InTeGrA77

The guy that I broke up with loong ago still isn't over me, and I'm trying to tell him that EVERYONE falls in love, and that everyone gets thier heart broken at some point throughout thier lives.

He doesn't think that thats true though...he says that there are more people in the world who haven't ever fallen in love in thier lives and gotten thier hearts broken, than those who have.

Alright, I know that I've had my heart broken multiple times, for multiple reason, from multiple guys. Mainly when I was younger, but it still sometimes pains me to think back on some of those times.

How many ladies here have fallen in love and had your hearts broken by some jerk, but overcome all odds after a little time, and walked out with your heads high? I know I have!

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

Averett

Me me!

How long ago did you break up with this guy? If you're keeping in contact with him it might make it harder for him to get over the break up

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

InTeGrA77

It was September 14th when we split (he knows the exact date...) So it's been months, and I've been told many times to just stop talking to him altogether. I think its a good idea, but I'm not sure if I'll NEVER talk to him again. But at least not until I know that he's completely over me once and for all!

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

sillygirl

Tell him you don't want to talk to him any more. By talking to him like you do now, he's probably getting the idea that there's a chance of you guys getting back together. I've seen this happen with some of my friends. They break up with someone, they keep in touch, the person they broke up with never goes away, and it becomes a huge pain in the ass. It's gonna cause you and him both a lot of pain and frustration to continue in the direction you're headed now.

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

amonkie

It's a real fuzzy line, some people can break up and keep talking like the best of friends, others do it and it causes endless heartache. The quip "it's better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all" comes to mind, when speaking of heartbreak. You don't grow any stronger as a person without some degree of suffering. And heartbreak is one of the ultimate emotional pain I can think of.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Plummie

Heartbreak sucks. I've experienced it one too many times, not that I fall in love easily either. I'm not one of "those" girls. But for those men who I did love and respect, it sure hurts to be rejected..

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Kim

minyn

OH OH! i have! i have!! hehe, now i can laugh at it.

A waste of almost half my high school career was my first love. he was a bit of a mnipulative bastard and oddly enough i am now good friends with another girl he messed with. i got alittle more messed up cuzx i was young but from it all i am a confident person. i was never outspoken till all of this happened and even then it took another year or two before i realized I AM A WORTHWHILE PERSON!!!
but no less ladies, we have hearts, we put them on the line, and we do get hurt. it happens. but never let yourself NOT bounce back, becuase they won and that would be horrible.

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"Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye"
~A3 "woke up this morning"

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

gabshu

I don´t know of anyone who hasn´t gotten their heart broken at least once. I think he´ll eventualy get over it. You should make it ultra cleat to him that you don´t want anything to do with him, even if you have to be mean. This guy will get the point sometime, time is the best healer.

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Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/

raeanna74

I have been in relationships where I thought I was in love. After leaving them or being left I realized there were other issues involved with my attachment so sometimes I wonder if I really felt love. My first boyfriend abused my affection for him and it turned into dependency in a way. My second boyfriend was short-term and a bit unemotional. My third boyfriend became my husband. We've gone through out ups and downs and hurt each other and been hurt together by circumstances. I don't know if I can say I've had a broken heart but relationships haven't been easy.

From what I've seen of relationships (either my own or of those close to me) everyone hurts each other sometimes. Hardship is what makes us strong whether it be a heartbreak or other kind of hardship.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

la petite moi

My last boyfriend...waaaay over him now that I have my true Lover...almost lead me on. He was my best friend, and I loved hanging out with him. He helped me through a lot of hard times, and then suddenly he just...stopped being there for me. I told him I was in love with him, and he replied by saying he wasn't in love with me. That hurt.

Like I said though, I'm over him. I now have someone I believe is perfection.

lurkette

Yup.

My first truly serious boyfriend suddenly had a change of heart and dumped me out of the blue. We had only been dating for six months, but it was a very intense six months and we had been talking marriage yadda yadda yadda. Anyhow, he decided he didn't know if he loved me or ever had, and that was it. He hooked up with a fuck-friend (adding insult to injury!) and I sat around and moped for a while. I decided I wasn't going to date any more, I was going to just focus on me, and then I met ratbastid and 12 years later we've been married for 8 years. And said ex-boyfriend (who called years later to apologize and is now a friend of sorts) is now divorced, bald and overweight. And working at Subway. Uncharitable of me to note it, but true. I do wish him well, and he's a very sweet if fucked-up guy, but I feel a tiny little twinge of satisfaction knowing he thinks of me as the one that got away.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

daydream

I've been upset by guys before, def been hurt... but I can't say my heart was broken... bc I've never been in love before until about a year ago when I met my current bf... He's amazing, and I've truly learned that it's true when they say, "No guy is worth your tears and the one is IS won't make you cry!" Since we've been together I haven't cried over him once... if anything he's the one person in my life that ALWAYS makes me happy.

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"Can't help it if I space in a daze, my eyes tune out the other way... I may switch off and go in a daydream... in this head my thoughts are deep, Sometimes I can't even speak, would someone be and not pretend, I'm off again in my world"

PorscheBunny

Just days short of ten years when we broke up last April. She was cheating on me in our own bed, and "our friends" knew it and thought it was funny to keep it secret. Obvious they were her friends, not mine.

It's bad when it's a divorce. When you don't have the convenience of a marriage-divorce system like heteroes, it becomes a legal nightmare.

Miranda and I had interlocking wills, powers of attorneys, and legal partnerships in place for our joint property to make sure our wishes were carried out in case of incapacitation or death. Miranda had a power of attorney drawn up with her brother (Helen's father, it made sense at the time but has since proven disasterous) so that she could sign as Helen's parent despite being only legally an aunt. All those agreements had to be legally dissolved. A divorce would have been simpler and cheaper.

So while all this is going on, stupid me starts up a relationship with Payne, Helen's father and Miranda's brother. After four months of fucking and fighting and fucking and fighting some more, we mutually decided that we couldn't stand being under the same roof and that Helen deserved better than this. It didn't help any that we were taking out our gripes with Miranda on each other in addition to the other stupid shit we would fight about. (He was suddenly faced with 18 years of child support when his "darling sister" had previously agreed to take care of it.)

When I was younger, I was always the one walking away from a relationship, head held high and sashaying off into the sunset with red hair blowing in the wind. This time it's eight months and three months respectively and I'm sitting here still hurting while Miranda's off in her new life and Payne's getting stuff reasonably patched up. Ain't Karma a bitch?

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This post has been sanitized for your protection by the Ministry of Information of Oceania.

~springrain

Amen to thank... it's call self love... no one is worth hurting yourself over.

minyn

A friend of mine who realized AFTER they broke up that he was in love and the most interesting thing was his explanation of the reason she fell out was becuase "he forgot to do his job" He forgot to make her laugh and not be a burden and to have fun and it was a amazingly interesting thought for me.

Okay, enough sharing. more reading, less talking

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"Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye"
~A3 "woke up this morning"

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

ariekitten

"it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
(shakespeare i think)

i've been in love twice. once the person changed and i wasn't in love with the person he became. the second time things didn't work out and it was mutual but it still ripped my heart out to see things end. *shrug* i think the good times are worth the breakup hurt.

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I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call.
~Vash, Trigun

>'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

Alyssa

I have been on the long road to recovery since my break-up almost two years ago. We dated for over seven years. We were doing a long-distance thing when he up and dumped me over the telephone.

Anyway it took me a good year of depression and all the other awful feelings that I went through over that a-hole, especially when I found out that within only a couple months of our break-up, he was already dating a girl from his school. I felt terrible and thought that I would never get over him...but I have. I am now with another guy (for almost six months now) and doing a whole lot better.

I am not completely over my ex, I still wonder about him and what he is up to, although I am still looking for that magic button that will relieve me from that.

This Valentine's Day would have been our 9th Anniversary if we were still together. Last year at this time I was an emotional wreck, now that I am doing better and with a great guy who is taking me out on a "Mystery" weekend excursion to San Francisco, I can only believe that getting over a break-up does eventually end.

teriaki

I've had two loves, both lost.

The first one, we tried to maintain a friendship, but it ended up causing me pain regularly to be reminded of the little things I missed. I ended the friendship. And was finally able to move on with my life.

The second, I had no contact with whatsoever post-breakup- I moved on pretty well with the expected crying jags and drunk-dialing mistakes that made me feel foolish and weak. Two years post-relationship, he contacts me out of the blue and tries to rekindle at least a physical relationship- I was perfectly happy to know I was completely over it.

My best advice? Just stop contacting him- nip it in the bud, so to speak. He'll hate it, and you'll hate it, but it's the only way I've ever found to successfully heal wounds.

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Cute, but useless.

ironchefrocks

I have to agree, <b>teriaki</b> (HI btw!!!! ::hugs:: ).

I thought I was over my ex enough to start talking to him again after about 3 or 4 weeks, but I found myself feeling really empty when things would remind me of the good times. Funny how you don't get reminded of the not-so-good times. Anyway, I kept up talking to him because he'd just moved to a new place after living in the same place his whole life, and I just imagined it would've been nice to have a familiar friend to talk to, but about a week ago I told him I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt bad, because we really did have a good time together, but I can't go on wishing we were still together. He had no idea I was feeling these things, but that was part of the sour points in our relationship - I just couldn't communicate my feelings.

And on that note... Happy Valentine's Day.

EruptiveDreamz

I have done that plenty. I just hate it when a man thinks that he can come back into your life after so long of a period of time and thinks you are suppose to welcome him back with open arms because aww .. he realized he gave up the best thing he coulda had. Does he not realize that in that time life went onward and a change of heart is possible?

I think the hardest of breakups are the ones there is no resolve in the end. That and the ones that end in physical and /or emotional abuse. I went thru that last year and am still finding myself on the road to recovery everyday. I never realized it would take so long to get over. I find myself angry and untrusting alot. Through all the diffrent breakups I have been thru that one left a bitter taste and few physical memories to remember him by.But with all that in mind it has also made me stop and look at myself deeper inside as to what I value most out of life. Where I once thought I was strong I look at that and find I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Silly pride stepped in the way. Hard to believe something so traumatic can hold just as much bad as it can good. But I am grateful for the good that has came from it for myself on a personal level. With as much as I would like to hate him for the damage he created on the same hand I have to thank him. He actually did me a favor when it comes to all the good people that have stood beside and been there pulling for me through it all. I realized the world is a better place than I thought it was and there are more people that have a heart and can be trusted than I ever realized. Biggest thing was they helped me to find trust in myself and the belief in knowing I can overcome anything thrown in my path if I want to.

The man I am involved with now is very understanding and very patient man. I know it can't be easy putting up with my emotional turmoil. But together we are working on it and thanks to him I have came quite a ways as well as our relationship.

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Can you imagine Moses asking Congress to pass the ten commandments?

imperfect_anya

Oh my, this was not the best time for me stumble onto this topic. First off, I was in love with this one guy, who shall remain nameless, but once he went away I realized that it was only a fleeting feeling and that it was in fact not love at all. But there is a second guy that I must admit I love although nothing fruitful comes of it. It is an odd realtionship we have that neither of us takes responsibility for and has been carried on for many years. I can undoubtedly say I love him, because all that has been encountered between us has never diminished my love for him. But, I have yet to know if he has that same feeling. A little heartbreaking, don't you think?

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Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?

ktthequeen

Yes. But I still can't face the facts enough to call him a jerk.
If it were up to me (and distance didn't play a factor either) we'd be back together.

Siiiiiiiiiiigh.

Tigress

Well, you guys seem stronger than I am. I was in an on again, off again relationship for about 3 years. Well, he told me he loved me, and we got back together one last time, and he immediately ripped my heart out and threw it on the floor, only to then stomp on it. I found out later that he had even cheated on me. He treated me badly, told me that I was worthless, and said that no guy would ever want me. Now I have MAJOR trust issues and I am scared to be in a relationship. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I would greatly appreciate it!

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I'm alive,
It's today,
I woke up this morning,
Looks like another good day.

sillygirl

Yeah. Men like that aren't worth it. Don't trust them, whether they be friends or boyfriends. The kind that lash out and make you feel like shit and then turn around when they need someone are the kind to stay away from.

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

Tigress

I agree. I learned my lesson the hard way I guess. unfortunately.

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I'm alive,
It's today,
I woke up this morning,
Looks like another good day.

Annabella

But after all thats still life...?Would life be so lovely if there wasn't that kind of problems.Love is allways in good things and bad aswell..

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Milloin vaan voi kiihoittua!!

Tigress

Absolutely. I guess that we all have to experience the hard times so that we can better appreciate the good. I just wish we could fast forward to the good times.

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I'm alive,
It's today,
I woke up this morning,
Looks like another good day.

Annabella

Thanks Tigress,you seem to have same kind of thougs..!

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Milloin vaan voi kiihoittua!!

Tigress

Yeah, I guess I've had it worse than some, but better than some as well. We all experience different events, but we can learn similar lessons, and share them with eachother. That's what's so great about this place! So many nice people with lots of advice! YAY!

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I'm alive,
It's today,
I woke up this morning,
Looks like another good day.

Rin

I'm also heartbroken now; I dunno what I'm trying to do about it coz I think I'm a real loser....

maleficent

Ok -- First off - -that purple text is really hard to read... Now...

Stand up.
Shoulders back.
Take a deep breath and hold it for 3 counts.
Exhale.

Repeat after me.

I am not a loser. (You, not me)
It's his freakin' loss for not realizing what a great chick I am. (you, not me)
He clearly is an idiot for not realizing this,and I don't need an idiot in my life (You, not me)
I am .... (insert 5 positive things about yourself here -- go on -- do it -- we'll wait)
I am worth someone treating me the way I deserve to be treated (you, not me)

-------
OK, you can sit down now
-------

Now, go have a chocolate brownie, and a glass of cold milk and remember that life will go on... broken hearts heal... You are a special person and not a loser... at all... no fella is worth tears or beating yourself up over... there are enough people in this world who are willing to beat you up over stupid shit, you gotta love yourself more than anyone.

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themisfit

Twice. And it sucks. But it made me wiser (although some might say bitter), and I think appreciate the right traits in a man.

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At length my cry was known:
Therein lay my release.
I met the wolf alone
And was devoured in peace.

ESVM

jaded

Yep, been there. Healed, but sometimes I wonder, are we ever really healed?

Anyway, for those who are in pain, just remember one of the wisest sayings:

This, too, shall pass.

Tigress

Bitterness is the step that comes before our minds are able to take what we've experienced and learn from it. It just takes awhile to process everything into a useful experience. Some people can do italmost immediately, others just take time. But if you try to get through it, and you talke about it with people who want to help you, like Jaded said, "this too, shall pass".

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I'm alive,
It's today,
I woke up this morning,
Looks like another good day.

Brooke

Heart broken?
- yes.
Is he a jerk?
No.
am I over it? in so much as it matters to anyone else...
Do I still love him?
I will always care
Am I in love with him anymore?
in romantic love...no. - as I said, I will always care.
Arn't I good with these conversations with myself?
Indeed I am.
Will I ever love again?
possible again - but I can baerly imagine it. I am still to much with this world.

__________________
And so its over
Your fantasy life is finally at an end
And the world above is still a brutal place
And the story will start again

indigochild111

I think at some point in time, everyone will have their heart broken. I did, and at that time I thought I would never get over it. It was the worst kind of pain, not understanding why I was rejected. Not knowing what was wrong with me. It seemed like it would go on forever, but slowly, without me even realizing it at first, things got better. And slowly, I was healing. And slowly, I started to like other people (not in a rebound way). And then one day I realized that I was happy again. And it was a good feeling. Now I am in love again, with someone who loves me for me. The important thing to remember is that while it hurts to get your heart broken, it just means that that person wasn't right for you. You shouldn't blame yourself. And you shouldn't let people make you think it isn't a big deal. You just need to accept it and start to recover. And remember that at least you can always talk to us here on TFP

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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in
Hold you in

ninnycode

I have been in love, twice. I had my heart broke once. I dated my ex for almost 2 years. I broke up with him because I am certain he was cheating (he still denies it). I immediately started dating another guy for about 3 months...not love-rebound guy. Then met my fiance. We have known each other 2 years and getting married soon. Having a broken heart stinks, but love is definitely worth the risk.

aphroditeskiss1

The one guy who broke my heart in a major way caused alot of damage. He was doing drugs at the end of our relationship and ended up doing some really messed up stuff that has caused me to have huge trust issues with guys. I also have reoccuring dreams of what he did to me that just don't go away. It's like someone video taped what was happening and plays it back in my head. I hate it, but more than that I hate the fact that after four years of not talking to this guys his very memory can still bring me to my knees and cause overwhelming feelings of hate and fear within me. I hate him for that and I always will. I hope to God that as few women out there as possible have to go what I went through with him.

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"You always said destiny would blow me away. But nothing's gonna blow me away"- Something Coporate
" I do not pop pills! I take them and I eat them..."
- Foamy's friend

pinkie

Ripped out of my chest like tearing open a glass door with a crowbar, utterly shattering every inch.

I had an ex who tortured me for 9 years, never letting go of me, and still cried to me, saying he'd never love again. I loved him so much, but he had so much growing up to do. We remained best friends throughout this time period. He died four years ago. He was also the father of my child. Knowing that he died in love and broken-hearted has been a daily struggle to cope with. All I know, is that letting myself marinate in my own sorrow and pain is not healthy, and suffering needs to end and healing begin. He never let that happen, that's what breaks my heart now and forever.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think to myself, I wish Darren were here - To watch his daughter grow up, and to realize that he could have been happy.

Janey

Oh my. Pinkie. My heart to you.