06-23-2004, 08:10 PM
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#33 (permalink)
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<3 Peetster
Location: Peetster's house.
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Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
I don't know - There's 100 reason's why it's better to be a chick!
We can get laid anytime we want
We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk
We get out of speeding tickets by crying
We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
We can sleep our way to the top of the class
We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
We can marry rich and then not have to work
We never have to pay when we go out on dates
Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them
Men light our cigarettes for us
Men hold the door open for us
We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
We're cuter
We lie better
We're better manipulators
We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch
We always have food in the fridge
We don't worry about losing our hair
We always get to choose the movie
We dont have to mow the lawn
We dont have to take out the garbage
We dont have to paint the house or walls
PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men
Cosmopolitan
We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole
Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold
PMS is a legal defense for murder
Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever
We can masturbate more in a day than men
2 words- multi orgasmic
We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals
Sweat is sexy on us
We never run out of excuses
You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often
Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too
We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back
We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often
We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner
Women are cleaner
Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)
We're better arguers
We dont always have to think with our genitals
Massage!!!!
We're better parents
We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men
We're flexible
When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can
Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50
Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex
Men in uniform
There is no penis envy
We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up
It generally takes us less to get drunk
We have a higher tolerance to pain
We often get to cut in line
Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT
Better tips
Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting
We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public
Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!
We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want
We dont have excessive amounts of body hair
We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet
Men will pay us for sex
Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile
We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want
Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us
Women sweat less
Women smell better
When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all
Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats
Women dont get the humor in the three stooges
Women have three accessible holes
We don't get embarassed when buying tampons
We're better gossips
We have better fashion sense
We're better shoppers
We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man
Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone
Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)
We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage
We dont have to drive when on a date
An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked
Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line
Women know how fake it
Women look better naked
We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing
When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short
Women do less time for violent crime
Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up
An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night
Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"
Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood
Women never have to see combat
The remote control is not an extension of ourselves
Women are sexier
We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
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Maleficent,That was beautiful it brought a tear to me friggin eyes..  I laughed so hard.
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Honey,We're home.
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