Friday the 13th
 

Hail Future Victims!

In this thread we create the death of the previous poster at the maniacal hands of one Jason Voorhees
http://www.javno.com/slike/slike_3/r...3464013033.jpg

Here is a list of his victims and the manner in which the were murdered.

Friday the 13th

1. Barry : Knifed in stomach
2. Claudette : Knifed off screen
3. Annie : Throat slit
4. Ned : Throat slit
5. Jack : Speared through neck
6. Marcie : Axed in the face
7. Brenda : Killed off screen then thrown through a window
8. Steve : Knifed in the stomach
9. Bill : Arrowed into a door
10. Pamela Voorhees : Decapitated

Friday the 13th part II

1. Alice : Stabbed with ice pick
2. Ralph : Strangled with barbed wire
3. Policeman : Stabbed in the head
4. Scott : Hung, then throat slit
5.Terry : Stabbed
6. Mark : Macheted in the face
7. Jeff & Sandra : Double impaling
8. Vickie : Stabbed
9. Paul : Presumed dead

Friday the 13th part III

1. Harold : Stabbed in the chest
2. Edna : Stabbed with knitting needle
3. Fox : Stabbed with pitchfork
4. Loco : Stabbed with pitchfork
5. Ali : Hit with wrench, later stabbed
6. Shelly : Throat slit (off screen)
7. Vera : Shot with spear gun
8. Andy : Macheted while walking on hands
9. Debbie : Stabbed
10. Chuck : Electrocuted
11. Chili : Stabbed with poker
12. Rick : Head squeezed

Friday the 13th part IV - The Final Chapter

1. Axel : Throat slit with hacksaw
2. Nurse : Stabbed with scalpel
3. Hitchhiker : Stabbed in neck
4. Samantha : Stabbed
5. Paul : Speared in groin
6. Terri : Speared in back
7. Mrs. Jarvis : Killed off screen
8. Jimmy : Corkscrew in hand, then stabbed in face
9. Tina : Thrown through window
10. Ted : Stabbed in head
11. Doug : Head crushed
12. Sara : Axed in chest
13. Rob : Stabbed in throat

Friday the 13th part V - A New Beginning

1. The Grave Robbers : Killed in Tommy's dream
2. Joey : Killed with axe
3. Vinnie : Road flare put in his mouth
4. Pete : Throat slit
5. Billy : Killed with axe
6. Lana : Killed with axe
7. Raymond : Stabbed in the stomach
8. Tina : Stabbed with garden shears
9. Eddie : Head crushed
10. Anita : Throat slit
11. Demon : Speared
12. Junior : Decapitated by cleaver
13. Ethel : Stabbed in face with cleaver
14. Jake : Stabbed with cleaver
15. Robin : Stabbed from beneath bed
16. Violet : Stabbed in the stomach
17. Duke : Found dead in ambulance
18. Matt : Spiked in the head
19. George : Eyes gouged out
20. Roy : Impaled on tractor harrow
21. Pam : Killed in Tommy's dream

Friday the 13th part VI - Jason Lives

1. Allen : Heart ripped out
2. Darren : Speared and thrown over Jason's shoulder
3. Lizabeth : Speared in head
4. Burt : Arm ripped off and spiked on tree branch
5. Stan, Katie & Larry : Triple beheading
6. Martin : Stabbed with broken bottle
7. Steven & Annette : Double stabbing
8. Nikki : Face crushed on wall of caravan
9. Cort : Stabbed in head
10. Roy : Hacked up in woods
11. Sissy : Head pulled off
12. Paula : Hacked up with machete
13. Officer Thornton : Dart in the head
14. Officer Pappas : Head crushed
15. Sheriff Garris : Snapped in half

Friday the 13th part VII - The New Blood

1. John Shepherd : Drowned in Crystal Lake
2. Jane : Spiked on a tree
3. Michael : Stabbed with tent spike
4. Dan : Neck broken
5. Judy : Swung into a tree in her sleeping bag
6. Russell : Hit in face with axe
7. Sandra : Drowned
8. Maddy : Stabbed in neck
9. Ben : Head crushed
10. Kate : Stabbed in eye
11. David : Stabbed in stomach
12. Eddie : Decapitated
13. Robin : Thrown through window
14. Amanda Shepherd : Speared
15. Dr. Crews : Stabbed with large circular saw
16. Melissa : Hit in face with axe

Friday the 13th part VIII - Jason takes Manhattan

1. Jim : Impaled with harpoon gun
2. Suzy : Stabbed with trident
3. J.J. : Hit in the head with guitar
4. Boxer : Sauna rock shoved in his stomach
5. Tamara : Stabbed with piece of broken mirror
6. Jim : Harpooned in back
7. Admiral Robertson : Throat slit
8. Eva : Strangled
9. Crew Member : Shot by Wayne (accident)
10. Wayne : Electrocuted
11. Miles : Impaled on a post
12. Deck hand : Hit with axe in the back
13. Gang Bangers : Stabbed with syringe/Hit with metal pipe
14. Julius : Decapitated
15. Cop : Killed off screen
16. Colleen : Killed in car explosion
17. Charles : Drowned in barrel of sewage
18. Sanitation Worker : Hit with wrench

Jason Goes to Hell - The Final Friday

1. Coroner : Becomes possessed
2. Coroner's Assistant : Stabbed with autopsy probe
3. FBI Agents : Stabbed with pencil/Skull crushed
4. Alexis : Cut with razor
5. Deborah : Stabbed with spike
6. Lou : Head crushed (off screen)
7. Edna : Head crushed in car door
8. Josh : Possessed
9. Diana : Stabbed with long pole
10. Robert : Possessed
11. Officer Ryan : Head hit on locker
12. Officer's Mark & Brian : Heads hit together
13. Ward : Falls dead through doors of diner
14. Shelby : Burned on deep-fat fryer
15. Joey : Face smashed
16. Vicki : Impaled on spear
17. Sheriff Landis : Stabbed with special dagger
18. Randy : Possessed
19. Creighton Duke : Crushed

Jason X

1. Guard 1 : Strangled by chain
2. Guard 2 : Hit by machine gun
3. Guard 3 : Choked to death
4. Guard 4 : Choked by chain
5. Guard 5 : Hit in face by pole
6. Dr. Wimmer : Impaled on pole
7. Sgt. Marcus : Thrown through metal door
8. Adrienne : Face frozen by liquid nitrogen, hit against counter
9. Stoney : Machete pushed through body
10. Azrael : Back broken
11. Dallas : Head pushed into wall
12. Sven : Neck Broken
13. Condor : Impaled on mining drill
14. Geko : Throat slit
15. Briggs : Impaled on claw hook
16. Kicker : Cut in half
17. Fat Lou : Killed off screen, found in pieces
18. Dieter : Dies in explosion
19. Prof. Lowe : Killed off screen
20. Kinsa : Dies in shuttle explosion
21. Crutch : Electrocuted
22. Waylander : Back broken
23. Janessa : Sucked through grate into space
24. Sgt. Brodski : Burnt up in Earth's atmosphere

Jason Joins TFP

1. Giant Hamburger : (next poster invents my death)

belched out small intestine in its entirety, along with an ounce of catsup and half an onion ring...

uncle phil:

1- uncle phil- Sledged in the face witha sledgehammer

ok, i've got it now...

1. Giant Hamburger: belched out small intestine in its entirety, along with an ounce of catsup and half an onion ring...

2. Uncle Phil: sledged in the face with a sledgehammer

3. dlish:

3. dlish: pulled inside out with a pair of pliers

4. Giant hamburger - Fried on a hot barbeque - well done

sorry, i couldnt resist.

(just a qn..can you be killed more than once?)

You have infinite lives!

Giant Hamburger - cut up one small piece at a time, each part in turn shoved through a meat grinder to make ...ground meat.

Badnick..........decapitated with a shovel

Fly: Impaled and electrocuted with his favourite guitar.

Baraka_Guru: thrown off the top of the CN Tower and right onto the pitcher's mound of a Blue Jays game they lost to the Phillies.

BadNick: tied to a very slow-moving conveyor belt with hands behind his back facing an open coal furnace.

ottopilot: floundering in an absent void...

Ottopilot: Gently floated to the next dimension while watching
A Doris Day movie marathon.

Yikes! killed twice! :dead:

Sorry if I was too graphic ... I was trying to think "Jason-ish"

That was horrific, yet soothing.

ottopilot: Sliced by the prop of a small plane a'la Raider of the Lost Ark style.

Wow, three times dead. Maybe you're cat and have six more to go?

Tully Mars: Tripped by the garden hose, then impaled in the eye by the neighbor-child's demonic "Tickle Me Elmo" lawn sprinkler.

Is it bad that this one made me laugh? It's certainly...different.

Tully_Mars: stabbed in the hot tub with a stiletto heel then drowns in own blood...

(Edit: beat to the punch - just stick in ottopilot where Tully was ;))

I don't believe in this Jason fellow -but I am going to have sex with my girlfriend by the lakeside anyways.


\\P.S. Jason's mom killed most everyone in the first movie... NOT JASON.

//and one of them was Kevin Bacon....

Baraka_Guru: hit on the head with a brick.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3148/...b3dff99c35.jpg

ottopilot: flew into a tree...

uncle phil: nervous system shattered after receiving lethal doses of Lisa Lobe (Jason's current identity).

damn, i love lisa loeb...

uncle phil - beat to death with a Big Bertha 460 Titanium golf club

Me too (talented and cute "glasses-chick") ... but that's why she's so deadly.


BadNick: brain infection from years of knuckle-deep nose-picking.

ottopilot: Stabbed in the throat with a plastic spork.

POA stabbed to death by group 50 nerds using pens they removed from their pocket protectors.

Tully: sky dives only to find his parachute has been replaced with jason.

SSJTWIZTA: Hoist on his own petard.

ring - still frozen at the 30-yard-line after the "ice bowl..."

Uncle Phil: Stabbed through the throat with big game fishing hook and dragged behind the Minow.

SSJTWIZTA: pressure hoses shoved into each ear and turned on.

Astrocloud: Removed the tags from his mattress.

otto: helped astro...

uncle phil: Tripped over a piece of Skylab laying in the ruff.

Let's call it a death by a 7 irony.

Ring attacked by killer bunny a'la MP and the Holy Grail.

tully: spending a week here...

http://maps.google.com/maps?sourceid...=1&sa=N&tab=wl

uncle phil: forgot to sterilize the cutting edge technology

ottopilot: victim of random paper-boy accuracy.

Ring: attacked by killer tomato http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-conte...ertomatoes.jpg

SSJTWIZTA: passed out on Jason's lawn

ottopilot: forced to post on TFP until his eyes bleed and his fingers are typed down to the stubs... finally dies from lack of sleep and food.

Charlatan: Dies of fear at ottopilot's final post....

BG:


the high E acoustic guitar string,sloooooooowly tightened around your wrists....from behind......(and i don't mean that in a sexual way)......until both of your hands come free of your arms........and you bleed to death,while listening to..........


get this....


"while my guitar gently weeps"





at least it's the beatles:thumbsup:

fly: crushed by a very large novelty fly swatter.

ill play off of fly here...


Char: Hung with the high E string. his head comes off and lands so that he can stare at his lifeless, headless body untill the brain dies.

(this time is an electric string, acoustic and death dont have the same effect without meaningful lyrics) :p

SSJTWIZTA: Kept his dental appointment with Dr. J. Voorhees...



No! Stay back! Wait, those aren't my wife's underpants! My stubby fingers! My eyes! My eyes! Oh the humanity!

aaahhhhrrrrrggggg... gurgle, spew, cough, gasp, wheeze, thud ...

"rose...bud"

ottopilot: Killed by having a fire hose shoved up his butt and turned on full throttle. The cleanest explosion ever.

char: killed trying to keep up with delta house's drinking shenanigans.

Jennings points in horror.

swishy: made a sudden stop on the floor after chugging a bottle of tequila...

uncle phil: titillated beyond resurrection after reading the longest thread.

ring: cornered by a pack of enthusiastic wiener-dogs while dressed as a Snausage.

otto: Caned to death in a sugar field.

astrocloud... pushed into an industrial meat grinder only to become a wee bit of hundreds of happy meals.

Charlatan: on a dare, tongue stuck to the frozen surface of a Zamboni just before half time.

ottopilot: last seen flailing against the tide of current events.

ring: almost, i mean just about, there...

(she knows what i mean...)

uncle phil: parvus minor minimus, excessum,letum.

i think it's "litem," and you're probably right...

Ring and Phil: run over with a riding lawnmower. Their remains are spread for compost.

Char: Strays a bit to close to Audrey II.

http://broadwaymusicalhome.com/images/horrors.jpg

SSJTWIZTA: Experienced a catastrophic back-draft while lighting his own farts

ottopilot: The first victim of the Vermicious Knids.

( a Crispus Attucks thing)

(ring, let's tip charlie's lawnmower over...)

ring: hidden inside that cheshire-cat smile...

uncle phil: no one was left to speak on your behalf when "they" came for you.

interesting.

http://www.roalddahlfans.com/books/charknids.gif

ottopilot: His zipper got stuck upon reentry during a recent out-of-body experience, .

ottopilot: reincarnated as himself for eternity and forced to watch
'Ground Hog Day' every morning, until he begs for the Kevorkian solution.

ring: substitute teacher for the local Piranha Middle School

otto: jumping out of a perfectly good airplane - without the baggage...

uncle phil: star pupil in Jason's head-start program.

otto: decided his toaster was dirty and it was bath time.

SSJTWIZTA: After many repeated attempts to pronounce
his user-title: he giggled himself to Nirvana.

ring: a child of the corn

Otto: Made into a substitute teacher on a friday.

Astrocloud: choked on his own weiner

Otto: Died of boredom after being forced to watch "Spice World" for a week straight.

SSJTWIZTA had a boredom problem.

Ourcrazymodern?: Multiple la petite mort rendered him immortal.

hehe...and i always thought "la petite mort" was a "womens" thing; little do i know...

ring: relegated to the ninth circle...

phil:

4 golf balls stuffed in his yap......as well as a 3 iron tightened slowly around his throat ,.................until suffocation.......

fly: empty refrigerator...

Uncle Phil - Taken to Detroit

T665: accompanying UP to detroit...

UP: Bizarre gardening accident. Police thought best left unsolved.

Tophat665: Details are a little sketchy but his body is found on a London rooftop, bound to the chimney with a soot covered brush rammed down his gullet. In the distance someone whistles "Chim Chim Cher-ee" as fog fills the air.

Tully Mars paid the maximum penalty for stepping out of time, and was devoured by animated penguins.

Tophat665: Crushed by a bus tossed to the ground by Godzilla. Sadly he might have heard it coming had his MP3 not been blasting out "My Heart Will Go On" by Céline Dion.

Tully Mars: someone with the munchies mistook you for a candy bar.

Ring:

Caught talking backward to the White Knight, so the Red Queen said "Off with her head!"

Should have remembered what the dormouse said.

cowboy: fed the dormouse his head...

uncle phil: swallowed inside a particularly nasty sand trap.


http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h...ringy/worm.jpg

Crap! Sandworms!

Ring: with a bit of a nostalgic overload, ring entered a circle pit...

...she was never seen again.

SSJTWIZTA: Withered away of a vowel deficiency. (Should have gone to Hawaii while there was still time.)

Tophat665: tried to circumcise the giant sand worm

Otto: Tried the three course meal prototype chewing gum; juiced to death.

Astrocloud: Force fed Pop Rocks & Coke until his stomach exploded

TH665: drowned during his "born-again" baptism...

uncle mystro:

made to drink beer and clamato juice.............drowning accident

Fly: victim of early prototype "Hulk Hands"