Giant Hamburger

Hail Future Victims!

In this thread we create the death of the previous poster at the maniacal hands of one Jason Voorhees


Here is a list of his victims and the manner in which the were murdered.

Friday the 13th

1. Barry : Knifed in stomach
2. Claudette : Knifed off screen
3. Annie : Throat slit
4. Ned : Throat slit
5. Jack : Speared through neck
6. Marcie : Axed in the face
7. Brenda : Killed off screen then thrown through a window
8. Steve : Knifed in the stomach
9. Bill : Arrowed into a door
10. Pamela Voorhees : Decapitated

Friday the 13th part II

1. Alice : Stabbed with ice pick
2. Ralph : Strangled with barbed wire
3. Policeman : Stabbed in the head
4. Scott : Hung, then throat slit
5.Terry : Stabbed
6. Mark : Macheted in the face
7. Jeff & Sandra : Double impaling
8. Vickie : Stabbed
9. Paul : Presumed dead

Friday the 13th part III

1. Harold : Stabbed in the chest
2. Edna : Stabbed with knitting needle
3. Fox : Stabbed with pitchfork
4. Loco : Stabbed with pitchfork
5. Ali : Hit with wrench, later stabbed
6. Shelly : Throat slit (off screen)
7. Vera : Shot with spear gun
8. Andy : Macheted while walking on hands
9. Debbie : Stabbed
10. Chuck : Electrocuted
11. Chili : Stabbed with poker
12. Rick : Head squeezed

Friday the 13th part IV - The Final Chapter

1. Axel : Throat slit with hacksaw
2. Nurse : Stabbed with scalpel
3. Hitchhiker : Stabbed in neck
4. Samantha : Stabbed
5. Paul : Speared in groin
6. Terri : Speared in back
7. Mrs. Jarvis : Killed off screen
8. Jimmy : Corkscrew in hand, then stabbed in face
9. Tina : Thrown through window
10. Ted : Stabbed in head
11. Doug : Head crushed
12. Sara : Axed in chest
13. Rob : Stabbed in throat

Friday the 13th part V - A New Beginning

1. The Grave Robbers : Killed in Tommy's dream
2. Joey : Killed with axe
3. Vinnie : Road flare put in his mouth
4. Pete : Throat slit
5. Billy : Killed with axe
6. Lana : Killed with axe
7. Raymond : Stabbed in the stomach
8. Tina : Stabbed with garden shears
9. Eddie : Head crushed
10. Anita : Throat slit
11. Demon : Speared
12. Junior : Decapitated by cleaver
13. Ethel : Stabbed in face with cleaver
14. Jake : Stabbed with cleaver
15. Robin : Stabbed from beneath bed
16. Violet : Stabbed in the stomach
17. Duke : Found dead in ambulance
18. Matt : Spiked in the head
19. George : Eyes gouged out
20. Roy : Impaled on tractor harrow
21. Pam : Killed in Tommy's dream

Friday the 13th part VI - Jason Lives

1. Allen : Heart ripped out
2. Darren : Speared and thrown over Jason's shoulder
3. Lizabeth : Speared in head
4. Burt : Arm ripped off and spiked on tree branch
5. Stan, Katie & Larry : Triple beheading
6. Martin : Stabbed with broken bottle
7. Steven & Annette : Double stabbing
8. Nikki : Face crushed on wall of caravan
9. Cort : Stabbed in head
10. Roy : Hacked up in woods
11. Sissy : Head pulled off
12. Paula : Hacked up with machete
13. Officer Thornton : Dart in the head
14. Officer Pappas : Head crushed
15. Sheriff Garris : Snapped in half

Friday the 13th part VII - The New Blood

1. John Shepherd : Drowned in Crystal Lake
2. Jane : Spiked on a tree
3. Michael : Stabbed with tent spike
4. Dan : Neck broken
5. Judy : Swung into a tree in her sleeping bag
6. Russell : Hit in face with axe
7. Sandra : Drowned
8. Maddy : Stabbed in neck
9. Ben : Head crushed
10. Kate : Stabbed in eye
11. David : Stabbed in stomach
12. Eddie : Decapitated
13. Robin : Thrown through window
14. Amanda Shepherd : Speared
15. Dr. Crews : Stabbed with large circular saw
16. Melissa : Hit in face with axe

Friday the 13th part VIII - Jason takes Manhattan

1. Jim : Impaled with harpoon gun
2. Suzy : Stabbed with trident
3. J.J. : Hit in the head with guitar
4. Boxer : Sauna rock shoved in his stomach
5. Tamara : Stabbed with piece of broken mirror
6. Jim : Harpooned in back
7. Admiral Robertson : Throat slit
8. Eva : Strangled
9. Crew Member : Shot by Wayne (accident)
10. Wayne : Electrocuted
11. Miles : Impaled on a post
12. Deck hand : Hit with axe in the back
13. Gang Bangers : Stabbed with syringe/Hit with metal pipe
14. Julius : Decapitated
15. Cop : Killed off screen
16. Colleen : Killed in car explosion
17. Charles : Drowned in barrel of sewage
18. Sanitation Worker : Hit with wrench

Jason Goes to Hell - The Final Friday

1. Coroner : Becomes possessed
2. Coroner's Assistant : Stabbed with autopsy probe
3. FBI Agents : Stabbed with pencil/Skull crushed
4. Alexis : Cut with razor
5. Deborah : Stabbed with spike
6. Lou : Head crushed (off screen)
7. Edna : Head crushed in car door
8. Josh : Possessed
9. Diana : Stabbed with long pole
10. Robert : Possessed
11. Officer Ryan : Head hit on locker
12. Officer's Mark & Brian : Heads hit together
13. Ward : Falls dead through doors of diner
14. Shelby : Burned on deep-fat fryer
15. Joey : Face smashed
16. Vicki : Impaled on spear
17. Sheriff Landis : Stabbed with special dagger
18. Randy : Possessed
19. Creighton Duke : Crushed

Jason X

1. Guard 1 : Strangled by chain
2. Guard 2 : Hit by machine gun
3. Guard 3 : Choked to death
4. Guard 4 : Choked by chain
5. Guard 5 : Hit in face by pole
6. Dr. Wimmer : Impaled on pole
7. Sgt. Marcus : Thrown through metal door
8. Adrienne : Face frozen by liquid nitrogen, hit against counter
9. Stoney : Machete pushed through body
10. Azrael : Back broken
11. Dallas : Head pushed into wall
12. Sven : Neck Broken
13. Condor : Impaled on mining drill
14. Geko : Throat slit
15. Briggs : Impaled on claw hook
16. Kicker : Cut in half
17. Fat Lou : Killed off screen, found in pieces
18. Dieter : Dies in explosion
19. Prof. Lowe : Killed off screen
20. Kinsa : Dies in shuttle explosion
21. Crutch : Electrocuted
22. Waylander : Back broken
23. Janessa : Sucked through grate into space
24. Sgt. Brodski : Burnt up in Earth's atmosphere

Jason Joins TFP

1. Giant Hamburger : (next poster invents my death)

uncle phil

belched out small intestine in its entirety, along with an ounce of catsup and half an onion ring...

uncle phil:

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

dlish

1- uncle phil- Sledged in the face witha sledgehammer

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

uncle phil

ok, i've got it now...

1. Giant Hamburger: belched out small intestine in its entirety, along with an ounce of catsup and half an onion ring...

2. Uncle Phil: sledged in the face with a sledgehammer

3. dlish:

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Giant Hamburger

3. dlish: pulled inside out with a pair of pliers

dlish

4. Giant hamburger - Fried on a hot barbeque - well done

sorry, i couldnt resist.

(just a qn..can you be killed more than once?)

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Giant Hamburger

You have infinite lives!

BadNick

Giant Hamburger - cut up one small piece at a time, each part in turn shoved through a meat grinder to make ...ground meat.

Fly

Badnick..........decapitated with a shovel

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Baraka_Guru

Fly: Impaled and electrocuted with his favourite guitar.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

BadNick

Baraka_Guru: thrown off the top of the CN Tower and right onto the pitcher's mound of a Blue Jays game they lost to the Phillies.

ottopilot

BadNick: tied to a very slow-moving conveyor belt with hands behind his back facing an open coal furnace.

uncle phil

ottopilot: floundering in an absent void...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ring

Ottopilot: Gently floated to the next dimension while watching
A Doris Day movie marathon.

ottopilot

Yikes! killed twice!

Sorry if I was too graphic ... I was trying to think "Jason-ish"

That was horrific, yet soothing.

Tully Mars

ottopilot: Sliced by the prop of a small plane a'la Raider of the Lost Ark style.

Wow, three times dead. Maybe you're cat and have six more to go?

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

ottopilot

Tully Mars: Tripped by the garden hose, then impaled in the eye by the neighbor-child's demonic "Tickle Me Elmo" lawn sprinkler.

little_tippler

Is it bad that this one made me laugh? It's certainly...different.

Tully_Mars: stabbed in the hot tub with a stiletto heel then drowns in own blood...

(Edit: beat to the punch - just stick in ottopilot where Tully was )

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Astrocloud

I don't believe in this Jason fellow -but I am going to have sex with my girlfriend by the lakeside anyways.


\\P.S. Jason's mom killed most everyone in the first movie... NOT JASON.

Baraka_Guru

//and one of them was Kevin Bacon....

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

ottopilot

Baraka_Guru: hit on the head with a brick.

uncle phil

ottopilot: flew into a tree...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ottopilot

uncle phil: nervous system shattered after receiving lethal doses of Lisa Lobe (Jason's current identity).

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

uncle phil

damn, i love lisa loeb...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

BadNick

uncle phil - beat to death with a Big Bertha 460 Titanium golf club

ottopilot

Me too (talented and cute "glasses-chick") ... but that's why she's so deadly.


BadNick: brain infection from years of knuckle-deep nose-picking.

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Punk.of.Ages

ottopilot: Stabbed in the throat with a plastic spork.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Tully Mars

POA stabbed to death by group 50 nerds using pens they removed from their pocket protectors.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

SSJTWIZTA

Tully: sky dives only to find his parachute has been replaced with jason.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

ring

SSJTWIZTA: Hoist on his own petard.

uncle phil

ring - still frozen at the 30-yard-line after the "ice bowl..."

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

SSJTWIZTA

Uncle Phil: Stabbed through the throat with big game fishing hook and dragged behind the Minow.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Astrocloud

SSJTWIZTA: pressure hoses shoved into each ear and turned on.

ottopilot

Astrocloud: Removed the tags from his mattress.

uncle phil

otto: helped astro...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ring

uncle phil: Tripped over a piece of Skylab laying in the ruff.

Let's call it a death by a 7 irony.

Tully Mars

Ring attacked by killer bunny a'la MP and the Holy Grail.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

uncle phil

tully: spending a week here...

http://maps.google.com/maps?sourceid...=1&sa=N&tab=wl

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ottopilot

uncle phil: forgot to sterilize the cutting edge technology

ring

ottopilot: victim of random paper-boy accuracy.