Plan9

And I'll pop another cap in yo honky ass if I see you dealin' on my corner again!

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Willravel

You're just trying to activate a PTSD flashback, you flashback causer.

Plan9

Wayne Brady + Dave Chapelle = Crompsin + WillRavel

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

biznatch

Is Crompsin gonna have to choke a bitch!?

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Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

Ourcrazymodern?

I almost died, once or twice.
Does that count, like being killed?

"Burned all my notebooks; what good are notebooks?..."

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

noodle

I was 17, driving my not-so-cool 1979 Plymouth Volare out of the parking lot of my favorite health food store. I made the left turn towards the turn lane and per all accounts, some jackhole in a gold 1979 beemer came out from behind a pickup truck doing well over the 55 mph speed limit and t-boned me. 200 feet of skidmarks and the damage to the car (and me) indicated that he was doing around 65 at impact. Some duded broke out the rear windshield and held my head still. Had I not had my seatbelt on, I'd have slid across the bench seat and broken my neck on the passenger side door. The steering column broke and crashed downward and the front bumper of the beemer pushed in from my left and the force broke the ring off the bottom of my pelvis. It was lovely. And I got a $66.66 ticket for failure to yield right of way.

The second time I'd had a sore throat for several weeks and just thought it was laryngitis. Didn't have a doctor in Orlando as I was just there for grad school. Woke up one Sunday morning and was having trouble breathing, felt like I was choking on something. Started coughing and realized that my throat had cracked open and was bleeding. A friend got me to the hospital which promptly took a bloody swab and the ORMC assholes let me sit there for three hours because they lost my strep test. With my throat bleeding and swollen from what they actually determined was strep. One dose of penn and a nap and I was breathing fine.

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PonyPotato

September 2006, someone did a U-turn into the side of my car. Ended up breaking my rear axle in half, sending me careening off of the side of the road and nosediving into a ditch where my car flipped over and slid at least 100 yards.

When I got out of my seatbelt holding me upside-down in my still-running car, I just started screaming at the guy.

dksuddeth

riding the motorcycle home from work, approaching the 'high-five' split at 65 mph. I'm in the center lane when an SUV in the right lane nearly stops and turns sharp left across my lane to make the split for the other highway. we missed each other by 6 inches or less. the crash alone would have likely killed me and if that hadn't, the 110 foot fall over the guard rail most certainly would have.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

Plan9

I thought you didn't have a driver's license.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

World's King

Every time I read one of Crompsin's posts I die a little inside.


But other then that...



Yes, a few times. Most notable when my lung collapsed and died. Now I have half a lung on the left side. It's pretty cool. I had to learn how to breath all over again.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

little_tippler

A couple of years ago I was hit by a car while crossing the road on a zebra-crossing. I got projected through the air a few metres and landed on the road, butt first. Luckily the guy who hit me was going slowly and stopped once he'd hit me. I remember it quite vividly and it really did feel like everything was in slow-motion. What I remember most is landing on the road and letting out the loudest scream of my life. Funnily enough the feeling I remember the most is being incredibly angry. Thankfully I wasn't badly hurt.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

evilbeefchan

I'm in the same boat as everyone else who's almost drowned.

Crashed head-on with a drunk driver. It was about 1am, me and my coworker were headed over to my friend's house. Going northbound (for those in the Alhambra area, Garfield Blvd before Mission, across the street from that Animal hospital) when we notice this car make a WIDE left turn, swerve across all the lanes and ending up right in front of us. Was in the far right lane, couldn't swerve out of the way. The driver drove off, but the cops found him in a nearby parking lot. Turned out to be his 3rd DUI. The impact knocked us back and spun the car around. He ran into us then into a truck driving on the other side of the road. My coworker was driving, ended up breaking something in his leg. I was mostly sore from the seatbelt and airbag.

Seer666

I drove in Hawaii. Every day was taking my life into my hands.

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Bad spellers of the world untie!!!

I am the one you warned me of

I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.

dksuddeth

I don't. and yes, I still drive. It's my right.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

ItWasMe

About six months ago I stopped at a light and was (how do I say this without giving WK or Crompsin ammo?) hit from behind by a van. A couple of seconds later, there would have been 5 lanes of cross traffic. But I got to literally walk away, with only a very bad headache and sore body.

Does evading a kidnapping at age 12 count? *shaking head to clear the PTSD flashback*

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

analog

Yeah, good luck with that idea in court. First of all, no one has a "right" to drive. There is no "right to drive". And you'll be the first person to cry foul when you get arrested for driving without a license... because I'm sure you won't run your mouth to the cop or anything. Right to drive, my ass.

dksuddeth

we've had this lengthy discussion before. without being snotty or snide to you, i'll just agree to disagree with you.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

Willravel

There is no legal right to drive. While you may believe in an inalienable right to drive, if you go to court in such a case, you'll be found guilty and punished. Still, I'm really glad you're okay, DK.

dksuddeth

Thanks will, nothing provides more clarity to your life than passing within inches of 1,500 lbs of automobile at 65 mph.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

Willravel

That would make Evil Kenevil the next Dali Lama.

Fremen

I almost died this past summer.

My buddy and I were riding our 4-wheelers on trails near my house when he got a call to go pick up his little cousin, so he could ride with us.

Well, my buddy was in the lead on our way back to my house, he had gotten about a half mile in front of me, and I decide to hit the gas to catch up.

There are two streets that bisect the trail that we have to cross.
Well, in front of one of the streets is a dirt speed bump about 3 feet high.

I forgot it was there and saw it at the last second, hit the brakes and then the bump, and flew over the handlebars, bringing the atv over on top of me.

I broke my ringfinger in my left hand and wrenched my right knee, but the serious damage came when my head hit the ground and my forehead plowed along the ground a few feet.
I had torn my forehead open from side to side at my hairline, and peeled it back down to my eyebrows.

I managed to drag myself out from under the atv while holding my skinflap up to my head.

I tried to get up but couldn't make it because of my knee and hand.
So I sat there for a moment trying to calm myself, then I felt for my cellphone on my beltclip.

And of course, it was gone.

I finally found it by the 4-wheeler and called my buddy, told him about my wreck and to bring some towels, after he called the ambulance.

I was still about a mile from my house so it seemed to take him an hour to get back to me.

I was bleeding pretty heavily, but never lost conciousness, luckily, and he was able to direct the ambulance to the trail where I was located.

While I was waiting for him to come back, I called my brother and told him what happened, and that I loved him and to tell my mom and sister the same.
He didn't believe I wrecked at first.
He almost beat the ambulance to me when it finally sunk in, though. ;P

Without my buddy, and cell, I have no doubt I wouldn't be here.


After my initial ER stay where they stitched me all across my forehead, I had to be admitted to the hospital because of an infection.
I had all of my stitches out, the wound thoroughly debrided, then re-stitched with a drain hanging out of my forehead. (I felt like Frankenstein's monster)

It all finally healed and now I have this nifty forehead-wide scar in the shape of a McDonald's Golden Arches. (there went my modeling career)

I finally got back on the 4-wheeler this Fall and am going a leetle bit slower.

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Google

ametc

I overdosed on a mixture of Theraflu and Ambien.

It was awesome. I sometimes think of doing it again. It was a fun adventure. I just didn't like being put into a behavioral facility. :C

Plan9

Damn those warning instructions in five different languages on the back of the package.

...

Don't mess with Ambien. That stuff'll have you fighting evil smurfs with a Glock in the barracks at Fort Bragg after your sleepless post Iraqi tour detox sessions.

Not that I'd know or anything.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

lktknow

357 pointed at my head a few times by jealous ex boyfriend. Craziest thing about it, I went back with him after that. Oh the things we do when we are young and dumb...or at least the crazy things I did. I've been almost killed so many times , I am amazed I am still here. changed my ways though...

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Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. ~

Dammitall

My spleen flipped over on itself, cut off its blood supply and became septic when I was in the womb. The swelling this caused lead a radiologist to tell my mom that her sonogram results either showed she was having twins, or that her fetus would be born without a head.

I don't know exactly what my Apgar score was at birth, but it wasn't good. They operated to remove my dead spleen immediately after I was born, and I turned out just fine.

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If one million people replaced a two mile car trip once a week with a bike ride, carbon dioxide emissions would be reduced by 50,000 tons per year. If one out of ten car commuters switched to a bike, carbon dioxide emissions would be reduced by 25.4 million tons per year. [2milechallenge.com]

Vigilante

I've had a water moccasin fly between my feet as I jumped over it and spread my feet to avoid the bite. I'm 6'2 and that snake was at least as long as I am tall.

I bounced off my bike and landed on my shoulder from around 12 feet in the air. Green-sticked my clavicle. Doctor said if impact was an inch or 2 in further, I would be dead.

I was attacked by a dog at 2. I have the scars still, on my face.

I ran in a fire at 2 as well. Not sure what I was doing there. I have the scars on my feet still as well. Not sure how severe either of those were, but felt they might be worth mentioning since if they continued, I would be dead.

I had a wreck at 75mph. I blacked out but still managed to slam the brake and wake up with my foot pushing the pedal to the floor. If I hadn't, I would have careened through the air off a rail ahead of me....at 75mph in a dinky 92 nissan sentra.

I nearly drowned at ...13 I think. Maybe 12. Anyways, I was under long enough to breathe water, then cough it up after I got dragged out.

I got tracked and treed by a pack of wild dogs when I was cavorting through the woods. They never barked or even growled. They felt I was food, but I had other plans. After 45 minutes I bailed and ran to the edge of the woods so if I was still being tracked, at least I had room to fight with my 6 foot walking stick that I carried for such odd occasions....like dogs and water moccasins, and the occasional alligator.

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We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill

Zeraph

lol nature hates you ^^

Wow, I feel so safe. I've never even had a nose bleed. Ironically I do plenty of dangerous stuff too.

Vigilante

Hehe. You see they eye in your avatar? I've looked into eyes like that, face to face and not from behind glass

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We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill

mixedmedia

I almost got took by a man in a department store when I was 5 or 6 six years old. He chickened out. I'm still here. I still have the memories though. More of his car than of him. I remember how his car looked speeding away from me. It's always weird to think about now.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Gabbyness

Now THAT is a scary story Mixed!

Glad to see you made it out Ok!

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One, two, three, four, fiiiiiiiifth.

roachboy

many years ago after a night of heavy drinking, an old friend and i were chased into an enclosed parking lot by some gentlemen who had baseball bats. they beat the living shit out of us--he got the worst of it, though---from what i remember, i was hit in the head pretty quickly and was knocked out, but he tried to fight them.

i woke up in an emergency room in a hospital about 50 miles away. i have no idea how we got there.

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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

Zeraph

You win. I vote this the scariest story.

That reminded me of a time of something similar happening to me (but he never came close to actually grabbing my brother and I). This really weird dude (I think he dressed like a rapper to lure kids) followed us through the park when we were about 8, asking us repetedly if we wanted his autograph. Luckily we were into country music at the time

ItWasMe

I don't know how close to actually dying, but ... When I was about 9, the news said that we had a serial killer in our general area. Mom thinks that's who I spoke to on the phone, giving out information like when is dad home, how many kids, etc. Police said it was just a prank caller. Then he would show up at night, standing outside a bedroom window. Don't know how many times he was there watching us before mom noticed him in the middle of the night. Police still said either a prank, or a goofball that my dad scared off. They said he wouldn't come back. When he showed up at our front (locked) door and mom recognized the voice from the phone, we moved out of state.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

raeanna74

Plenty of times that I know of and I'm sure there have been many instances where a minor mistake could have meant death for me too.

1. I was 2 months old. My parents where in an accident in their VW when they were hit head on by drunk drivers. I was in a bouncy seat (they didn't have child seats or even seat belts in some cars then) and I was thrown up into the windshield and then fell back into the car. My mother tells me that she was concious and that another woman walked up to the front of the car and picked me up and out through the windshield (the front was so squashed she could just reach in) and told Mom that she'd take me to the hospital. There they removed MANY pieces of glass from my body, especially my hands.

2. Working on a 2 story farmhouse roof. Reroofing the house. We'd finished one side of the roof and were removing the roof jacks by hanging from an upper jack to pry off the lower ones. I slipped and if my brother hadn't grabbed my leg I'd have gone headfirst off that roof.

3. Another car accident. Hit a guardrail head on at 45+mph. Beyond the guardrail was a STEEP dropoff. If it hadn't been for my belt I would have been thrown through the windshield and out onto the tops of tall pine trees. I would have fallen so far as to practically ensure death. As it was my head hit the top of the windshield and I sprained my wrist but I and my as yet unborn daughter (8 mo pregnant) were fine.

Those are the most memorable.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

mixedmedia

I made it okay out of that one...other fucked up shit that has happened since...erm, that's debatable.
-----Added 15/1/2009 at 10 : 08 : 03-----
I dunno. Thinking about it now, it's just kind of vauge and unreachable. And I wasn't frightened at all at the time, until confusion set in after he left. There was this whole rigamarole he gave me about having to take me home and I totally believed him.

This was the early '70s and I was never told to be suspicious of strangers. It just wasn't something parents worried about.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

artisi

3 times or more - once in a head on collision in passenger seat of a 2006 honda accord, it was raining my friend was driving 50mph and i had no seatbelt on, airbag deployed and saved my life... A few weeks ago, a porsche almost ran me over on Sunset Blvd, and one time my father and i were driving across train tracks and the red lights did not blink and the train almost hit us...

Suave

Nothing particularly exciting. Almost got hit by cars moving at high speed a couple of times (but who hasn't? hah), and when I was in the mountains I almost slipped off a cliff. Oh! I got half-assed charged by a moose once. She started building speed and coming at me, and I was just kind of like "oh shit..." held up my hand in the universal signal for "stop" (hey, it works in the movies, right?) and she actually stopped.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

ohsweetjebus

yup almost drowned in the ocean "body surfing" when i was 16 and didn't realize a rip had developed... First and last time i go into the ocean without something that floats tied to me!

snowy

Or you could just learn to read the waves. I'm not saying you'll be safe once you learn to spot rips, but it can't hurt.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

dlish

i was hit by a swinging excavator at work a few years ago. it was a swinging arm that hit me square in the shoulder. i flew a few metres in the air.

a few inches higher it would have hit me straight in the side of the head. i'd have definately been dead. i decided to get out of onsite construction work after that.

a week later i fell into a 3m deep pit and missed some rebars by a few inches.

as an infant i drowned in the river. my father saved me in the nick of time as i had gone down for the last time. i remember the very instant that he grabbed my forearm and pulled me out. i remember it like yesterday

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy