blktour

well i was just wondering..i have a "friend" that just lost a cat of 11 years.. now she is really hurt.. and we havent been talking for about a month.. just cuz she wont talk to me... the reason she wont talk to me.. is because i wasnt there for her when her cat died.. so i understand.. so i wanted to buy her new kitten.. do u think that is a good idea.. or a bad idea..

this girl is my ex girlfriend.. and doesnt want nothing to do with me.. she wont answer my calls.. or my emails.. or anything.. i know what i did was messed up.. but i feel bad.. and i wanted to get her a new "friend".. im not telling all but if you need more info.. let me know...
i love this girl. and have been calling her everyday and leaving her messages.. aobut how much i love her.. and such things.. but i dont stalk.. haha..

so opinions please.!!!

Coppertop

If she doesn't want you in her life my advice is to stay out of her life. Yeah, it sucks, but them's the breaks.

la petite moi

First of all, take an English class.

Second of all, don't get her a kitten. She may not want another kitten/cat because her old one was "much better" and another cat could never live up to his/her legacy. Instead, be there for your friend as much as you possibly can- your friend is grieving for the loss of a friend, so it's understandable that she is a little stand-offish.

Thirdly, stop pushing yourself on her. You claim you're not a stalker, but you leave her messages all the time. If she doesn't respond to your calls, it should mean something to you. Move on.

Grancey

Do not get her a kitten. She is the only one who will know when she is ready for a new cat in her life. To give someone a pet when that person has not expressed an interest in acquiring a new pet is a huge mistake.

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splck

Leave her alone, it's as simple as that..

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*Nikki*

Don't buy her a kitten. Don't call her when she doesn't call you back.

She will contact you when and if she wants to talk.

ICER

I'm in agreement with everyone else. Don't buy her one.

And stop chaseing her. Give her room to work things out.

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One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
~~David Letterman

MSD

Leave her one last message telling her that you're going to stop calling and to call you if she ever wants to talk. Drop it after that. Anything else can only make things worse.

blktour

hey all thanks for the help.. i felt that it was a good thing or just a nice jesture....and i guess i was just blinded by the fact that i love this girl and im not ready to let go.. but at the same time i was being selfish of my own wants.. and didnt respect hers.. and with the responses that i read.. it was a slap in the face.. to let it go.. and deep down i know she wont ever call me.. so the people that say to let her call me.. well.. i will do that.. but im not expecting a call back.. i will take the advice and not buy the cat... and will leave her one last message.. to let her know that i will always be there.. for her.. and ill leave it at that.. if she doesnt call.. then she wont i guess.. its just that i wasnt ready...

but ya.. i need to "take a hint" huh?? lol

hey thanks for not beating around the bush.. and telling me like it is...

i will keep everyone updated.. if anything happens..

Blackthorn

Constant phone calls, emails, etc are only going to remind her of everything that's bad about you and why she is no longer your girlfriend will remain and easy question to answer. I of course often find myself in just this position. You break up with her and she just has to keep calling, emailing and trying to break into your place to get back that one special pair of your undies...oh wait..maybe that's a story for another thread .

Leave this girl alone and for CRAP's SAKE do not buy her another animal.

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ironman

Leave her alone

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ShaniFaye

I had a bird for many years....One morning I got up and it was dead...I cried for weeks and was so upset I couldnt even stand to bury him....I got as far as putting him in a nice box, which I stuck in my freezer because no matter how many times I tried to dig the hole to bury him I couldnt. I REALLY grieved for Noah.....one of my best friends thought it would be best for me to have a new bird....so he bought me one complete with a brand new cage as a surprise.

You have to understand I hate birds, always have...but I came upon Noah at a mall pet store and for some reason could not leave him there, I HAD to buy him. I fell in love with him on the spot and we were inseperable at home.... I felt really obligated to keep the bird my friend bought me, but #1 it wasnt Noah...#2 I resented having to take care of Argyl, the bird must not have been well...he didnt live long (thru not fault of my own, lord knows I did my best to get him better). So, Argyl and Noah ended up in the same box and were put to rest together...

moral of the story....never buy someone a replacement pet, THEY will let people know when they are ready to handle the responsibility of another pet

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moonstrucksoul

one pussy deserves another, get her the cat and wait for the restraining order.

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blktour

what is that suppose to mean?????

i already said that i wouldnt buy her a new cat..

TexanAvenger

As usual, la petite moi nailed it on the head.

Nobody can replace a friend, and since pets generally turn out to be better friends than most people, it would not only be akward to give her a kitten, but almost, if not, repugnant.

As I sit here typing, my 11-year old dog is sleeping next to me and your entry got me thinking. I know his time isn't much longer, so I've been thinking about this lately. I've raised this dog since he was born, can hardly remember a time he wasn't around, cried when he ran away years ago, cried when I found him a week later... the list goes on. I can't even begin to set down how I really feel about him and what a good and loyal friend he's been over the years. If my ex, with whom I'm still in love and would do anything for, gave me a puppy after my dog died, I would go nothing less than apeshit on her, and she knows that, we've discussed it recently. And judging from your post, she may not be as wild about you as I am about my ex, so the action taken might not be quite so lenient...

I know you've already said you aren't going to get her a pet, and I commend the decision. As for the calling, e-mailing, etc... It feels like you're doing it to care, like you just want to help, and that may very well be the case, but it doesn't come off that way. It comes off more than a little bit like a form of mental illness and denial. (Though really, does not love feel like a minor mental illness?) I'm not saying that I think you have anything less than the best intentions; I, for one, know I did the same kind of thing in high school with two separate girls. But the point remains that she broke up with you for a reason and, whether or not that reason is clear to you, it was clear enough to her to end the relationship. Just like she needs time to build up to having another pet on her own, if she is going to have you around again in a friendly capacity, or otherwise, she has to come to it on her own terms. The persistant unwanted communication to the point of apparent slight mental illness does nothing but prolong, possibly indefinitely, the time it takes for her to feel as though she can come to you comfortably.

And for the record, even if she doesn't call back, I've found it entirely possible, though contrary to my earlier completely romantic ideas of love, to love more than one person at the same time. It's not nearly as easy as loving a single person, but possible nonetheless. Cheer up blktour, love's everywhere man. Just keep lookin'.

jujueye

No cat. No calls.

I have an even better idea: would you like a new cat yourself? Might turn out to be the best of both worlds....

Powderedmaggot

If you do decide to get her a cat go to the SPCA or humane society. Lots of kittens there that get killed if they don't get homes.

An ex that willnot talk to you cause you were not there for her when her cat croaked. Sounds to me like there is more to it than she is letting on and just using that as an excuse to end it. Walk on.

Hardknock

I thought they still taught English back home. Oh well.

I'll be blunt cause it's 1:30am and I'm tired. Don't get her a cat. Because the first thing she will say is, that the cat isn't good enough and can't replace the other one. If she's not returning your phone calls or emails, then I'd pretty much move on. No point wasting your time looking like a chump by knocking at her door all the time. Make her come to you.

jb101

Never buy anyone a pet as a gift unless you are 100% positive they want it.

Nothing worse than getting a 10+year responsibility that you don't even want.

Oh, and it sounds like you need to get over her.

tecoyah

You should never have killed the cat........A good Pussy is hard to replace.

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irateplatypus

most women would be offended if you cat-called them everyday.

seriously, she sounds like she is just using this as a reason to get some distance between you two. it's a dirty and indirect way to give someone a hint, but you aren't going to get anything out of her by leaving so many msgs and emails.

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If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill

jstory

i would get her a new cat, if i was you.

MsNobody

You could not stand to bury the bird, so you put it in the freezer? I am still trying to figure out the logic in that.

ShaniFaye

I wouldnt really think its that hard to figure out.....putting him in the freezer insured no smelly decomposition until I could emotionally bury him.....I didnt want someone else doing it for me. Where should I have put him?

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!