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Old 03-24-2005, 10:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Get her to do Anal

I've never done it and neither has she, but my girl recently asked me if I'd ever be interested in having anal sex. I told her that it was really a big turn on for me. She seemed kinda freaked out by that at first. The next day she said she'd be willing to try it once, but if it was no bueno then never again. Well I'm nervous because the way I figure if I blow my one shot then I'll never get to enjoy it again. Also I'd like her to enjoy it as well, and I certainly don't want to hurt her. So I'm looking for some advice. Guys if you could let me know any methods you've successfully employed to get a girl to enjoy anal sex. Girls if you could give me some ideas of what you like about it or something perhaps that would help ease her mind. Thanks for the help.
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Old 03-24-2005, 10:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Well, whatever you do, don't use your COCK the first time out. Get some small play toys and engage in anal play for a while first. And do a search. Here's one thread in particular, and I'm sure there are more.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=80098
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Old 03-25-2005, 06:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Lube... lots of lube.

Actually, too much lube is almost enough.
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Old 03-25-2005, 07:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
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OK, first off, don't be nervous, that will be your downfall. Be cautious though. Be very slow and gentle. Use LOTS of lubrication. It may be a good idea to make her have an orgasm before hand, she'll be less tense if she does. Take Squirt's advice and use toys/fingers first to get her used to the feeling of having something in there. I would recomend toys. Make sure that you are giving attention to the front while you are behind, this will also help her relax. Good luck, let us know if your adventure was successful.
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Old 03-25-2005, 08:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
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What everyone has said. Also, when it comes time for you to be inside her, let her call the shots and guide you in.

One girlfriend I had liked it and had a unique (or maybe not) way of going about it. She laid on her stomach and when I was lined up and ready she told me not to push. She then bent her knees and placed her heels on my ass and when shen was ready, she slowly pushed me in. Once I was all the way in, I was free to do what comes natural.

You have to remember, the muscles in there are made to push things out so you'll be "going against the grain" so to speak. Take. It. Easy.
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Old 03-25-2005, 11:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
More anal, less shenanigans
 
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You know, bubonico, I got to thinking -- if she is only going to let you try this once, why not skip using your cock at all and just use a small dildo and double penetrate her. I'll bet she likes it so much she'll let you keep playing in future activities, and will eventually want your cock instead of the dildo. Just a thought. Because if you go for the dick right away, I can almost guarantee she'll be seriously turned off 'cause it'll hurt like an SOB.
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Old 03-25-2005, 09:35 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Although taking it slow is always good and lots of lube is always better, don't be afraid that it's definitely going to hurt the first time...

The first time Sage and I tried it, which was the first time either of us had done it, we used my penis and olive oil and it we still enjoyed it. Just givin ya some perspective
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Old 03-25-2005, 09:39 PM   #8 (permalink)
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i love how *she* brought it up, and then (according to you) seemed freaked out a bit, and then expressed interest the next day.

i'm no einstein, but it seems to me that maybe she was curious from the get-go.
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Old 03-25-2005, 09:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
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HAVE HER BE REALLY TURNED ON!! This is a MUST for me, and the only time I really want anal is if I'm totally turned on. It is nice to be freshly washed, and don't do this on Taco night. Use LOTS of lube, and go slow, doing some rimming with your tounge and finger first. Also remember that it sometimes can burn a little bit when you first put something in- this is normal and it is just the sphincter getting used to having something in there.

The following is an excerpt from The Guide to Getting It On!! By Paul Johannes, from the chapter "Up Your Bum-Anal Sex"

"Make sure your fingernails are trimmed and your hands are washed. Wearing a latex glove and/or condom is also recommended. Also, some people prefer to give themselves a quick enema with a bulb syringe or a prepared store-bought solution before having anal sex.

Psychologist Morin suggests the following technique for teaching your rectum to relax: each night for a week or so the male partner lubes up a clean finger and gently inserts it in the female's rear, pusing very softly and slowly.

Rectal expert Erik Mainard --known as the Avatar of Ass-- encourages a gentle massage of the anus and suggests angling the finger slightly upward toward the tailbone, since that's how the rectum curves. He says to push in quite slowly and only as the resistance eases. This kind of digital exploration should feel very good for the reciever; otherwise the person who is inserting the finger is either rushing it or being a brute.

One way to help relax the anal area is for the reciever to push down as tho she were trying to move her bowels. In addition to relaxing the sphincters, this adds a bit of suspense to the exercise. However, anal purists say that with the help of a patient, caring partner, one needn't trick the sphincters into relaxing.
The reciever should feel comfortable with finger penetration before attempting any further unnatrual acts. It is also suggested that the receiver try inserting her own finger, for instance, when she is in the shower, so she can get a better sense of how her second sphincter works. It is not until the second sphincter learns to relax that anal sex will feel comfortable, and if it doesn't feel comfortable, you shouldn't be doing it. If there is any discomfort other than a feeling of fullness which shouldn't be painful, spend an extra week doing the finger exercises or give up the concept of anal intercourse entirely."

Have her read up on anal sex, what's good and bad, and have her get to know her own body. The more you know, the better it feels. AND DON'T GET THE ANAL NUMBING CREMES!!! I mean, jeez, that's one part of your body where you really want to know if it's hurting!!!
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Old 03-25-2005, 11:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Iraq :(
Thanks for all the advice guys I appreciate it. I'm anxious to put it into action. I suppose I should add that my girlfriend is in Arizona and I'm in Iraq, so I won't get to try any of this out until I get to take leave some time this summer. I just got off the phone with her and talked to her some more about it she seems more and more receptive. I asked if she wanted to try it just for my sake or if she was actually interested, and she said that she's actually interested. When I do get the chance I'll be sure and use lots of lube and make sure that she can handle a finger first. What I'm hoping is that she enjoys the finger, because I'm assuming that'll mean she'll enjoy full on penetration as well. Anyways... thanks again for the advice.
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Old 03-26-2005, 09:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Sounds like someone is going to get a nice coming home present!! Good for you. You guys deserve that kind of treatment for being over there. Keep up the good work.
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Old 03-27-2005, 06:53 AM   #12 (permalink)
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lots of lube + take it slow. As someone said use toys first.
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Old 03-28-2005, 06:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hey, talk about supporting our troops!
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Old 04-02-2005, 07:18 AM   #14 (permalink)
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=) I <3 Anal
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Old 04-03-2005, 06:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Since she has some time to prepare, perhaps she could try some small anal dildoes before you return? I'm sure some of our other members will have some specific suggestions.
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Old 04-03-2005, 08:32 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I'd suggest you send her to a local sex boutique, they should have several toys, and suggestions if it's a good shop
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Old 04-03-2005, 07:25 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I was going to mention that if she's curious, support her curiosity and let her play a little before you get home. She can figure out how it all works before you get back. I mean, honestly, our job is pretty easy, in and out...
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:05 PM   #18 (permalink)
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lick her ass, then stick your finger up there while you go down on her pussy. honestly, i've had anal, and the play is way better IMO than the act.

Assholes are your friend when it comes to sex. doesn't mean you need to stick your cock up in it. In my experience, it hurts the girl too much, it's reall messy, and not as good as mutual ass play with fingers/tongue/lube. You wereborn with butts. Guess what? it feels good to play with them.

Good luck, and good sex.
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Old 04-17-2005, 03:10 AM   #19 (permalink)
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The one thing to remember is that the pleasure of anal is the pulling out motion not the thrusting in, as opposed to vaginal sex. So don't ram it in her, go slowly in, and faster on the reverse thrust (now its sounding like star trek or something?!!)

The best way to ease things up for the big day is while you go down on her, use your well lubed finger from her pussy and slowly ease it into her butt just past the finger nail (make sure they're cut short tho) just to stretch it a bit.

We enjoy anal every few months, and I even let her put a small vibrator in my butt when she was really horny blowing me. Brilliant is all i can say, although its still daunting to think of something the size of a cock going in there... so maybe we'll skip that
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Old 04-17-2005, 07:04 AM   #20 (permalink)
is awesome!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubonico
I've never done it and neither has she, but my girl recently asked me if I'd ever be interested in having anal sex. I told her that it was really a big turn on for me. She seemed kinda freaked out by that at first. The next day she said she'd be willing to try it once, but if it was no bueno then never again. Well I'm nervous because the way I figure if I blow my one shot then I'll never get to enjoy it again. Also I'd like her to enjoy it as well, and I certainly don't want to hurt her. So I'm looking for some advice. Guys if you could let me know any methods you've successfully employed to get a girl to enjoy anal sex. Girls if you could give me some ideas of what you like about it or something perhaps that would help ease her mind. Thanks for the help.
Its wonderful to see your open attitude towards this form of sexuality that many men are deeply fearful of. Your girl will need to purchase a quality strap-on dildo. Pay attention to the harness material and where the pressure of the dildo will meet her pelvis. You'll want to be sure that your anus is properly lubricated, that you are relaxed, and clean (recent BM, shower). Understand that if this is your first time being penetrated that the sensation may be be strange at first and could possibly involve feelings you previously understood as pain. These feelings should subside with time and practice. Begin with a smaller sized dildo and work larger if you so desire, not the other way around.

BTW the term for this activity is "pegging"
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Old 04-17-2005, 09:20 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: Iraq :(
I think you misunderstood, I'm not intending to have anything go in my anus. Just hers.
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Old 04-17-2005, 11:10 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Location: Iraq :(
I appreciate all the advice yall have given. I've mentioned a lot of the stuff you guys have said to her, and the more we talk about it the more comfortable she gets with the idea. Now she says she's actually excited about it. It seems like it'll be a good idea to try to using something smaller like fingers or something at first to get her used to it. I've mentioned a few times maybe she should practice with something small before I come home, but I don't think she will. The thing is she seams totally repulsed by putting anything in there other than my dick. Is that normal? Any thoughts on how I could get her to be more comfortable with maybe using a small dildo on herself? She's never used vibrators or anything. She masturbates pretty regularly, but has something against using plastic/rubber things for it. Maybe I can just recommend a few more times that she sticks a finger up her butt right as she's cumming next time she masturbates. Perhaps she'll try it out of curiosity sometime and love it. Who knows.
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Old 04-18-2005, 09:56 AM   #23 (permalink)
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I remember when I broached the topic of anal with my wife (who was a little prudish to say the least at the time). She was a little worried, but slowly over the past 2 years I found that she got to appreciate more and more the sensation of pressure around that area. For a treat one night she asked if I wanted to try it all the way and aside from having a hard time maintaining an erection because I was worried about hurting her, everything went well.

I started preparing her for this awhile back by slipping my hand under her butt and massaging her taint with my finger while I gave her an clitorial orgasm with my other hand.
That seemed to give her a more powerful orgasm, so I tried inserting a finger in her ass just before her climax. I couldn't do more than 2 fingers because I'm just not that flexible and it hurt my hand because when she climaxes, her ass squeezes around my fingers really tight.

Things work better when your partner associates anal sex as something that will be pleasurable, rather than something that *may* hurt. Just work up to it. Sometimes don;t penetrate, just run your finger around the outside.

One thing that really helped me was that once I shaved her anal area to make it all slick and then proceeded to tongue her. When she spread her cheeks for me, I knew that she enjoyed it, but I also paid attention to her to make it enjoyable.

We have never used lube, just spit, but I think that is because I spend a long time before I get to that.

I was surprised the last time we did it because she was actually pushing against me to get it in. Women say the wildest things when they want to orgasm. later on, she said she liked the feeling of being full and asked me what I liked about it.

My response was that it feels like your getting a handjob from someone wearing a velvet glove that has been dipped in hot oil.

That's been my experience, your actual mileage may vary.
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Old 04-18-2005, 02:40 PM   #24 (permalink)
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LUBE, LUBE AND MORE LUBE (oh and of course go slow and use a finger or small toy before your dick and make sure that she is really relaxed) Pretty much what everyone else has said!!! Have fun!!!!
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Old 04-18-2005, 03:20 PM   #25 (permalink)
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WHATEVER YOU DO, do not cum in her ass. Pull it out and shoot it on her cheeks or in her crack, sure... but don't shoot it inside. I made the mistake of digging my dick a good four inches into my ex-girlfriend's ass when I shot my load one time. It made a nasty, nasty mess of the sheets when I pulled out.
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Old 04-18-2005, 04:07 PM   #26 (permalink)
More anal, less shenanigans
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tehpronking
WHATEVER YOU DO, do not cum in her ass. Pull it out and shoot it on her cheeks or in her crack, sure... but don't shoot it inside. I made the mistake of digging my dick a good four inches into my ex-girlfriend's ass when I shot my load one time. It made a nasty, nasty mess of the sheets when I pulled out.
Umm, how come? Wasn't she very clean to begin with?
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Old 04-20-2005, 12:30 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Hooray she put a finger in her butt. When she was masturbating last night she slid it in there right as she was cumming, and she said it was awesome. I'd say this is a good sign. She also said though that she thinks going from finger to cock is a big step. Now I just need to get her over her fear of dildos and try something in between.
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Old 04-20-2005, 05:14 AM   #28 (permalink)
More anal, less shenanigans
 
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Location: Always lurking
Quote:
Originally Posted by bubonico
Hooray she put a finger in her butt. When she was masturbating last night she slid it in there right as she was cumming, and she said it was awesome. I'd say this is a good sign. She also said though that she thinks going from finger to cock is a big step. Now I just need to get her over her fear of dildos and try something in between.
There are a slew of small anal toys that I'll bet she would love.

http://www.mybodyvibes.com/store/bv011.asp
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Old 04-20-2005, 08:08 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Cumming in the ass is the best, I never had it turn messy at all. the feeling is incredible!
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Old 04-20-2005, 07:55 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Location: Philadelphia, PA
Quote:
Originally Posted by tehpronking
WHATEVER YOU DO, do not cum in her ass. Pull it out and shoot it on her cheeks or in her crack, sure... but don't shoot it inside. I made the mistake of digging my dick a good four inches into my ex-girlfriend's ass when I shot my load one time. It made a nasty, nasty mess of the sheets when I pulled out.
Son, you gotta be shittin' me (all pun intended).

If it made a mess when you pulled out after jizzing in your girlfriend's ass it must be that she badly needed to take a bowel movement before you guys even got into anal sex but didn't. In the future make sure she's had a bowel movement within the last hour before you try anal sex and then everything should be alright.

I've been shooting my load in my girlfriend's ass for over two years now and I've never had such accident. And besides, nothing beats the feeling of cumming inside a tight hot ass because you know that she can't get pregnant from it and it feels so much tighter than a vagina.

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Old 04-20-2005, 11:33 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crooks
My response was that it feels like your getting a handjob from someone wearing a velvet glove that has been dipped in hot oil.

Wow, that is a very nice description.

I am reminded of an old internet movie after seeing the title of the thread but cannot find it.. grr..

[edit] oh, and cumming anally has never been a problem for me, either. She would rush off to the bathroom afterwards to go clean up, which wasn't a problem, because it is entirely worth it..
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