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#1 (permalink) |
Filling the Void.
Location: California
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Why Guys Got it Good...
1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always. 3. Your last name stays put. 4. The garage is all yours. 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair. 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8. You don't give a shit if no one notices your new haircut. 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10. Same work .. more pay. 11. Wrinkles-add character. 12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17. One mood, ALL the time. 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20. You can open all your own jars. 21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." 27. No maxi-pads. 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades. 33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. 34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. 36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes. 37. The world is your urinal. |
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#4 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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4. The garage is all yours.
Says who, power tools are fun 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. One word -- Vegas! Elope 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair. they're life, they're conscience 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. Never had one lie to me yet... 8. You don't give a shit if no one notices your new haircut. What new haircut? Ponytails were invented for a reason 11. Wrinkles-add character. My laugh lines have character, wouldnt trade them for anything- means I've laughed 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. Vegas - Elope -- Levis 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Sneakers never do that 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. damn straight they are - if you can't say it in 30 seconds it can't be said 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 7 days - 1 suitcase 20. You can open all your own jars. uhh - yah 23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 37 and single no one except my mother notices 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. why do you need more than that? 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. there are more than five? 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. THis requires neurons to fire? Lefty loosey - -righty tighty -- jeesh I must be a guy.... This is so sad.... ![]()
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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#7 (permalink) | |
I'm not about getting creamed, I'm about winning!
Location: K-Town, TN
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Quote:
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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." --Aristotle |
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#8 (permalink) |
The Northern Ward
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Don't know about that. For the most part that's how we should act, but recently someone's been turning our culture into a bunch of pussies.
Patton would be sad.... Just kidding, he'd be pissed off.
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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy |
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#10 (permalink) |
Idolator
Location: Vol Country
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Wow, being a man rocks.
I wouldn't trade places with any woman in the universe after that post. Just gonna ride this having-a-penis thing out.
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"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons |
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#11 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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I don't know - There's 100 reason's why it's better to be a chick!
We can get laid anytime we want We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk We get out of speeding tickets by crying We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg We can sleep our way to the top of the class We get to shop at Victoria's Secret We can marry rich and then not have to work We never have to pay when we go out on dates Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them Men light our cigarettes for us Men hold the door open for us We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!) We're cuter We lie better We're better manipulators We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch We always have food in the fridge We don't worry about losing our hair We always get to choose the movie We dont have to mow the lawn We dont have to take out the garbage We dont have to paint the house or walls PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men Cosmopolitan We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold PMS is a legal defense for murder Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever We can masturbate more in a day than men 2 words- multi orgasmic We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals Sweat is sexy on us We never run out of excuses You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner Women are cleaner Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know) We're better arguers We dont always have to think with our genitals Massage!!!! We're better parents We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men We're flexible When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50 Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex Men in uniform There is no penis envy We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up It generally takes us less to get drunk We have a higher tolerance to pain We often get to cut in line Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT Better tips Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume! We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want We dont have excessive amounts of body hair We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet Men will pay us for sex Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us Women sweat less Women smell better When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats Women dont get the humor in the three stooges Women have three accessible holes We don't get embarassed when buying tampons We're better gossips We have better fashion sense We're better shoppers We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you) We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage We dont have to drive when on a date An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line Women know how fake it Women look better naked We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short Women do less time for violent crime Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye" Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood Women never have to see combat The remote control is not an extension of ourselves Women are sexier We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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#17 (permalink) |
Insane
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It's true, being a bloke has its good points, the down side being we are the ones to buy drinks . . .
SnOoP ps: I'd still like to be a woman just for 1 day . . .
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------------------------------------------------ Insert Witty Slogan Here . . . . . |
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#18 (permalink) | ||
Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!!
Location: IN, USA
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I don't feel like replying to all of 'em right now, but here's two to point out.
Quote:
I myself wouldn't hit back if you were a guy or a girl and avoid the fight at all costs... its how I am.. not because of the sex that wants to do the fighting. Quote:
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RoboBlaster: Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it. |
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#19 (permalink) | |
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Location: right here of course
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Quote:
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Started talking to yourself I see. Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation. Black Adder |
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#20 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Fort Worth, TX
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Quote:
He would wake up in the hospital if I ever saw a guy hit a girl. The only time I saw it before I was pulled off by 3 guys, but not before I broke 3 ribs, his nose, and knocked out a tooth. Say what you want about equality but that doesnt fly with me. |
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#22 (permalink) |
Shade
Location: Belgium
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Seaver: there is a difference between being in a fight, and beating up somebody...
If they are in a fight, you could break it up, but I don't see the whole point of you going at it with the guy at that point. If he's just beating up and keeps going at it, that would be different. But I still wouldn't in return rough him up. One or two punches if that's what it took to snap him out of it, sure. 1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview. Try getting a job as a waiter, might be surprised sometimes ![]() 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. Kinda hard to fake it, but it still happens 4. The garage is all yours. Keep it, don't need 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Meh, that's because most of the time, it's the women that really care and want to see it done just right, we figure it's best not to get involved ![]() 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair. Actually, just as much as anybody else... 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. They try to anyway. 8. You don't give a shit if no one notices your new haircut. 3/4 of an inch or a half inch, what's the big deal? ![]() 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. Dear God NOO 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. No, but they do at your crotch if they're ladies ![]() 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Oh yes they do! If they're not sneakers, they can just as well cut or blister... If they mangle your feet, I'd suggest getting other shoes ![]() 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. what maleficent said ![]() 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. so does a 2, 3 or 4 dag vacation 20. You can open all your own jars. aha, saving grace! 21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. point ![]() 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. only counting those for daily use, it's even a bit much ![]() 26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." Too true, aye ![]() 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. ![]() 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. Well, there *are* only 7 colors really, so lets keep it at 7. 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. to the right, except on gas cannisters. This works for everything, not just nuts ![]() 32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades. see point 8 33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. what's wrong with big hips? 35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. so can you, just try it 36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes. heh, make that 30 seconds. My mother takes care of that for all our relatives, we just chip in with money every year for the last 8 years. 37. The world is your urinal. aaaaaaaaaah, and a breezy one it is at that...
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Moderation should be moderately moderated. |
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#23 (permalink) |
Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind
Location: Oreegawn
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what's even more funny is how few of those apply to me.
__________________
Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane. |
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#25 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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Icelanders don't take the man's name but the father's name along with if you are a male, son and a female, dottir....
so Johnson or Johnsdottir
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
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#27 (permalink) | |
Insane
Location: Within the Woods
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Quote:
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There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth - all organisms eventually perish. |
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#31 (permalink) | |
Quadrature Amplitude Modulator
Location: Denver
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Re: Why Guys Got it Good...
Quote:
![]() #3 depends only on the woman (so don't blame it on guys ![]() #4 depends on the guy... although I wouldn't use a garage for the purpose you're probably thinking of... #16 depends on the guy... new shoes usually give me blisters for a week or so, until I break them in. #17... uhm, ok. ![]() #18... yeah right, I've seen guys talk on phones for friggin hours... even when it's not their woman on the other end! #20 again depends on the woman. If you want to live with weak arms/wrists, so be it. ![]() #31... depends on if the guy is or has been involved in white collar situations... #35... I can "do" my nails with my teeth. And frequently do. Nice list of stereotypes...
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"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb |
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#33 (permalink) | |
<3 Peetster
Location: Peetster's house.
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Quote:
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Honey,We're home. |
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#35 (permalink) |
Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!!
Location: IN, USA
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to the boobs... wow. haha
Seaver: I myself wouldn't ever hit anyone unless I needed to, but I extend this to both men and women alike. My point was that if a woman hits you completely thinking she wont' be hit back because she is a woman deserves something. That 'rule' was a way of showing respect.. but why does the 'rule' still exist when she's hitting you thinking she has no consequence?
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RoboBlaster: Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it. |
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#37 (permalink) | |
Too Awesome for Aardvarks
Location: Angloland
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Re: Why Guys Got it Good...
Quote:
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#39 (permalink) | |
Insane
Location: Vancouver Island BC
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Quote:
We would just stay home and play with them all day.
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Book 'em Danno |
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#40 (permalink) |
Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
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I wonder if there was a neonatal "what gender would you like to be" option before you were born, with pros/cons listed, how many people would actually switch. I've noticed some people me say that girls or guys have it better than the other, but that isn't enough to convince them to switch teams if they could.
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
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good, guys |
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