy named Bob, I'd quit
Bob: Brodie no quit.
you: Ah... so you KILLED him after you raped him
you: I don't blame you... that's the best way to assure they won't talk
Brodie: Hey dude!
Brodie: It's me...
Brodie: Brodie bro!
you: Hey Brodie!
Brodie: Hey man!
you: I think that you should stay away from Bob
Brodie: What's goin on yo?
you: He's trying to screw you
you: then dismember you and put the pieces in a case
Brodie: Cool man.
Brodie: Bitchen!
you: Uhh... I don't consider getting assraped by a guy, then killed and cut into pieces "cool"
you: But, if that's your thing...
Brodie: I respect that, brotherman!
Brodie: word.
you: Uhh... right
you: Different strokes for different folks, I guess
Brodie: So wudup?
you: Oh, not much
Brodie: word.
you: is marco around?
Brodie: Um, yeah.
you: Really...
you: Is he trying to screw you too?
Brodie: Um, yeah.
Brodie: word.
you: So...
you: how do Bob and Marco go about screwing you at the same time?
Brodie: Special case.
you: uhh...
you: ok...
Brodie: Let me splain.
Brodie: Le me splain.
you: I'm not sure I actually want to hear his explanation, but go ahead
Brodie: First they take me out to dinner...
Brodie: Wine and dine me, ya' knowwhatImsayin.
Brodie: Then the roller rink.
you: right, right.
you: ah... so it's like your typical gay porno
Brodie: Then Vegas for an all nighter till the dawn.
you: That still doesn't explain how they both screw you at once
Brodie: Then I soak em up like a sponge.
Brodie: I'm a special case.
Bob: This is boring.
you: By a special case, go you mean you have an asshole with a radius of 10 inches?
you: Where the hell did you come from, Bob?
Bob: What?
you: I was talking to Brodie!
Bob: My mom.
you: ...
Bob: Brodie go bye bye.
you: Oh, so you finished with him.
you: You're a sick bastard, bob
you: you and marco both
Bob: I'm feeling pretty good, and I have a father.
you: You shouldn't be feeling good
you: God hates your kind
you: There's a part in the bible about it
Bob: You don't know me.
you: Thou shalt not gangrape and dismember guys named brodie
Bob: Bible means book, bud.
Bob: Huh?
you: It's one of the commandments!
Bob: Is that your personal bible?
you: No... it's the new testament
you: but I guess you don't read the bible
you: Satanist
Bob: How new?
you: Why would you care
Bob: As of April 21st?
Bob: 2003?
you: You just burn Bibles anyway
Bob: Are you being rhetorical?
Bob: You don't know me bud.
you: No
you: But I can tell
Bob: Stop reading the dictionary.
you: you're a gang-raping satan-worshipper
Bob: How eloquent.
you: I refuse to talk to you anymore... you sick fuck
Bob: Late.
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

qpid · 04-21-2003, 09:24 AM

i seem to have forgotten the site url

zmbabwe · 04-21-2003, 10:17 AM

what was that taken from?

KWSN · 04-21-2003, 10:26 AM

www.wellquestintl.com

The background:

There's a "LivePerson" customer chat there. Marcopolo, when he was spammed by the company, went to the LivePerson chat and made the peoples' lives a living hell.

This one here was one that I just did. Not NEARLY as funny as marco's.

zmbabwe · 04-21-2003, 10:26 AM

wow, I gotta try that, thanks.

24747 · 04-22-2003, 06:37 AM

I have the entire text to the thread if anyone want's me to repost it.

ironman · 04-22-2003, 03:37 PM

repost it 24747

spectre · 04-22-2003, 03:48 PM

This was one of my favorite threads on v3 of the tfp.

Zello · 04-22-2003, 04:27 PM

This thread back on V3 rocked. Love to see some new material hehe

cchris · 04-30-2003, 08:42 AM

OK,I hope no-one minds if I repost the whole box and dice from the old site.It is without the posters names but you all know who you are.

Thanks for creating this Marco.

PART ONE:

Realtime Screwing with a spammer
Got this in my mail today so I thought I would check it out .

Bloussant - The all-natural breast enhancement - gradually augment the size and shape of your breasts using a formula that promotes a healthy transformation. With Bloussant breast enhancement, adding inches to your bust is now a less expensive alternative to costly surgery.

Bloussant offers a non-surgical solution to attaining fuller, firmer breasts with the help of a balanced combination of safe, all-natural ingredients. This formula helps you look and feel your best and delivers beautiful results in just weeks.

Guaranteed for 60 days!

Chat with Brodie now on LIVE PERSON
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Brodie'
Brodie: Welcome to Wellquest International,
how can I help you?
you: Can bloosant really make my tits bigger ?
Brodie: yes
you: How does it work ?
Brodie: Bloussant's formula reactivates
women's natural growth hormones as they were
in puberty. Once the teenage years are over,
unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated,
the breasts will not enlarge any further. The
exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the
prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
Brodie: Bloussant comes in tablets. You take
just two in the morning and two at night each
day.
you: Will it help me get laid ?
Brodie: that has nothing to do with tihs product
you: Does too
Brodie: really and what would that be?
you: If I had bigger tits that makes my chances
of getting laid better, right?
Brodie: well then you have answered your own
question
you: Does it work on a penis too ?
Brodie: NO
you: Why not ?
Brodie: Bloussant's formula reactivates
women's natural growth hormones as they were
in puberty. Once the teenage years are over,
unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated,
the breasts will not enlarge any further. The
exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the
prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: Oh stop with the automated responses.
Wanna screw?
Brodie: no
you: Are you a lesbian ?
Brodie: no I am a man
you: Cool , I'm gay . A/S/L ?
Brodie: What is A/S/L?
you: Age/sex/location but I already know your
sex
Brodie: so wouldn't that be A/L
you: True, I didn't properly introduce myself. My
name is marcopolo
Brodie: Don't you have anything better to do
with your pathetic time?
you: Not really, you emailed me first
Brodie: did you buy our product?
you: Like I buy spam
Brodie: there are actually certain sites for
people like you
you: What sites are those?
Brodie: would you like to leave freely or get
booted buy me?
Brodie: GOODBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you: You spelled bye wrong.
you: Do you get payed for this shit?
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

I don't think Brodie likes me .

Imma go for round 2 . What should I ask this time ?

Dammit , he hung up on me again .

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Brodie'
Brodie: Welcome to Wellquest International,
how can I help you?
you: You hung up on me .
Brodie: What product are you referring to?
you: Cut it out Brodie , you never told me the
sites that are for people like me .
Brodie: sorry guy
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

Jeez ... I must be one butt-ugly woman !

Round 3 ?

Just can't take a joke .

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Brodie'
you: Hi Brodie !
Brodie: Hello, how can I help you?
you: You can start by giving me the sites that
are for people like me .
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

A new guy is on there named Jay :

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Jay'
Jay: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hi may I speak to " Brodie "?
Jay: excuse me?
you: I was just talking to brodie a minute ago on here .
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

Well Jay is no fun .

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
All operators are currently assisting others.
Thanks for your patience. An operator will be
with you shortly.
All operators are currently assisting others.
Thanks for your patience. An operator will be
with you shortly.
You are now chatting with 'Jay'
Jay: Welcome to Wellquest International, how
can I help you?
you: Hi Jay, is Brodie around ?
Jay: there is no brodie here
you: Did he get fired already ?
Jay: I am not sure what you are talking about
you: Sorry, I was mind gasping. Is marcopolo
there ?
Jay: there is no marcopolo here either
you: Do you get to surf for porn at work ? Any
good links for people like me ?
Jay: no
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

Well maybe one more time ...

Eugene is no fun at all :

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'eugene'
you: What kind of hot sauce is the best for
buffalo wings ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

Maybe I can get brodie again ...

OK , I think they caught on to me ...

Spiderman: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Is anyone there ?
you: Hello ?
you: I have a question about bloussant
Spiderman: Yes...???
you: What does it do for my breasts ?
Spiderman: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: Will it work for me , if I'm past 40 ?
you: I'm past menopause
Spiderman: There are no age limits with Bloussant
you: actually, one of my tits is a little cock-eyed. Will bloussant help straighten it back?
you: it points up and to the left
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
You are not currently in a chat session.

Call me a glutton for punishment but I have to go in ONE MORE TIME !

I think Michelle likes me ...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Michelle'
Michelle: Welcome to Wellquest International,
how can I help you?
you: Hi Michelle
you: What's this blowfant stuff?
Michelle: Bloussant is an all natural, 100%
natural herbal breast enhancement system that
is quickly becoming the number one alternative
to costly and potentially dangerous breast
enhancement surgery. With Bloussant it's
possible to increase your bust up to two full cup
sizes and you'll have a much firmer feel. Best of
all it's completely safe and natural!
you: I spelled it wrong, sorry, it works?
Michelle: Yes Bloussant does work
you: Exactly how does it work?
Michelle: Bloussant's formula reactivates
women's natural growth hormones as they were
in puberty. Once the teenage years are over,
unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated,
the breasts will not enlarge any further. The
exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the
prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: Have you tried it ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

Alright , I must find out if Michelle's tiities are bigger because of blowfant !

OK , I went back hoping they would forget who I was ...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Donna'
Donna: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: hello?
Donna: yes
you: I have a few Qs about your stuff
Donna: ok
you: I had a baby 2 months ago and am still nursing . Can I use blousant to make my breasts as big as they were when I was pregnant ?
Donna: As long as you are not presently breastfeeding or pregnant
you: presently as in right now?
Donna: yes
you: cause I'm not now but will in a few hours, is that okay ?
Donna: Bloussant comes in capsules. You take just two in the morning and two at night each day.
Donna: what?
you: and I can nurse in between ?
you: my kid's a big eater
Donna: What exactly is your question?
you: can I take your product even though I am still nursing?
Donna: no
you: what about later?
Donna: Iwould recommend with any health questions like that, you take the pills with you to your doctor's office and have him monitor your use of it.
you: okay - do you have anything to help sore nipples?
you: some cream or something?
Donna: no
you: last Q - will stretchaway get rid of these ugly stretch marks?
you: my husbands says I look like a wringled brown bag
you: he's an insensitive pig
Donna: Stretchaway is a cream not a cover-up. Apply Stretchaway twice a day for three weeks or longer depending on severity and you'll be amazed as the stretchmarks vanish. After that, taper off to once a day or once every other day to keep your skin looking great.
Donna: Stretchaway is 100% natural with no reported side effects
Donna: We have a 30 day money back guarantee with Stretchaway that is legal bonding. If you are unsatisfied with the product for any reason, simply return the unused portion within 30 days for a full product refund.
you: is that a yes?
you: what does legal bonding mean?
Donna: It mean there is no way we could break that contract unless you pass the 30 day clause.
you: don't you mean "legally binding?"
you: hello?
Donna: I'm sorry I am not the one who makes the script.
you: stupid lawyers
you: my husband is a lawyer
Donna: ok
you: since you don't sell one, can you recommend a cream for sore nipples ?
Donna: no
you: coca butter doesn't work for shit
you: any body else there know of something I can use?
Donna: no
you: what about you ? do you ever get sore nipples ?
Donna: no
you: you're lucky! take my advice and if you have kids, DON'T NURSE!
Donna: I'm going to go ahead and let you go since you do not have anymore serious questions about our products.
you: I thought you were looking up an answer
Donna: So did you have any other serious questions?
you: yes I do but you don't seem to care - what makes you think you can treat a new mother like this?
Donna: Like what, I am just trying to keep this conversation going.
you: like being rude and talking to your other operator friends about me
Donna: what?
you: i hope you're all getting a good laugh at my expense
you: I have a serious sore nipple problem and you think it's a joke
Donna: I'm sorry if you have gotten the wrong idea.
you: it's not your fault - I'm just so emotional right now
you: can you check one last time for nipple cream ?
Donna: I already told you I cannot help you, but if you have any other questions about our products I'll stay on with you.
you: the little fart is crying his head off which means he needs to nurse again - i don't think I can take this
you: wish me luck ...
Donna: Good luck
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Shortly after I ran into Dirk :

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Dirk '
you: Hello!
Dirk : Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
Dirk : hi
you: Do you have Grey Poupon?
Dirk : no but we do have ener-x
Dirk : would you like some
you: Hmm. Ener-x, eh?
Dirk : ?
Dirk : ya
you: Does that give the hard-on that Grey Poupon does?
Dirk : good stuff
you: I see.
you: Hmm.
you: I'll look into that. I need to switch brands.
Dirk : Ener-X is a combination of twelve natural herbs, each one targeted for a different aspect of sexual performance. It is an all herbal solution for increasing your sex drive and performance. It not only gives you more energy in your daily life, it will give you more sexual energy and desire and firmer longer lasting erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural and is becoming the #1 alternative to dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra.
you: But, is it edible?
Dirk : its a pill so i hope so
you: Hmm. I was hoping it was a "rub on" thing.
you: For, uh, foreplay purposes.
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
You are not currently in a chat session.
Dirk does not play well with others ...

They take a lickin '

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
All operators are currently assisting others.
Thanks for your patience. An operator will be
with you shortly.
All operators are currently assisting others.
Thanks for your patience. An operator will be
with you shortly.
You are now chatting with 'Lance'
Lance: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hi, is Brodie around ?
Lance: no
you: He just gave me advice about premature
ejaculation and sent me here .
Lance: Ener-X comes in tablets. You take 2 a
day, one in the morning and one at night. You'll
begin to feel an energy boost in 2-3 days. It
takes about 2-3 weeks for the product to build
up enough in your system to recieve the full
sexual benefits.
Lance: Ener-X is a combination of twelve
natural herbs, each one targeted for a different
aspect of sexual performance. It is an all herbal
solution for increasing your sex drive and
performance. It not only gives you more energy
in your daily life, it will give you more sexual
energy and desire and firmer longer lasting
erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural
and is becoming the #1 alternative to
dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra.
you: I'm kinda overwieght too
Lance: http://www.wellquestintl.com
you: Cool, thanks, Lance
Lance: No problem, if you need any more
assistance, I?ll be here!
you: My wife is having a vaginal problem . Any
good sites for that ?
Lance: no
Lance: Ener-X for Women is a special sexual
enhancement formula designed for women.
This all natural supplement is designed with
special herbs to arouse women. Dong Quai is
referred to as the "female Ginseng", with
hormone like actions. Korean Ginseng handles
stress (mental and physical) and is known as
the "sexual rejuvenator." Combined with natural
aphrodisiacs, she will have greater sexual drive
to match your increased desire. Combined with
natural aphrodisiacs, Ener-X for Women
provides women with a greater sexual drive
and increased desire.
you: Have you seen Episode 2 of Star Wars ?
Lance: no
you: It beats Return of the Phantom
Lance: ok
Lance: no
Lance: Bye!
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

I'm wondering if all these people are one ?

OK last one , they're getting to easy ...

Weenie
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Spider-Man2'
Spider-Man2: Welcome to Wellquest
International, how can I help you?
you: Does Blowcunt cause cancer?
Spider-Man2: no
you: Do you have proof?
Spider-Man2: For questions regarding clinical
studies, you can fax in a request at (213)
212-1518. However, we monitored an
independent CLINICAL STUDY of the
Bloussant which showed that of all the women
tested the smallest increase in two months was
.88 of a cup size (90% of one cup) and the
largest increase was 2.66 cup sizes or 2 2/3
cups. The average of all women tested in the
Independent Clinical Study was a 1.77 increase
or 1 3/4 cup sizes in two months. This was a
controlled test with the women taking two
capsules twice a day. This is the key. You must
remember to take two Bloussant capsules
twice a day, every day to see proper results.
you: Auto reply Spider
you: Is Michelle around?
Spider-Man2: you like those don't you
you: Those what?
Spider-Man2: auto replies
you: They are old. Shows no originality.
Spider-Man2: We accpet payments in the
form of any Mastercard, Visa or Discover credit
card, by using a Atm/Debit card (that has a
Visa or Mastercard logo on it), by E-Check
from your checking account or by mailing in a
money order. We do not accept C.O.D's
you: Do you accept paypal?
Spider-Man2: In a double-blind study, better
than 80% of the women in the controlled study
saw inprovement in the first two weeks.
According to the study, all women saw results
from the smallest increase of .88 of one cup
size, and the largest increase of 2.66 cup sizes.
So the Average increase in the study was 1.77
cup sizes. The key to seeing positive results is
to take two pills in the morning and two pills at
evening/night.
you: Ok, how about a bad check?
Spider-Man2: We accpet payments in the
form of any Mastercard, Visa or Discover credit
card, by using a Atm/Debit card (that has a
Visa or Mastercard logo on it), by E-Check
from your checking account or by mailing in a
money order. We do not accept C.O.D's
you: Is Michelle still there? She sounded kinda
interested in doing anal
Spider-Man2: I'm glad you brought that up,
many of our customers want to discuss it with
their other half, however, what most people do
is get the product and go through the product
information together. In most cases they make
a decision to use it over the guarantee period,
putting the product to the test themselves. This
way the decision is made by how you feel, if it
works like it's suppose to I'm sure you'd agree
it's worth the money, right? If for any reason you
are unsatisfied, you can always send the
unused portion back for our risk-free money
back guarantee.
you: Your screwing her in right now,
aren';t you?
Spider-Man2: What product are you referring
to?
you: The boobfont one
you: Are still there or did you suffer a massive
heart attact ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site
operator.

I only wished that I asked ;" Do your testing lab rats get stuck in their mazes, what with their size 36DD racks ?"

Whew ! I feel MUCH better now . WAIT ! I spy with my little eye MORE SPAM ! I hope they have a chat line

Did I say 5 minutes? More like 10 seconds.
I guess Sam doesn't like the younguns'

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Sam'
Sam: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: hi sam!
you: i was curious about this product
Sam: Which product are you referring to?
you: umm, the boob one
Sam: Are you talking about Bloussant?
you: yeah!
you: sorry, forgot how to spell it
Sam: What would you like to know?
you: well, i was wondering if it was something i needed. i'm 5-1 and i have a 36C, but my boyfriend likes this other girl with bigger boobs, so i was thinking about making mine bigger
Sam: Have you explored any other options in breast enhancement?
you: do you think if i wait then mine will get bigger? i'm only 13
you: my boyfriend always looks at Kristen but i don't want him to and i thought maybe this would make him stop
you: what do you think?
Sam: There are hormones in your breast that have not fully matured yet...These hormones don't become fully mature until at least 18
you: but i don't want to have to wait that long
you: won't this make those hormones things work faster?
Sam: None of our products can be sold to you anyway....You have to be at least 18 to purchase any of them
you: i think i'm old enuf, though. there's grass on the field if you get my drift
you: hehe
Sam: I understand however I'm really not suppose to be having this conversation with you ...so I will actually have to end this now
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Pat'
Pat: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: hi Pat can I have some info about your products.
you: does an enhanced breast size mean more milk yield?
Pat: no
Pat: We do not recommend using Bloussant while pregnant or breastfeeding.
you: who said anything about pregnancy and breast feeding. i want to use it on my cows
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Damn , Elsie's Milk yield has not been up ta' par .

cchris · 04-30-2003, 08:50 AM

PART TWO:
Donna really is good-natured .

"Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Donna'
Donna: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I
help you?
you: Hey, I got cut off!
you: What happened?
you: I was asking you about Enersex.
you: And you were saying something about the effects
being temporary.
you: And then I asked you about the cheapest diet
formulae to use and then the screen froze!
you: Did I say something bad?
Donna: No
Donna: I dont know how you got cut off
you: Oh, well that's a relief .
you: But what's the cheapest formula that you have ?
you: And if I take the erection pills or cream or whatever
and then go off and then go back on and then change my
mind and then go off, am I going to look like the
Hindenburg crashing all the time when I want sex ?
you: Because it's like with breast implants - I don't want
to mess with any sensitive tissues !
Donna: With concerns such as those, we recommend
taking the pills to your doctor and having him or her
monitor your use on it
you: But I thought these pills were already tested and are
perfectly safe! Why do I need my doctor to help me ?
you: You have your doubts as to how safe these pills are,
don't you .
Donna: Ener-X needs to be at sufficient levels in your
system to provide you with it's powerful sexual benefits.
Once you stop taking Ener-X, it is quickly flushed out of
your system.
you: I'll bet you call them all sorts of funny names around
the office, like "Enersex" or "The Miami Vice 24-Hour
Diet" or "Retchaway", huh?
Donna: You have been on this site before havent you ?
you: No!
Donna: All day long
you: I just want to know that you believe in your product
and that you're selling me something safe!
Donna: You love this site!
you: I have these concerns and I want to be sure that I'm
not throwing my money out the window!
Donna: What product are you interested in?
you: And you're making fun of me.
Donna: Never!
you: All of them! I have a lot of self-esteem issues I have
to deal with.
Donna: I am a professional
you: Professional meanie!
you: So when you see "Silence of the Lambs" and you
get to the part when the maniac says " It rubs the lotion
on its skin !", you just laugh and laugh - because it's a pill,
not a lotion .
Donna: I am deeply sorry If I have offended you. I would
be happy to help you out with any serious questios that
you have
you: I have a lot of serious questions.
Donna: I have never seen that movie
Donna: ok, Well start with one and we will work from
there
you: Such as, if my girlfriend is getting
saggy, could I crush up some breast enlargement
formulae so that she'll be a bit firmer
and so that I can finally introduce her to my friends?
you: I mean, mom's beginning to ask questions ...
Donna: Bloussant comes in capsules so you can open
them up and pour the contents into a tea
you: Do they give all the clinical guinea pigs for the
breast and penis creams jobs answering questions like
this?
you: My girlfriend doesn't like tea...oh, unless it's MR. T!
He pities the fool!
you: You sure are good-natured to put up with all this
hokum.
Donna: No, the test subjects stay in the lab
you: Do you have a lot of rats running around, getting
caught in mazes because of their enormous 36DD racks ?
you: You're not doing things like grafting penises onto
manta rays and great white sharks, are you ?
you: Because the last thing you need is for a shark to
bite you and then try to hump you.
Donna: No
Donna: I have to go
Donna: bye
you: Why? I was just becoming informed!
Donna: talk to you later
you: You like The Tubes?
Donna: im going on a break
Donna: later on
you: What are you going to break ?
you: Is marcopolo around ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
You are not currently in a chat session."

This chick wants me bad. It's pretty obvious.

You are now chatting with 'Ashley'
you: hi
you: hello ?
you: Brodie ??
Ashley: How can I help you?
Ashley: He went on his break
you: Good, he's a bastard . how are you ?
Ashley: Fine, you?
you: pretty good. thanks
Ashley: Anytime, how can I help you?
you: Tell me a little bit about this ener-x. I'm asking for a friend of course, my stuff works just fine .
Ashley: Ener-X is a combination of twelve natural herbs, each one targeted for a different aspect of sexual performance. It is an all herbal solution for increasing your sex drive and performance. It not only gives you more energy in your daily life, it will give you more sexual energy and desire and firmer longer lasting erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural and is becoming the #1 alternative to dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra.
you: wow, you type mighty fast , I like that in a woman .
Ashley: Why thank you
you: So, you wanna hook up?
Ashley: I'm sorry, if I weren't at work I would seriously think about it, but since I am at work, I can't
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

I know she wants me NOW !

You are now chatting with 'Ashley'
you: I think we got disconnected. So, what are you wearing ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Ashley'
you: Ashley, I love you . Don't treat me this way ... anal ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Maybe not ...

inspired by marcopolo
Okay marco.... bored at work.... here goes...BTW... I asked for Brodie since you highly recommend him, but Ben didn't know where he was...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Ben'
Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hi Ben
Ben: How can I help you?
you: My friend suggested that I speak with Brodie... says he has some good information about the blowcunt breast enhancer product. Can you put me in contact with him?
Ben: I do not have such a product here sorry
you: don't you sell the breast enhancing product?
Ben: Yes ,it is call BLOUSSANT
you: right right.. sorry... have a hard time remembering the name
you: my friend suggested that I talk to Mr. Brodie, said he was really friendly and knowledgeable, can you put me in contact with him or at least let me know when he's around to help me?
you: I have some questions about the ingredients
Ben: I'm sorry, he is not here right now is there something I can help you with?
you: well it says here there's watercress in the ingredients, I'm allergic to fresh watercress, and I'm wondering if I'll have an allergic reaction to it if it's in capsule form
Ben: Possibly....If you are allergic to watercress I do not suggest taking this product without consulting your doctor first
you: okay
you: also, it says that it increases size without increasing weight. How is that possible? Laws of matter always apply, you know conservation of matter and such, what does it do just fill it up with air?
Ben: These are not water weight pills
you: well then how does it get bigger without adding weight?
Ben: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is re-stimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant re-stimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: right, but when I was a teen I was eating like a MoFo, and I gained weight albeit it was pretty well distributed if you know what I mean... all the curves are in the right places except well you know... my boobs
you: I'm still not understanding how my boobs will get bigger without adding weight to my frame
Ben: These will not cause you to gain any weight anywhere EXCEPT your breast
you: ooh... but your website says,"No. Bloussant does not increase your overall body weight, or cause you to gain additional weight."
you: which is why I figured they would like fill up with air or gas
you: you know.. like balloons
you: since air doesn't have any real "weight"
you: in fact if somehow you guys could get the bloussant product to cause boobs to fill up with helium, wow! you could claim that women could even LOSE weight!!!!
you: think of the millions that would rack up
you: increase breast size AND lose weight
you: so then how do my boobs get bigger without adding weight?
Ben: Because some of the other ingredients (such as the Black Cohosh and the Wild Yam) produce progesterone in the body to balance out your hormones, thus eliminating the room for would-be adverse reactions.
you: so you mean to say, I gain weight in my boobs and then lose weight say in my thighs or butt?
Ben: If you're on a diet plan or somehow losing weight at the time of taking the Bloussant, then yes.
you: but I can't seem to wrap my mind around that fact that I'll get bigger boobs but not gain weight... seems too contradictory
you: my friend's boobs, she's a D cup.. man those things are heavy
Ben: Well, you'd have to see it to believe it, right?
you: I don't wanna get that big.
you: sure. but you're a guy, you don't take the pills yourself do you?
you: do you have pictures to look at? I mean you know.. ones before and after that are naked boobies?
Ben: Not all women will get that big, and not all women want to get that big. That's why you take it until you reach your desired size.
you: oh.. so once i gain a cup size I stop taking it?
you: I'm a B and want to be a C cup
you: so how do I see it to believe it?
Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean?
you: yeah I see what you mean. you guys have before and after pictures like at the doctors office? My doctor, he's got whole binders full of naked boobies to compare. Do you guys have pictures of the testimonal people? those are some hum dingers those pictures
Ben: I am sorry I do not have access to that information at this terminal.
Ben: You need to contact our customer service department.
Ben: Their phone number is 1-800-610-7758. Their hours are Monday through Friday 5:00am to 9:30pm. Pacific Time.
you: you know those strippers with those humungo boob jobs??? he says they can weigh up to 20-30lbs each... can you imagine carrying a backpack of 60lbs everywhere you go?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator

I think Donna has had enough:

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Donna'
Donna: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hi. may I speak to marcopolo please ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
Please wait for a site operator to respond.

Sam I Am ...

You are now chatting with 'Sam'
Sam: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Yeah ... I was wondering about one of your products . the blusenet stuff ?
Sam: what would you like to know?
you: How good does that stuff work ... I mean ... like how big will it make boobs grow and stuff ?
Sam: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
Sam: Bloussant comes in tablets. You take just two in the morning and two at night each day.
Sam: Bloussant comes with a 60 day, no questions asked money back guarantee. If for any reason you are not 100% satisfied with the product, simply return whatever you haven't used within 60 days from the day you receive the product for a full refund of the entire product cost.
you: yeah ... but how big will they get?
you: Cause I don't want them getting too big you know ...
Sam: up to 3 cup sizes
you: What if it goes out of control and my breasts get too big ? Is there any way to make them smaller again ?
Sam: just stop taking it once your satisfied
you: but what if i think maybe i want them real big.. but then after they're really big i want them smaller.. what would i do then?
Sam: Our price for a two month supply of Bloussant is $229.95. We also have some great specials going on right now. When you purchase three months of Bloussant, we give you an additional month Free! That 4 month promotionl would be only $344.95. Our next step up is an 8 month package, which normally runs for $919.80, would be only $629.95. That's a savings of $289! Our best deal is our year supply: It's normally $1379.70, but right now we're running a promotion where is $914.95, and you're actually saving, $464.75. Remember that shipping and handling is already included in the price and you always have that 2 month money back guarantee on all the packages offered.
you: A years supply ? How big would they grow in a year ??
Sam: it all depends on the women
you: So if I took it for 2 months ... maybe nothing would happen ? And then I'd have to order more ?
Sam: most women see results in 2 months
you: Does it not work for everyone ?
Sam: Bloussant does not work for all women, but for most women it works very well providing a significant increase in breast size. Tests show that most women will increase their breast size from one to two cups. For those unfortunate women that Bloussant doesn't work for, our product is guaranteed and the return rate on our product is only about 15%.
you: Unfortunate women? Are you saying there's something wrong with me having small breasts ?
you: because that's what it sounds like ...
Sam: no
you: Sounds like you're sexually harassing me, trying to get me to buy your product ... that's what it sounds like ...
you: Trying to make me feel inferior or something because my breasts are small ... is that it ?
Sam: If you would like you can give us a call at 1-800-991-2854
you: why? so you can insult me some more?
you: Do you eat green eggs and ham ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

I got Ben again.. he didn't want to talk much...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Ben'
Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hey there ben..
Ben: Hello, how can I help you?
you: i'm looking for information about bloussant.
Ben: Are you interested in this product for yourself, or someone else?
you: well...
you: for myself actually
you: but I've been looking all over the internet for testimonials and I can only find the ones on your websites
Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean?
you: er and this one lawyer that's looking for people who have had problems with bloussant
you: really what I'd like to see are before and after pictures.. but topless ones
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator

wow.. Ben really doesn't want to talk to me...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Ben'
Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hey there ben..
Ben: Hello, how can I help you?
you: i'm looking for information about bloussant.
Ben: Are you interested in this product for yourself, or someone else?
you: well...
you: for myself actually
you: but I've been looking all over the internet for testimonials and I can only find the ones on your websites
Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean?
you: er and this one lawyer that's looking for people who have had problems with bloussant
you: really what I'd like to see are before and after pictures.. but topless ones
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator

luck of the draw got Ben again, he thinks he's a hacker....

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Ben'
Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: how come you keep popping up in this window?
you: i just closed the window and here you are again
you: are you stalking me?
Ben: I am sorry I do not have access to that information at this terminal.
Ben: You need to contact our customer service department.
Ben: Their phone number is 1-800-610-7758. Their hours are Monday through Friday 5:00am to 9:30pm. Pacific Time.
you: I'm gonna call the cops if you keep popping up on my windows
Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean?
you: seriously, I'm gonna call the cops and tell them you are harrassing me.
you: I was just reading my email about breast enhancing supplements and you keep popping up on my computer
you: you must be one of those hacker guys from the moives
Ben: Too bad, you have NO PLACE TO RUN, A HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you: well you better not try to steal my credit cards and other information.
you: I got your name buddy
you: yeah. You're Ben. that's right...
you: hah! I know your name...
Ben: Hmm, do you have a discover card?
you: yes why?
Ben: Does it start with 6011? And is it swiped clear on the back?
you: yeah... how do you know that?
Ben: Cuz I stooollee it!!!
Ben: AH, HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!
you: see.. you admit it!
you: i got this recorded
Ben: Yes, and I'd get away with it too, if it wasn't for these pesky kids!
you: pesky kids?
you: i don't have any kids
Ben: You are a kid, and you've got me red handed.
you: i'm not kid. i'm a grown woman
Ben: As an added bonus for ordering today, you become a Wellquest Preferred Buyer and are entitled to discounts and free bonuses. First of all, you are going to receive 1,041 free long distance minutes; that's 1,041 free minutes to use for the next 10 days, for just an activation fee of $1.00. The phone card is from QX Telecom, a long distance provider with possibly the lowest rates in the country. These minutes can be used anytime, day or night, 7 days a week from any phone: home, cell, office, hotel, or wherever. Each month, after the 10-day free trial, you'll receive an additional 1,041 minutes for the incredibly low rate of 3.8 cents per minute. You'll be charged $39.90 plus tax per month plus a $3.90 service fee. If you don't want the service after using the free minutes or want to stop any time in the future, just call the toll free 800 number that comes with your free 1,041 minutes, OK?
you: how do you know my discover card number?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator

Go_AVS · 04-30-2003, 08:56 AM

KWSN - thanks for bringing this back.

Glad the 3.0 version was saved. The bad thing about this thread is it makes me laugh out loud which is not a good thing at work.

but keep it up!!

cchris · 04-30-2003, 08:56 AM

PART THREE:

You are now chatting with 'Jessi'
Jessi: Hello, how can I help you?
you: hi i am interested to know exactly what kind of veins veinish is capable of "eliminating" or "fading away"
Jessi: Spider veins, not vericose veins.
you: you see because i have this vein sticking out of my ass and i occasionaly tuck it back in but the fucker just pops out again... is that a spider vein it hides in a little hole like spiders do sometimes
you: ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
==
You are now chatting with 'Jessi'
Jessi: Hello, how can I help you?
you: hi i just made an inquiry about your "veinish product".
Jessi: ok
you: i have this weird purple little vein that i occasionaly sit on becuase it sticks out of my ass so far... and i usually just go to the bathroom and tuck it in... but now that i see your product i think that there may be hope for me.... do you know what its like to have to leave the room every 10 minutes at a party to tuck in your ass vein? its not fun.... before you talked about "spider veins" i think that is definately what this is becuase this little thing is fuckin nasty must be one of them black widows or something.... please say your product can help me
you: The best thing for you to do would be to cut it off with a box cutter than take a little nap. If vein still bothers you next day simply slit wrists. Thank You!
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Al'
Al: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Do you have case studies regarding public trials of Bloussant ?
Al: For questions regarding clinical studies, you can fax in a request at (213) 212-1518. However, we monitored an independent CLINICAL STUDY of the Bloussant which showed that of all the women tested the smallest increase in two months was .88 of a cup size (90% of one cup) and the largest increase was 2.66 cup sizes or 2 2/3 cups. The average of all women tested in the Independent Clinical Study was a 1.77 increase or 1 3/4 cup sizes in two months. This was a controlled test with the women taking two capsules twice a day. This is the key. You must remember to take two Bloussant capsules twice a day, every day to see proper results.
you: Hmmm , does Bloussant carry liability insurance regarding long term side effects ?
Al: Bloussant is 100% natural, with no reported side effects
Al: Bloussant has been marketed in the U.S. for almost two years now and in Europe for the last 10 years.
you: Opium is 100% natural too and its not healthy . How does Blowchunks work?
Al:?
you: One more question, are there any before and after pictures available for the public to view ... you know, to see real results ?
Al: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: one more question , so , will it work on older broads ?Like my granny ?
Al: your best bet would be bloussant.com
you:Is marcopolo there ? Brodie ?
you: ?
you: Tell Brodie I miss him .
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

It's good to know they still love me !

I think Al and I have bonded .

You are now chatting with 'Al'
you: Brodie It's me, marcopolo .
you: how've you been?
you: You Ok?
you: hello?????????
you: Al?????????????????
Al: yea I guess. Do you ever stop?
you: Nah , you guys spammed me !
Al: please?
you: Wouldn't you get bored then ?
Al: no cause Im working!!!!!!!!!
you: Next time Brodie comes by, tell him marcopolo said "hi"
you: ok?
Al: ok if you stop
you: do you get alot of chicks at this job ?
you: i bet you do
Al: lol
you: is that loads of ladies ?
Al: would you quit already
you: What else have you got to do?
Al: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: what?
you: I have a message for you
you: you aren't going to like it
Al: go away!!!!!!!!!!!
you: should I tell you anyway?
you: your cat died from Bloussant
you: Didn't it have 8 36DD cups ...
you: you'll miss that cat
you: ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator

I hope he tells Brodie ...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Sabastian'
you: HELLO?
Sabastian: Hello, how are you doing today?
you: GOOD, AND YOU?
you: I PROBLEM ERECTION, HOW HELP YOU ME?
Sabastian: I'm good, where are you from?
Sabastian: You have a problem getting an erection? Is that correct?
you: HELLO?
you: YES, I PROBLEM ERECTION, HOW HELP YOU ME?
Sabastian: Yes...
Sabastian: I'm here..
Sabastian: We have TriMega...
you: HOW WORK?
you: HOW MUCH COST?
you: HOW MUCH PENIS GROW?
Sabastian: Its a sexual stimulation supplement...It will help you achieve an erection...
you: I GET ERECTION OK, I BLOW FAST, NEED LONG ERECTION
Sabastian: I don't know that...
you: I ALSO SMALL
you: YOU HELP MAKE BIGGER?
Sabastian: You just take one supplement 30 to 60 minutes prior to sexual activity, then you will gain an erection and help you last longer.
you: HOW MUCH GAIN?
you: I WANT GAIN 4 - 5 INCH
Sabastian: Give you firmer, longer lasting erections, and help your stamina...
Sabastian: This will increase your erection, however I don't know how much.
you: WHY NO KNOW MUCH? YOU WORK HERE?
Sabastian: You said you had a problem achieving and erection....Thats what we are going to help you with....Getting hard...Not increasing the size...
Sabastian: THIS DOESN'T MAKE IT A LOT LARGER......IT HELPS YOU GET HARD, AND LAST LONGER...
you: I WANT LONGER TIME AND LONGER TOO
you: AROUND I'M GOOD, LONG I NEED MORE
you: JUST LONGER, NOT FATTER
Sabastian: I didn't ask that....
Sabastian: This makes your erections LAST longer....and helps you perform...
you: OK
you: AND
you: HOW MUCH LONGER?
Sabastian: In the study done, it showed that the average male lasted for up to 5.8 hours...
you: 5.8 HOURS HARD? THAT LONG TIME, HOW MUCH LONGER TOO?
Sabastian: How much longer what?
you: HOW MUCH LONGER PENIS GET???
Sabastian: I TOLD YOU THAT...
Sabastian: I DON'T KNOW...
you: I TOO SHORT, I NEED LONGER
you: NOT FATTER, OR NOT FIT IN HOLE
Sabastian: This increases the time the erection is maintained, not the size...
you: HOW NOT KNOW??? YOU WORK HERE?
you: YOU SAY INCREASE SIZE TOO BEFORE
you: Sabastian: This will increase your erection
Sabastian: Yes....but that's not what is meant for....
you: I WANT FOR THAT TOO
Sabastian: The Clinical study didn't show how much the erection was increased.
you: I TALK DONNA PLEASE?
you: DONNA WORK TODAY?
Sabastian: This increases the flow of blood to the penis, therefore longer lasting erection.
Sabastian: No, Donna not here....
you: I WANT 3 - 4" LONGER TOO
you: BRODIE WORK TODAY?
Sabastian: I know that...you told me that...
you: HOW MUCH COST?
Sabastian: Two month supply is $109.90...or 4 month supply is $169.90.
Sabastian: Comes with a 30 day money-back guarantee.
you: HOW MUCH FOR 5 INCH SUPPLY? I PAY MORE THAT
Sabastian: Bye bye
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Brodie's not here ...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Sabastian'
Sabastian: hello and how are you doing today?
Sabastian: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hola
you: Spanish?
Sabastian: SI
Sabastian: Puedo tratar.
you: SI
you: I cant talk spanish sorry
Sabastian: what?
you: Do you speak English
Sabastian: Yes, how can I help you?
you: Why are you Swearing at me
Sabastian: I did not swear to you.
you: I dont like that kind of talk
Sabastian: Oh I thought you did
you: Is Brodie around ?
you: Or marcopolo ?
Sabastian: Do you have any questions about our products?
you: Yes
you: I have A Question about The Miami Vice 48 Hr Diet .
you: Whats in it
you: ?
Sabastian: I'm sorry, if you have a serious questions I would be happy to help you.
Sabastian: Purified water, High fructose corn syrup, Orange juice concentrate, natural and artificial flavors, Citric acid, Apple juice concentrate, Grape juice concentrate, Pinapple juice concentrate, Lemon juice concentrate, Potassium sorbate, Sodium benzoate, cocoa, Guarana extract, Siberian ginseng, Kava Kava extract, Calcium panthothenate, Yellow #6, DI Alpha tocopheryl acetate, Niacinamide, Vitamin A palmitate, Pyrodoxine HCL, Choiecaiciferol, Bilberry extract, Green tea extract, Ginko Biloba extract, Grape seed extract, Riboflavin 5 phosphate, Thiamin Monotrate, Gotu kola, Folic acid, Biotin and Gyanocobalamin
you: Whats in the Miami Vice 48 hour Diet
you: Do i have to live in a house boat to use it ?
Sabastian: no
you: Hmm good
you: Does It have pictures of missing kids on it ?
you: I cant drink it if it does
you: Those poor Kids staring back at me freaks me out
Sabastian: Like I said before, I would be happy to help you if you have any serious questions about our product .
you: HAve you used it?
Sabastian: The 48 hour diet?
you: Yes . Have you used the 48hr Diet
you: I would like to talk to someone who has
Sabastian: No
you: Is Brodie there ?
you: I bet he has
Sabastian: There is no one around right now who has personally used it.
Sabastian: No, there is no Brodie here.
you: Ive talked to him before about the O stufff
Sabastian: Did you have any other serious questions?
you: HE was very helpful
you: Yes do you know much about the O stuff
Sabastian: Didn't you say Brodie already helped you?
you: IS there Manhattan a 47 1/2 Hour diet ?
Sabastian: no
you: Well he did but . But I have more Questions
you: What places can the O cream be applied
Sabastian: specifc questions- go right ahead
you: What places can the O cream Be appied to
you: ?
you: Subasstian: ?
you: Are you checking it out for me
Sabastian: When applied, the active ingredients stimulate the tissue surfaces, resulting in increased blood flow and dilation of the blood vessels in the clitoral area.
you: Have you used it?
Sabastian: no
you: But it sounds like fun
Sabastian: ok
Sabastian: Anything else?
you: Could it be used in the Rectum?
you: Or the back of my Girlfriends throat
you: ?
you: I wouldnt want to do anything wrong
Sabastian: Rectum is fine, just not the eye.
you: So a facial with it would be bad
you: " Rectum " damn near killed him !
you: sorry
you: Subasstian ?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Sabastian'
Sabastian: hello and how are you doing today?
you: hi I think we got cut off
you: I was asking you about hyaluronic acid
you: and you never responded
Sabastian: im trying to find out what it does
you: oh so you don't know?
you: thats all you have to say
you: but if you don't know what it does then why are you telling me about how it will make my lips bigger?
you: do you know this for a fact?
you: FYI -- Hyaluronic acid (Hyaluronan, HA), is a linear polysaccharide composed of repeating disaccharide units of N-acetyl-glucosamine and D-glucuronic acid.
you: Until recently however, HA was considered to be an inert space filler that fulfilled only mechanical roles in the human body. This situation has radically changed since HA has been demonstrated to interact specifically with endogenous receptors such as CD 44, RHAMM, ICAM-1 and to modulate acute and chronic inflammation processes both in animals and human beings. Thus, depending on the condition of use and field of application, this substance can be considered either as a drug exerting long-term pharmacological effect or as a medical device, when its activity relies only on a pure mechanical effect due to its viscoelastic properties.
you: so incase anybody asks now you know what it does
you: back to this eurolipsque?
you: isn't that what it's called?
Sabastian: yes
you: well it help me give better oral sex to my partner?
Sabastian: if your partner likes bigger lips
you: how would I know that?
Sabastian: ask your partner
you: when I say partner I mean the indefinate article partner
you: so it's impossible to ask
you: I mean in general, will it help me give better oral sex?
Sabastian: i dont know
Sabastian: but is that what your looking for
Sabastian: ?
you: would YOU be more likely to allow me to give you oral sex if I used this product?
you: yes I am looking to give better oral sex
Sabastian: well if i saw a woman with full and beatiful lips i would think the oral sex would be better
you: but I'm not a woman
you: what if you saw a man with full and beautiful lips?
you: would you think the oral sex would be better?
you: are you there sabastion?
you: answer the question sabastion?
you: would you think a man who posses full sexy lips would give you better oral sex?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
All operators are currently assisting others. Thanks for your patience. An operator will be with you shortly.
You are now chatting with 'Sabastian'
you: Sabastion, why did you disconect me? I am asking a serious question about your products; do you not care about my buisness?
Sabastian: hello and how are you doing today?
Sabastian: i do care about you buisness
you: or do you find the subject of homosexuality uncomfortable, does your company have a policy against serving homosexuals?
Sabastian: if your a serious you can call us at (800) 610 7758
you: we have a right to use personal health products
Sabastian: i dont have a problem with homosexuality
you: why can't I use the chat like everybody else?
Sabastian: you can
you: then why are you telling me to call the 800 number?
Sabastian: to order the product
Sabastian: that is our # here
you: but you havent finished answering my questions about it
Sabastian: well when you call you can ask our operator
you: I'm asking you
you: I don't have a telephone
you: to many telemarketers
you: I use the internet for everything
Sabastian: well our product comes with a 30 day money back guarantee if you find that men are not attracted to you lips you can send it back for a full product refund
Sabastian: that is fine
you: but I wanted to know, if you saw a man with big full lips would you assume he gave good oral sex? it's a personal question, and if you cared about your products you wouldnt be embarrased to answer it
Sabastian: im here to talk about our products and answer customers questions about our products im not obligated to answer any personal questions about my self.
you: it's not a personal question about yourself, I'm asking your oppinion of the product. if you sell the product you must have an opinion of it..
you: do you find guys who use the product more sexy than guys who don't use the product?
Sabastian: that is totally up to you
you: it is quite concieted of you to assume the question is about you, I am only interested in the product
Sabastian: the product is for you
you: I'm just asking the opinion of the salesperson.
Sabastian: you said it was a personal question
you: are you not allowed to say you like or dislike the product?
Sabastian: Visitor: but I wanted to know, if you saw a man with big full lips would you assume he gave good oral sex? it's a personal question, and if you cared about your products you wouldnt be embarrased to answer it
Sabastian: yes
Sabastian: but i dont dislike it
you: I didnt mean it was personal as in personal to you.. I meant persnal as in I personaly care about it
you: so you like it?
you: the product that is? you think the product works?
Sabastian: yes i do
Sabastian: yes and it does
you: So you think a woman using the product would have full sexier lips than a woman not using the product?
you: because thats what the product claims to do
you: I've been on here with you 40 minutes and I still don't have an answer
Sabastian: the product is for people that want bigger fuller sexier lips
Sabastian: and for the people that order the product thats what its going to do for them
Sabastian: now do you still want to order the product?
you: I dont know if I want to order the product
you: I want to give better oral sex
you: and since earlier you said a woman using the product would lead you to assume that she gave good oral sex; I assume this would also apply to a man using the product?
you: or is this product not for men?
Sabastian: men can use it too
you: so you would assume I gave better oral sex if I was using the product?
Sabastian: yes and thats what you want right?
you: yes, I want to give you better oral sex
you: do you like oral sex?
you: I'm sorry that was a personal question
Sabastian: this is the product that you want to help you achieve your goal right?
you: let me ask you this?
you: why are you e-mailing me information about your products I never requested?
Sabastian: im not e-mailing you stuff
you: your company is
you: thats how I got this link
you: your company seems to like to waste my time and bandwidth; is it pleased that I have done the same?
you: and I also seem to have got you out of the closet at the same time
you: if I give you oral sex will your company stop sending me e-mails?
you: and how could I even trust a company that is "legally bonded" to do something..
you: are you just making up words for my comfort?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Arnel'
Arnel: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: can bloussant really make my tits bigger?
Arnel: yes
you: how does it work?
Arnel: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is re-stimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant re-stimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: will it help me get laid?
you: ?
you: if my tits are bigger, will that make me more attractive to men?
Arnel: it will make your breast bigger
you: are you a man?
Arnel: men are attracted to woman with bigger breast
Arnel: yes i am a male
you: do you like big titties?
you: will it work on my boyfriends penis, too?
Arnel: its not the most important thing it kind of a added bonus i look for other qualities but initially that would get me turning your way
Arnel: no
you: why not?
Arnel: its not designed for penis enlargement its designed for woman's breast
you: does it come in a cream, so i can rub it on?
Arnel: Bloussant comes in capsules. You take just two in the morning and two at night each day.
you: can i order with my daddy's credit card?
you: does it come in a plain package?
you: i don't want him to know i'm getting it.
Arnel: if you have permission
you: since my breasts are still growing own their own (i'm 14), will this make them grow faster, and bigger, that just by themselves?
Arnel: You need to be at least 18 years old to purchase Bloussant. However, we generally recommend waiting until 19 or 20 to ensure that the Prostaglandin is fully developed. There is no upper age limit for Bloussant.
you: but my boyfriend keeps talking to these other girls that have bigger boobies than me! i really don't want to lose him. he's 16. we have sex all the time, but i still catch him talking to other girls with bigger boobies. i just want to make my boobies grow bigger so he'll like me.
Arnel: when then bloussant is the answer
Arnel: ask you dad to get you some
you: i don't think my dad will go for it.
you: maybe i can order it and tell him it's for my mom.
Arnel: if you have your dad's permission to use his credit card
Arnel: you can do it online
you: you can do what online? have sex?
Arnel: order bloussant
you: that's what i'm thinking about doing.
you: do you have sex online?
Arnel: you should wait till you are fully developed before you take bloussant
Arnel: no
you: but you told me it was the answer to my problems!
Arnel: just wait it out you probably have not reached your full potential yet
you: do you want to see pictures of my tits? i let my boyfriend take some with my dad's digital camera.
Arnel: no thanks
you: can i email them to you?
you: the pictures i mean.
you: ? are you still there?
Arnel: yes
you: are you gay?
Arnel: im still here
you: are you still gay?
Arnel: no im not gay in the first place
you: then why don't you want to see my boobies?
you: is it because you think they're too small?
Arnel: it is not proper work procedures
you: so if you weren't at work?
you: what if you give me your email address?
Arnel: for sure
Arnel: i cant
you: or do you have a IM handle?
Arnel: i need to let you go
you: go where?
you: do you like oral sex?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

you: can i email them to you?
you: the pictures i mean.
you: ? are you still there?
Arnel: yes
you: are you gay?
Arnel: im still here
you: are you still gay?
Arnel: no im not gay in the first place
you: then why don't you want to see my boobies?
you: is it because you think they're too small?
Arnel: it is not proper work procedures
you: so if you weren't at work?
you: what if you give me your email address?
Arnel: for sure
Arnel: i cant
you: or do you have a IM handle?
Arnel: i need to let you go
you: go where?
you: do you like oral sex?

This was long.. She was nice, though.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Antonia #2978'
Antonia #2978: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: hi antonia 2978
Antonia #2978: Hello
you: do you got any stuff that lets you have better orgasms
you: liek that karma sutra shiz
you: tantric
Antonia #2978: Yes, we do!
you: REally!
Antonia #2978: For men or wemon?
you: for men
you: and maybe some wemon on the side
you: i love wemon
Antonia #2978: Are you addressing a specific problem, or looking for a sexual enhancement?
you: enhancement
you: you know like making it better
Antonia #2978: Ener-X is a combination of twelve natural herbs, each one targeted for a different aspect of sexual performance. It is an all-herbal solution for increasing your sex drive and performance. It not only gives you more energy in your daily life, it will give you more sexual energy and desire and firmer longer lasting erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural and is becoming the #1 alternative to dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra.
you: viagra is dangerous?
you: like it kills
Antonia #2978: Yes, kilss what?
Antonia #2978: oops
Antonia #2978: kills?
you: i dont want that though i dont want viagra its too expensive
Antonia #2978: Than ener_x is perfect for you!
you: yeah its late huh they must be paying you more for this
you: so this will make me feel better when i have sex
Antonia #2978: It is 3 am here
you: its 4 am here haha
you: i can't sleep
Antonia #2978: Yes, this will make you feel great and we have some for wemon too
you: i got hooked on wake-ups, some caffiene pills i bought into the all-natural bs
Antonia #2978: What brought you to our web site?
you: i was looking for better orgasms
Antonia #2978: How did you find us?
you: it came up in the seach engine
Antonia #2978: Wow!
you: what
Antonia #2978: So about Ener-x, did you want more in.?
you: whats in.?
you: i like capri pants
Antonia #2978: Information
Antonia #2978: I do too
you: it gives you better orgasms right
Antonia #2978: capris or Ener-x?
you: are there really 2978 Antonia's where you work
Antonia #2978: No, that is my agent ID#
you: or are you some evil genetically mutated super clone
you: sure it is... clone.
Antonia #2978: That too!
you: im from canada do you ship up north
Antonia #2978: You figured me out!!!
you: yeah ima call the government on you bastards
Antonia #2978: No, but you want to try trimega
you: you dont mess with Duke Earle the THIRD
Antonia #2978: that we ship north
you: Tupocs not dead
Antonia #2978: ok
you: whats trimega
Antonia #2978: I agree
you: how many people do you get this late?
you: are you satisfied with your job?
Antonia #2978: not very many
Antonia #2978: I love my job!
you: do you look back and ponder.. what more could i have done?
you: did HAL make you say that?
Antonia #2978: I get to talk to fun people like you
Antonia #2978: Who is HAL?
you: im not fun im an annoying bastard. LOATHE ME!!
you: HAL you know
you: hes the super computer from space oddesy 2001
Antonia #2978: no i don't know
you: oddesey?
you: odessey
Antonia #2978: Are you rodney
you: he was evil.. pre evil
you: who the hells rodney
you: im Duke Earl
Antonia #2978: My fun loving manager
Antonia #2978: aren't you the 3rd?
you: well i don't love fun
you: yeah
you: Duke Earl the THIRD
you: ima joma
you: aii
you: hey
Antonia #2978: trimega is a herbal pill that will give you longer lasting erections, and that is what you are looking for right
you: Do you work at subway?
Antonia #2978: no
you: cause you're givin me a footlong
you: HAhAhahAHAHAHAHHAhAhAHA
Antonia #2978: hehehehe!
you: no i have no problem keepin me willy up
you: do you know Spider-Man
Antonia #2978: well if you have an address in the U.S. I can ship you Ener-X
you: i don't i live in canada
Antonia #2978: Spider-man is my X!
you: you know hes a closet homosexual
you: and so is Al
Antonia #2978: Where do you live?
you: and Jay
you: i live in Canada
you: its right above the US
you: we share a common border
Antonia #2978: That is why he ran away with my other x
you: wow you get around huh
Antonia #2978: I have been to Vancoover
you: ahh yes VancoUver i love it so
you: but im from Calgary
you: where are you from?
Antonia #2978: How far away fo\rom BC?
you: its the next province over
Antonia #2978: I am in California
you: i knew it!
Antonia #2978: OOOHHHH
you: socal?
Antonia #2978: How did you KNow?
Antonia #2978: Yes
you: cause everyone who's running on PST lives in cali
Antonia #2978: You probably work here
you: unless you live in seattle
you: no i don't work there
you: i'm in Calgary
Antonia #2978: not true!
Antonia #2978: liar!
you: i'm not lying to you, super-clone.
Antonia #2978: well it has been fun, however i do have to go back to work!
you: Yes
you: you are a lot more pleasant then everyone else that works there
you: they all have sticks up their ass
you: tell them to take the sticks out of their asses
Antonia #2978: Thank you
Antonia #2978: Great, if you need any more assistance, I will be here.
Antonia #2978: Will do!
you: huzzah!
you: ill call you
Antonia #2978: It was my pleasure.
you: i know
Antonia #2978: If you have any questions later or would like to order, feel free to come back, or call 1-800-383-0237 x1410.
you: i sure will
Antonia #2978: Good Bye.
you: bye
Antonia #2978: Bye!
you: CYA
Antonia #2978: l8ter
you: PeACE
you: you just dont wanna leave me
Antonia #2978: Ok i really have to go!
you: Ok!
you: wait one question
you: one last question
Antonia #2978: ok go
you: are you hot?
Antonia #2978: ok
you: wait your a chick right
Antonia #2978: yes
Antonia #2978: r u?
you: you know it
Antonia #2978: yes
Antonia #2978: Bye bye
you: they dont call me the Greek Machine for nothin
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Samantha'
Samantha: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hello?
you: Hi
you: I is have embarass problem
you: Sorry for bad english it second language
Samantha: How can I help ?
you: can i be speak to man? embarass speak to lady
you: why no reply?
Samantha: Sure ....
you: You get man for me to speak?
Bob: Hi my name is Bob how can I help you?
you: I is have embarass problem
you: My english no good it second language
you: Sorry
you: But problem different
Bob: Ok how can I help?
you: me and partner have lot of sexs but lately i not stay big
you: it get floppy and flop everywhere
you: have you be have drug for problem?
Bob: What it sounds like to me is need Ener-x
you: what be enerx?
you: why reply so long? you laughing me?
you: i be need yours help
Bob: Ener-X will not cause any tissue growth within the penis, but by improving erections, it is possible that Ener-X will provide you with greater firmness and girth from the increased blood flow.
you: what girth?
Bob: Ener-X comes in tablets. You take 2 a day, one in the morning and one at night. You will begin to feel an energy boost in 2-3 days. It takes about 2-3 weeks for the product to build up enough in your system to receive the full sexual benefits.
Bob: Girth is width of your penis
you: sound like make me come faster. i no want that.
you: my girth is be ok
you: just no stay hard
you: girth big make hard for insert no?
you: why no reply bob? you laughing me?
Bob: No never
Bob: This will help you with that
you: why reply long? how cost is innerx
Bob: Which country are you in?
Bob: Or which state are you in?
you: uraguay
Bob: Our two-month supply of Ener-x is $110.90. We also have some great specials going. When you purchase 3 months we give you and additional month for free. That 4-month special would only be $169.90. We also have another special where you purchase 5 months and we give you an additional 3 months for free. That special 8-month package would only be $269.85! Our best deal is with our year supply. It breaks down to only $30.81 per month. Basically, you are paying for 7 months and we are giving you 5 months for free! The grand total on the year package would be $369.80. Remember the shipping and handling is already included in the price and you always have that 30-day money back guarantee.
you: how long last hard? me and partner have sexs long times before
you: will hard last long times?
Bob: Plus an extra fee for international shipping and hadling
you: what hadling?
you: is that be box?
Bob: Handling is packaging and the coast to ship it to you
you: why you swear me?
you: oh you is said ship
you: sorry
Bob: plus it goes through customs
you: my english is be bad
you: how long hard lasting fors?
you: hello?
Bob: Ener-X is a combination of twelve natural herbs, each one targeted for a different aspect of sexual performance. It is an all-herbal solution for increasing your sex drive and performance. It not only gives you more energy in your daily life, it will give you more sexual energy and desire and firmer longer lasting erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural and is becoming the #1 alternative to dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra.
you: but how long? i want least 6 hour
you: me and partner like long sexs
you: sometime we no go work
Bob: As long as you can last!
you: then what drug do? i no last long no more
you: you say drug get me hard always?
you: me cant walk with hard
you: like have three leg
Bob: Only when the occasion arises
you: so when me is horny me dick get bigs?
you: how big get? me get 8 inchs sometime
Bob: That is what I'm saying
you: that sound be good
you: how big dick get?
you: mean penus
Bob: I don't know how much larger you will get
you: how come you work then? you is not no job?
you: long reply because you ask frend?
you: i want speak to man who be no more
Bob: Everyone is different
you: so drug maybe no work?
Bob: This will work...
Bob: We have a 30-day money back guarantee with Ener-X that is legal bonding. If you are unsatisfied with the product for any reason, simply return the unused portion within 30 days for a full product refund.
you: you be have proof?
you: that make not sense
you: drug might work and then i be send back bottle
Bob: This is why we offer a 30 day full product refund
you: but what if people lies?
Bob: No if you are not happy with the results you can send it back
you: how work? i injecks in my penus?
you: that sound scare
Bob: no.. it's a pill
Bob: Ener-X comes in tablets. You take 2 a day, one in the morning and one at night. You will begin to feel an energy boost in 2-3 days. It takes about 2-3 weeks for the product to build up enough in your system to receive the full sexual benefits.
you: pill? sond more scare how i fit in penus?
you: i is no like innerx
Bob: You take it orally
you: i no wanting drug for orals. my dick no stay hard
you: you no what you speaking?
you: is brodie there
you: marcopolo?
you: polo?
you: where polo?
you: me want speak polo
you: Polo?
you: You hear me?
you: POLO?
you: POLO!
Bob: Once again brodie is not here
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

cchris · 04-30-2003, 08:58 AM

PART FOUR:

You are now chatting with 'Tim'
Tim: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hi,I am interested in the Revo product
Tim: Are there any particular questions that you have?
you: Is it safe to use?
Tim: Of course.
you: It's just that some vibrators hurt,you know.I'm only small,if you know what I mean
you: Hello?
Tim: Its not a vibrator.
you: It's not?It looks like one.
you: How much is it?
Tim: RevoStyler is a motorized, rotation round hairbrush that works for every type of hair. The rotating action of the RevoStyler does the work for you. It styles and straightens even the most difficult hair in less than half the time. The RevoStyler can feather, flick, bob, flip, straighten or curl your hair as it adds body and shine. It really is like an instant hair makeover, and with Revo's patented anti-tangle system, the RevoStyler will not tangle your hair.
Tim: We have an incredible offer for you today. You can have a Revo for just $49.95 plus $9.95 shipping and handling or 2 for the incredible price of just $79.90 plus $19.90 shipping and handling. That is just $29.95 for the second Revo, a savings of $20.
you: Can I convert it into a vibrator?
you: That’s a very cheap option if I can
Tim: You can do whatever you want with it.
Tim: We do not reccomend that though.
you: Does that affect the warranty?
you: Can I still get a refund if it gets wet?
Tim: We are so confident that we offer a 30-day money back guarantee. If for any reason you are not completely satisfied with your RevoStyler, simply return the RevoStyler for a full refund less the shipping and handling.
you: Would it still work ok even though I don't have any hair "down there"?
you: Has it got multiple attachments?
you: hello?
you: Can I speak to your Supervisor please.I think his name is Brodie.Or it might be Marco
you: hello?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

I got Tim too, he seemed very bored, this took 20 minutes. I like Tim. I want to know where brodie went.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Tim'
Tim:Hello, how can I help you?
you:hi tim, how are you?
Tim:Im great, how are you?
you:I'm not bad, thanks for asking
Tim:Are there any particular questions that you have?
you:yeah, I'm wondering about your supplements, you know, the ones for the bedroom
Tim:Which product are you referring to?
Tim:We have a few.
you:I think it's tri mega
Tim:Alright...
Tim:What was your question?
you:what's the deal, how does it work
you:Tim, I need help
Tim:You take it 30-60 minutes before any sexual activity.
you:even alone??
Tim:If you would like...
Tim:Thats your choice.
you:would it make that better?
Tim:We offer a 30 day money back guarantee if it doesnt.
you:that's good, what is it going to do for me??
you:I don't find me sexually atractive, will this help?
Tim:Increased stimulation and blood flow and prolonged erection times.
you:but will it make me feel pretty?
you:Maybe I should get the Miami Vice diet first
Tim:It will boost your confidence.
you:That's good, I pretty much stay inside, I'm afraid of things, you know, like ninjas
you:Tim, I'm serious
Tim:Are you schitsophranic?
you:no, I just hate ninjas, you aren't a ninja are you? I just want some boner cream.
Tim:Actually I,m part of the red hand
you:Oh tim, I don't know what that is but I bet it has something to do with Ninjas or stroking it
you id Brodie get you into that?
you:seriously, What if I take a handful of penis pills? will it make my thing explode?
Tim:no ninjas its a marvel superheros ninja clan fights wolverine all the time bring back any memories we got you last week
Tim:It might hurt real bad.
you:Last week?
you:Tim, I'm confused
Tim:I'm sorry about that.
Tim:Maybe you should see a doctor.
you:I just want some boner cream and maybe something to make me stop snoring
Tim:You need more than that.
you:like blowfart, to make my boobs bigger
Tim:Sure.
you:Is Brodie there
you:he told me about the penis creme, and didn't hurt my feelings
Tim:Brodie is not here.
Tim:Is there anything else I can help you with?
you:where is he, he was cool
Tim:I dont even know who that is.
you:yeah, I need to speak to Marcopolo, it's urgent
Tim:Oh, alright.
you:Marco?
Tim:Polo...
you:Oh tim, you are a wily ninja
Tim:I am...
you:What's the deal with Brodie anyways
Tim:I honestly don't know who that is.
you:Is this a coverup, where is brodie
Tim:I dont know a Brodie!
you:Calm down tim, there's no need for exclamation points
Tim:How do you know brodie?
you:we go way back. He knows Marco, I know marco. I just want to talk to brodie
Tim:Hes not working right now.
you id he get fired or killed?
Tim:I really dont know.
you:soylent bloussant is made of people
you:isn't it?
Tim:I dont know what you are talking about.
you:Are you sure?
Tim:Yes.
you:Will trimega work on dogs?
you:I'm not a pervert, just curious>
Tim:I dont know.
you:Who would?
Tim:Stop wasting our time.
you:I'm serious
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

I felt sad and empty at the end

Moe has the greatest sense of humor of ANYONE who works there... listen to this guy play ball...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Moe'
you: sup
Moe: Hello, how can I help you?
you: be brodie in the hizzouse?
you: he mah dawg, foo
you: you thizzere?
you: i though this was lizzive pizzerson?
you: don't sizzeem as anybody lizzive right nozzow
Moe: how would you say that last one?
you: on nizzevermizzind
you: can I buy some of that boob stuff?
Moe: did you have a question?
Moe: for you?
you: yes
you: it works on guys, yes?
Moe: depends...how old are you?
you: 46
Moe: i doubt that but ok...
you: does it work on the buttocks?
Moe: if you have breast tissue growth glands than yes...it will work for you.
you: because, my ass is too big for me to fit through the doojamb
you: doorjamb rather
you: so I'm thinking, I'll just make it as big as spossible
Moe: "doojamb"?
you: so I can take out the doorjamb when I walk through
Moe: funny....not really...
you: I'm not trying to be
you: Is brodie there?
Moe: i can tell.
you: ooooh, harsh
Moe: does he work herer?
Moe: *here
you: yeah
you: I was just connected with him a minute ago
Moe: that's not possable...
you: says you!
you: maybe he's a chinese slave running out of the company basement!
you: forced to do bloussant tests!
you: You don't know!
you: the company sheilds your eyes from the HORROR!
you: DEFY THE EVEL SYSTEM!
you: Evil, rather
you: damn keyboard
you: do you sell keyboards?
Moe: ok...THAT was funny...
you: FUNNY?
you: HORIFFIC I SAY!
Moe: were you talking to him earlier?
you: yes
you: I was
Moe: well he's not here now and i don't know anyone by that name.
you: really...
you: well
Moe: yup
you: I have another question then
Moe: huh
you: Do you make any products that will let me shoot lasers out of my fingertips?
Moe: that would be pretty nifty
you: indeed
Moe: lol..."nifty"
Moe: you're not on the website...are you?
you: not as nifty as when I hook up my honda civic with five others into a giant killer robot and free brodie from the Bloussant Dungeon!
you: what website
you: because if you mean blacksonblondes.com, I sure as hell am!
Moe: the "wellquestintl" website.
Moe: he he
you: what's "wellquestintl?"
Moe: the makers of bloussant
you: how do you pronounce "intl?"
you: there's a great lack of vowels there
Moe: international
you: then why isn't it spelled international?
Moe: that's too long
you: why, the potential marketing range for Bloussant and the like is incapable of spelling international?
Moe: well i'm guessing that they can...however...they, like myself, are too lazy
Moe: .
you: looks like you're not giving them a lot of credit
you: how would they feel if you told them that?
Moe: well...in actuality...the intl is only for the web address
you: well
Moe: otherwise...i think they would.
you: why don't they get rid of the intl
you: and just make it wellquest?
you: is there already a company named wellquest who has it taken?
Moe: no...i don't think so at least.
you: It is rather apparent that your company's marketing department are full of total dumbasses
Moe: lol
you: Tech support should wage total warfare on advertising
Moe: do you or someone you know personally work here?
you: You have to begin to weed out the bastards slowly before your attack
you: put strychtyne in the water cooler
you: that'll shut their asses up
you: I don't work, per se...
Moe: no...
you: See, I'm in prison
Moe: lol
Moe: what do you mean?
you: the warden lets me use his computer in exchange for...
you: things that I don't enjoy very much
Moe: yer a nut.
you: my old cellmate tells me the trick is to back your rectum with ground glass
you: but then I doubt he'd let me use his computer anymore
you: that sick fuck warden
Moe: what the warden's name?
you: I don't know... he always tells me to call him daddy
Moe: well than...who's yo daddy?
you: are you still talking about the warden or my actualy father
you: for all I know, it could be my father, he blindfolds me every time
you: the bastard
Moe: youy tell me.
you: Naw, it couldn't be me dad
you: he's a necrophiliac
Moe: so beat him down and take his comp.
you: getting a dead woman pregnant was the most amazing thing i've ever seen anyone do
you: i can't beat him down with my hands chained to the ceiling
Moe: i'd pay to see that.
you: a lot of people do
Moe: good point...
you: there's a website somewhere
you: would your company happen to make a rectal guillotine?
Moe: not that i know of...
you: well, they should
you: for my sake
Moe: i could check.
you: do that, please
Moe: ok
Moe: not anymore.
you: god damn
Moe: i think my mom got the last one.
you: lucky mom.
you: do you think she could lend it to me?
Moe: not so lucky goat...
Moe: i suppose.
you: well, goos
you: good rather
you: oh fuck...
you: the warden's coming
Moe: what?
you: i'll come back tomorrow to follow up on that offer.
Moe: RUN!
Moe: ok...c-ya then
you: i'll be off and running, disconnect me yourself
Moe: k
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator

Damn, Alyssa is MEAN!

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hello, I'm Billy Mays! I'm Here to tell you about Oxi-Clean, the Stain Specialist
you: I'm polling all over the internet, asking people what they think of our product!
you: Do you use this product at your office?
Alyssa: No we don't
you: Really?
you: One of your coworkers told me you did, and that we'd get plenty of references from here
you: Perhaps you can connect me with them?
Alyssa: You want to talk to our customer service department. Their number is 1-800-610-7758. They are open Monday-Friday from 5:00am to 9:30pm, Pacific Time.
you: Oh...
you: He said I could get references from the LivePerson chat
you: perhaps you know him?
Alyssa: No I don't know much about this
you: His name is Brodie
you: Does anyone named Brodie do LivePerson chats on this website?
Alyssa: I don't know the person
you: Hmm
you: How about Marco?
Alyssa: I'm sorry I couldn't help you but maybe you could call the customer service or something
you: I can't use the phone here
you: Well... if I can't get references...
you: Can I buy some O-Gel?
you: For my, uh... mother
you: I mean girlfriend
you: my girlfriend
Alyssa: Okay
Alyssa: You want to order some 0-gel
you: yes
you: but not for me
you: for other people
you: that are not me
you: but shipped to my house
you: I want to uhh
you: gift wrap it first
Alyssa: Well they will send it to your house and the box will say *wellquest intrl* on it
Alyssa: and you can wrap it
you: Ok good
you: does it work on the rectum?
Alyssa: Okay I will need to take some information from you
you: because my girlfriend would enjoy that
you: what kind of information?
Alyssa: like your name address phone number and how will you be paying for it
you: Uhm...
Alyssa: and how many month supply do you want to order
you: uhh
you: just a minute
Alyssa: sure
you: Ok, your demeanor is too threatening. I can't take it anymore. I want to use O-gel in my rectum. You forced it out of me with your mind games! But don't let it leak to the press! Do you know how many Ding Kings will go unsold if you do???
Alyssa: get a life
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Jill is a TRUE player .

Please wait for a site operator to respond .
You are now chatting with 'Jill'
you: Good. I have some very technical questions to ask you about the cream
Jill:I'll try and help...
you:Why are my nipples getting so hard?
Jill:You're not really serious...
you:I AM SO! My nipples ... they're hard and they have this white coating on them!
Jill:Uhhhh, huh... hard, uhhh, nipples with white, uhh... stuff...
you:Not only that, they're getting warped !
Jill:I see...
you:They used to be soft, pink and round !
Jill:huh...
you:Now they really look disgusting !
Jill:I'm sure they do...
you:So I want to know what you're going to do about this!
Jill:I really don't think I can help you. Have you discussed this with your personal physician?
you:Yes I have ! He said I should call you because he thought it was from the cream !
Jill:I see... uhhhh, just why and how does he think the water is
causing this?
you:He said cleaning them in boiling water sometimes does that
Jill:Sounds painful... can't you just sponge them off?
you:Painful?! THE BABY BOTTLE NIPPLES ARE THE ONES I'M TALKING ABOUT !
Jill:Now I understand...
you:Are you going to buy me new ones ?
Jill:Why would we do that?
you:Because your cream ruined these. My baby won't suck them
anymore. He's been sick and I think it's from the white stuff...
he used to really suck...
Jill:May I ask how old your baby is?
you:He's six, going on seven
Jill:Six... and he refuses the bottle? Maybe he's getting a little old
for the bottle...
you: DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!
Jill:I wasn't. How long have you been using these nipples?
you:Since he was born
you: My guess is the white film is from the calcium carbonate
in the water ... kind of like bathtub ring of the nipple ... and
they are hard and warped because of being boiled and bitten for
six years ...
you:So ! You are refusing to pay !
Jill:Well, that's not for me to decide. I was only trying to suggest
they might just be plain worn out.
you:THEY WOULDN'T BE WORN OUT
IF YOUR CREAM WAS ANY GOOD!
Jill:There is really nothing more I can do for you...
you:JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY MONEY?
Jill:Well, why don't you just run down to our main office. There you
can file an insurance claim...
you:What good would that do? Will they give me the money?
Jill:They will investigate and make a judgement whether to settle or
not...
you:Well, you sure haven't been any help! How do I get them to pay
more attention than you have?"
Jill:Just show them your nipples!!
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

well here is my attempt at messing with them..... but my operator bob was too helpful....... hahaha Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Bob'
Bob: Hello, how can I help you?
you: hello bob!
Bob: Hello!
you: I was wondering how much blussant was
you: oh i just clicked it...its kinda high...
Bob: Are you in California?
you: nope michigan
Bob: Our price for a two-month supply of Bloussant is $229.95. We also have a great special going on right now. When you purchase three months of Bloussant, we give you an additional month Free! That 4-month promotional would be only $344.95. Remember that shipping and handling is already included in the price and you always have that 2-month money back guarantee on all the packages offered.
you: if you take it for 4 months then stop will your womans titties shrink back down?
Bob: Just take the pills until you reach your desired results and remember it is an herbal supplement, so some women may need to continue taking Bloussant to maintain some of the firmness and size. And some women will have reached their desired size and no longer need to keep taking Bloussant.
Bob: (WE cannot guarantee results FOREVER.)
you: cause i dont think i could afford to keep buying this stuff
you: shoot
you: is there a good way to tell your wife you want her to take these without her getting her feelings hurt???
you: she crys alot.......
you: dang bob your not being to helpful.
Bob: Sorry...
Bob: I don't know your wife.
you: its not an easy thing here.......... I want her to have bigger tits...
Bob: Has she ever complaine that she is unhappy with her breasts?
you: but dont want her to think that i think her tits are too small
you: no but i am
Bob: Has she ever complained about any part of you?
you: man then to spend 400 bucks and she gets pissed........
you: she says i am fat
Bob: Well?
you: so i went on a diet
you: nothing but lettuce and water for like a month
Bob: Did you lose weight?
you: i practacally starved
you: yeah like 41 pounds
you: now she says i have excess skin
Bob: You should ask her if there is anything she would want to change about you physicaly.
you: can you mix these pills in her drinks or something.... so she wont notice them???
you: man her tits are sooooo small...
Bob: If you ask her that, it could lead into a conversation about what you would like to change about her.
Bob: Do you see what I'm sayin' buddy?
you: i tried she starts crying.... you dont love me... y
you: yeah that whole coversation thing... i alwyas fuck it up....
Bob: I'm sorry.
you: man i gott give this some thought.....
Bob: Yeah.
you: hey while i think about this say hi to Brodie and Marco-polo for me
you: later..........
Bob: Sure thing.
you: bye

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Don Juan Demarco'
Don Juan Demarco: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hi Don
you: Don?
you:
Don Juan Demarco: Sorry
Don Juan Demarco: How can I help you?
you: I have a problem
you: I can't staisfy a woman
Don Juan Demarco: And, what is this problem
Don Juan Demarco: WOW! That is a problem!
Don Juan Demarco: How can I help?
you: I think my penis is too small. Don't laugh but it's only 3 inches when hard
Don Juan Demarco: Too much info.
you: Do you have a product that can help me?
you: I thought you were here to help and I thought you needed the info
you: ??
you: sorry
Don Juan Demarco: We can make you a stallion, but can not give you the stallions favored tool.
you: How can you make me a stallion?
you: I really want to make her happy ya know
Don Juan Demarco: TRIMEGA
you: I'm afraid I'll lose another girlfriend if I don't do it right next time
you: Trimega???
you: I was looking at the O-Gel for her but what is tri?
Don Juan Demarco: One sec. Let me splain
Don Juan Demarco: Trimega is an all herbal form of Viagra. In just a few minutes you too can become MR. MACHO MAN.
Don Juan Demarco: Wanna Try??
you: I've tried Viagra. My problem isn't getting hard. My grandfather slips me Viagra and I can hump all night but the problem is she can't get excited. she likes to use the big colored dildo with the ribs on it over me
you: I'm tired of feeling like a boy instead of a man
you: those surgeries look horrible
you: and they're expensive, too
Don Juan Demarco: Than what I suggest is that you try Longitude.
Don Juan Demarco: Go to www.longitude.com
you: what's that?
you: a learning place
you: how about O-gel. Will it really make her experience better?
Don Juan Demarco: An all herbal penis enlargement system
you: Oh, like a pump?
Don Juan Demarco: I have a friend that tried it and it actually worked.
Don Juan Demarco: No
Don Juan Demarco: Silly.
Don Juan Demarco: Like penis implants only NO SURGERY!
you: Really?? Will I still be able to cum?
Don Juan Demarco: O-Gel will work too.
you: what does it do for the woman?
Don Juan Demarco: YES! You will still be able to ejaculate.
you: I think I'm going to ejaculate in just a minute
Don Juan Demarco: What does what do for woman
Don Juan Demarco: ?
you: this is exciting
you: I think I'm going to ejaculate. Wanna hear?
Don Juan Demarco: Bye, Now this Conversation is over.
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Holy crap...I gave up before he did...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Bob'
Bob: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Bob, how the hell are you?
you: I have a question about Metroxin
Bob: Great!
you: is it safe to use on my chest?
you: I don't have hair on my chest and my GF likes hairy chested guys
Bob: Yes.
you: will it work though?
you: has it been tested?
you: you there, Bbo?
you: sorry Bob
you: Bob?
Bob: It hasn't been tested on the chest.
you: so there are no guarantees
Bob: You are impatient man!
you: sorry
you: I just figured that that was something that should be known
you: anyway
you: I'm balding too
you: how does this stuff work anyway?
Bob: It hasn't been tested on the chest, but the same principle applies, so I imagine theres a chance.
Bob: Of course Metroxin is backed by the best refund policy you could possibly expect. No matter what supply you purchase today, it comes with a full product guarantee. If you are not completely satisfied while using Metroxin, return it anytime up to the end of the supply and we'll give you a full product refund.
you: what kind of frequency do I need to apply this stuff
Bob: Just wash your hair with the included detoxifying shampoo whenever you would normally shampoo and after drying your hair take 2 to 3 minutes to apply the topical solution. Apply it once in the morning and once before bed. Take the herbal supplement like you would a vitamin twice a day.
you: can I use it in the shower?
Bob: The detoxifying shampoo.
you: herbal supplement?? what's that for?
you: what's in it
Bob: Detoxifying Shampoo (8 oz. bottle) - Water, polysorbate 80 - sodium trideceth sulfate, cocamidopropyl hydroxysultaine, disodium lauramphodiacetate, sodium laureth, propylene glycol, citrus acid diazolindyl urea, quaternium, methylparaben.
Bob: Topical Solution (4 oz. bottle) - Alcohol, propylene glycol, water piperidnopyrimdine 3 oxide, Guaninovolicio acid, Vitamin E, Eguesturn Aevense, maidenhair. (CONTAINS ONLY 2% MINOXIDOL)
Bob: Herbal Supplement (120 tablets) - Maidenhair, Vaccinium Myrtillus, Equisetum, Sabal Serulate.
you: what's maidenhair?
you: why is this better than rogaine? rogaine seems simpler to apply?
Bob: I don't know, but I'm sure you can look it up online.
you: that didn't seem very helpful
Bob: Because it is only one part of the system, you can drive a car with 4 cylinders, but a car with 6 or 8 runs much better. The shampoo and the herbal supplement play an important role in the total growth process. Rogaine contains 5% minoxidol, while Metroxin only contains 2% , so it is much safer.
you: is minoxidol dangerous?
you: I was not aware of that
Bob: Within about two months you will notice that your hair is no longer falling out, plus existing hair will grow thicker and fuller. By the fourth month, you should start to see a new head of hair.
you: Bob, let me ask you a crazy question...do you mind if I do?
Bob: Go ahead.
you: if you wash your hands with this stuff, will you have LOTS of hair on the back of your hands afterwards?
you: that would be weird
you: so in foru months my hair could start growing back
Bob: There have been no reports of that.
Bob: Yes.
you: would be weird though wouldn't it?
you: this is the kind of stuff you have to think about sometimes, Bob
Bob: It depends on your definition of weird.
you: well, really hairy hands are kind of weird to look at don't you thnk?
you: like Robin Williams, does he use Metroxin?
Bob: No.
you: how much is it anyway?
Bob: Monkeys have hairy hands.
you: they do indeed
Bob: Our 2-month supply is $149.90 plus shipping and handling, however if you buy 3-months today, we'll send you a 1-month supply for free. It's just $224.85 plus shipping and handling. That saves you 25% off of the normal price.
you: but not the palms, I hear that they...you know...take care of themselves a lto
you: if I buy 6 months do I get 2 motnhs free?
you: Bob?
you: oh my God, they got you,Bob
Bob: Yes.
you: phew
you: thought you were gone
Bob: I was.
you: you ever see StrongBad?
you: funny stuff
Bob: Now, I'm back.
you: is Brodie there?
Bob: I am Brodie.
you: Get OUT!!!!
you: really
you: are you really?
Bob: Yes.
you: is your name Bob Brodie?
Bob: No.
you: OHHH, I was looking for that guy from the Jaws movie
Bob: It's Brodie Bro!
you: check him out...it's BRODIE!!!
Bob: Which one?
you: how's it going brothre
you: brother
you: how's things been?
Bob: Just great!
you: super
Bob: They been...
Bob: Y'know?
you: sure
you: how are Al and Jay and the gang?
you: does Sabastian still work there?
you: he's a dick
Bob: I don't hang wit Al and jay and the gang.
you: ohh
Bob: No.
you: why not
you: why don't you hang with them?
Bob: Dey done abush my momma.
you: you should try Ener-X
Bob: Ambush
you: then you can hang with them
you: or Tri-mega
you: good stuff
Bob: I did n it got the brotha man all teeked! foo!
you: what state are you in anyway?
you: check that G
Bob: Illin' Illinois, Foo!
you: yo B, sup mang-gib it 2 me straight up
you: check him out
you: Illin' in Illinois
you: very nice
you: hey, Bob...why do you do this?
you: can't you find some other job?
Bob: Righteous.
Bob: I have other job.
you: you do?
you: what do you do?
Bob: Tha what I said.
you: cool, what is it?
Bob: Things man, I do things...
you: you don't have another job do you?
you: wait
Bob: YaknowwhaImsayin Foo!
you: they're not testing these things on you are they?????
you: HSIT man
you: Shit
you: don't let them play liekdat
Bob: Yes they are.
you: do you have like 6 eyes as a result of this testing?
you: Bob? I worry when it takes you so long to answer
Bob: I am a responsible upright citizen of this great nation.
you: you're a good man Bob
you: what do you think of the potential war in Iraq?
you: BOB?!?! Did they get you?? Oh NO, THEY GOT YOU !!!!
you: HOLY CRAP!!
you: you there Bob
you: say something, anything...
Bob: Yeh.
you: phew, I was very concerned
Bob: Very good.
you: so really, what do you think abou the whole Iraq thing?
you: is it BS or are we justified
Bob: It doesn't exist buddy.
Bob: None of it.
you: Iraq doesn't exist?
Bob: It's a farse!
you: or the whole thing is an illusion
you: what do you think the point of this all is then?
Bob: NO!!!!! Iraq exist, but the "whloe Iraq thing" doesn't
you: We go way back Bob, be honest here
you: what do you think is happeneing then?
you: just a bunch of propaganda?
you: interesting thought
Bob: The point IS the point, think about it...
you: you're blowing my mind here, Bob
you: do you like Oreo's?
Bob: they are trying to pound a hammer with the nail...
you: nice analogy
you: back to the oreo question
Bob: They are trying to wag the dog with the tail...
you: right, Oreo's, Bob, focus
Bob: Thet are trying to put the filling on the outside of the cookie buddy.
you: so you prefer somthing like a chocolate covered grahma cracker then
you: you know those Keebler thingies
Bob: Plural of oreo does not need an apostrophie bud.
you: right, not possesive
you: spelled that wrong too
you: did you go to college?
Bob: It's PLURAL!
Bob: No.
Bob: I am horibal at speling.
you: you seem really smart
Bob: Ha!
you: very esoteric thing you got going on withthe Iraqq stuff
Bob: Are you flirting with me bud?
you: ummm....no
you: are you gay?
Bob: No you are wrong about that bud.
Bob: It's the TRUTH!
you: I could go for some bud
you: and some Bud
Bob: No you couldn't.
you: actually, you're right, I prefer Guiness
you: and I don't smoke that shit
you: bad for you
Bob: Told ya' so.
you: you know me too well
Bob: No it's not.
you: so what else you got going on today?
Bob: Beer is worse pal.
you: it is addictive, where bud is not, you are correct
Bob: I get to fly a jet for the first time alone to pass an exam.
you: cool
Bob: Like ice, baby.
you: when's that happening...I'll be sure to stay out of Ill. that day
Bob: Two day!!!!
you: really, what time?
Bob: Today!!!
Bob: 2:00 pm.
you: it's almost 3 your time now
Bob: Oh, I'm late!!!!!
Bob: I'm screwed!!!!!
you: oh well, to bad
Bob: Nevermind, theres always make-up testing.
you: sorry to hear that
Bob: You read it bud.
you: http://www.vbloke.com/boobs.swf
you: check that shit out
you: she doesn't need bloussant
Bob: I can't, I have indigestion
you: you're not even paying attention now are you?
you: that really pisses me of
you: f
Bob: Well it's too expensive.
you: can't you at least show some common courtesy?
you: have you ever tried any of these products you are here to answer questions about?
Bob: Common courtesy was made up to controll.
you: oh geez...here we go
you: have you ever tried any of these products you are here to answer questions about?
Bob: Yes.
you: which ones
you: do you get commission for this?
Bob: Vital solutions.
you: or are you just the answer clown
Bob: Neither.
you: you are basically "copy and Paste Man" then , eh?
you: you've pretty much decided that you are going to see how long I can keep this up for haven't you?
you: why does it cost so much to ship a bottle of pills?
you: 5.95 for shipping, that's outrageous
you: Bob, you there?
Bob: Yes, yes, I don't know and if you say so.
you: LOL
you: you kill me
Bob: Uh huh.
you: you're a good guy...I'll leave you alone
you: hey, Bob
Bob: Yeh?
you: tell Brodie I said hi
you: check you later brother
Bob: Later my man.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hello, Alyssa
you: I am a popular "urban" musician, and I have a problem
Alyssa: what kind of problem
you: In one of my popular songs, I say, quote, "You say youse a gangsta, but you've never got none"
you: "I say youse a wanksta and you need to stop frontin"
you: but, in reality, this is not the case
you: see, the people that I am referring to in this song are probably less of "wankstas" than I am
Alyssa: ok
you: I have a good deal of problems "getting some"
Alyssa: What are you talking about
you: if the public were to ascertain this, my "street cred" could be trashed
you: basically
you: do you have anything that would help me "get it up?"
Alyssa: Yeah we have ener-x
Alyssa: tri-mega
you: What are these ener-x and tri-mega products?
you: ie, what are their effects, price, ingreditent
you: etc
you: Hello?
Alyssa: ener-x will increase your sex drive and performance and increase the levels of testosterone in your system
you: outstanding
Alyssa: Tri-mega,,,firmer longer lasting erections... about the same
you: price will not be an issue, as I am not in the process of "getting rich or dying tryin'"
Alyssa: Ener-X is 100% natural with no reported side effects
you: good, good.
you: I have another problem, as well
you: I, as the case is, am into having sex, but I am not into making love
Alyssa: Okay what is it
Alyssa: Okay
you: this is generally because the girls I "have sex" with are not very "willing"
you: and it usually means I have to "tie them to the bed"
Alyssa: what do you mean are not very willing?
you: is there any way I could "prevent" this?
Alyssa: Okay well we also have ener-x for women
you: good, good
you: in the case that that does not work, how do you tie a square knot?
Alyssa: Well did they even want to do with you
you: regular shoelace knots aren't so great
you: they tend to "break"
you: and the girl tends to "get away"
you: and sometimes "calls the police"
Alyssa: Well if they didnt want to do it with you then you shouldnt start any of this
Alyssa: get lost
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

It's good to know that their still alive and well .
JUST BLOWING OFF STEAM ...

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Hello, how can I help you?
you: What is bloussant?
Alyssa:Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: How is it pronounced ?
Alyssa:blue-sant
you: Do you realize that spiderman and the other liveperson ops are swearing bloussant doesn't cause cancer ? causes tissue growth but not cancer. right. Tell those infotards they need to stop riding the short bus and get a clue: if they promise it, they make themselves personally liable if you know it not to be true.
you: don't promise shit , it's not worth $10 an hour
you: personal
you: liability
you: share the word
Alyssa:thanks but it dosnt cause cancer
you: you don't know that and neither does wellfleet
you: say "there is not evidence that it causes adversary health problems"
you: don't be specific
you: seriously, cover your ass
Alyssa: ok....
you: so ... anal?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

I think Alyssa might have the 'shits'.

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hello Alyssa
Alyssa: Hi How are you
you: Not very well,but thanx for asking.I need some advice on the Miami 48 hr diet
Alyssa: Sure what would you like to know
you: I have tried that many diets that I have just about given up.Will this one really make me lose weight?
Alyssa: One bottle covers the weekend- 8 meals- and that is all you need to lose anywhere from 6-10 pounds. Many people will take the 48 Hour Diet over the weekend, and then eat normal food and do the diet on the weekend again. They will not lose another 6-10 pounds but more will be lost.
Alyssa: And from what I heard it works so I'm sure it will help you
Alyssa: to lose weight
you: I'm desparate.Can I just take this stuff and have nothing else?
Alyssa: what do you mean nothing else?
you: My weight is affecting me so badly that I have no self esteem anymore
you: Can I just stay on the Miami diet thing and not eat anything else?
Alyssa: If you take miami 48 diet and you will lose 6-10 pounds in one weekend
Alyssa: No it will affect your stomach
you: You don't know what I am going through.
Alyssa: You should eat normal food then take 48 hour diet on the weekend
you: If I don't lose fifty pounds at least I don't like to think what I could be capable of doing to myself.
Alyssa: and you will lose weight
Alyssa: What do you mean
you: What's normal food?
Alyssa: like healthy food
you: I'm sorry.I just feel so depressed about my weight.
Alyssa: I understand... well you can eat healthy food, take 48 hour diet and execrise
you: It's so bad that I don't even know how much I weigh anymore.My scales broke the last time I got on them
Alyssa: I'm sorry
you: Please don't suggest that I exercise.I can't even leave the house.
Alyssa: Would you like to try it out anyway?
Alyssa: you can do it in the house
you: It would have to be delivered as I can't even get out of my bedroom either
you: Hello?
you: You don't really care do you?
Alyssa: Do you even want to try it out?
you: Your just like all the rest of those nasty sales people aren't you?
Alyssa: hey I'm trying to help you and I guess you didn't get any of my messages
Alyssa: and you cant blame other people for your own problems
Alyssa: and I'm trying to suggest for you to try that product and see if it will help you at all
Alyssa: to make yourself feel better about yourself
you: Your right.I'm sorry
Alyssa: do you even want to try it or not
you: I would like to try your product but it's so difficult dealing with people when I look like I do
Alyssa: why is it so difficult dont be so ashamed ok
you: I just don't want the delivery person to laugh at me like some of the others have
Alyssa: It will come with your normal mail in the mailbox don't worry
you: I can't get out of my house.I thought I explained that
you: Can you send someone over with it?
Alyssa: I don't think that is even true, how can you get your mail, or get things you need out of the house
Alyssa: No we can't
Alyssa: the only way for you to get it is from your mailbox or at the door
Alyssa: alright?
you: I have a carer that helps me but she is very strict on who I can talk to and what I am allowed to do
Alyssa: alright have him or her take it in for you
you: The other company sent a nice man around with my last diet
Alyssa: Are there any particular questions that you have?
Alyssa: Ok good
Alyssa: did you even want to order the product or not
Alyssa: and maybe you can see if it will work on you or something
you: How much is six months supply?
Alyssa: We don't have 6 months supply
Alyssa: we have 1 2 or 4 month supply
you: My carer won't help me with this sort of stuff and I have to hide it so she won't beat me for talking to you.Can you bring it round.You seem like a nice person.
Alyssa: did you want to start with 4 month suppply and if it works you can re order for more
Alyssa: yeah sure thank you have a nice day
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

cowudders14 · 06-14-2003, 04:18 PM

Sooo funny! Thanks!
I looked up the wellquest website and, surprise surprise, it no longer appears to exist! Is this temporary - anyone else been able to access it recently? :-)

cchris · 06-14-2003, 04:23 PM

They all had nervous breakdowns and gave up.

KWSN · 06-14-2003, 04:45 PM

I hate Alyssa. Really. What a bitch.

I also hate Bob. It's impossible to piss him off.

T.U.B. · 06-15-2003, 01:13 AM

This is hillarious!
the wellquest site is back online, but no more 'liveperson' chat...

The above chatlogs, from how manny people are they? I did'nt see the post on the old board.

Eviltree · 06-15-2003, 09:31 AM

hah, that'll teach those spammers.

cchris · 06-15-2003, 10:11 AM

Do try this at home.

If an insurance company calls trying to sell you insurance, act very surprised and delighted. Say, "You want to sell me insurance? I've been trying to get insurance for YEARS but nobody will sell me any!"
…………………………………………………………………………………………..
One called trying to sell me accidental death and dismemberment insurance. I said "oh my god that's awful, is something going to happen to me?" After she got me calmed down, I asked if my dogs could be beneficiaries. After consulting with someone else I was told no. I then said "Well who's going to look after my dogs if I die?" She didn't know and she hung up.
…………………………………………………………………………………………..
Homeowner's Insurance? you should have called me before the tree fell on my house.
…………………………………………………………………………………………..
Whenever I get a call regarding a survey -- anything to what TV shows I watch to who I'll be voting for -- I first ask, "how much are you going to pay me for participating in your survey?"
After this, there's usually a long pause on the other end, then usually the answer, "we don't pay you for this."
My response, "You're getting paid to ask me the questions. Don't think for a minute that I'll sit here without pay answering your questions."
……………………………………………………………………………………………
You know, you should call my neighbor instead.... I'm getting cable free from him!
……………………………………………………………………………………………
Try this one; The Next time AT&T, MCI, Sprint, etc. calls, listen to their opening spew, and tell them with great enthusiasm "That sounds GREAT!, wait... can you hold for a minute?....." Leave the phone off the hook until they hang up. I've heard that AT&T held for 13 minutes on someone. How's THAT for turning the tables on the phone company!

spectre · 06-15-2003, 05:07 PM

cchris, that was awesome. This was the thread that I missed the most from the crash. Thanks for bringing it back.

Fremen · 08-30-2003, 03:43 AM

Wow! My favorite post from v3! In most of its'....forest green and off white glory!
Ahhh, good memories.

cchris · 08-30-2003, 04:13 AM

Ha ha
A legacy has been left.

They now ask for personal details before hooking you up.

There must be others out there.

Anyone up for it?

Fremen · 08-30-2003, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cchris

They now ask for personal details before hooking you up.

Really? That sucks big donkey nuts!
What's with people and their "no fun" policies?

hu-man · 08-30-2003, 05:01 AM

That is SO funny! I really laughed my ass off.
They took off the livechat thing, though. Now there's an email-answering service instead, sadly. I'd love to have fucked them over big time.
Thanks for this!

So... anal?

Munku · 08-30-2003, 09:17 AM

The whole threads funny, but I didn't have to stop breathing and hold my mouth closed to prevent spewing of soda, until I got to:

"You know, you should call my neighbor instead.... I'm getting cable free from him! "

BubblegumTeflon · 08-31-2003, 01:25 AM

omgomg Brodie came back!!! Too bad they chopped him into pieces. Now he's off to the big wood chipper in the sky. . .

unoaman · 08-03-2004, 07:19 AM

What a great thread, one that we all deal with one way or another on an almost daily basis. Wonder what happened to it? Oh well, it's UNOAMAN to the rescue!

Heard a great one on phone companys the other day. The fellow said a company offered like 7 cents a minute on long distance calls. After a little conversation, he asked what date would they be sending the check each month? When they said they werent sending him any checks, he replied that you said you were going to give me 7 cents a minute...now when are you sending the money?

jwoody · 08-03-2004, 07:56 AM

CLEAR!

Nice revival unoaman, this is one of my all-time forgotten faves.

04-21-2003, 09:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
KWSN green	Realtime Screwing With a Spammer... again Let me just say, that I owe this entire concept to Marco. His entries were a LOT funnier than this one. I'm pretty much just posting this to restart this whole thing. Can you give us some more, marco? Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Bob' Bob: Hello, how can I help you? you: Hey bob you: is Brodie there? Bob: Hey. Bob: No. Brodie go Bye bye. you: really. you: Where is he now? Bob: On desert wind. you: ... you: Do they have liveperson chat there? Bob: ! Bob: I'm alive. you: Really. Bob: ! you: Well damn. I miss Brodie. Bob: We all miss him. you: How about Marco, is he there? Bob: Cherished, was he. Bob: If I had known one by such a name, then maybe. you: Hmm... you: In that case... you: Is Brodie there? Bob: Nevertheless, I still ponder. Bob: What's in the case? you: ...right Bob: Screw Brodie! I want to know what's in the case bud. you: You screwed Brodie? you: Well, no wonder he doesn't work there anymore Bob: Don't try to play my game bud. you: I mean, if I was going to work everyday and getting screwed by some guy named Bob, I'd quit Bob: Brodie no quit. you: Ah... so you KILLED him after you raped him you: I don't blame you... that's the best way to assure they won't talk Brodie: Hey dude! Brodie: It's me... Brodie: Brodie bro! you: Hey Brodie! Brodie: Hey man! you: I think that you should stay away from Bob Brodie: What's goin on yo? you: He's trying to screw you you: then dismember you and put the pieces in a case Brodie: Cool man. Brodie: Bitchen! you: Uhh... I don't consider getting assraped by a guy, then killed and cut into pieces "cool" you: But, if that's your thing... Brodie: I respect that, brotherman! Brodie: word. you: Uhh... right you: Different strokes for different folks, I guess Brodie: So wudup? you: Oh, not much Brodie: word. you: is marco around? Brodie: Um, yeah. you: Really... you: Is he trying to screw you too? Brodie: Um, yeah. Brodie: word. you: So... you: how do Bob and Marco go about screwing you at the same time? Brodie: Special case. you: uhh... you: ok... Brodie: Let me splain. Brodie: Le me splain. you: I'm not sure I actually want to hear his explanation, but go ahead Brodie: First they take me out to dinner... Brodie: Wine and dine me, ya' knowwhatImsayin. Brodie: Then the roller rink. you: right, right. you: ah... so it's like your typical gay porno Brodie: Then Vegas for an all nighter till the dawn. you: That still doesn't explain how they both screw you at once Brodie: Then I soak em up like a sponge. Brodie: I'm a special case. Bob: This is boring. you: By a special case, go you mean you have an asshole with a radius of 10 inches? you: Where the hell did you come from, Bob? Bob: What? you: I was talking to Brodie! Bob: My mom. you: ... Bob: Brodie go bye bye. you: Oh, so you finished with him. you: You're a sick bastard, bob you: you and marco both Bob: I'm feeling pretty good, and I have a father. you: You shouldn't be feeling good you: God hates your kind you: There's a part in the bible about it Bob: You don't know me. you: Thou shalt not gangrape and dismember guys named brodie Bob: Bible means book, bud. Bob: Huh? you: It's one of the commandments! Bob: Is that your personal bible? you: No... it's the new testament you: but I guess you don't read the bible you: Satanist Bob: How new? you: Why would you care Bob: As of April 21st? Bob: 2003? you: You just burn Bibles anyway Bob: Are you being rhetorical? Bob: You don't know me bud. you: No you: But I can tell Bob: Stop reading the dictionary. you: you're a gang-raping satan-worshipper Bob: How eloquent. you: I refuse to talk to you anymore... you sick fuck Bob: Late. Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. __________________ Your arms are broken!

04-21-2003, 09:24 AM	#2 (permalink)
qpid Psycho Location: Detroit	i seem to have forgotten the site url __________________ My army will take over the world join us or be destroyed. I am the Emperor Supreme Join the Revolution! Necrophilia - The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one

04-21-2003, 10:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
KWSN green	www.wellquestintl.com The background: There's a "LivePerson" customer chat there. Marcopolo, when he was spammed by the company, went to the LivePerson chat and made the peoples' lives a living hell. This one here was one that I just did. Not NEARLY as funny as marco's. __________________ Your arms are broken!

04-22-2003, 03:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
ironman Smithers, release the hounds Location: Guatemala, Guatemala	repost it 24747 __________________ If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong

04-22-2003, 03:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
spectre Junkie	This was one of my favorite threads on v3 of the tfp. __________________ "Fuck these chains No goddamn slave I will be different" ~ Machine Head

04-21-2003, 10:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
zmbabwe Loser Location: Knoxville, Tennessee	what was that taken from?

04-21-2003, 10:26 AM	#5 (permalink)
zmbabwe Loser Location: Knoxville, Tennessee	wow, I gotta try that, thanks.

04-22-2003, 06:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
24747 Upright Location: Sydney	I have the entire text to the thread if anyone want's me to repost it.

04-22-2003, 04:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
Zello Crazy Location: Vincennes, IN	This thread back on V3 rocked. Love to see some new material hehe __________________ Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own list.

04-30-2003, 08:42 AM	#10 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	OK,I hope no-one minds if I repost the whole box and dice from the old site.It is without the posters names but you all know who you are. Thanks for creating this Marco. PART ONE: Realtime Screwing with a spammer Got this in my mail today so I thought I would check it out . Bloussant - The all-natural breast enhancement - gradually augment the size and shape of your breasts using a formula that promotes a healthy transformation. With Bloussant breast enhancement, adding inches to your bust is now a less expensive alternative to costly surgery. Bloussant offers a non-surgical solution to attaining fuller, firmer breasts with the help of a balanced combination of safe, all-natural ingredients. This formula helps you look and feel your best and delivers beautiful results in just weeks. Guaranteed for 60 days! Chat with Brodie now on LIVE PERSON Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Brodie' Brodie: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Can bloosant really make my tits bigger ? Brodie: yes you: How does it work ? Brodie: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process. Brodie: Bloussant comes in tablets. You take just two in the morning and two at night each day. you: Will it help me get laid ? Brodie: that has nothing to do with tihs product you: Does too Brodie: really and what would that be? you: If I had bigger tits that makes my chances of getting laid better, right? Brodie: well then you have answered your own question you: Does it work on a penis too ? Brodie: NO you: Why not ? Brodie: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process. you: Oh stop with the automated responses. Wanna screw? Brodie: no you: Are you a lesbian ? Brodie: no I am a man you: Cool , I'm gay . A/S/L ? Brodie: What is A/S/L? you: Age/sex/location but I already know your sex Brodie: so wouldn't that be A/L you: True, I didn't properly introduce myself. My name is marcopolo Brodie: Don't you have anything better to do with your pathetic time? you: Not really, you emailed me first Brodie: did you buy our product? you: Like I buy spam Brodie: there are actually certain sites for people like you you: What sites are those? Brodie: would you like to leave freely or get booted buy me? Brodie: GOODBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you: You spelled bye wrong. you: Do you get payed for this shit? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. I don't think Brodie likes me . Imma go for round 2 . What should I ask this time ? Dammit , he hung up on me again . Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Brodie' Brodie: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: You hung up on me . Brodie: What product are you referring to? you: Cut it out Brodie , you never told me the sites that are for people like me . Brodie: sorry guy Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Jeez ... I must be one butt-ugly woman ! Round 3 ? Just can't take a joke . Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Brodie' you: Hi Brodie ! Brodie: Hello, how can I help you? you: You can start by giving me the sites that are for people like me . Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. A new guy is on there named Jay : Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Jay' Jay: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hi may I speak to " Brodie "? Jay: excuse me? you: I was just talking to brodie a minute ago on here . Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Well Jay is no fun . Please wait for a site operator to respond. All operators are currently assisting others. Thanks for your patience. An operator will be with you shortly. All operators are currently assisting others. Thanks for your patience. An operator will be with you shortly. You are now chatting with 'Jay' Jay: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hi Jay, is Brodie around ? Jay: there is no brodie here you: Did he get fired already ? Jay: I am not sure what you are talking about you: Sorry, I was mind gasping. Is marcopolo there ? Jay: there is no marcopolo here either you: Do you get to surf for porn at work ? Any good links for people like me ? Jay: no Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Well maybe one more time ... Eugene is no fun at all : Please wait for a site operator to respond. Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'eugene' you: What kind of hot sauce is the best for buffalo wings ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Maybe I can get brodie again ... OK , I think they caught on to me ... Spiderman: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Is anyone there ? you: Hello ? you: I have a question about bloussant Spiderman: Yes...??? you: What does it do for my breasts ? Spiderman: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process. you: Will it work for me , if I'm past 40 ? you: I'm past menopause Spiderman: There are no age limits with Bloussant you: actually, one of my tits is a little cock-eyed. Will bloussant help straighten it back? you: it points up and to the left Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. You are not currently in a chat session. Call me a glutton for punishment but I have to go in ONE MORE TIME ! I think Michelle likes me ... Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Michelle' Michelle: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hi Michelle you: What's this blowfant stuff? Michelle: Bloussant is an all natural, 100% natural herbal breast enhancement system that is quickly becoming the number one alternative to costly and potentially dangerous breast enhancement surgery. With Bloussant it's possible to increase your bust up to two full cup sizes and you'll have a much firmer feel. Best of all it's completely safe and natural! you: I spelled it wrong, sorry, it works? Michelle: Yes Bloussant does work you: Exactly how does it work? Michelle: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process. you: Have you tried it ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Alright , I must find out if Michelle's tiities are bigger because of blowfant ! OK , I went back hoping they would forget who I was ... Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Donna' Donna: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: hello? Donna: yes you: I have a few Qs about your stuff Donna: ok you: I had a baby 2 months ago and am still nursing . Can I use blousant to make my breasts as big as they were when I was pregnant ? Donna: As long as you are not presently breastfeeding or pregnant you: presently as in right now? Donna: yes you: cause I'm not now but will in a few hours, is that okay ? Donna: Bloussant comes in capsules. You take just two in the morning and two at night each day. Donna: what? you: and I can nurse in between ? you: my kid's a big eater Donna: What exactly is your question? you: can I take your product even though I am still nursing? Donna: no you: what about later? Donna: Iwould recommend with any health questions like that, you take the pills with you to your doctor's office and have him monitor your use of it. you: okay - do you have anything to help sore nipples? you: some cream or something? Donna: no you: last Q - will stretchaway get rid of these ugly stretch marks? you: my husbands says I look like a wringled brown bag you: he's an insensitive pig Donna: Stretchaway is a cream not a cover-up. Apply Stretchaway twice a day for three weeks or longer depending on severity and you'll be amazed as the stretchmarks vanish. After that, taper off to once a day or once every other day to keep your skin looking great. Donna: Stretchaway is 100% natural with no reported side effects Donna: We have a 30 day money back guarantee with Stretchaway that is legal bonding. If you are unsatisfied with the product for any reason, simply return the unused portion within 30 days for a full product refund. you: is that a yes? you: what does legal bonding mean? Donna: It mean there is no way we could break that contract unless you pass the 30 day clause. you: don't you mean "legally binding?" you: hello? Donna: I'm sorry I am not the one who makes the script. you: stupid lawyers you: my husband is a lawyer Donna: ok you: since you don't sell one, can you recommend a cream for sore nipples ? Donna: no you: coca butter doesn't work for shit you: any body else there know of something I can use? Donna: no you: what about you ? do you ever get sore nipples ? Donna: no you: you're lucky! take my advice and if you have kids, DON'T NURSE! Donna: I'm going to go ahead and let you go since you do not have anymore serious questions about our products. you: I thought you were looking up an answer Donna: So did you have any other serious questions? you: yes I do but you don't seem to care - what makes you think you can treat a new mother like this? Donna: Like what, I am just trying to keep this conversation going. you: like being rude and talking to your other operator friends about me Donna: what? you: i hope you're all getting a good laugh at my expense you: I have a serious sore nipple problem and you think it's a joke Donna: I'm sorry if you have gotten the wrong idea. you: it's not your fault - I'm just so emotional right now you: can you check one last time for nipple cream ? Donna: I already told you I cannot help you, but if you have any other questions about our products I'll stay on with you. you: the little fart is crying his head off which means he needs to nurse again - i don't think I can take this you: wish me luck ... Donna: Good luck Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Shortly after I ran into Dirk : Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Dirk ' you: Hello! Dirk : Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? Dirk : hi you: Do you have Grey Poupon? Dirk : no but we do have ener-x Dirk : would you like some you: Hmm. Ener-x, eh? Dirk : ? Dirk : ya you: Does that give the hard-on that Grey Poupon does? Dirk : good stuff you: I see. you: Hmm. you: I'll look into that. I need to switch brands. Dirk : Ener-X is a combination of twelve natural herbs, each one targeted for a different aspect of sexual performance. It is an all herbal solution for increasing your sex drive and performance. It not only gives you more energy in your daily life, it will give you more sexual energy and desire and firmer longer lasting erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural and is becoming the #1 alternative to dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra. you: But, is it edible? Dirk : its a pill so i hope so you: Hmm. I was hoping it was a "rub on" thing. you: For, uh, foreplay purposes. Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. You are not currently in a chat session. Dirk does not play well with others ... They take a lickin ' Please wait for a site operator to respond. All operators are currently assisting others. Thanks for your patience. An operator will be with you shortly. All operators are currently assisting others. Thanks for your patience. An operator will be with you shortly. You are now chatting with 'Lance' Lance: Hello, how can I help you? you: Hi, is Brodie around ? Lance: no you: He just gave me advice about premature ejaculation and sent me here . Lance: Ener-X comes in tablets. You take 2 a day, one in the morning and one at night. You'll begin to feel an energy boost in 2-3 days. It takes about 2-3 weeks for the product to build up enough in your system to recieve the full sexual benefits. Lance: Ener-X is a combination of twelve natural herbs, each one targeted for a different aspect of sexual performance. It is an all herbal solution for increasing your sex drive and performance. It not only gives you more energy in your daily life, it will give you more sexual energy and desire and firmer longer lasting erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural and is becoming the #1 alternative to dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra. you: I'm kinda overwieght too Lance: http://www.wellquestintl.com you: Cool, thanks, Lance Lance: No problem, if you need any more assistance, I?ll be here! you: My wife is having a vaginal problem . Any good sites for that ? Lance: no Lance: Ener-X for Women is a special sexual enhancement formula designed for women. This all natural supplement is designed with special herbs to arouse women. Dong Quai is referred to as the "female Ginseng", with hormone like actions. Korean Ginseng handles stress (mental and physical) and is known as the "sexual rejuvenator." Combined with natural aphrodisiacs, she will have greater sexual drive to match your increased desire. Combined with natural aphrodisiacs, Ener-X for Women provides women with a greater sexual drive and increased desire. you: Have you seen Episode 2 of Star Wars ? Lance: no you: It beats Return of the Phantom Lance: ok Lance: no Lance: Bye! Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. I'm wondering if all these people are one ? OK last one , they're getting to easy ... Weenie Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Spider-Man2' Spider-Man2: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Does Blowcunt cause cancer? Spider-Man2: no you: Do you have proof? Spider-Man2: For questions regarding clinical studies, you can fax in a request at (213) 212-1518. However, we monitored an independent CLINICAL STUDY of the Bloussant which showed that of all the women tested the smallest increase in two months was .88 of a cup size (90% of one cup) and the largest increase was 2.66 cup sizes or 2 2/3 cups. The average of all women tested in the Independent Clinical Study was a 1.77 increase or 1 3/4 cup sizes in two months. This was a controlled test with the women taking two capsules twice a day. This is the key. You must remember to take two Bloussant capsules twice a day, every day to see proper results. you: Auto reply Spider you: Is Michelle around? Spider-Man2: you like those don't you you: Those what? Spider-Man2: auto replies you: They are old. Shows no originality. Spider-Man2: We accpet payments in the form of any Mastercard, Visa or Discover credit card, by using a Atm/Debit card (that has a Visa or Mastercard logo on it), by E-Check from your checking account or by mailing in a money order. We do not accept C.O.D's you: Do you accept paypal? Spider-Man2: In a double-blind study, better than 80% of the women in the controlled study saw inprovement in the first two weeks. According to the study, all women saw results from the smallest increase of .88 of one cup size, and the largest increase of 2.66 cup sizes. So the Average increase in the study was 1.77 cup sizes. The key to seeing positive results is to take two pills in the morning and two pills at evening/night. you: Ok, how about a bad check? Spider-Man2: We accpet payments in the form of any Mastercard, Visa or Discover credit card, by using a Atm/Debit card (that has a Visa or Mastercard logo on it), by E-Check from your checking account or by mailing in a money order. We do not accept C.O.D's you: Is Michelle still there? She sounded kinda interested in doing anal Spider-Man2: I'm glad you brought that up, many of our customers want to discuss it with their other half, however, what most people do is get the product and go through the product information together. In most cases they make a decision to use it over the guarantee period, putting the product to the test themselves. This way the decision is made by how you feel, if it works like it's suppose to I'm sure you'd agree it's worth the money, right? If for any reason you are unsatisfied, you can always send the unused portion back for our risk-free money back guarantee. you: Your screwing her in right now, aren';t you? Spider-Man2: What product are you referring to? you: The boobfont one you: Are still there or did you suffer a massive heart attact ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. I only wished that I asked ;" Do your testing lab rats get stuck in their mazes, what with their size 36DD racks ?" Whew ! I feel MUCH better now . WAIT ! I spy with my little eye MORE SPAM ! I hope they have a chat line Did I say 5 minutes? More like 10 seconds. I guess Sam doesn't like the younguns' Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Sam' Sam: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: hi sam! you: i was curious about this product Sam: Which product are you referring to? you: umm, the boob one Sam: Are you talking about Bloussant? you: yeah! you: sorry, forgot how to spell it Sam: What would you like to know? you: well, i was wondering if it was something i needed. i'm 5-1 and i have a 36C, but my boyfriend likes this other girl with bigger boobs, so i was thinking about making mine bigger Sam: Have you explored any other options in breast enhancement? you: do you think if i wait then mine will get bigger? i'm only 13 you: my boyfriend always looks at Kristen but i don't want him to and i thought maybe this would make him stop you: what do you think? Sam: There are hormones in your breast that have not fully matured yet...These hormones don't become fully mature until at least 18 you: but i don't want to have to wait that long you: won't this make those hormones things work faster? Sam: None of our products can be sold to you anyway....You have to be at least 18 to purchase any of them you: i think i'm old enuf, though. there's grass on the field if you get my drift you: hehe Sam: I understand however I'm really not suppose to be having this conversation with you ...so I will actually have to end this now Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Pat' Pat: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: hi Pat can I have some info about your products. you: does an enhanced breast size mean more milk yield? Pat: no Pat: We do not recommend using Bloussant while pregnant or breastfeeding. you: who said anything about pregnancy and breast feeding. i want to use it on my cows Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Damn , Elsie's Milk yield has not been up ta' par . __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery Last edited by cchris; 04-30-2003 at 09:00 AM..

04-30-2003, 08:50 AM	#11 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	PART TWO: Donna really is good-natured . "Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Donna' Donna: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hey, I got cut off! you: What happened? you: I was asking you about Enersex. you: And you were saying something about the effects being temporary. you: And then I asked you about the cheapest diet formulae to use and then the screen froze! you: Did I say something bad? Donna: No Donna: I dont know how you got cut off you: Oh, well that's a relief . you: But what's the cheapest formula that you have ? you: And if I take the erection pills or cream or whatever and then go off and then go back on and then change my mind and then go off, am I going to look like the Hindenburg crashing all the time when I want sex ? you: Because it's like with breast implants - I don't want to mess with any sensitive tissues ! Donna: With concerns such as those, we recommend taking the pills to your doctor and having him or her monitor your use on it you: But I thought these pills were already tested and are perfectly safe! Why do I need my doctor to help me ? you: You have your doubts as to how safe these pills are, don't you . Donna: Ener-X needs to be at sufficient levels in your system to provide you with it's powerful sexual benefits. Once you stop taking Ener-X, it is quickly flushed out of your system. you: I'll bet you call them all sorts of funny names around the office, like "Enersex" or "The Miami Vice 24-Hour Diet" or "Retchaway", huh? Donna: You have been on this site before havent you ? you: No! Donna: All day long you: I just want to know that you believe in your product and that you're selling me something safe! Donna: You love this site! you: I have these concerns and I want to be sure that I'm not throwing my money out the window! Donna: What product are you interested in? you: And you're making fun of me. Donna: Never! you: All of them! I have a lot of self-esteem issues I have to deal with. Donna: I am a professional you: Professional meanie! you: So when you see "Silence of the Lambs" and you get to the part when the maniac says " It rubs the lotion on its skin !", you just laugh and laugh - because it's a pill, not a lotion . Donna: I am deeply sorry If I have offended you. I would be happy to help you out with any serious questios that you have you: I have a lot of serious questions. Donna: I have never seen that movie Donna: ok, Well start with one and we will work from there you: Such as, if my girlfriend is getting saggy, could I crush up some breast enlargement formulae so that she'll be a bit firmer and so that I can finally introduce her to my friends? you: I mean, mom's beginning to ask questions ... Donna: Bloussant comes in capsules so you can open them up and pour the contents into a tea you: Do they give all the clinical guinea pigs for the breast and penis creams jobs answering questions like this? you: My girlfriend doesn't like tea...oh, unless it's MR. T! He pities the fool! you: You sure are good-natured to put up with all this hokum. Donna: No, the test subjects stay in the lab you: Do you have a lot of rats running around, getting caught in mazes because of their enormous 36DD racks ? you: You're not doing things like grafting penises onto manta rays and great white sharks, are you ? you: Because the last thing you need is for a shark to bite you and then try to hump you. Donna: No Donna: I have to go Donna: bye you: Why? I was just becoming informed! Donna: talk to you later you: You like The Tubes? Donna: im going on a break Donna: later on you: What are you going to break ? you: Is marcopolo around ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. You are not currently in a chat session." This chick wants me bad. It's pretty obvious. You are now chatting with 'Ashley' you: hi you: hello ? you: Brodie ?? Ashley: How can I help you? Ashley: He went on his break you: Good, he's a bastard . how are you ? Ashley: Fine, you? you: pretty good. thanks Ashley: Anytime, how can I help you? you: Tell me a little bit about this ener-x. I'm asking for a friend of course, my stuff works just fine . Ashley: Ener-X is a combination of twelve natural herbs, each one targeted for a different aspect of sexual performance. It is an all herbal solution for increasing your sex drive and performance. It not only gives you more energy in your daily life, it will give you more sexual energy and desire and firmer longer lasting erection. Ener-X is completely safe and natural and is becoming the #1 alternative to dangerous pharmaceuticals like Viagra. you: wow, you type mighty fast , I like that in a woman . Ashley: Why thank you you: So, you wanna hook up? Ashley: I'm sorry, if I weren't at work I would seriously think about it, but since I am at work, I can't Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. I know she wants me NOW ! You are now chatting with 'Ashley' you: I think we got disconnected. So, what are you wearing ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Ashley' you: Ashley, I love you . Don't treat me this way ... anal ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Maybe not ... inspired by marcopolo Okay marco.... bored at work.... here goes...BTW... I asked for Brodie since you highly recommend him, but Ben didn't know where he was... Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Ben' Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hi Ben Ben: How can I help you? you: My friend suggested that I speak with Brodie... says he has some good information about the blowcunt breast enhancer product. Can you put me in contact with him? Ben: I do not have such a product here sorry you: don't you sell the breast enhancing product? Ben: Yes ,it is call BLOUSSANT you: right right.. sorry... have a hard time remembering the name you: my friend suggested that I talk to Mr. Brodie, said he was really friendly and knowledgeable, can you put me in contact with him or at least let me know when he's around to help me? you: I have some questions about the ingredients Ben: I'm sorry, he is not here right now is there something I can help you with? you: well it says here there's watercress in the ingredients, I'm allergic to fresh watercress, and I'm wondering if I'll have an allergic reaction to it if it's in capsule form Ben: Possibly....If you are allergic to watercress I do not suggest taking this product without consulting your doctor first you: okay you: also, it says that it increases size without increasing weight. How is that possible? Laws of matter always apply, you know conservation of matter and such, what does it do just fill it up with air? Ben: These are not water weight pills you: well then how does it get bigger without adding weight? Ben: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is re-stimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant re-stimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process. you: right, but when I was a teen I was eating like a MoFo, and I gained weight albeit it was pretty well distributed if you know what I mean... all the curves are in the right places except well you know... my boobs you: I'm still not understanding how my boobs will get bigger without adding weight to my frame Ben: These will not cause you to gain any weight anywhere EXCEPT your breast you: ooh... but your website says,"No. Bloussant does not increase your overall body weight, or cause you to gain additional weight." you: which is why I figured they would like fill up with air or gas you: you know.. like balloons you: since air doesn't have any real "weight" you: in fact if somehow you guys could get the bloussant product to cause boobs to fill up with helium, wow! you could claim that women could even LOSE weight!!!! you: think of the millions that would rack up you: increase breast size AND lose weight you: so then how do my boobs get bigger without adding weight? Ben: Because some of the other ingredients (such as the Black Cohosh and the Wild Yam) produce progesterone in the body to balance out your hormones, thus eliminating the room for would-be adverse reactions. you: so you mean to say, I gain weight in my boobs and then lose weight say in my thighs or butt? Ben: If you're on a diet plan or somehow losing weight at the time of taking the Bloussant, then yes. you: but I can't seem to wrap my mind around that fact that I'll get bigger boobs but not gain weight... seems too contradictory you: my friend's boobs, she's a D cup.. man those things are heavy Ben: Well, you'd have to see it to believe it, right? you: I don't wanna get that big. you: sure. but you're a guy, you don't take the pills yourself do you? you: do you have pictures to look at? I mean you know.. ones before and after that are naked boobies? Ben: Not all women will get that big, and not all women want to get that big. That's why you take it until you reach your desired size. you: oh.. so once i gain a cup size I stop taking it? you: I'm a B and want to be a C cup you: so how do I see it to believe it? Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean? you: yeah I see what you mean. you guys have before and after pictures like at the doctors office? My doctor, he's got whole binders full of naked boobies to compare. Do you guys have pictures of the testimonal people? those are some hum dingers those pictures Ben: I am sorry I do not have access to that information at this terminal. Ben: You need to contact our customer service department. Ben: Their phone number is 1-800-610-7758. Their hours are Monday through Friday 5:00am to 9:30pm. Pacific Time. you: you know those strippers with those humungo boob jobs??? he says they can weigh up to 20-30lbs each... can you imagine carrying a backpack of 60lbs everywhere you go? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator I think Donna has had enough: Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Donna' Donna: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hi. may I speak to marcopolo please ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Please wait for a site operator to respond. Sam I Am ... You are now chatting with 'Sam' Sam: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Yeah ... I was wondering about one of your products . the blusenet stuff ? Sam: what would you like to know? you: How good does that stuff work ... I mean ... like how big will it make boobs grow and stuff ? Sam: Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process. Sam: Bloussant comes in tablets. You take just two in the morning and two at night each day. Sam: Bloussant comes with a 60 day, no questions asked money back guarantee. If for any reason you are not 100% satisfied with the product, simply return whatever you haven't used within 60 days from the day you receive the product for a full refund of the entire product cost. you: yeah ... but how big will they get? you: Cause I don't want them getting too big you know ... Sam: up to 3 cup sizes you: What if it goes out of control and my breasts get too big ? Is there any way to make them smaller again ? Sam: just stop taking it once your satisfied you: but what if i think maybe i want them real big.. but then after they're really big i want them smaller.. what would i do then? Sam: Our price for a two month supply of Bloussant is $229.95. We also have some great specials going on right now. When you purchase three months of Bloussant, we give you an additional month Free! That 4 month promotionl would be only $344.95. Our next step up is an 8 month package, which normally runs for $919.80, would be only $629.95. That's a savings of $289! Our best deal is our year supply: It's normally $1379.70, but right now we're running a promotion where is $914.95, and you're actually saving, $464.75. Remember that shipping and handling is already included in the price and you always have that 2 month money back guarantee on all the packages offered. you: A years supply ? How big would they grow in a year ?? Sam: it all depends on the women you: So if I took it for 2 months ... maybe nothing would happen ? And then I'd have to order more ? Sam: most women see results in 2 months you: Does it not work for everyone ? Sam: Bloussant does not work for all women, but for most women it works very well providing a significant increase in breast size. Tests show that most women will increase their breast size from one to two cups. For those unfortunate women that Bloussant doesn't work for, our product is guaranteed and the return rate on our product is only about 15%. you: Unfortunate women? Are you saying there's something wrong with me having small breasts ? you: because that's what it sounds like ... Sam: no you: Sounds like you're sexually harassing me, trying to get me to buy your product ... that's what it sounds like ... you: Trying to make me feel inferior or something because my breasts are small ... is that it ? Sam: If you would like you can give us a call at 1-800-991-2854 you: why? so you can insult me some more? you: Do you eat green eggs and ham ? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator. I got Ben again.. he didn't want to talk much... Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Ben' Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hey there ben.. Ben: Hello, how can I help you? you: i'm looking for information about bloussant. Ben: Are you interested in this product for yourself, or someone else? you: well... you: for myself actually you: but I've been looking all over the internet for testimonials and I can only find the ones on your websites Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean? you: er and this one lawyer that's looking for people who have had problems with bloussant you: really what I'd like to see are before and after pictures.. but topless ones Chat session has been terminated by the site operator wow.. Ben really doesn't want to talk to me... Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Ben' Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: Hey there ben.. Ben: Hello, how can I help you? you: i'm looking for information about bloussant. Ben: Are you interested in this product for yourself, or someone else? you: well... you: for myself actually you: but I've been looking all over the internet for testimonials and I can only find the ones on your websites Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean? you: er and this one lawyer that's looking for people who have had problems with bloussant you: really what I'd like to see are before and after pictures.. but topless ones Chat session has been terminated by the site operator luck of the draw got Ben again, he thinks he's a hacker.... Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Ben' Ben: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you? you: how come you keep popping up in this window? you: i just closed the window and here you are again you: are you stalking me? Ben: I am sorry I do not have access to that information at this terminal. Ben: You need to contact our customer service department. Ben: Their phone number is 1-800-610-7758. Their hours are Monday through Friday 5:00am to 9:30pm. Pacific Time. you: I'm gonna call the cops if you keep popping up on my windows Ben: I'm not surprised to hear that. Many people who call aren't sure they want to move ahead right away with their purchase for one reason or another, and that's okay, however, in most cases no matter how long you think about it you really have no more information that you have now unless you get the product and start using it, and that's why we give you a guarantee. We know sometimes you can't make a decision unless its actually working, and for most people that makes a lot more sense, do you see what I mean? you: seriously, I'm gonna call the cops and tell them you are harrassing me. you: I was just reading my email about breast enhancing supplements and you keep popping up on my computer you: you must be one of those hacker guys from the moives Ben: Too bad, you have NO PLACE TO RUN, A HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you: well you better not try to steal my credit cards and other information. you: I got your name buddy you: yeah. You're Ben. that's right... you: hah! I know your name... Ben: Hmm, do you have a discover card? you: yes why? Ben: Does it start with 6011? And is it swiped clear on the back? you: yeah... how do you know that? Ben: Cuz I stooollee it!!! Ben: AH, HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!! you: see.. you admit it! you: i got this recorded Ben: Yes, and I'd get away with it too, if it wasn't for these pesky kids! you: pesky kids? you: i don't have any kids Ben: You are a kid, and you've got me red handed. you: i'm not kid. i'm a grown woman Ben: As an added bonus for ordering today, you become a Wellquest Preferred Buyer and are entitled to discounts and free bonuses. First of all, you are going to receive 1,041 free long distance minutes; that's 1,041 free minutes to use for the next 10 days, for just an activation fee of $1.00. The phone card is from QX Telecom, a long distance provider with possibly the lowest rates in the country. These minutes can be used anytime, day or night, 7 days a week from any phone: home, cell, office, hotel, or wherever. Each month, after the 10-day free trial, you'll receive an additional 1,041 minutes for the incredibly low rate of 3.8 cents per minute. You'll be charged $39.90 plus tax per month plus a $3.90 service fee. If you don't want the service after using the free minutes or want to stop any time in the future, just call the toll free 800 number that comes with your free 1,041 minutes, OK? you: how do you know my discover card number? Chat session has been terminated by the site operator __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

04-30-2003, 08:56 AM	#12 (permalink)
Go_AVS CSU RAM fan Location: Hockey time....	KWSN - thanks for bringing this back. Glad the 3.0 version was saved. The bad thing about this thread is it makes me laugh out loud which is not a good thing at work. but keep it up!! __________________ MIA...

06-14-2003, 04:18 PM	#15 (permalink)
cowudders14 Bringer of good Moos... Location: Midlands, UK	Sooo funny! Thanks! I looked up the wellquest website and, surprise surprise, it no longer appears to exist! Is this temporary - anyone else been able to access it recently? :-) __________________ Moo! I'm mooey!

06-14-2003, 04:23 PM	#16 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	They all had nervous breakdowns and gave up. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

06-14-2003, 04:45 PM	#17 (permalink)
KWSN green	I hate Alyssa. Really. What a bitch. I also hate Bob. It's impossible to piss him off. __________________ Your arms are broken!

06-15-2003, 01:13 AM	#18 (permalink)
T.U.B. Crazy Location: Belgium	This is hillarious! the wellquest site is back online, but no more 'liveperson' chat... The above chatlogs, from how manny people are they? I did'nt see the post on the old board. __________________ Amerika by Franz Kafka “As Karl Rossman, a poor boy of sixteen who had been packed off to America by his parents because a servant girl had seduced him and got herself a child by him, stood on the liner slowly entering the harbour of New York, a sudden burst of sunshine seemed to illumine the Statue of Liberty, so that he saw it in a new light, although he had sighted it long before. The arm with the sword rose up as if newly stretched aloft, and round the figure blew the free winds of heaven.”

06-15-2003, 09:31 AM	#19 (permalink)
Eviltree Psycho Location: British Columbia	hah, that'll teach those spammers.

06-15-2003, 10:11 AM	#20 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Do try this at home. If an insurance company calls trying to sell you insurance, act very surprised and delighted. Say, "You want to sell me insurance? I've been trying to get insurance for YEARS but nobody will sell me any!" ………………………………………………………………………………………….. One called trying to sell me accidental death and dismemberment insurance. I said "oh my god that's awful, is something going to happen to me?" After she got me calmed down, I asked if my dogs could be beneficiaries. After consulting with someone else I was told no. I then said "Well who's going to look after my dogs if I die?" She didn't know and she hung up. ………………………………………………………………………………………….. Homeowner's Insurance? you should have called me before the tree fell on my house. ………………………………………………………………………………………….. Whenever I get a call regarding a survey -- anything to what TV shows I watch to who I'll be voting for -- I first ask, "how much are you going to pay me for participating in your survey?" After this, there's usually a long pause on the other end, then usually the answer, "we don't pay you for this." My response, "You're getting paid to ask me the questions. Don't think for a minute that I'll sit here without pay answering your questions." …………………………………………………………………………………………… You know, you should call my neighbor instead.... I'm getting cable free from him! …………………………………………………………………………………………… Try this one; The Next time AT&T, MCI, Sprint, etc. calls, listen to their opening spew, and tell them with great enthusiasm "That sounds GREAT!, wait... can you hold for a minute?....." Leave the phone off the hook until they hang up. I've heard that AT&T held for 13 minutes on someone. How's THAT for turning the tables on the phone company! __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

06-15-2003, 05:07 PM	#21 (permalink)
spectre Junkie	cchris, that was awesome. This was the thread that I missed the most from the crash. Thanks for bringing it back. __________________ "Fuck these chains No goddamn slave I will be different" ~ Machine Head

08-30-2003, 03:43 AM	#22 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Wow! My favorite post from v3! In most of its'....forest green and off white glory! Ahhh, good memories. __________________ Google

08-30-2003, 04:13 AM	#23 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Ha ha A legacy has been left. They now ask for personal details before hooking you up. There must be others out there. Anyone up for it? __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

08-30-2003, 05:01 AM	#25 (permalink)
hu-man The one that got away Location: Over the hill and far away	That is SO funny! I really laughed my ass off. They took off the livechat thing, though. Now there's an email-answering service instead, sadly. I'd love to have fucked them over big time. Thanks for this! So... anal?

08-30-2003, 09:17 AM	#26 (permalink)
Munku Lost Location: Florida	The whole threads funny, but I didn't have to stop breathing and hold my mouth closed to prevent spewing of soda, until I got to: "You know, you should call my neighbor instead.... I'm getting cable free from him! "

08-31-2003, 01:25 AM	#27 (permalink)
BubblegumTeflon Insane	omgomg Brodie came back!!! Too bad they chopped him into pieces. Now he's off to the big wood chipper in the sky. . .

08-03-2004, 07:19 AM	#28 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	What a great thread, one that we all deal with one way or another on an almost daily basis. Wonder what happened to it? Oh well, it's UNOAMAN to the rescue! Heard a great one on phone companys the other day. The fellow said a company offered like 7 cents a minute on long distance calls. After a little conversation, he asked what date would they be sending the check each month? When they said they werent sending him any checks, he replied that you said you were going to give me 7 cents a minute...now when are you sending the money?

08-03-2004, 07:56 AM	#29 (permalink)
jwoody Shackle Me Not Location: Newcastle - England.	CLEAR! Nice revival unoaman, this is one of my all-time forgotten faves. __________________ .