Charlatan

Phil's secret is that it doesn't take much to render him in a state of awe...

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

JumpinJesus

Charlatan enjoyed a few minutes of fame some years ago when he claimed that an image of Nipsey Russell had been spotted taking shape in the pizza grease at the bottom of his pizza box. He was soon exposed as a fraud when a local news team discovered that he had painted the image there himself in the hopes of getting on television. To add insult to injury, the news team discovered his jar of boogers and he has since been known by all the neighborhood kids as "Nipsey Nose Picker".

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

Daoust

Jumpin' Jesus swears that when he was a youngster, he ate a watermelon seed and it actually grew into a watermelon plant inside him. He claims that is why his anus is so elastic.

__________________
I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace
But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

uncle phil

daoust has never caught a fish in his life...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

wdevauld

Uncle Phil secretly yearns to be a fish...

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As soon as you stop living, you start dying....

bernadette

wdevauld has this pipe dream about joining the circus to be a naked trapeze artist.

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kramus

Bernadette spends hours using photoshop to remove the fur from the pictures she takes of her pets. Something tells her to not share these photoshopped creations - and that something lives inside the potted plant beside her dining room table.

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

Fremen

kramus drinks vodka mixed with peanut butter & jelly.

Mmm-mmmm, tasty!

__________________
Google

shesus

Fremen practices walking in high heels so he can win the next Miss Drag Queen USA

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

kramus

ohh shesus likes to invert the eggs in the egg cartons when she's in the dairy aisle of the grocery story. Something about how funny it is when people open eggs from the wrong end . . .

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

Fremen

kramus spazzes out when he hears an electric can-opener...

__________________
Google

Fly

Fremen likes burning flies with his magnifying glass.



*thanks alot Fre*

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Charlatan

FLyman is just glad someone finally gave him a magnifying glass... now he can actually see what all the fuss is about.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

cj2112

charlatan stole fly's magnifying glass

paddyjoe

Poor cj lost his best insult book....

shesus

Who told you this? It must have been my old grocery store manager...

Anyway, PaddyJoe collects wigs and tries them on everynight to find his 'best' look.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

Fremen

ohh_shesus shaves derogatory messages into kiwi fruit to protest the importation to America of hairy men from New Zealand.

__________________
Google

mml

Oddly enough, Fremen shaves derogatory messages on to his ass to protest the the fact that there has not been enough importaion to America of hairy men from New Zealand.

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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
-Douglas Adams

kramus

and curiouser yet, mml tends to peel said kiwi fruit with little bites of the front teeth while thinking of Fremen's ass . . .

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

uncle phil

kramus draws with crayons...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fremen

uncle p breaks kramus's crayons just to watch him cry.

__________________
Google

Charlatan

Fremen heard about that the *best* coffee in the world is coffee that is first eaten by cats and then the beans are collected from their feces... When he found out how much they cost, he started feeding coffee to his own cat and then collecting the feces... Alas, he only had ground coffee... you can imagine the results. A very strung out cat followed by Fremen putting cat poop in his Mr. Coffee...

It has been reported that he liked the results and even after someone pointed out how disgusting this practice is, he kept right on brewing...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

kramus

Charlatan puts Fremen's used coffee filters on his eyes as a beauty compress. He finds the world smells beautiful when he removes them but everything now looks a little shitty.

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

uncle phil

charlatan and kramus are tag-team wrestlers...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fremen

uncle phil used to tag-team wrestle, as well.
He went by the name of "Land-phil".
He was considerably bigger back then.

__________________
Google

bernadette

Fremen likes to call women big fatties & make them cry.

He also pulls feathers off of chickens & laughs when they BAWKBAWKBAWK at him.

but no worries. i stole his teddy bear!!! neener neener!
Fremen will cry himself to sleep tonight. BWAHAHAHA

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paddyjoe

Bernadette recently fell off her celery and water diet, and instantly gained 547 pounds.

Charlatan

paddyjoe recently fell off the recently large-sized Bernadette... It is his secret desire to do it again....

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

uncle phil

charlatan's the one with the "mohawk..."

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fremen

phil's tag-team partner quit in the middle of the match, for reasons unknown to the general public.
Some say it was 'cause of phil's excessive body-slamming, if you know what I mean.
We'll never really know because phil 'vanished' his partner soon after he quit.

__________________
Google

Charlatan

Sadly... after years of mocking, Fremen *still* has not read any of the Dune books...


it's an oldie but a goodie...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fremen

Charlatan only knows this because he stole my Dune collection, along with my collection of Snapple lids.

Wendieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

__________________
Google

Charlatan

Sadly... Fremen now bereft of his book and lid collections took to living like hermit. He has everything delivered and never takes out the trash.

His living room is "furnished" with stacks of newspapers that threaten to topple and pin him... he keeps his garbage in the basement. It's getting full so he has started to think about buying a new home. He just can't figure our how he will move his 126 cats and three gerbils (it used to be four gerbils but he got curious).

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fremen

Charlie took to the road vowing not to return home til he found my missing books and Snapple lids.
He was especially keen to get to the 'bottom' of my gerbil problem.

__________________
Google

paddyjoe

Amazingly, it has been kept secret until now, that Fremen is really Charlatans wife. Only after this recent bout of, umm, 'marital discord', was the truth finally discovered.

amonkie

Paddyjoe was the officiant of Charlatan's marriage... and secretly objected so that he could have his chance to woo the missus ...

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

kramus

amonkie is afraid of ice-cream trucks. Pity.

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

Fremen

kramus once took out a pack of slavering kids just to be first to get an ice-cream bomb.

__________________
Google

uncle phil

fre hasn't washed his sleeper jammies since february...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Johnny Pyro

Uncle Phil has winnie the pooh sleeper jammies that he washes everday so he can wear 'em that night. He has done this since he was 7.

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"From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell