Is Cheating Sex Better? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Astrocloud · 05-01-2005, 04:30 PM

Thinking back over my long and often ill thought out life -I can recollect only one situation where I cheated on a girlfriend. Honestly I should've just gotten out of the relationship but I was young and foolish.

The sneaking around sex that I had was fantastic.

Now that I'm older (yes I am Methuselah at 35) I can also recollect many, many, many times when women wanted to cheat on their boyfriends with me. I've also been cheated on several times as well. Hmm...

So I ask you the question dear TFP viewers... Is cheating sex more fun? Does it excite you more? And note that the poll is VERY ANONYMOUS for all of you who cheat but don't want others to think that you cheat.

Also note that this poll is for the SEX ONLY! I know it's tough to compartmentalize your life but even if the fall out from cheating is extremely rough -please try to keep your answers honest to the cheating sex. (Not the cheating relationships)

Fly · 05-01-2005, 04:41 PM

ain't gonna do it man......love the one you're with eh....

Hardknock · 05-01-2005, 04:42 PM

Not only does cheating suck, but I'd imagine that the guilt is worse.

SiNai · 05-01-2005, 04:45 PM

Cheating is vile, and the emotional damage that accompanys it is much, much worse than the happiness it brings.

Charlatan · 05-01-2005, 05:03 PM

Cheating sex is good until the bloom wears off... like pretty much anything.

maleficent · 05-01-2005, 05:35 PM

I know that technically a person can never say never... However. having been cheated on I know I could never willingly put another person thru that. I've heard the argument that sex is just sex - but I personally think that's a crock... One of those parties will get hurt -- if the cheater thought that sex was just sex, they'd tell their partner and it wouldn't be cheating it would just be about sex.

Is cheating sex better? Maybe for about five minutes, but whe reality sets in... Not a chance in hell.

Meditrina · 05-01-2005, 05:51 PM

I have never cheated on my husband. I have been tempted though. I think sex would be great, at first. Until reality sets in. The guilt I would feel would out weigh anything I felt from the sex. And it is so not worth losing my husband over. I will leave it to my fantasies.

absorbentishe · 05-01-2005, 06:52 PM

Never cheated, but I've seen what it does to both sides (when caught). I've heard it's great, like a fresh start, until the SO finds out about it, then it really wasn't worth it. What keeps me from cheating? First, I love my wife, and I'm in a contract with her. Second, I'd feel so freakin' guilty, I couldn't stand it. Third, 4 children, lots of child support for at least 16 more years.

SiNai · 05-01-2005, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

I've heard the argument that sex is just sex

Sex is the most intimate of intimates. It cannot be toyed with without strings becoming firmly attached..

veruca · 05-01-2005, 07:16 PM

I have cheated...and the sex was amazing..some of the bets I have ever had

bubonico · 05-01-2005, 09:00 PM

I've never nor will I ever cheated, but I can see how the sex could be better. Something new and exciting right? I'd say it's pretty weak to give in to something like that and risk something so much more meaningful though.

Seeker · 05-02-2005, 12:04 AM

I've only ever cheated once in my life. The sex was great because it was like reclaiming my own person with someone who just appreciated me, and because I was angry and spiteful I guess. Yes, the other person was hurt but going through that process allowed me to understand more about myself. I would not do it again because I am more aware of what made me do it... if that makes sense?

wolf · 05-02-2005, 04:30 AM

I would imagine that the guilt would take any fun out of it. Though I know of a guy who cheats with everyone he gets the chance with and loves it so I guess it is a peronal thing.

doncalypso · 05-02-2005, 05:25 AM

I've been cheated on twice.... wouldnt' want to put any partner of mine through it.

Biscuit Buns · 05-02-2005, 09:46 AM

Absolutely not. Cannot do that to a person.

kramus · 05-02-2005, 10:35 AM

I never cheated, nor was I ever cheated on to my pretty darn certain knowledge. Any temptation I have yet felt was not urgent, just kind of thrilling (maximum time I think has been a few dances in a row with someone

). I never analyzed it (not cheating), just lived it. I've actually been separated for months now and still don't really have a hankering to go out and seek some companionship. I've seen the results of infidelity within my close family, and it sucks to be them. But I bet the whole relationship is turbocharged, and a rush like that would be a complete wow from head to toe - if you were able to just take it for a ride so to speak.

KinkyKiwi · 05-02-2005, 11:17 AM

never cheated..but been tempted....

i can see why it would feel better...theres that whole naughty shouldnt be doing this side..but like otherssaid...the guilt would ruin the buzz.

chickentribs · 05-02-2005, 07:03 PM

Sex with somebody new is always exciting and a bit of an adventure. However, that is very different than cheating. The idea that lying and hurting somebody else (the specific "cheating" part) is what would make sex better is a bit creepy.

Lots of great ways to be "forbidden" or "bad" without having to include an innocent person's trust and feelings into the mix I would think.

Lead543 · 05-02-2005, 07:56 PM

Well, I've never cheated. But I hope the two ex boyfriends enjoyed it. I also hope they enjoyed the gut-wrenching pain they caused me to endure and the shattering of self esteem. If you want exciting sex you dump your s/o and hook up with someone in the bathroom of an airplane. You don't jepordize the feelings of another person for 1.87 seconds of pleasure. It's selfish.
*Can you tell I hate cheaters?*

ironmaiden7o7 · 05-02-2005, 09:26 PM

Cheating is for those that are emotionally insecure.

Martian · 05-02-2005, 11:46 PM

I agree with others. If it's sex with a stranger you're after or something like that, maybe you need to consider whether you're ready to be in a committed relationship. Sex is a great way to connect with someone and/or express love, but cheating implies hat you're going behind your partner's back and is a hurtful thing to do. If you're unappy with your partner, own up to it and move on.

I've never cheated, it always struck me as a cowardly, selfish thing to do. I don't have much respect for the people who do.

sailor · 05-03-2005, 05:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

I agree with others. If it's sex with a stranger you're after or something like that, maybe you need to consider whether you're ready to be in a committed relationship. Sex is a great way to connect with someone and/or express love, but cheating implies hat you're going behind your partner's back and is a hurtful thing to do. If you're unappy with your partner, own up to it and move on.

I've never cheated, it always struck me as a cowardly, selfish thing to do. I don't have much respect for the people who do.

You hit the nail on the head.

I dont think I could even enjoy it because the guilt would be hanging over my head the whole time.

JamesB · 05-03-2005, 08:41 AM

Wow - at the time of this post, 52% of people said:

"I will never cheat so I can't or will not answer this poll."

Looks like about 26% of people are right-out lying

.

Cheating sex has the sense of danger - if you need that to get out off .. try having sex in more rique situations instead.

Astrocloud · 05-03-2005, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesB

Wow - at the time of this post, 52% of people said:

"I will never cheat so I can't or will not answer this poll."

Looks like about 26% of people are right-out lying

.

I actually read the statistics differently. I however can not comment about how I read them here -without actually affecting them.

Astrocloud · 05-03-2005, 03:57 PM

P.S.

<- has a degree in statistics

la petite moi · 05-04-2005, 04:31 PM

Never had sex other than with nwlinkvxd.

franvineyard · 05-06-2005, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ironmaiden7o7

Cheating is for those that are emotionally insecure.

Very true but who says we're all secure?

Apache · 05-06-2005, 07:14 PM

I haven't cheated and never would.

Besides if you ever think about cheating on your partner just think how you would feel if they did it to you!!!!!!!

SpikeQX99 · 05-06-2005, 11:31 PM

I was one being cheated with, and at the time I had no idea she was seeing someone.. So when I stopped by one day, it made for some interesting conversations with her live in boyfriend..

I think she eventually told him, and then the worst part.. He got hired where I work!! I had to see him every day around work.. What an awful feeling... The sex was great.. don't get me wrong.. But I lost a lot of respect for both myself and her when I found out...

I ask now before proceeding... Safety first!!

dirtyrascal7 · 05-07-2005, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickentribs

Sex with somebody new is always exciting and a bit of an adventure. However, that is very different than cheating. The idea that lying and hurting somebody else (the specific "cheating" part) is what would make sex better is a bit creepy.

Lots of great ways to be "forbidden" or "bad" without having to include an innocent person's trust and feelings into the mix I would think.

This is about how I feel about cheating, although I have my doubts that things are that simple.

I wonder how the risk factor plays into all this... I imagine if the assumed risk of getting caught (in the act or afterwards) were high, some people would be even more reluctant to cheat... while it would give others an even bigger thrill. And on the other side, if the assumed risk of having the cheated find out is low... would that make people more likely to go through with it? Or then there's those that don't factor in risk at all... which are most likely the chronic cheaters.

Maybe I should make another poll... hmm.

Astrocloud · 05-11-2005, 02:22 PM

In today's Boston Herald which made me think of this poll

Quote:

Playboy: Cheaters score at home
By Jennifer Rosinski
Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - Updated: 03:47 AM EST

Americans can't get no sex satisfaction - even when they're getting plenty at home.

That's what this month's Playboy reports, with a survey that reveals while more than 75 percent haven't cheated, most of those who do cheat have a healthy and adventurous at-home sex life - not the intimacy drought most people assume pre-empts an affair.

``Pure lust,'' opined Bobby Hurley of Boston, upon hearing the results. ``Lust. That's all I can think of to explain it.''

To Medford sex therapist Dan Pollets, it's all about boundaries: ``If someone has a high level of sexual adventure and very poor boundaries, whether they get it at home or not, they're going to be motivated to look elsewhere.''

Contrary to the Playboy results, many experts said a wandering eye has more to do with a dying spark at home than lust for more. Some suggested the Playboy poll of 1,500 people may have targeted a sexually charged pool.

``This is not Reader's Digest we're talking about,'' said Lexington sex therapist and ``Sex Smart'' author Aline Zoldbrod.

Joyce Dolberg Rowe, a marriage counselor celebrating 15 years of wedded bliss, said her experience shows men go looking when their sex lives fall away.

To the average woman, though, cheating is a scoundrel's choice.

``They might just think that they can get something better than they already have,'' said Kerry from Southie. ``The grass may be greener.''

http://news.bostonherald.com/localRe...rticleid=82636

ariekitten · 05-11-2005, 05:04 PM

i dont think cheating is right

twinkle · 05-20-2005, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seeker

I've only ever cheated once in my life. The sex was great because it was like reclaiming my own person with someone who just appreciated me, and because I was angry and spiteful I guess. ... I would not do it again because I am more aware of what made me do it... if that makes sense?

That's basically what I came to post. Add to that the fact that the person I was "officially" with 1) Had already cheated on me, and 2) Had stopped making any valid attempt to please me during sex several years before, and I really feel less bad about doing it. Also, the person I cheated with ended up being a very deep connection, so... yeah.

But the sex was fabulous because it was with HIM, not because it was cheating sex.

Ustwo · 05-20-2005, 09:56 PM

To be crude, new pussy is almost always better then 'old' pussy.

If you have been having sex with the same person for 20 years, someone new will seem better then what you have currently.

I think this is one of those things that swingers have figured out how to handle without having to worry about cheating.

maleficent · 05-21-2005, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo

I think this is one of those things that swingers have figured out how to handle without having to worry about cheating.

Swinging isn't cheating. Much discussion has gone on between the couple before making the decision to plunge into that type of relationship, as well as ALL parties are aware of the ground rules.

Cheating is just that... cheating... it's not taking responsibility for your own actions, it's not being responsible enough to tell your partner, it's lying to your partner. Cheating is one person going off to be selfish and immature and doing exactly what they want to do and not giving a flying crap about the other parties involved... including the person that they are cheating with.

pinkie · 05-21-2005, 08:01 AM

Only if you suck...

Ustwo · 05-21-2005, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

Swinging isn't cheating. Much discussion has gone on between the couple before making the decision to plunge into that type of relationship, as well as ALL parties are aware of the ground rules.

Cheating is just that... cheating... it's not taking responsibility for your own actions, it's not being responsible enough to tell your partner, it's lying to your partner. Cheating is one person going off to be selfish and immature and doing exactly what they want to do and not giving a flying crap about the other parties involved... including the person that they are cheating with.

I hope you don't think I implied swinging is cheating. Its not. What I ment to say is swingers have the best of both worlds. They get to have sex with other people (and such a desire is natural) while still being honnest in their relationship.

ShaniFaye · 05-21-2005, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

Swinging isn't cheating. Much discussion has gone on between the couple before making the decision to plunge into that type of relationship, as well as ALL parties are aware of the ground rules.

Cheating is just that... cheating... it's not taking responsibility for your own actions, it's not being responsible enough to tell your partner, it's lying to your partner. Cheating is one person going off to be selfish and immature and doing exactly what they want to do and not giving a flying crap about the other parties involved... including the person that they are cheating with.

you forgot this one.....and then they have to ask everybody if it was cheating

View Poll Results: Is cheating sex good?
Cheating sex is awesome!	25	14.53%
Cheating sex is good but only a little better than regular sex	8	4.65%
Cheating sex is no different from any other sex.	5	2.91%
Cheating sex is okay but only a little worse than regular sex	3	1.74%
Cheating sex stinks!	8	4.65%
I will never cheat so I can't or will not answer this poll.	91	52.91%
I've never cheated but I've thought about it enough to make me want to try it.	19	11.05%
Some other lame answer that I can't elaborate on because this poll is anonymous.	13	7.56%
Voters: 172. You may not vote on this poll

05-01-2005, 04:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	Is Cheating Sex Better? Thinking back over my long and often ill thought out life -I can recollect only one situation where I cheated on a girlfriend. Honestly I should've just gotten out of the relationship but I was young and foolish. The sneaking around sex that I had was fantastic. Now that I'm older (yes I am Methuselah at 35) I can also recollect many, many, many times when women wanted to cheat on their boyfriends with me. I've also been cheated on several times as well. Hmm... So I ask you the question dear TFP viewers... Is cheating sex more fun? Does it excite you more? And note that the poll is VERY ANONYMOUS for all of you who cheat but don't want others to think that you cheat. Also note that this poll is for the SEX ONLY! I know it's tough to compartmentalize your life but even if the fall out from cheating is extremely rough -please try to keep your answers honest to the cheating sex. (Not the cheating relationships) Last edited by Astrocloud; 05-01-2005 at 04:39 PM..

05-01-2005, 04:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	ain't gonna do it man......love the one you're with eh.... __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

05-01-2005, 04:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
SiNai Dreams In Digital Location: Iowa	Cheating is vile, and the emotional damage that accompanys it is much, much worse than the happiness it brings. __________________ I can't seem to remember now What it was like- to live life, before you.. symbiont

05-01-2005, 05:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Cheating sex is good until the bloom wears off... like pretty much anything. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

05-01-2005, 04:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
Hardknock Republican slayer Location: WA	Not only does cheating suck, but I'd imagine that the guilt is worse.

05-01-2005, 05:35 PM	#6 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I know that technically a person can never say never... However. having been cheated on I know I could never willingly put another person thru that. I've heard the argument that sex is just sex - but I personally think that's a crock... One of those parties will get hurt -- if the cheater thought that sex was just sex, they'd tell their partner and it wouldn't be cheating it would just be about sex. Is cheating sex better? Maybe for about five minutes, but whe reality sets in... Not a chance in hell. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-01-2005, 05:51 PM	#7 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	I have never cheated on my husband. I have been tempted though. I think sex would be great, at first. Until reality sets in. The guilt I would feel would out weigh anything I felt from the sex. And it is so not worth losing my husband over. I will leave it to my fantasies. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

05-01-2005, 06:52 PM	#8 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	Never cheated, but I've seen what it does to both sides (when caught). I've heard it's great, like a fresh start, until the SO finds out about it, then it really wasn't worth it. What keeps me from cheating? First, I love my wife, and I'm in a contract with her. Second, I'd feel so freakin' guilty, I couldn't stand it. Third, 4 children, lots of child support for at least 16 more years.

05-01-2005, 07:16 PM	#10 (permalink)
veruca Psycho Location: 4 privet drive	I have cheated...and the sex was amazing..some of the bets I have ever had __________________ How you turned my world, you precious thing You starve and near exhaust me Everything I've done, I've done for you I move the stars for no one

05-01-2005, 09:00 PM	#11 (permalink)
bubonico Upright Location: Iraq :(	I've never nor will I ever cheated, but I can see how the sex could be better. Something new and exciting right? I'd say it's pretty weak to give in to something like that and risk something so much more meaningful though. __________________ "People sleep peacably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf" -George Orwell

05-02-2005, 12:04 AM	#12 (permalink)
Seeker Getting Clearer Location: with spirit	I've only ever cheated once in my life. The sex was great because it was like reclaiming my own person with someone who just appreciated me, and because I was angry and spiteful I guess. Yes, the other person was hurt but going through that process allowed me to understand more about myself. I would not do it again because I am more aware of what made me do it... if that makes sense? __________________ *To those who wander but who are not lost...* ~ Knowledge is not something you acquire, it is something you open yourself to.

05-02-2005, 04:30 AM	#13 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	I would imagine that the guilt would take any fun out of it. Though I know of a guy who cheats with everyone he gets the chance with and loves it so I guess it is a peronal thing. __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

05-02-2005, 05:25 AM	#14 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	I've been cheated on twice.... wouldnt' want to put any partner of mine through it. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

05-02-2005, 09:46 AM	#15 (permalink)
Biscuit Buns Four of Wands Location: Somewhere entirely too hot.	Absolutely not. Cannot do that to a person. __________________ A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West

05-02-2005, 10:35 AM	#16 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	I never cheated, nor was I ever cheated on to my pretty darn certain knowledge. Any temptation I have yet felt was not urgent, just kind of thrilling (maximum time I think has been a few dances in a row with someone ). I never analyzed it (not cheating), just lived it. I've actually been separated for months now and still don't really have a hankering to go out and seek some companionship. I've seen the results of infidelity within my close family, and it sucks to be them. But I bet the whole relationship is turbocharged, and a rush like that would be a complete wow from head to toe - if you were able to just take it for a ride so to speak. __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

05-02-2005, 11:17 AM	#17 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	never cheated..but been tempted.... i can see why it would feel better...theres that whole naughty shouldnt be doing this side..but like otherssaid...the guilt would ruin the buzz. __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

05-02-2005, 07:03 PM	#18 (permalink)
chickentribs Addict Location: Mansion by day/Secret Lair by night	Sex with somebody new is always exciting and a bit of an adventure. However, that is very different than cheating. The idea that lying and hurting somebody else (the specific "cheating" part) is what would make sex better is a bit creepy. Lots of great ways to be "forbidden" or "bad" without having to include an innocent person's trust and feelings into the mix I would think. __________________ Oft expectation fails... and most oft there Where most it promises - Shakespeare, W.

05-02-2005, 07:56 PM	#19 (permalink)
Lead543 Registered User Location: Calgary	Well, I've never cheated. But I hope the two ex boyfriends enjoyed it. I also hope they enjoyed the gut-wrenching pain they caused me to endure and the shattering of self esteem. If you want exciting sex you dump your s/o and hook up with someone in the bathroom of an airplane. You don't jepordize the feelings of another person for 1.87 seconds of pleasure. It's selfish. Can you tell I hate cheaters?

05-02-2005, 09:26 PM	#20 (permalink)
ironmaiden7o7 Insane Location: NYC	Cheating is for those that are emotionally insecure.

05-02-2005, 11:46 PM	#21 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	I agree with others. If it's sex with a stranger you're after or something like that, maybe you need to consider whether you're ready to be in a committed relationship. Sex is a great way to connect with someone and/or express love, but cheating implies hat you're going behind your partner's back and is a hurtful thing to do. If you're unappy with your partner, own up to it and move on. I've never cheated, it always struck me as a cowardly, selfish thing to do. I don't have much respect for the people who do.

05-03-2005, 08:41 AM	#23 (permalink)
JamesB Insane Location: Ottawa	Wow - at the time of this post, 52% of people said: "I will never cheat so I can't or will not answer this poll." Looks like about 26% of people are right-out lying . Cheating sex has the sense of danger - if you need that to get out off .. try having sex in more rique situations instead. __________________ -- apt-get install spare_time --

05-03-2005, 03:57 PM	#25 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	P.S. <- has a degree in statistics

05-04-2005, 04:31 PM	#26 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Never had sex other than with nwlinkvxd.

05-06-2005, 07:14 PM	#28 (permalink)
Apache Insane	I haven't cheated and never would. Besides if you ever think about cheating on your partner just think how you would feel if they did it to you!!!!!!!

05-06-2005, 11:31 PM	#29 (permalink)
SpikeQX99 The Best thing that never happened to you Location: Silverdale, WA	I was one being cheated with, and at the time I had no idea she was seeing someone.. So when I stopped by one day, it made for some interesting conversations with her live in boyfriend.. I think she eventually told him, and then the worst part.. He got hired where I work!! I had to see him every day around work.. What an awful feeling... The sex was great.. don't get me wrong.. But I lost a lot of respect for both myself and her when I found out... I ask now before proceeding... Safety first!! __________________ I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

05-11-2005, 05:04 PM	#32 (permalink)
ariekitten bAck iN aCtiOn! Location: in my imagination	i dont think cheating is right __________________ I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call. ~Vash, Trigun >'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

05-20-2005, 09:56 PM	#34 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	To be crude, new pussy is almost always better then 'old' pussy. If you have been having sex with the same person for 20 years, someone new will seem better then what you have currently. I think this is one of those things that swingers have figured out how to handle without having to worry about cheating. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

05-21-2005, 08:01 AM	#36 (permalink)
pinkie Helplessly hoping Location: Above the stars	Is Cheating Sex Better? Only if you suck...