who the fuck is "ELP?"

Ring: Fell screaming into the sky

TH665: While playing his Sousaphone, he stumbles and drowns in his own spit ... a mysteriously frozen spit-valve was said to have caused the abnormal back-pressure releasing years of viscus rental-instrument backwash directly into his windpipe.

If it's a band, could be Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. They had only a few top 40 hits in the 70's, but were very big in technical progressive rock circles. Each member is generally considered a virtuoso for their time among other musicians. Most well-known commercial song is probably "Lucky Man"... not very typical of most their stuff.

ottopilot performed on Guillotine. (What a scene, what a scene.) Evidently the show does end.

my bad...i should have known that...

top caught his arm in a beer-labeling machine and it wouldn't let go...

a piece of him can be found secreted into the ink of at least 25% of home-brewed bottle labels on the delmarva peninsula...

The 7 virgins and a Mule proved to be too taxing for Phil's heart.
/ Keep it cool, keep it cool.

Tophat: learned too late the perils of bestiality.

Ottopilot - Petted a burning dog

Tophat...whose blind date was actually Medusa.

(What, you've never gotten stoned with a date before?)

Baraka Guru - sat on and smothered by Carl Rove.

(There's a difference in getting stoned with and getting stoned by....)


Tophat: Accidentally swallowed a nanobot whose primary capability is rendering white blood cells into helium.

Accidentally? i dont think so. That whole scenario wreaks of murder.

Mr. Guru: Heard muttering "hockey sucks and beavers can kiss my ass" out loud...
... in public.

True, but everybody must get stoned.

tophat:
Struming your pain with his fingers
Singing your life with his words
killing you softy with his song
killing you softly with his song
telling your whole life
with his words
killing you softly with his song

SSJTWIZTA: Pressed the History Eraser Button.

ottopilot: Asked Sonny Landham how his work in Big Abner qualified him for the Senate. Was found hanging from a tree with a mic stuck up his ass.

Tophat665: The Harlequin Romance police busted down the wrong door.

ring: accepted the pizza delivery from the giant roach on the Orkin commercial.

Ottopilot - Sewn into a sack with a rabid otter.

was there "in-sack" HBO?

tophat: pricked with an unsterilized sewing needle

Top..........



pirahna tank.....(picture it Top,i known you can).......


little bit of feeding going on.......droppin' the mice in........weren't ya' Top?........and than all of a sudden.












WHAM!!!!!!!!







the pirahna,your pets,loved,prized fish...........jump right out for the mouse you'd been dangling overhead like a fool.......they just needed that taste Top.......what were you thinking?

i miss you man.........and the sad thing in it all........all the fish latched on in a frenzy,outside the tank you were standing beside.........you fell down your stairwell..........(shitty luck that was i guess).....and all the damn fish died too...........

Fly: Visited worlds largest Bong, with a circumfrence of over 10 feet, a height of nearly 15 stories, a 14 bushel bowl, and a shotgun that has to be lifted out with a construction crane. Tried to tak a hit off it and fell in. Was he pushed? Was it an accident? Or did he dive? Well never know, but it took over 14 hours of surgery just to get the smile off of his face.

The Top Meister drowned in his own stream of consciousness

*blub*
Ottopilot dragged to a wordy, watery grave by a revenant Tophat.:D

Top found religion.

fly was caught banging his drum too slowly...

Yeah, it was in the back of dad's closet, behind the rifles. Too bad that one was loaded and went off and killed phil.

Top cut off Jack Nicholson in traffic and died after 57 blows to the head with a nine iron. Even the though the event was caught on video- a California jury acquitted Jack after it was shown the gloves used in the attack didn't match his shoes that day.

BTW- why am I always killing off Top?

You always hurt the one you love.

An unidentified masked man pulled the beating heart out of Tully Mar's chest, threw it on the ground, and stomped all over it, while singing the Oregon Beavers' fight song, off key.

poor poor Top,
he sits on the equator's fenceline,
waiting in limbo for a long long time,
whilst the water gushes and swirls
unable to make up its mind,
which direction,
to
flush.

I can...not...do it?
Too much of life & love, but
- appreciation.

The wringlings of my bardo mate,
become louder.

I cannot, nor wish to flee.

Ourcrazymodern, and the beloved ring, have shuffled off this mortal coil, poisoned by an excess of regard.

top lives!

in that jar full of pickled eggs at the far corner of the bar...

Phil has pressed the history eraser button, removing himself from all of time.

Top was mistaken for Helen Reddy one too many times.

ottopilot made the unfortunate decision to wear his brand new fish costume to the polar bear parade.

Uncle Phil forgot to disable the air bag in your car when he stole your stereo.

ottopilot flew into a severe thunderstorm that materialized out of nowhere in the tropical Atlantic. Probably would have survived if he had not been listening to tapes of Edith Piaf, as it is well know that mid Atlantic thunderstorms are fueled by the ghosts of sunken German U-Boats and have a pathological hatred of all things French.

/ too soon?

OurCrazyModern rowed and rowed and rowed his boat gently down the stream, hit the rapids, and eventually went over Niagara Falls. But survived, as he is immortal.

EDIT:
Oopsie, I was reading an OCM post when I posted that one. So ...

Tophat watched too many episodes of Little House on the Prairie, cried himself a river, and drowned.