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Originally Posted by la petite moi
First of all, take an English class. 
Second of all, don't get her a kitten. She may not want another kitten/cat because her old one was "much better" and another cat could never live up to his/her legacy. Instead, be there for your friend as much as you possibly can- your friend is grieving for the loss of a friend, so it's understandable that she is a little stand-offish.
Thirdly, stop pushing yourself on her. You claim you're not a stalker, but you leave her messages all the time. If she doesn't respond to your calls, it should mean something to you. Move on. |
As usual, la petite moi nailed it on the head.
Nobody can replace a friend, and since pets generally turn out to be better friends than most people, it would not only be akward to give her a kitten, but almost, if not, repugnant.
As I sit here typing, my 11-year old dog is sleeping next to me and your entry got me thinking. I know his time isn't much longer, so I've been thinking about this lately. I've raised this dog since he was born, can hardly remember a time he wasn't around, cried when he ran away years ago, cried when I found him a week later... the list goes on. I can't even begin to set down how I really feel about him and what a good and loyal friend he's been over the years. If my ex, with whom I'm still in love and would do anything for, gave me a puppy after my dog died, I would go nothing less than apeshit on her, and she knows that, we've discussed it recently. And judging from your post, she may not be as wild about you as I am about my ex, so the action taken might not be quite so lenient...
I know you've already said you aren't going to get her a pet, and I commend the decision. As for the calling, e-mailing, etc... It feels like you're doing it to care, like you just want to help, and that may very well be the case, but it doesn't come off that way. It comes off more than a little bit like a form of mental illness and denial. (Though really, does not love feel like a minor mental illness?) I'm not saying that I think you have anything less than the best intentions; I, for one, know I did the same kind of thing in high school with two separate girls. But the point remains that she broke up with you for a reason and, whether or not that reason is clear to you, it was clear enough to her to end the relationship. Just like she needs time to build up to having another pet on her own, if she is going to have you around again in a friendly capacity, or otherwise, she has to come to it on her own terms. The persistant unwanted communication to the point of apparent slight mental illness does nothing but prolong, possibly indefinitely, the time it takes for her to feel as though she can come to you comfortably.
And for the record, even if she doesn't call back, I've found it entirely possible, though contrary to my earlier completely romantic ideas of love, to love more than one person at the same time. It's not nearly as easy as loving a single person, but possible nonetheless. Cheer up blktour, love's everywhere man. Just keep lookin'.
