mrsandman

I was a firefighter once and have done other things that could be considered dangerous. I can vividly recall each time that I almost got killed.

Once, I almost got blown off of an aerial ladder, about 80 feet up in the air because of a loose connection on the water gun. (Rookie did it.) Many times I didn’t have my life belt on…that time I did.

Does anything stand out in your past that gave you a glimpse of the Grim Reaper?

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Hail to ALL the troops and shadow warriors.

Cynthetiq

yeah... last week... my pancreas decide it wanted to do something else that the rest of my body didn't want to. Luckily the rest of the bod won that battle.

the absolute closest... August 2002. I had an asthma attack in Minerva, NY in a dusty cabin 20 minutes from the nearest urgent care facility, 1 hour from the nearest hospital.

It was like drowning without water. It was at that moment I realized how much my wife really means to me as I didn't think about myself passing but what my life means to my wife and what she would have to deal with without me.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Grondar

I was driving once one a 2 lane road (both ways). The road goes down a huge hill, and allows passing on the side I was on.

At the time I felt the need to be at the front of traffic (which was 2 cars), so I opted to pass them going down this hill. The problem is that oncoming traffic is also coming down a huge hill (think valley), so as a result I pulled out to pass, was halfway through passing the 2 cars on my right, and the minivan that was far off is suddenly dead ahead of me.

He pulled to the shoulder as much as he could and I gunned it and made the pass.. But I almost died, and unfortunately the driver of the van would have died too due to my desire to pass.

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"Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that." -Stewie

spectre

More times then I'd like to remember.

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"Fuck these chains
No goddamn slave
I will be different" ~ Machine Head

Lebell

Yes,

When I was about 2 I feel into a pool at a party me and my parents were at. Luckily my dad saw me fall in.

In my teens I tried to kill myself numerous times behind the wheel of my Mustang, but fortunately I didn't succeed.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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WhoaitsZ

I've almost died five times. i'm had a very eventfull life.

doctors said i'd be ddead at 7. i'm 24 heh. i once could not breathe at all.. on my way home from a vacation. thank god there was a hosptial close by and thank God an old 1986 van could go well over 99mph. 30 seconds longer i would have aquired brain damage. another 30 seconds and i would had not breathed.

i've landed on my head once.. my chair quit working, rolle d back off a steep ramp. every bit of the weight of myself and the chair was on my head and neck. one reason I believe in God. my neck should had snapped.

so , there are two examples. i've had much worse...

phoenix1002

I was boogie boarding at Ocean City NJ, and a wave came down on top of me, flipped me over, then pinned me down underneath my board underwater. It must have been a pretty big wave, cause it held me down there for what seemed to be quite a long time. Luckily, I popped back up with a bit of water in my lungs after the wave passed. That was my closest, and it was close enough for me...

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I'd rather be climbing...

I approach college much like a recovering alcoholic--one day at a time...

bfresh

There was the time when I was removing a 10,000 gallon gasoline storage tank. I was sitting on top of the tank connecting the cable and hook of the trackhoe to a hole in the tank. When the trackhoe operator started pulling on the tank the metal hook rubbed against the metal of the tank which inturn cause a spark to drop into the "empty" tank. Luckily for me there wasn't enough oxygen in the tank, just enough to cause a small flash fire and a slight bulge in the tank (mrsandman as an ex-fireman I'm sure you've heard the sound of explosive vapors igniting before).
I kind of felt like Slim Pickens from the movie "Dr. Strangelove" except I didn't have a cowboy hat.

Nhanced1

So far just once.

I was driving my 1980 toyota corolla down a highway here at about 60mph, when someone turned left in front of all of us and we had to slam on our brakes to avoid hitting the turning car. Well, of course my older car doesnt have anti-lock brakes, and ended up locking my brakes and skidding a good way until the car started to fishtail and slid at an angle similar to this slash ( / ). then it started to roll over and if i hadnt let off of the brake at the right time, I would have rolled the thing and probably would have died at that speed. I ended up in the right lane after starting in the middle lane, and I actually narrowly avoided hitting 3 cars around me at the time.

thats the closest so far.

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"Sell Crazy Somewhere Else, We're All Stocked Up Here," Jack Nicholson - As Good As It Gets

Phaenx

Some soccer mom pulled her damn suv out in front of me when I was driving along once at an intersection. The light was green when I approached it, she was turning right into my lane, and she looked to see if anything was coming, but unfortunately the sun was both at my back and she was a moron. Wasn't wearing my seatbelt, so I'm sure my head would be through the windshield and she'd probably be dead at the angle I would have hit her.

Good thing for my ninja-like reflexes.

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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

PataQ

more times than i'd care to discuss, and more times (nearly) self inflicted, ill leave it at that

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O_O!
I'm an assistant coffee boy in qpid's liberation army so we can take over the world before Microsoft does. Join the Revolution!

The_Dude

damn, i've never been in a life-threatning situation

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"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

PataQ

dont worry, you're not missing much.

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O_O!
I'm an assistant coffee boy in qpid's liberation army so we can take over the world before Microsoft does. Join the Revolution!

vermin

Ice and slush covered interstate. Me in a 92 chevy baretta doing 60 mph which was way too fast. Moved into the left lane to pass some moron driving a safe and controlled 40 mph and I hit a lump. Not sure if it was ice, snow or small animal, but the back end fishtailed 45 degrees one way, then 45 degrees the other way (always steering into the skid), THEN I took my foot off the gas and after more fishtailing, regained control and did 35 the rest of the way to Green Bay. There have been others, but that was the most recent, about 6 years ago.

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

imemine

I'm happy that I never got stuck in those type of situations!

mrsandman

I was 18 and home on leave from the Marines, and picked up a girl in a bar, and we were drunk and headed to lovers lane. (Yeah, I was underage and drinking). It was raining, and we were smooching (yeah AND driving) and I was pointing out the red lights as I ran them…WHEN… my left front tire climbed up over the median…overcompensating, I yanked the wheel to the right and hit the brakes and went into a backwards skid towards the right curb. I hit it backwards, and flipped, I don’t know how many times, rolled down a hill between telephone poles and trees, just short of a cement bridge over a river, and ended up upside down on a golf course…I can’t remember what hole. (For you Detroiters, it was Plymouth Rd. (I think) and the Rouge River, I was headed for Rouge Park.)
We hit so hard I lost my wallet. The BORROWED car was totaled, and neither one of us was hurt…at all. I had sore shoulders the next day, from banging against the roof. Never got laid, obviously, and never saw her again. (Bad first impression, I guess.) I had much difficulty explaining my misfortune to the owner of the car. I still have a photo of me standing next to the car… it only comes up to my waist. Lucky ain't the word.

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Hail to ALL the troops and shadow warriors.

frenik

Only once that I can recall. One night I was pulling into an unbusy intersection during a freshly green light, when I looked to my left and saw a pickup truck traveling at least 70 towards the intersection. About 2 seconds probably passed between the time I realized he was going to blow the light and when he blazed just past my front bumper, my brakes squealing. I consider myself lucky to have looked when I did, and praise my driving school teachers for implanting the idea to always look, even during a green light. I remember I sat in the lonely intersection for the remainder of the green light, only beginning to move again when the yellow glow startled me back to the present world. I was shaken for about a half hour afterwards.

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I don't know what's worse, that I dreamed about putting my ex-girlfriend in a woodchipper, or that I woke up with an erection. - jim norton

Shadowman

Yep, and it even happened today. I was working on a live switchboard, but the section I ws working on wasn't live. I slipped when I was drilling a hole for a new piece of equipment, and my hand landed across the busbars. 440V or pure oompf. I passed out, and have just got home from the hospital. I still feel like shit!

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Shadowman

termnl

more than a few.....

One that stands out is when I was riding through some nice twisties in the hills.....probably going a bit faster than I should have been....but not so fast that I couldnt keep it in my lane.

A minivan came around the bend while I was in a hard lean on a tight curve......and it was fully in my lane.

I had to lean the bike down hard....so hard that I was losing grip on both tires....just to avoid the van......

still only missed it by a few inches.....but if we would have made contact, I would have gone over the edge of a cliff.

Very scary.

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Read the date
on the outside of my cocoon.
It specifies my release...
but im running out of room.

Maveric

i've had a few myself, but he last time happened in a movie theater....

I was bored and went to the movie theater to catch a flick. There wasn't any good movies showing but I was bored so I decided to watch Dumb and Dumber. I really have a strong disliking for most slapstick comedies but like I said, I was bored....

I bought some twizzlers and a soda and took my seat inside the theater. I had my choice of seats as NO ONE was inside, appearantly I was the only loser bored enough to go see this movie. And so the movie begain and I watched...

I was surprised... I mean it was so terribly stupid, sooo unbelievably dumb that it was HALARIOUS! I've never laughed as hard while watching a movie as I did that movie. Then came the Toilet Scene... For those who don't know, the movie is about these two bumbling idiots who go on an adventure to return a briefcase full of money to a mysterious lady... anyways in this particular scene one of the guys (Jim Carrey) pours a half of a bottle of concentrated liquid laxative in his buddy's coffee as payback for dating the girl he is interested in.... Anyways the guy arrives at the girl's house and then the laxative kicks in and he runs straight to the bathroom, then halarity ensues... during the scene he is convulsing on the toilet I laughed so hard I starting choking on the twizzzlers I was eating. I started choking and sufficating for what seemed like several minutes. I started to lose consciousness everything started to go dark and I started to see a light in the distance (it was probably just the movie screen but ya never know). And the only thing I could think about was-

"fuck me!, I'm going to appear in tomorrow headlines in the newspaper as the man who died alone in a movie theater while watching a Jim Carrey movie..."

then I swallowed the bit of twizzler and took a great big gasp of air and started coughing...

mrsandman

Hilarious escape from the reaper, I'll bet it wasn't funny then.

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Hail to ALL the troops and shadow warriors.

jets

As a kid, I once tried to syphon gas outta the lawnmower for my mini dirtbike and naturally I didn't know what I was doing and swallowed the gasoline. It blocked my throat and I could not breathe. I ran around like a chicken with no head, running hysterically. My mom ran me down and gave me mouth to mouth. I then puked for two days steady.

One other time I ran a YELLOW light and some cunt was "timing the stoplight" from the other direction and she fucking t-boned my eagle talon at 90KM/h in her '81 oldsmoblie. My car spun a 180 and when I came to and few minutes later my head was split open and a mob of onlookers were there to greet my return to the thing we call life. Musta been out for a while now that I think of it.

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Hey. Wasn't Me.

louiedog

i've had a few but i'll just tell one of the more memorable

a few years ago when i was in high school we were dismissed early because of reports of major flooding around the entire school district. as i was driving up my dirt road i noticed that a stream of water was collecting on the road where there hadn't been one before. it was about 15 feet across and had worn the road down a couple of inches. i sat about 10 feet from it debating whether or not i should go across. my odds were pretty good since i was driving my mom's all wheel drive subaru but i didnt want to get all four wheels stuck because it was pretty wide. i decided to chance it instead of taking the long way around and i took my foot off the brake when the entire section of road washed away in a huge mudslide and down the side of the hill.

starlite

yes, my ex was very abusive and at the very end when i realized what was happening and i was trying to get out, he locked me in his house and tried to shoot me, but he only acted like he was going to shoot himself to get me at closer range.

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I try to write my feelings so I will right now. . .

I only post to get feed back. I think its a little rude when you read and dont even bother to make a little comment.
Please do because this helps me a great deal.
Thank you

~Sarah~

HeyAgain

Twice, both drowning-related in a swimming pool. Thank god for lifeguards.

Lucifer

I once had an AK-47 pointed at my gut by a drunken Tanzanian Customs Guard at about 11 o'clock at night. This guy was so drunk, he could barely stand; he thought I was lying to him (I wasn't, but that didn't help the situation) and I kept thinking,"This guy is going to stumble in a minute, and I'm going to get cut in half!"

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I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321

reconmike

Shot in the back while running for our lives while I was in the Marines, shitty little jungle in a shitty little country trying to help promote democracy. Nothing like a hot piece of metal to ruin your whole outlook about a place. I bled off and on for 2 days before the corpsman could get it to stop completely.

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Where is Darwin when ya need him?

WhiteDevil

I once dated a woman whose mother could assemble an AK-47 blindfolded, whose father was an untreated schizophrenic, whose brother weighed 300 pounds and had a history of assault charges, whose family kept a piranha tank in the living room, and had sex in her house, with people in the next room, me banging the headboard rather loudly against the wall. Subsequently, I found out I could put my clothes on really f'ing fast.

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Join me or die! Can you do any less?

Sun Tzu

I was thrown off an IBS by a huge wave. The undertow thrashed me around a bit, but I managed to get my break loose. When I tried to surface other IBSs were interlocked with the one I was thrown off of. I couldn’t find an opening to surface and get air. I was violently hitting the bottom of the rafts clawing along desperately trying to get air. I blacked out and came to inside the raft that my boat crew was in. I still don’t know how that happened to this day.

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To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking

Snoogans

I once had a loaded light support machinegun aimed at me during an exercise in the army. The person holding the gun I wouldn't trust for a second. I have never been so scared in my life.

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Internet hint: If someone's asking if what they do is weird, it always is.

raeanna74

A couple times. Once was shingling a steep pitched 2 story farm house. Had a rope tied to my belt and slipped as I was taking off the the scaffolding at the top. grabbed the rope and slide to a stop with my feet dangling over the edge. Another time was a passenger and 7 month pregnant in a car accident. Hit a steel guard rail at 45 mi/hr. Hit a curb before hitting the rail and bounced. Only about 3 inches of the bumper caught the rail. If we had gone over it would have been quite the ride. We were looking at the tops of tall pine trees when we came to a rest. Just had minor injuries and the baby was fine. Also had a bicycle accident, cracked my skull and got a head concussion, and they were afraid I'd already drifted into a coma before I got to the hospital. Amazingly I haven't broken any limbs or other bones besides my skull. Now you know what's wrong with me. Some marbles must have leaked out.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

snowace56

me and a couple of buddies were in my friends acura integra going 35 and he was getting into the right lane when a jeep going 70 slammed into the side and back of the car. If my friend had been another foot into the right lane the jeep would have gone over the acura killing all of us. I couldn't believe how lucky I am to be alive.

Jesus Pimp

I almost slammed head on into a red jeep cheroke due to slippery road conditions a while back, but luckily drove into a ditch and almost died a 2nd time. I got fined $200 for it.

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Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

Fotzlid

the incident that made the most lasting impression on me was a near miss traffic accident.
i had just bought a new car about 2 months after totalling the previous one. the new car was a 5 speed and i wasnt used to the clutch yet. i was at a light waiting for the green. when it changed, i got off the clutch too quick and it jerked into the intersection and stalled. i got it fired up quickly, put it in gear and was about to proceed when a semi-trailer went barrelling through the intersection, running the red light at about 40mph. missed me by a couple of feet.

Kaimi

Once I was driving this crappy car I think it was a ford tempo. It was icy and a Garbage hauler slid on the ice into the passenger side of my vehicle which then pushed me into traffic where I took a Semi head on. I came out of that with barely a mark surprisingly enough, but it took me a month before I could stomach a drive again.

snowy

I've had two situations in my life that could have been a lot worse than they ended up being. Now that I'm an adult, they're even scarier to me now than when it happened, as I understand better now the real danger I was in.

The first was a serious bumper car accident shortly after I turned 5. An older friend accompanied me on to the ride, while my mom watched. T. and I were trying to get my seat belt on, and had only managed to get it as far as my neck when the ride started. Our bumper car went straight into the edge of the platform, and I ended up with my face landing on the dash, teeth-first. Two of my teeth were knocked back, not out, and I was strangled by the belt. A bloody mess, the ride operator merely picked me up and deposited me in my mom's arms. The ride to the hospital is a complete blur; I only really remember it because my blood stained the back seat of our car, and years later it would bring the memory to mind. My next memory is of being in a hospital bed, in a neck brace, and hearing my mother being told that it was fortunate I didn't crush my trachea.

We ended up in a legal wrangle with the carnival company because they refused to pay the copays for my dental work and hospital visit. I had to have two oral surgeries to pull the teeth that had been knocked back and to pull another tooth that died from the trauma. The company actually ended up paying more than my dad originally asked for, simply because of their refusal to pay anything until my dad got an attorney involved.

The second time I came close to death was a couple years after the bumper car incident. I came down with a really bad case of strep throat on a Friday. My parents tried to get me into the local doctor's office, which was the only option around, as we lived in a very rural area. But the receptionist said they had no appointments, not even for someone as sick as I was rapidly becoming. Saturday morning I woke up with a rash around my midsection--scarlet fever. Most of that day is a hot blur. When my fever spiked over 104, my parents decided it was time to make the drive to the hospital. Once there, I was given an injection of penicillin. I am so thankful for antibiotics. They saved my life. The hospital's treatment also kept the strep from causing me lasting problems.

Otherwise, I've always been a really healthy person, and am generally not accident-prone. Thank goodness, as my brother more than makes up for me. He's had more brushes with death than anyone else I know.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Fotzlid

hmm...1/4 of the posts are vehicle related...

surferlove007

While having car issues I was commuting via my road bike about 5 miles to school each way. One time when crossing a heavily traveled street it was clear and a car turned and sped up nearly clipping my back tire. I thought I was going to die at the moment. I made it across and got off my bike sat down and cried for several minutes. A truck pulled over and asked if I was alright. I called James hysterical and from then on I've been very paranoid to ride on the roads in cities. A lot of folks are not biker friendly, that's why I worry about James riding to and from work so much.
Too close of a call for me. I'm still hesitant.

Plan9

I refuse to answer this based on the fact that it may jinx me.

A. Iraq
B. That thing I did inbetween
C. Afghanistan

Who said that line in that one movie? "I ALMOST DIED. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!"

Yeah. Just like that.

"Ban cars, not guns. They kill more of your friends than any other leading cause. They're responsible for global warming, too!"

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Willravel

I remember posting about mine before. The big two are heart surgery (where I died, so does that not count?), and getting shot in the leg (had it hit a few millimeters to the right on my leg, I would have bled to death driving myself to the ER). I've got a few more, but they're not really necessary compared to these.