PART FOUR:
You are now chatting with 'Tim'
Tim: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hi,I am interested in the Revo product
Tim: Are there any particular questions that you have?
you: Is it safe to use?
Tim: Of course.
you: It's just that some vibrators hurt,you know.I'm only small,if you know what I mean
you: Hello?
Tim: Its not a vibrator.
you: It's not?It looks like one.
you: How much is it?
Tim: RevoStyler is a motorized, rotation round hairbrush that works for every type of hair. The rotating action of the RevoStyler does the work for you. It styles and straightens even the most difficult hair in less than half the time. The RevoStyler can feather, flick, bob, flip, straighten or curl your hair as it adds body and shine. It really is like an instant hair makeover, and with Revo's patented anti-tangle system, the RevoStyler will not tangle your hair.
Tim: We have an incredible offer for you today. You can have a Revo for just $49.95 plus $9.95 shipping and handling or 2 for the incredible price of just $79.90 plus $19.90 shipping and handling. That is just $29.95 for the second Revo, a savings of $20.
you: Can I convert it into a vibrator?
you: That’s a very cheap option if I can
Tim: You can do whatever you want with it.
Tim: We do not reccomend that though.
you: Does that affect the warranty?
you: Can I still get a refund if it gets wet?
Tim: We are so confident that we offer a 30-day money back guarantee. If for any reason you are not completely satisfied with your RevoStyler, simply return the RevoStyler for a full refund less the shipping and handling.
you: Would it still work ok even though I don't have any hair "down there"?
you: Has it got multiple attachments?
you: hello?
you: Can I speak to your Supervisor please.I think his name is Brodie.Or it might be Marco
you: hello?
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
I got Tim too, he seemed very bored, this took 20 minutes. I like Tim. I want to know where brodie went.
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Tim'
Tim:Hello, how can I help you?
you:hi tim, how are you?
Tim:Im great, how are you?
you:I'm not bad, thanks for asking
Tim:Are there any particular questions that you have?
you:yeah, I'm wondering about your supplements, you know, the ones for the bedroom
Tim:Which product are you referring to?
Tim:We have a few.
you:I think it's tri mega
Tim:Alright...
Tim:What was your question?
you:what's the deal, how does it work
you:Tim, I need help
Tim:You take it 30-60 minutes before any sexual activity.
you:even alone??
Tim:If you would like...
Tim:Thats your choice.
you:would it make that better?
Tim:We offer a 30 day money back guarantee if it doesnt.
you:that's good, what is it going to do for me??
you:I don't find me sexually atractive, will this help?
Tim:Increased stimulation and blood flow and prolonged erection times.
you:but will it make me feel pretty?
you:Maybe I should get the Miami Vice diet first
Tim:It will boost your confidence.
you:That's good, I pretty much stay inside, I'm afraid of things, you know, like ninjas
you:Tim, I'm serious
Tim:Are you schitsophranic?
you:no, I just hate ninjas, you aren't a ninja are you? I just want some boner cream.
Tim:Actually I,m part of the red hand
you:Oh tim, I don't know what that is but I bet it has something to do with Ninjas or stroking it
you id Brodie get you into that?
you:seriously, What if I take a handful of penis pills? will it make my thing explode?
Tim:no ninjas its a marvel superheros ninja clan fights wolverine all the time bring back any memories we got you last week
Tim:It might hurt real bad.
you:Last week?
you:Tim, I'm confused
Tim:I'm sorry about that.
Tim:Maybe you should see a doctor.
you:I just want some boner cream and maybe something to make me stop snoring
Tim:You need more than that.
you:like blowfart, to make my boobs bigger
Tim:Sure.
you:Is Brodie there
you:he told me about the penis creme, and didn't hurt my feelings
Tim:Brodie is not here.
Tim:Is there anything else I can help you with?
you:where is he, he was cool
Tim:I dont even know who that is.
you:yeah, I need to speak to Marcopolo, it's urgent
Tim:Oh, alright.
you:Marco?
Tim:Polo...
you:Oh tim, you are a wily ninja
Tim:I am...
you:What's the deal with Brodie anyways
Tim:I honestly don't know who that is.
you:Is this a coverup, where is brodie
Tim:I dont know a Brodie!
you:Calm down tim, there's no need for exclamation points
Tim:How do you know brodie?
you:we go way back. He knows Marco, I know marco. I just want to talk to brodie
Tim:Hes not working right now.
you id he get fired or killed?
Tim:I really dont know.
you:soylent bloussant is made of people
you:isn't it?
Tim:I dont know what you are talking about.
you:Are you sure?
Tim:Yes.
you:Will trimega work on dogs?
you:I'm not a pervert, just curious>
Tim:I dont know.
you:Who would?
Tim:Stop wasting our time.
you:I'm serious
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
I felt sad and empty at the end
Moe has the greatest sense of humor of ANYONE who works there... listen to this guy play ball...
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Moe'
you: sup
Moe: Hello, how can I help you?
you: be brodie in the hizzouse?
you: he mah dawg, foo
you: you thizzere?
you: i though this was lizzive pizzerson?
you: don't sizzeem as anybody lizzive right nozzow
Moe: how would you say that last one?
you: on nizzevermizzind
you: can I buy some of that boob stuff?
Moe: did you have a question?
Moe: for you?
you: yes
you: it works on guys, yes?
Moe: depends...how old are you?
you: 46
Moe: i doubt that but ok...
you: does it work on the buttocks?
Moe: if you have breast tissue growth glands than yes...it will work for you.
you: because, my ass is too big for me to fit through the doojamb
you: doorjamb rather
you: so I'm thinking, I'll just make it as big as spossible
Moe: "doojamb"?
you: so I can take out the doorjamb when I walk through
Moe: funny....not really...
you: I'm not trying to be
you: Is brodie there?
Moe: i can tell.
you: ooooh, harsh
Moe: does he work herer?
Moe: *here
you: yeah
you: I was just connected with him a minute ago
Moe: that's not possable...
you: says you!
you: maybe he's a chinese slave running out of the company basement!
you: forced to do bloussant tests!
you: You don't know!
you: the company sheilds your eyes from the HORROR!
you: DEFY THE EVEL SYSTEM!
you: Evil, rather
you: damn keyboard
you: do you sell keyboards?
Moe: ok...THAT was funny...
you: FUNNY?
you: HORIFFIC I SAY!
Moe: were you talking to him earlier?
you: yes
you: I was
Moe: well he's not here now and i don't know anyone by that name.
you: really...
you: well
Moe: yup
you: I have another question then
Moe: huh
you: Do you make any products that will let me shoot lasers out of my fingertips?
Moe: that would be pretty nifty
you: indeed
Moe: lol..."nifty"
Moe: you're not on the website...are you?
you: not as nifty as when I hook up my honda civic with five others into a giant killer robot and free brodie from the Bloussant Dungeon!
you: what website
you: because if you mean blacksonblondes.com, I sure as hell am!
Moe: the "wellquestintl" website.
Moe: he he
you: what's "wellquestintl?"
Moe: the makers of bloussant
you: how do you pronounce "intl?"
you: there's a great lack of vowels there
Moe: international
you: then why isn't it spelled international?
Moe: that's too long
you: why, the potential marketing range for Bloussant and the like is incapable of spelling international?
Moe: well i'm guessing that they can...however...they, like myself, are too lazy
Moe: .
you: looks like you're not giving them a lot of credit
you: how would they feel if you told them that?
Moe: well...in actuality...the intl is only for the web address
you: well
Moe: otherwise...i think they would.
you: why don't they get rid of the intl
you: and just make it wellquest?
you: is there already a company named wellquest who has it taken?
Moe: no...i don't think so at least.
you: It is rather apparent that your company's marketing department are full of total dumbasses
Moe: lol
you: Tech support should wage total warfare on advertising
Moe: do you or someone you know personally work here?
you: You have to begin to weed out the bastards slowly before your attack
you: put strychtyne in the water cooler
you: that'll shut their asses up
you: I don't work, per se...
Moe: no...
you: See, I'm in prison
Moe: lol
Moe: what do you mean?
you: the warden lets me use his computer in exchange for...
you: things that I don't enjoy very much
Moe: yer a nut.
you: my old cellmate tells me the trick is to back your rectum with ground glass
you: but then I doubt he'd let me use his computer anymore
you: that sick fuck warden
Moe: what the warden's name?
you: I don't know... he always tells me to call him daddy
Moe: well than...who's yo daddy?
you: are you still talking about the warden or my actualy father
you: for all I know, it could be my father, he blindfolds me every time
you: the bastard
Moe: youy tell me.
you: Naw, it couldn't be me dad
you: he's a necrophiliac
Moe: so beat him down and take his comp.
you: getting a dead woman pregnant was the most amazing thing i've ever seen anyone do
you: i can't beat him down with my hands chained to the ceiling
Moe: i'd pay to see that.
you: a lot of people do
Moe: good point...
you: there's a website somewhere
you: would your company happen to make a rectal guillotine?
Moe: not that i know of...
you: well, they should
you: for my sake
Moe: i could check.
you: do that, please
Moe: ok
Moe: not anymore.
you: god damn
Moe: i think my mom got the last one.
you: lucky mom.
you: do you think she could lend it to me?
Moe: not so lucky goat...
Moe: i suppose.
you: well, goos
you: good rather
you: oh fuck...
you: the warden's coming
Moe: what?
you: i'll come back tomorrow to follow up on that offer.
Moe: RUN!
Moe: ok...c-ya then
you: i'll be off and running, disconnect me yourself
Moe: k
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator
Damn, Alyssa is MEAN!
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hello, I'm Billy Mays! I'm Here to tell you about Oxi-Clean, the Stain Specialist
you: I'm polling all over the internet, asking people what they think of our product!
you: Do you use this product at your office?
Alyssa: No we don't
you: Really?
you: One of your coworkers told me you did, and that we'd get plenty of references from here
you: Perhaps you can connect me with them?
Alyssa: You want to talk to our customer service department. Their number is 1-800-610-7758. They are open Monday-Friday from 5:00am to 9:30pm, Pacific Time.
you: Oh...
you: He said I could get references from the LivePerson chat
you: perhaps you know him?
Alyssa: No I don't know much about this
you: His name is Brodie
you: Does anyone named Brodie do LivePerson chats on this website?
Alyssa: I don't know the person
you: Hmm
you: How about Marco?
Alyssa: I'm sorry I couldn't help you but maybe you could call the customer service or something
you: I can't use the phone here
you: Well... if I can't get references...
you: Can I buy some O-Gel?
you: For my, uh... mother
you: I mean girlfriend
you: my girlfriend
Alyssa: Okay
Alyssa: You want to order some 0-gel
you: yes
you: but not for me
you: for other people
you: that are not me
you: but shipped to my house
you: I want to uhh
you: gift wrap it first
Alyssa: Well they will send it to your house and the box will say *wellquest intrl* on it
Alyssa: and you can wrap it
you: Ok good
you: does it work on the rectum?
Alyssa: Okay I will need to take some information from you
you: because my girlfriend would enjoy that
you: what kind of information?
Alyssa: like your name address phone number and how will you be paying for it
you: Uhm...
Alyssa: and how many month supply do you want to order
you: uhh
you: just a minute
Alyssa: sure
you: Ok, your demeanor is too threatening. I can't take it anymore. I want to use O-gel in my rectum. You forced it out of me with your mind games! But don't let it leak to the press! Do you know how many Ding Kings will go unsold if you do???
Alyssa: get a life
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
Jill is a TRUE player .
Please wait for a site operator to respond .
You are now chatting with 'Jill'
you: Good. I have some very technical questions to ask you about the cream
Jill:I'll try and help...
you:Why are my nipples getting so hard?
Jill:You're not really serious...
you:I AM SO! My nipples ... they're hard and they have this white coating on them!
Jill:Uhhhh, huh... hard, uhhh, nipples with white, uhh... stuff...
you:Not only that, they're getting warped !
Jill:I see...
you:They used to be soft, pink and round !
Jill:huh...
you:Now they really look disgusting !
Jill:I'm sure they do...
you:So I want to know what you're going to do about this!
Jill:I really don't think I can help you. Have you discussed this with your personal physician?
you:Yes I have ! He said I should call you because he thought it was from the cream !
Jill:I see... uhhhh, just why and how does he think the water is
causing this?
you:He said cleaning them in boiling water sometimes does that
Jill:Sounds painful... can't you just sponge them off?
you:Painful?! THE BABY BOTTLE NIPPLES ARE THE ONES I'M TALKING ABOUT !
Jill:Now I understand...
you:Are you going to buy me new ones ?
Jill:Why would we do that?
you:Because your cream ruined these. My baby won't suck them
anymore. He's been sick and I think it's from the white stuff...
he used to really suck...
Jill:May I ask how old your baby is?
you:He's six, going on seven
Jill:Six... and he refuses the bottle? Maybe he's getting a little old
for the bottle...
you: DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!
Jill:I wasn't. How long have you been using these nipples?
you:Since he was born
you: My guess is the white film is from the calcium carbonate
in the water ... kind of like bathtub ring of the nipple ... and
they are hard and warped because of being boiled and bitten for
six years ...
you:So ! You are refusing to pay !
Jill:Well, that's not for me to decide. I was only trying to suggest
they might just be plain worn out.
you:THEY WOULDN'T BE WORN OUT
IF YOUR CREAM WAS ANY GOOD!
Jill:There is really nothing more I can do for you...
you:JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY MONEY?
Jill:Well, why don't you just run down to our main office. There you
can file an insurance claim...
you:What good would that do? Will they give me the money?
Jill:They will investigate and make a judgement whether to settle or
not...
you:Well, you sure haven't been any help! How do I get them to pay
more attention than you have?"
Jill:Just show them your nipples!!
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
well here is my attempt at messing with them..... but my operator bob was too helpful....... hahaha Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Bob'
Bob: Hello, how can I help you?
you: hello bob!
Bob: Hello!
you: I was wondering how much blussant was
you: oh i just clicked it...its kinda high...
Bob: Are you in California?
you: nope michigan
Bob: Our price for a two-month supply of Bloussant is $229.95. We also have a great special going on right now. When you purchase three months of Bloussant, we give you an additional month Free! That 4-month promotional would be only $344.95. Remember that shipping and handling is already included in the price and you always have that 2-month money back guarantee on all the packages offered.
you: if you take it for 4 months then stop will your womans titties shrink back down?
Bob: Just take the pills until you reach your desired results and remember it is an herbal supplement, so some women may need to continue taking Bloussant to maintain some of the firmness and size. And some women will have reached their desired size and no longer need to keep taking Bloussant.
Bob: (WE cannot guarantee results FOREVER.)
you: cause i dont think i could afford to keep buying this stuff
you: shoot
you: is there a good way to tell your wife you want her to take these without her getting her feelings hurt???
you: she crys alot.......
you: dang bob your not being to helpful.
Bob: Sorry...
Bob: I don't know your wife.
you: its not an easy thing here.......... I want her to have bigger tits...
Bob: Has she ever complaine that she is unhappy with her breasts?
you: but dont want her to think that i think her tits are too small
you: no but i am
Bob: Has she ever complained about any part of you?
you: man then to spend 400 bucks and she gets pissed........
you: she says i am fat
Bob: Well?
you: so i went on a diet
you: nothing but lettuce and water for like a month
Bob: Did you lose weight?
you: i practacally starved
you: yeah like 41 pounds
you: now she says i have excess skin
Bob: You should ask her if there is anything she would want to change about you physicaly.
you: can you mix these pills in her drinks or something.... so she wont notice them???
you: man her tits are sooooo small...
Bob: If you ask her that, it could lead into a conversation about what you would like to change about her.
Bob: Do you see what I'm sayin' buddy?
you: i tried she starts crying.... you dont love me... y
you: yeah that whole coversation thing... i alwyas fuck it up....
Bob: I'm sorry.
you: man i gott give this some thought.....
Bob: Yeah.
you: hey while i think about this say hi to Brodie and Marco-polo for me
you: later..........
Bob: Sure thing.
you: bye
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Don Juan Demarco'
Don Juan Demarco: Welcome to Wellquest International, how can I help you?
you: Hi Don
you: Don?
you:
Don Juan Demarco: Sorry
Don Juan Demarco: How can I help you?
you: I have a problem
you: I can't staisfy a woman
Don Juan Demarco: And, what is this problem
Don Juan Demarco: WOW! That is a problem!
Don Juan Demarco: How can I help?
you: I think my penis is too small. Don't laugh but it's only 3 inches when hard
Don Juan Demarco: Too much info.
you: Do you have a product that can help me?
you: I thought you were here to help and I thought you needed the info
you: ??
you: sorry
Don Juan Demarco: We can make you a stallion, but can not give you the stallions favored tool.
you: How can you make me a stallion?
you: I really want to make her happy ya know
Don Juan Demarco: TRIMEGA
you: I'm afraid I'll lose another girlfriend if I don't do it right next time
you: Trimega???
you: I was looking at the O-Gel for her but what is tri?
Don Juan Demarco: One sec. Let me splain
Don Juan Demarco: Trimega is an all herbal form of Viagra. In just a few minutes you too can become MR. MACHO MAN.
Don Juan Demarco: Wanna Try??
you: I've tried Viagra. My problem isn't getting hard. My grandfather slips me Viagra and I can hump all night but the problem is she can't get excited. she likes to use the big colored dildo with the ribs on it over me
you: I'm tired of feeling like a boy instead of a man
you: those surgeries look horrible
you: and they're expensive, too
Don Juan Demarco: Than what I suggest is that you try Longitude.
Don Juan Demarco: Go to
www.longitude.com
you: what's that?
you: a learning place
you: how about O-gel. Will it really make her experience better?
Don Juan Demarco: An all herbal penis enlargement system
you: Oh, like a pump?
Don Juan Demarco: I have a friend that tried it and it actually worked.
Don Juan Demarco: No
Don Juan Demarco: Silly.
Don Juan Demarco: Like penis implants only NO SURGERY!
you: Really?? Will I still be able to cum?
Don Juan Demarco: O-Gel will work too.
you: what does it do for the woman?
Don Juan Demarco: YES! You will still be able to ejaculate.
you: I think I'm going to ejaculate in just a minute
Don Juan Demarco: What does what do for woman
Don Juan Demarco: ?
you: this is exciting
you: I think I'm going to ejaculate. Wanna hear?
Don Juan Demarco: Bye, Now this Conversation is over.
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
Holy crap...I gave up before he did...
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Bob'
Bob: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Bob, how the hell are you?
you: I have a question about Metroxin
Bob: Great!
you: is it safe to use on my chest?
you: I don't have hair on my chest and my GF likes hairy chested guys
Bob: Yes.
you: will it work though?
you: has it been tested?
you: you there, Bbo?
you: sorry Bob
you: Bob?
Bob: It hasn't been tested on the chest.
you: so there are no guarantees
Bob: You are impatient man!
you: sorry
you: I just figured that that was something that should be known
you: anyway
you: I'm balding too
you: how does this stuff work anyway?
Bob: It hasn't been tested on the chest, but the same principle applies, so I imagine theres a chance.
Bob: Of course Metroxin is backed by the best refund policy you could possibly expect. No matter what supply you purchase today, it comes with a full product guarantee. If you are not completely satisfied while using Metroxin, return it anytime up to the end of the supply and we'll give you a full product refund.
you: what kind of frequency do I need to apply this stuff
Bob: Just wash your hair with the included detoxifying shampoo whenever you would normally shampoo and after drying your hair take 2 to 3 minutes to apply the topical solution. Apply it once in the morning and once before bed. Take the herbal supplement like you would a vitamin twice a day.
you: can I use it in the shower?
Bob: The detoxifying shampoo.
you: herbal supplement?? what's that for?
you: what's in it
Bob: Detoxifying Shampoo (8 oz. bottle) - Water, polysorbate 80 - sodium trideceth sulfate, cocamidopropyl hydroxysultaine, disodium lauramphodiacetate, sodium laureth, propylene glycol, citrus acid diazolindyl urea, quaternium, methylparaben.
Bob: Topical Solution (4 oz. bottle) - Alcohol, propylene glycol, water piperidnopyrimdine 3 oxide, Guaninovolicio acid, Vitamin E, Eguesturn Aevense, maidenhair. (CONTAINS ONLY 2% MINOXIDOL)
Bob: Herbal Supplement (120 tablets) - Maidenhair, Vaccinium Myrtillus, Equisetum, Sabal Serulate.
you: what's maidenhair?
you: why is this better than rogaine? rogaine seems simpler to apply?
Bob: I don't know, but I'm sure you can look it up online.
you: that didn't seem very helpful
Bob: Because it is only one part of the system, you can drive a car with 4 cylinders, but a car with 6 or 8 runs much better. The shampoo and the herbal supplement play an important role in the total growth process. Rogaine contains 5% minoxidol, while Metroxin only contains 2% , so it is much safer.
you: is minoxidol dangerous?
you: I was not aware of that
Bob: Within about two months you will notice that your hair is no longer falling out, plus existing hair will grow thicker and fuller. By the fourth month, you should start to see a new head of hair.
you: Bob, let me ask you a crazy question...do you mind if I do?
Bob: Go ahead.
you: if you wash your hands with this stuff, will you have LOTS of hair on the back of your hands afterwards?
you: that would be weird
you: so in foru months my hair could start growing back
Bob: There have been no reports of that.
Bob: Yes.
you: would be weird though wouldn't it?
you: this is the kind of stuff you have to think about sometimes, Bob
Bob: It depends on your definition of weird.
you: well, really hairy hands are kind of weird to look at don't you thnk?
you: like Robin Williams, does he use Metroxin?
Bob: No.
you: how much is it anyway?
Bob: Monkeys have hairy hands.
you: they do indeed
Bob: Our 2-month supply is $149.90 plus shipping and handling, however if you buy 3-months today, we'll send you a 1-month supply for free. It's just $224.85 plus shipping and handling. That saves you 25% off of the normal price.
you: but not the palms, I hear that they...you know...take care of themselves a lto
you: if I buy 6 months do I get 2 motnhs free?
you: Bob?
you: oh my God, they got you,Bob
Bob: Yes.
you: phew
you: thought you were gone
Bob: I was.
you: you ever see StrongBad?
you: funny stuff
Bob: Now, I'm back.
you: is Brodie there?
Bob: I am Brodie.
you: Get OUT!!!!
you: really
you: are you really?
Bob: Yes.
you: is your name Bob Brodie?
Bob: No.
you: OHHH, I was looking for that guy from the Jaws movie
Bob: It's Brodie Bro!
you: check him out...it's BRODIE!!!
Bob: Which one?
you: how's it going brothre
you: brother
you: how's things been?
Bob: Just great!
you: super
Bob: They been...
Bob: Y'know?
you: sure
you: how are Al and Jay and the gang?
you: does Sabastian still work there?
you: he's a dick
Bob: I don't hang wit Al and jay and the gang.
you: ohh
Bob: No.
you: why not
you: why don't you hang with them?
Bob: Dey done abush my momma.
you: you should try Ener-X
Bob: Ambush
you: then you can hang with them
you: or Tri-mega
you: good stuff
Bob: I did n it got the brotha man all teeked! foo!
you: what state are you in anyway?
you: check that G
Bob: Illin' Illinois, Foo!
you: yo B, sup mang-gib it 2 me straight up
you: check him out
you: Illin' in Illinois
you: very nice
you: hey, Bob...why do you do this?
you: can't you find some other job?
Bob: Righteous.
Bob: I have other job.
you: you do?
you: what do you do?
Bob: Tha what I said.
you: cool, what is it?
Bob: Things man, I do things...
you: you don't have another job do you?
you: wait
Bob: YaknowwhaImsayin Foo!
you: they're not testing these things on you are they?????
you: HSIT man
you: Shit
you: don't let them play liekdat
Bob: Yes they are.
you: do you have like 6 eyes as a result of this testing?
you: Bob? I worry when it takes you so long to answer
Bob: I am a responsible upright citizen of this great nation.
you: you're a good man Bob
you: what do you think of the potential war in Iraq?
you: BOB?!?! Did they get you?? Oh NO, THEY GOT YOU !!!!
you: HOLY CRAP!!
you: you there Bob
you: say something, anything...
Bob: Yeh.
you: phew, I was very concerned
Bob: Very good.
you: so really, what do you think abou the whole Iraq thing?
you: is it BS or are we justified
Bob: It doesn't exist buddy.
Bob: None of it.
you: Iraq doesn't exist?
Bob: It's a farse!
you: or the whole thing is an illusion
you: what do you think the point of this all is then?
Bob: NO!!!!! Iraq exist, but the "whloe Iraq thing" doesn't
you: We go way back Bob, be honest here
you: what do you think is happeneing then?
you: just a bunch of propaganda?
you: interesting thought
Bob: The point IS the point, think about it...
you: you're blowing my mind here, Bob
you: do you like Oreo's?
Bob: they are trying to pound a hammer with the nail...
you: nice analogy
you: back to the oreo question
Bob: They are trying to wag the dog with the tail...
you: right, Oreo's, Bob, focus
Bob: Thet are trying to put the filling on the outside of the cookie buddy.
you: so you prefer somthing like a chocolate covered grahma cracker then
you: you know those Keebler thingies
Bob: Plural of oreo does not need an apostrophie bud.
you: right, not possesive
you: spelled that wrong too
you: did you go to college?
Bob: It's PLURAL!
Bob: No.
Bob: I am horibal at speling.
you: you seem really smart
Bob: Ha!
you: very esoteric thing you got going on withthe Iraqq stuff
Bob: Are you flirting with me bud?
you: ummm....no
you: are you gay?
Bob: No you are wrong about that bud.
Bob: It's the TRUTH!
you: I could go for some bud
you: and some Bud
Bob: No you couldn't.
you: actually, you're right, I prefer Guiness
you: and I don't smoke that shit
you: bad for you
Bob: Told ya' so.
you: you know me too well
Bob: No it's not.
you: so what else you got going on today?
Bob: Beer is worse pal.
you: it is addictive, where bud is not, you are correct
Bob: I get to fly a jet for the first time alone to pass an exam.
you: cool
Bob: Like ice, baby.
you: when's that happening...I'll be sure to stay out of Ill. that day
Bob: Two day!!!!
you: really, what time?
Bob: Today!!!
Bob: 2:00 pm.
you: it's almost 3 your time now
Bob: Oh, I'm late!!!!!
Bob: I'm screwed!!!!!
you: oh well, to bad
Bob: Nevermind, theres always make-up testing.
you: sorry to hear that
Bob: You read it bud.
you:
http://www.vbloke.com/boobs.swf
you: check that shit out
you: she doesn't need bloussant
Bob: I can't, I have indigestion
you: you're not even paying attention now are you?
you: that really pisses me of
you: f
Bob: Well it's too expensive.
you: can't you at least show some common courtesy?
you: have you ever tried any of these products you are here to answer questions about?
Bob: Common courtesy was made up to controll.
you: oh geez...here we go
you: have you ever tried any of these products you are here to answer questions about?
Bob: Yes.
you: which ones
you: do you get commission for this?
Bob: Vital solutions.
you: or are you just the answer clown
Bob: Neither.
you: you are basically "copy and Paste Man" then , eh?
you: you've pretty much decided that you are going to see how long I can keep this up for haven't you?
you: why does it cost so much to ship a bottle of pills?
you: 5.95 for shipping, that's outrageous
you: Bob, you there?
Bob: Yes, yes, I don't know and if you say so.
you: LOL
you: you kill me
Bob: Uh huh.
you: you're a good guy...I'll leave you alone
you: hey, Bob
Bob: Yeh?
you: tell Brodie I said hi
you: check you later brother
Bob: Later my man.
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You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hello, Alyssa
you: I am a popular "urban" musician, and I have a problem
Alyssa: what kind of problem
you: In one of my popular songs, I say, quote, "You say youse a gangsta, but you've never got none"
you: "I say youse a wanksta and you need to stop frontin"
you: but, in reality, this is not the case
you: see, the people that I am referring to in this song are probably less of "wankstas" than I am
Alyssa: ok
you: I have a good deal of problems "getting some"
Alyssa: What are you talking about
you: if the public were to ascertain this, my "street cred" could be trashed
you: basically
you: do you have anything that would help me "get it up?"
Alyssa: Yeah we have ener-x
Alyssa: tri-mega
you: What are these ener-x and tri-mega products?
you: ie, what are their effects, price, ingreditent
you: etc
you: Hello?
Alyssa: ener-x will increase your sex drive and performance and increase the levels of testosterone in your system
you: outstanding
Alyssa: Tri-mega,,,firmer longer lasting erections... about the same
you: price will not be an issue, as I am not in the process of "getting rich or dying tryin'"
Alyssa: Ener-X is 100% natural with no reported side effects
you: good, good.
you: I have another problem, as well
you: I, as the case is, am into having sex, but I am not into making love
Alyssa: Okay what is it
Alyssa: Okay
you: this is generally because the girls I "have sex" with are not very "willing"
you: and it usually means I have to "tie them to the bed"
Alyssa: what do you mean are not very willing?
you: is there any way I could "prevent" this?
Alyssa: Okay well we also have ener-x for women
you: good, good
you: in the case that that does not work, how do you tie a square knot?
Alyssa: Well did they even want to do with you
you: regular shoelace knots aren't so great
you: they tend to "break"
you: and the girl tends to "get away"
you: and sometimes "calls the police"
Alyssa: Well if they didnt want to do it with you then you shouldnt start any of this
Alyssa: get lost
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.
It's good to know that their still alive and well .
JUST BLOWING OFF STEAM ...
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You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Hello, how can I help you?
you: What is bloussant?
Alyssa:Bloussant's formula reactivates women's natural growth hormones as they were in puberty. Once the teenage years are over, unless the breast prostaglandin is restimulated, the breasts will not enlarge any further. The exact formula of Bloussant restimulates the prostaglandin and restarts the growth process.
you: How is it pronounced ?
Alyssa:blue-sant
you: Do you realize that spiderman and the other liveperson ops are swearing bloussant doesn't cause cancer ? causes tissue growth but not cancer. right. Tell those infotards they need to stop riding the short bus and get a clue: if they promise it, they make themselves personally liable if you know it not to be true.
you: don't promise shit , it's not worth $10 an hour
you: personal
you: liability
you: share the word
Alyssa:thanks but it dosnt cause cancer
you: you don't know that and neither does wellfleet
you: say "there is not evidence that it causes adversary health problems"
you: don't be specific
you: seriously, cover your ass
Alyssa: ok....
you: so ... anal?
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I think Alyssa might have the 'shits'.
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Alyssa'
Alyssa: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hello Alyssa
Alyssa: Hi How are you
you: Not very well,but thanx for asking.I need some advice on the Miami 48 hr diet
Alyssa: Sure what would you like to know
you: I have tried that many diets that I have just about given up.Will this one really make me lose weight?
Alyssa: One bottle covers the weekend- 8 meals- and that is all you need to lose anywhere from 6-10 pounds. Many people will take the 48 Hour Diet over the weekend, and then eat normal food and do the diet on the weekend again. They will not lose another 6-10 pounds but more will be lost.
Alyssa: And from what I heard it works so I'm sure it will help you
Alyssa: to lose weight
you: I'm desparate.Can I just take this stuff and have nothing else?
Alyssa: what do you mean nothing else?
you: My weight is affecting me so badly that I have no self esteem anymore
you: Can I just stay on the Miami diet thing and not eat anything else?
Alyssa: If you take miami 48 diet and you will lose 6-10 pounds in one weekend
Alyssa: No it will affect your stomach
you: You don't know what I am going through.
Alyssa: You should eat normal food then take 48 hour diet on the weekend
you: If I don't lose fifty pounds at least I don't like to think what I could be capable of doing to myself.
Alyssa: and you will lose weight
Alyssa: What do you mean
you: What's normal food?
Alyssa: like healthy food
you: I'm sorry.I just feel so depressed about my weight.
Alyssa: I understand... well you can eat healthy food, take 48 hour diet and execrise
you: It's so bad that I don't even know how much I weigh anymore.My scales broke the last time I got on them
Alyssa: I'm sorry
you: Please don't suggest that I exercise.I can't even leave the house.
Alyssa: Would you like to try it out anyway?
Alyssa: you can do it in the house
you: It would have to be delivered as I can't even get out of my bedroom either
you: Hello?
you: You don't really care do you?
Alyssa: Do you even want to try it out?
you: Your just like all the rest of those nasty sales people aren't you?
Alyssa: hey I'm trying to help you and I guess you didn't get any of my messages
Alyssa: and you cant blame other people for your own problems
Alyssa: and I'm trying to suggest for you to try that product and see if it will help you at all
Alyssa: to make yourself feel better about yourself
you: Your right.I'm sorry
Alyssa: do you even want to try it or not
you: I would like to try your product but it's so difficult dealing with people when I look like I do
Alyssa: why is it so difficult dont be so ashamed ok
you: I just don't want the delivery person to laugh at me like some of the others have
Alyssa: It will come with your normal mail in the mailbox don't worry
you: I can't get out of my house.I thought I explained that
you: Can you send someone over with it?
Alyssa: I don't think that is even true, how can you get your mail, or get things you need out of the house
Alyssa: No we can't
Alyssa: the only way for you to get it is from your mailbox or at the door
Alyssa: alright?
you: I have a carer that helps me but she is very strict on who I can talk to and what I am allowed to do
Alyssa: alright have him or her take it in for you
you: The other company sent a nice man around with my last diet
Alyssa: Are there any particular questions that you have?
Alyssa: Ok good
Alyssa: did you even want to order the product or not
Alyssa: and maybe you can see if it will work on you or something
you: How much is six months supply?
Alyssa: We don't have 6 months supply
Alyssa: we have 1 2 or 4 month supply
you: My carer won't help me with this sort of stuff and I have to hide it so she won't beat me for talking to you.Can you bring it round.You seem like a nice person.
Alyssa: did you want to start with 4 month suppply and if it works you can re order for more
Alyssa: yeah sure thank you have a nice day
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