GF is sore after 1st time - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

dprince · 05-07-2005, 08:31 PM

Lover and I decided to have sex for the first time in both our lives after being together for a little over a year. We did it two weeks ago and it was amazing. It hurt her while we were doing it, which is expected. However is it normal for her to still be feeling sore and tender in her vaginal region 2 weeks after the fact? We haven't had sex since then and haven't messed around in that area much since. I just need to know simply how long it'll take for her to heal so we can go at it again. Thanks!

Sage · 05-07-2005, 08:56 PM

That is definitely not normal. However, it might be something as simple as her hymen is having a hard time healing because it is in a warm, moist enviroment all the time. Please, please, please, for her health and your sexual future together, have her go to a doctor to get checked out. Your doctor is bound by law to not disclose any information about your GF's visit to anyone else, so you don't have to worry about anyone "finding out" that you two had sex.

BTW- you are using protection? I don't want you coming back on here in a month going "I think my GF's pregnant!"

dprince · 05-08-2005, 05:31 AM

We used a condom and I'm positive the condom did not break.

Meditrina · 05-08-2005, 05:34 AM

I agree with Sage. She should go see a doctor. and now that you are sexually active, she should see a doctor at least once a year to make sure it all stays healthy. I do hope she is feeling better soon.

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 05:53 AM

I concur with the other two ladies, a doctor is a good idea.

Two weeks after is too long for soreness or tenderness to occur. Has she noticed if there was any redness or any rash of any type? Since you used condoms, I wonder if it's a sensitivity to condoms or the spermicide in the condoms.

The only other possibility, is that when you were having sex, there was not enough natural lubication and well, latex against skin could make for an uncomfortable feeling, but two weeks seems excessive.

Your profile doesn't say where you are, but if it's in the US, check planned parenthood's website for a location near you, and have her make an appointment to get checked out, if she doesnt want to go to her own family physician.

dprince · 05-08-2005, 06:00 AM

I think it was actually one month ago that we did it... I went down on her last night and she really enjoyed it. But when we tryed having sex she said it hurt to much to even let my penis in. She said it hurts to put a tampon in. She had her period about 2 weeks ago.

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 06:06 AM

Does she have any pain when she urinates? (YEs, I know it's not a question that comes up inday to day conversation) Prolonged pain could be a urinary tract infection..

We'll say it again... Go to a doctor.

dprince · 05-08-2005, 06:09 AM

She also told me that recently she has been experiencing a thicker vaginal discharge. What kind of doctor should I tell her to go see and how confidential is it.

Meditrina · 05-08-2005, 06:13 AM

Thicker vaginal discharge can happen around the time of ovulation. But she should still mention it to the doctor. Planned Parenthood is very confidential. In fact, any doctor cannot release information to just anybody without her consent (It is called the HIPPA act and the doctor office should be aware of it, and have her sign papers about it).

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dprince

She also told me that recently she has been experiencing a thicker vaginal discharge. What kind of doctor should I tell her to go see and how confidential is it.

Gynocologist and as Sage said up above, doctors are bound by law to not report anything. If she's underage, her parents won't find out. You could also go to a Planned Parenthood clinic.

If the discharge is not normal, then absolutely get to the doctor sooner rather than later.

While she's there, she could also discuss with the doctor alternate methods of birth control.

dprince · 05-08-2005, 06:19 AM

So you are saying that if she is underage and goes to see her pediatrician and her mother takes her, the parents won't ever know. She'll get to talk to the doctor and he'll check her out and find what is wrong? By herself and confidentially?

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 06:27 AM

How young is this girl? and how old are you?

How would she explain to her mother why she wants to go to the doctor? Fake a cough?

I'd really suggest that she go to a gynocoloist, and not a pediatrician.

dprince · 05-08-2005, 06:43 AM

She's 17. Her mom told her that she would take her to the gyno whenever she was ready to go. Mom said that about 3 or 4 monthes ago. So I hope that my gf can just say she is ready to go. Her mom won't be in the room with them if my gf doesn't want her to be, right? Everything my gf and the gyno talk about will be confidential and her parents will never know?

Meditrina · 05-08-2005, 06:44 AM

That is great that her mom said she would take her to the gyno. my mom would have never done that for me. If your gf does not want her in the room with her, she doenst have to. and it should be confidential. She should go.

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 06:53 AM

Did some googling on this, for patients under the age of 18, doctors offices may have different rules. She can call the doctor's office ahead of time (even anonymously) and ask the doctors office.

If she was over 18, then it's definitely confidential, doctor can't tell anyone, without permission from her. Under 18 -- it depends.

Her mom seems to be comfortable with the subject of her going to a GYN, why doesn't she talk to her mom about what's going on.

spincycle0 · 05-08-2005, 07:22 AM

soreness + thicker discharge possibly = yeast infection.

dprince · 05-08-2005, 09:25 AM

how does one get a yeast infection, how easy is it to cure, and is it possible to get one because of losing your virginity?

Squishor · 05-08-2005, 09:30 AM

Yeast infections are extremely common, and they can often manifest after intercourse. The underlying imbalance was likely there in the first place, but the friction just aggravated it. This happens all the time. It's easily cured with cream, no big deal. But she should go see a doctor!

ShaniFaye · 05-08-2005, 02:54 PM

She could have an allergy to latex like I do, its caused an infection more than once for me.

snowy · 05-08-2005, 03:18 PM

Get her to a doctor.

A good gyno will ask the mom to leave the room or stay in the waiting room as most of them know that their patients are likely to want to discuss things that they don't necessarily want their mothers hearing. (This makes me so thankful that I've always been open and honest with my parents.)

It could be any number of things causing soreness and only a doctor can establish which one it is. Good luck.

Sage · 05-08-2005, 04:22 PM

Dprince- you're asking a lot of good questions about sex, and seem like you genuinely want to eductate yourself about what's going on. GOOD FOR YOU! Might I suggest this website: http://www.sxetc.org/ - it's a sex ed site geared towards teenagers and it has tons of info that you and your GF will probably appreciate very much. If you would like sex to be all it can be (and who doesn't) the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do (for yourself and current/future lovers) is BE EDUCATED!! And make sure your sex ed is coming from people who know what they're talking about. Ask questions, get answers, be aware, be safe, have fun!

dprince · 05-08-2005, 04:53 PM

Alright, I have a serious problem. I mentioned to her about going to see the gyno but she imediately stopped me and said she didn't want to talk about that. I did some reading up on yeast infections and told her I think that it could be what she has. However, she wants to keep this extremely confidential. So confidential that she doesn't want to even ask her mom to bring her to any doctor, let alone the gyno. She doesn't want anyone to know about her problem. She has a problem talking to her parents about these kinds of things, and I really wish she didn't.

She keeps telling me to put myself in her shoes. She's just too afraid to tell her mom about her problem which fritghens me. I told her yeast infections are easily curable with some cream. So now what she wants to do is go to the store by herself, buy some cream, and hope for the best. I read that if you apply a yeast infection cream to yourself and you really don't have a yeast infection, it could make it so that when she really does have an infection her body will be immune to the cream. I still need to tell her this, and I know it's really going to set her off. She's been frightened all day by this, we really just need closure.

I seriously do not know what to do. I know what she needs to do, but she doesn't see it like I do, which I understand. She's the one that's directly affected by it. Any ideas what I can say to her?

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 04:54 PM

What town in Jersey are you... Planned Parenthood she can go to, without her mother knowing,and get herself checked.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp...=home&state=NJ

there should be one near you...

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 04:55 PM

yeast infections are generally easily treatable, and untreated can be very annoying. Going to PP will put her mind at ease and get the problem solved and they are discreet.

dprince · 05-08-2005, 05:00 PM

There's really one problem, neither of us can drive. Second, the Planned Parenthood closest to us is in Camden. She lives 5 minutes away from Camden, but if you know anything about Camden it's not like she can just walk in the place. I have heard CAmden is ranked the number one worst city to live in, in America. It's really a horrific place.

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 05:01 PM

take a cab or a bus? if you go during daylight hours, camden's not that bad.

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 05:03 PM

If it is a yeast infection, she could have gotten it in a variety of ways other than sex. It's not an automatic assumption that is what causes it, anything from tight clothes, to penicillan, to too much sugar in the diet can cause it.

dprince · 05-08-2005, 05:13 PM

You guys have been a big help. I starting to find that obtaining all this information is like a double edged sword. It's terrible news to hear and I get more scared when I learn more, but at the same time I know it's better to be educated now so that me and my girl can prevent this next time. I'm gonna take a break the rest of the night and play some video games or something to get my mind off this and just let it sink in. I'll be back tomorrow with more questions, thanks again everyone!

Lead543 · 05-08-2005, 05:19 PM

She needs to take responsibility for her sexual health. If she contracted a UTI or something she needs to go, the problem will only get worse. My mom would flip if she thought I was doing the nasty but I've had both a yeast infection and a UTI. One was from wearing vinyl underwear (WOOOHOOOOOO) and the other from something else unrelated to sex.

This might be kinda out of place for me to say. But if she's too "scared" to do something about her sexual health you might wanna put sex on hold. One of my girlfriend's was too "scared" to go to a doctor to get birth control (in Canada everything's confidential unles you're in danger) and she ended up with a bigger problem. Pregnant at 16. I've had a cousin contract "thingies" "down there" that were one step away from cancer because of an untreated std. Sex is a great thing but it also carries great consequences. The health and safety of the both of you is most important.

Just something to think about.

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 05:32 PM

When she has some time, have her take a visit to www.teenwire.org - -it's planned parenthood's site just for teens. There's lots of good info out there for her.

And Lead's making an excellent point, if she's not ready to take control of her sexual health, then she's not ready to be having sex. It's not something you want to hear, but she's got to be ready.

cellophanedeity · 05-08-2005, 08:30 PM

Get her best girlfriend to go with her to the clinic. (she has to go, there's no way around it.) I know you're her love and her lover, but sometimes a lady just needs another lady to stand with her.

If you're having sex, you need to have a pelvic examination at least once a year, and if there's something wrong with your lady bits, it's even more important to get checked out. The idea of pap smears is scary, I'll admit that I cried the morning before I went to my first, but it's really not that bad, if a bit awkward.

Your poor girl. It's so unnerving to have something strange happen to your lady bits.

dprince · 05-09-2005, 11:11 AM

I'm really lost. She said she is going to get the topical yeast infection cream this week. She said something like this has happened before and it just went away on its own. She keeps telling me that she knows her body better than I do, which is true. I don't know, she thinks I'm blowing this out of proportion by suggesting she see a doctor. You all said it is not normal to be sore a month after losing your virginity. That's the part that really scares me.

I'm just hoping that her body will heal. She feels that once her period comes around, it will wash her system clean and she will be all better again. I made her swear to me that if nothing changes after she gets her period, she will mention something to her mother. I've really just given up, I told her I'd back her up on whatever decisions she makes. It seems to me (I hope) that it's some mild form of vaginitis where some bacteria got in there and is messing with her. I've got nothing to do now but pray and hope for the best.

maleficent · 05-09-2005, 11:23 AM

You can't make her do what she doesn't want to do... If you keep on her, she'll only get ticked off... Hopefully she's not in avoidance about this problem she's having because it only gets more uncomfortable.

You've done all you can...

KinkyKiwi · 05-10-2005, 12:59 PM

at 17 are you sure that she can't just tell her mother that shes sexually active? btw kudos to you both for being so paitent. how much older are you then her? i dont think doctors can tell if youve had sex or not so couldnt she just tell her mom somethings bothering her down there and go get it checked out? i mean there are otehr things besides sex that can make your hymen break...tampons, horseback riding ect... its great that yoru so concerned and want to learn.

and past that mini rant i agree with mal..you have done all you can

ShaniFaye · 05-10-2005, 01:14 PM

has she been on any kind of anti biotics at all? I swear it seems I can get a yeast infection just by the doctor telling me they are going to give me some. I found out when i was 18 that yogurt works WAY better for me than the stuff you buy at the store (and its a heck of a lot cheaper)

She is possibly right about her period, I have had them go away as soon as I started mine a few times.

If she tries the yogurt have her eat it twice a day for about 5 days.

raeanna74 · 05-10-2005, 01:34 PM

Try getting some Non-latex condoms next time too. Also try to find some without spermicid on them. I've found that the spermicide on some condoms can be quite irritating to both hubby and myself and usually triggers a BV infection.

If she experiences any more trouble AFTER going through the yeast infection treatment than she should go to a Dr there could be issues of yeast infection, bacterial infection, or bladder infection. Any one of those can be triggered by a number of factors including: latex allergy, bacteria that got in vagina, inbalanced ph in the vagina, or irritation. All of which can be treated quite easily. Most Dr's take the information that a girl is having sex with non-chalance. Most PAP's aren't that uncomfortable really and the trouble is worth the peace of mind and comfort later when she can enjoy having sex with you without any pain.

I wish her good luck. Support her and as has already been said - don't pressure her.

Biscuit Buns · 05-10-2005, 09:53 PM

Oh, lord. I'm sorry you guys are having to go through this.

Yeast infection...latex allergy which causes a yeast infection...UTI...been there done that and it sucks. You have good advice and I hope that she gets her butt to the doctor.

Bravo for you for being so supportive and helpful. Everyone should be so lucky to have such a partner.

05-07-2005, 08:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	GF is sore after 1st time Lover and I decided to have sex for the first time in both our lives after being together for a little over a year. We did it two weeks ago and it was amazing. It hurt her while we were doing it, which is expected. However is it normal for her to still be feeling sore and tender in her vaginal region 2 weeks after the fact? We haven't had sex since then and haven't messed around in that area much since. I just need to know simply how long it'll take for her to heal so we can go at it again. Thanks!

05-07-2005, 08:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	That is definitely not normal. However, it might be something as simple as her hymen is having a hard time healing because it is in a warm, moist enviroment all the time. Please, please, please, for her health and your sexual future together, have her go to a doctor to get checked out. Your doctor is bound by law to not disclose any information about your GF's visit to anyone else, so you don't have to worry about anyone "finding out" that you two had sex. BTW- you are using protection? I don't want you coming back on here in a month going "I think my GF's pregnant!" __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

05-08-2005, 05:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	I agree with Sage. She should go see a doctor. and now that you are sexually active, she should see a doctor at least once a year to make sure it all stays healthy. I do hope she is feeling better soon. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

05-08-2005, 05:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I concur with the other two ladies, a doctor is a good idea. Two weeks after is too long for soreness or tenderness to occur. Has she noticed if there was any redness or any rash of any type? Since you used condoms, I wonder if it's a sensitivity to condoms or the spermicide in the condoms. The only other possibility, is that when you were having sex, there was not enough natural lubication and well, latex against skin could make for an uncomfortable feeling, but two weeks seems excessive. Your profile doesn't say where you are, but if it's in the US, check planned parenthood's website for a location near you, and have her make an appointment to get checked out, if she doesnt want to go to her own family physician. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 06:00 AM	#6 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	I think it was actually one month ago that we did it... I went down on her last night and she really enjoyed it. But when we tryed having sex she said it hurt to much to even let my penis in. She said it hurts to put a tampon in. She had her period about 2 weeks ago. Last edited by dprince; 05-08-2005 at 06:08 AM..

05-08-2005, 05:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	We used a condom and I'm positive the condom did not break.

05-08-2005, 06:06 AM	#7 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Does she have any pain when she urinates? (YEs, I know it's not a question that comes up inday to day conversation) Prolonged pain could be a urinary tract infection.. We'll say it again... Go to a doctor. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 06:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	She also told me that recently she has been experiencing a thicker vaginal discharge. What kind of doctor should I tell her to go see and how confidential is it.

05-08-2005, 06:13 AM	#9 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	Thicker vaginal discharge can happen around the time of ovulation. But she should still mention it to the doctor. Planned Parenthood is very confidential. In fact, any doctor cannot release information to just anybody without her consent (It is called the HIPPA act and the doctor office should be aware of it, and have her sign papers about it). __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

05-08-2005, 06:19 AM	#11 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	So you are saying that if she is underage and goes to see her pediatrician and her mother takes her, the parents won't ever know. She'll get to talk to the doctor and he'll check her out and find what is wrong? By herself and confidentially?

05-08-2005, 06:27 AM	#12 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	How young is this girl? and how old are you? How would she explain to her mother why she wants to go to the doctor? Fake a cough? I'd really suggest that she go to a gynocoloist, and not a pediatrician. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 06:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	She's 17. Her mom told her that she would take her to the gyno whenever she was ready to go. Mom said that about 3 or 4 monthes ago. So I hope that my gf can just say she is ready to go. Her mom won't be in the room with them if my gf doesn't want her to be, right? Everything my gf and the gyno talk about will be confidential and her parents will never know?

05-08-2005, 06:44 AM	#14 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	That is great that her mom said she would take her to the gyno. my mom would have never done that for me. If your gf does not want her in the room with her, she doenst have to. and it should be confidential. She should go. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

05-08-2005, 06:53 AM	#15 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Did some googling on this, for patients under the age of 18, doctors offices may have different rules. She can call the doctor's office ahead of time (even anonymously) and ask the doctors office. If she was over 18, then it's definitely confidential, doctor can't tell anyone, without permission from her. Under 18 -- it depends. Her mom seems to be comfortable with the subject of her going to a GYN, why doesn't she talk to her mom about what's going on. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 07:22 AM	#16 (permalink)
spincycle0 Upright	soreness + thicker discharge possibly = yeast infection.

05-08-2005, 09:25 AM	#17 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	how does one get a yeast infection, how easy is it to cure, and is it possible to get one because of losing your virginity?

05-08-2005, 09:30 AM	#18 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	Yeast infections are extremely common, and they can often manifest after intercourse. The underlying imbalance was likely there in the first place, but the friction just aggravated it. This happens all the time. It's easily cured with cream, no big deal. But she should go see a doctor!

05-08-2005, 02:54 PM	#19 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	She could have an allergy to latex like I do, its caused an infection more than once for me. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

05-08-2005, 03:18 PM	#20 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Get her to a doctor. A good gyno will ask the mom to leave the room or stay in the waiting room as most of them know that their patients are likely to want to discuss things that they don't necessarily want their mothers hearing. (This makes me so thankful that I've always been open and honest with my parents.) It could be any number of things causing soreness and only a doctor can establish which one it is. Good luck. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

05-08-2005, 04:22 PM	#21 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Dprince- you're asking a lot of good questions about sex, and seem like you genuinely want to eductate yourself about what's going on. GOOD FOR YOU! Might I suggest this website: http://www.sxetc.org/ - it's a sex ed site geared towards teenagers and it has tons of info that you and your GF will probably appreciate very much. If you would like sex to be all it can be (and who doesn't) the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do (for yourself and current/future lovers) is BE EDUCATED!! And make sure your sex ed is coming from people who know what they're talking about. Ask questions, get answers, be aware, be safe, have fun! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

05-08-2005, 04:53 PM	#22 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	Alright, I have a serious problem. I mentioned to her about going to see the gyno but she imediately stopped me and said she didn't want to talk about that. I did some reading up on yeast infections and told her I think that it could be what she has. However, she wants to keep this extremely confidential. So confidential that she doesn't want to even ask her mom to bring her to any doctor, let alone the gyno. She doesn't want anyone to know about her problem. She has a problem talking to her parents about these kinds of things, and I really wish she didn't. She keeps telling me to put myself in her shoes. She's just too afraid to tell her mom about her problem which fritghens me. I told her yeast infections are easily curable with some cream. So now what she wants to do is go to the store by herself, buy some cream, and hope for the best. I read that if you apply a yeast infection cream to yourself and you really don't have a yeast infection, it could make it so that when she really does have an infection her body will be immune to the cream. I still need to tell her this, and I know it's really going to set her off. She's been frightened all day by this, we really just need closure. I seriously do not know what to do. I know what she needs to do, but she doesn't see it like I do, which I understand. She's the one that's directly affected by it. Any ideas what I can say to her?

05-08-2005, 04:54 PM	#23 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	What town in Jersey are you... Planned Parenthood she can go to, without her mother knowing,and get herself checked. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp...=home&state=NJ there should be one near you... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 04:55 PM	#24 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	yeast infections are generally easily treatable, and untreated can be very annoying. Going to PP will put her mind at ease and get the problem solved and they are discreet. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 05:00 PM	#25 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	There's really one problem, neither of us can drive. Second, the Planned Parenthood closest to us is in Camden. She lives 5 minutes away from Camden, but if you know anything about Camden it's not like she can just walk in the place. I have heard CAmden is ranked the number one worst city to live in, in America. It's really a horrific place.

05-08-2005, 05:01 PM	#26 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	take a cab or a bus? if you go during daylight hours, camden's not that bad. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 05:03 PM	#27 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	If it is a yeast infection, she could have gotten it in a variety of ways other than sex. It's not an automatic assumption that is what causes it, anything from tight clothes, to penicillan, to too much sugar in the diet can cause it. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 05:13 PM	#28 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	You guys have been a big help. I starting to find that obtaining all this information is like a double edged sword. It's terrible news to hear and I get more scared when I learn more, but at the same time I know it's better to be educated now so that me and my girl can prevent this next time. I'm gonna take a break the rest of the night and play some video games or something to get my mind off this and just let it sink in. I'll be back tomorrow with more questions, thanks again everyone!

05-08-2005, 05:19 PM	#29 (permalink)
Lead543 Registered User Location: Calgary	She needs to take responsibility for her sexual health. If she contracted a UTI or something she needs to go, the problem will only get worse. My mom would flip if she thought I was doing the nasty but I've had both a yeast infection and a UTI. One was from wearing vinyl underwear (WOOOHOOOOOO) and the other from something else unrelated to sex. This might be kinda out of place for me to say. But if she's too "scared" to do something about her sexual health you might wanna put sex on hold. One of my girlfriend's was too "scared" to go to a doctor to get birth control (in Canada everything's confidential unles you're in danger) and she ended up with a bigger problem. Pregnant at 16. I've had a cousin contract "thingies" "down there" that were one step away from cancer because of an untreated std. Sex is a great thing but it also carries great consequences. The health and safety of the both of you is most important. Just something to think about.

05-08-2005, 05:32 PM	#30 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	When she has some time, have her take a visit to www.teenwire.org - -it's planned parenthood's site just for teens. There's lots of good info out there for her. And Lead's making an excellent point, if she's not ready to take control of her sexual health, then she's not ready to be having sex. It's not something you want to hear, but she's got to be ready. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-08-2005, 08:30 PM	#31 (permalink)
cellophanedeity Heliotrope Location: A warm room	Get her best girlfriend to go with her to the clinic. (she has to go, there's no way around it.) I know you're her love and her lover, but sometimes a lady just needs another lady to stand with her. If you're having sex, you need to have a pelvic examination at least once a year, and if there's something wrong with your lady bits, it's even more important to get checked out. The idea of pap smears is scary, I'll admit that I cried the morning before I went to my first, but it's really not that bad, if a bit awkward. Your poor girl. It's so unnerving to have something strange happen to your lady bits.

05-09-2005, 11:11 AM	#32 (permalink)
dprince Upright Location: New Jersey, USA	I'm really lost. She said she is going to get the topical yeast infection cream this week. She said something like this has happened before and it just went away on its own. She keeps telling me that she knows her body better than I do, which is true. I don't know, she thinks I'm blowing this out of proportion by suggesting she see a doctor. You all said it is not normal to be sore a month after losing your virginity. That's the part that really scares me. I'm just hoping that her body will heal. She feels that once her period comes around, it will wash her system clean and she will be all better again. I made her swear to me that if nothing changes after she gets her period, she will mention something to her mother. I've really just given up, I told her I'd back her up on whatever decisions she makes. It seems to me (I hope) that it's some mild form of vaginitis where some bacteria got in there and is messing with her. I've got nothing to do now but pray and hope for the best.

05-09-2005, 11:23 AM	#33 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	You can't make her do what she doesn't want to do... If you keep on her, she'll only get ticked off... Hopefully she's not in avoidance about this problem she's having because it only gets more uncomfortable. You've done all you can... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-10-2005, 12:59 PM	#34 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	at 17 are you sure that she can't just tell her mother that shes sexually active? btw kudos to you both for being so paitent. how much older are you then her? i dont think doctors can tell if youve had sex or not so couldnt she just tell her mom somethings bothering her down there and go get it checked out? i mean there are otehr things besides sex that can make your hymen break...tampons, horseback riding ect... its great that yoru so concerned and want to learn. and past that mini rant i agree with mal..you have done all you can __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

05-10-2005, 01:14 PM	#35 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	has she been on any kind of anti biotics at all? I swear it seems I can get a yeast infection just by the doctor telling me they are going to give me some. I found out when i was 18 that yogurt works WAY better for me than the stuff you buy at the store (and its a heck of a lot cheaper) She is possibly right about her period, I have had them go away as soon as I started mine a few times. If she tries the yogurt have her eat it twice a day for about 5 days. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

05-10-2005, 01:34 PM	#36 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Try getting some Non-latex condoms next time too. Also try to find some without spermicid on them. I've found that the spermicide on some condoms can be quite irritating to both hubby and myself and usually triggers a BV infection. If she experiences any more trouble AFTER going through the yeast infection treatment than she should go to a Dr there could be issues of yeast infection, bacterial infection, or bladder infection. Any one of those can be triggered by a number of factors including: latex allergy, bacteria that got in vagina, inbalanced ph in the vagina, or irritation. All of which can be treated quite easily. Most Dr's take the information that a girl is having sex with non-chalance. Most PAP's aren't that uncomfortable really and the trouble is worth the peace of mind and comfort later when she can enjoy having sex with you without any pain. I wish her good luck. Support her and as has already been said - don't pressure her. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.