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I once dated a woman whose mother could assemble an AK-47 blindfolded, whose father was an untreated schizophrenic, whose brother weighed 300 pounds and had a history of assault charges, whose family kept a piranha tank in the living room, and had sex in her house, with people in the next room, me banging the headboard rather loudly against the wall. Subsequently, I found out I could put my clothes on really f'ing fast.
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Join me or die! Can you do any less?
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