abaya

Hello folks, as usual this is a branch off of another thread...

How do you all feel about the difference between going down on a man vs. going down on a woman? I hear some men complain that their women don't have the "stamina" that the men do for oral sex, and that's why a lot of guys don't cum from bjs alone.

Personally I think it has little to do with "stamina" and a lot to do with anatomy. Eating a girl out is completely different from sucking on a guy's erect cock... the former requires interaction with a mostly flat (or inverted) surface, with little penetration into the mouth (unless she has a huge clit or something). I can imagine I'd be able to last a long time doing that, once my tongue was up to par! Bjs, however, require fitting a long, hard cylinder in the mouth and then doing creative things with lips and/or tongue at the same time... (and having something squirt down the throat at the end, which can be either pleasant or not, depending on the guy's taste and the gag reflex). So how are the two oral acts even comparable? Not saying one is harder than the other, but it bothers me when some guys boast of their oral stamina and look down (after going down ) on girls who can't "keep up." [Note: my bf doesn't complain, and as I've told you all he's quite patient with everything we do... but I've heard many others talk about this on TFP and I see girls feeling bad about it, which ain't right.]

As for me, I do have a hard time maintaining sensation in my mouth when giving bjs... my lips go numb after about 15-20mins, then my jaw starts to go numb and I can't really do anything useful for my bf after that. I want to give him really good bjs (and I've had decent results in making him cum), and will continue to practice, but I also wish I could keep my mouth from going numb. Does anyone have comments and/or tips??? I know I'm not the only one with this issue...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Nancy

I've got the same problem, haha. I simply just vary between sucking, licking and jerking off. Whenever my mouth gets numb I get all busy with my tongue and/or hands for the next 5 mins or so so my mouth can get a rest before I start sucking again.

Don't you find it a bit...boring when you just suck? I mean there are SO many things to do to a cock with your tongue and hands! so use them!

__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

abaya

Just as a sidenote, I do use my tongue and hands, but they never seem quite as effetive... like a sideshow or something. Again, any tips are welcome.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

vox_rox

Actually, this is the whole thing right here, and it applies to both sexes as well. Continual oral stimualtion is not as stimulating as a mix. I know when I'm performing oral sex on my wife, there's the tongue is involved, but so are other parts of my face, my ahnds and fingers, and whatever else is handy.

And to focus on genitalia only is not the best stimulation either. Thighs, breasts, pubic region, even the anus are all just waiting for you to invite them to the party. And, fo ryou women, this applies to most men as well, even if they may not know it. Other parts of the male body are just waiting for stimualtion, and they include the same parts I already mentioned - really!

Try it, he (she) will (probably) love it.

Peace,

Pierre

__________________
---
There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people.
---

Gilda

Having done both many times, I'd have to agree with abaya that giving a man a bj is much more physical demanding than performing cunnilingus. The two tasks aren't really comperable either quantitatively or qualitatively.

the_marq

Uhh, I gotta say. If someone were to do nothing but suck my dick for 20 minutes straight I'd be reaching for the TV remote control. No wonder your jaw is getting sore and you lose interest. While there is nothing quite like being deep into her mouth there needs to be some changes from time to time... as the others have already said.

I'd also like to point out that we guys don't have it so easy either, some times I feel like I am trying to pick a lock with my tounge.... just about got it, just about .... damn. I moved 2mm to the right and have to start over again Not that I'm complaining I just didn't want this thread to be all about how hard it is to give a good blowjob... its a two-way street.

__________________
The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series

ShaniFaye

my "bj's" do not involve sucking only....IMO anybody that just does that isnt doing a very good job of orally servicing their partner. No man I have ever met can get off from that alone....there are LOTS of other things that can and should be done in conjuction to "sucking" when orally pleasing your man...for example...his balls should always be paid attention to during oral sex......no way you can be sucking his dick if you're doing that.

so....in my bj process I have a ton of stamina and can keep dave on the edge for a very long time (an hour or so) before I will let him get off.

same goes for a woman(except for the balls comment)....I've done my fair share of that as well and it takes stamina, just in a different way.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

martinguerre

is it just me that's thinking of the Colonel Angus skit from SNL? It's vintage Walken, and some halfway valid commentary on it all.

Stamina isn't nearly as important as variety and sustaining interest.

__________________
For God so loved creation, that God sent God's only Son that whosoever believed should not perish, but have everlasting life.

-John 3:16

Redlemon

I've never given a blowjob, but I did try my mouth out on my wife's dildo, which is about the same size as me. All I can say is, thank you to every woman out there who gives blowjobs. It is way harder than it looks.

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

snowy

Stamina with blow jobs is just something you have to work up to.

The cardinal rule to extending your performance is that your hands should ALWAYS be doing something. Always.

I can keep my guy on the edge for nearly an hour--by that time he's willing to do anything to get off.

Of course, it's totally relative...I've had guys who were so big that after just five minutes my jaw is sore and doesn't want to play anymore. It is a work-out though...but a fun one!!!

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

abaya

Folks, I'm not saying that it's any easier to get a girl off... I know how long it took me to have my first orgasm (kudos to my boy for his determination!!). But logistically, the shapes are different, and I get frustrated with those who don't see a difference between oral sex on men and women. Both take different skills. And even within the genders there's a lot of variation. All I'm sayin' is, appreciate what the other is doing, even if it's not "ideal"... I see a lot of girls on TFP feeling insecure about their bj's because their boyfriends criticize them, which isn't good for the relationship.

Good point, Owl... my bf is so damn big (not that he minds hearing that) that I go a little numb after a while... and that's even with the breaks, variation, eye contact thrown in. He's the only one I've known, so I don't know how it would be if he were smaller (and I don't want him to be different, anyway!). So tips are needed from those who've gone down on larger cocks...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

braisler

From a guy's perspective to all of the ladies looking for tips on giving good oral sex... nothing substitutes for enthusiasm. Having good technique and varying your approach, using hands, lips, and tongue are all important, but nothing is more important than making it clear that you LOVE what you are doing. Believe me, we can tell!

I don't know if anyone else has this problem when performing cunnilingus, but I often cut the frenulum of my tongue (the little peice of skin attaching the tongue to the bottom of your mouth) on the edges of my front teeth, when I am pleasuring my wife. I don't know if it is my oral anatomy, or the sharpness of my teeth, but I can almost judge how good of a job I have done by how much my frenulum hurts the next day. I just bring this up to point out that it is not so easy to give oral pleasure to a woman either. I would have to agree with the previous posters that each has its own challenges, but each also has its own rewards.

__________________
---
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
- Albert Einstein
---

little_tippler

I have never gone numb in the mouth but I generally always make my guy cum if I'm giving him a BJ... we don't usually have marathon BJ's though, 1 hour is ages...maybe we could give that a go but my SO gets a bit desensitized if we go for too long. Well, I guess I'm lucky, either I really get him off well, or he just cums quickly

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

ShaniFaye

I can get my guy off quickly to, IF I choose to....sometimes its more fun to draw it out though

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

innovis

My girlfriend has very little sensation in her labia, and she gets pretty much zero from me fingering her (she says it actually takes away from the experience) so I do alot of licking and sucking of her clit. She likes it when I kind of suck her lips and clit together in my mouth while tonguing them, but it takes a while, and I too begin to get numb in the lips. I get that feeling afterwords sometimes where my lips have been kind of squished by the sucking? I kind of make the motion that a toothless man would make when eating?

I was just complaining because she litterally cannot go for more than 5 minutes, even if shes constantly interrupting the actual BJ to just tongue me or kiss parts of it. She doesn't take me deep enough to gag herself, so I don't think thats really the issue. Its also not her complaining about her lips getting numb. I'd be satisfied if she could go 15-20 minutes!

The reason I said something about stamina is because what she does complain about is her jaw... opening up your jaw requires you to keep a muscle flexed... which is basically oral stamina. Maybe later on the lips would go numb, but she doesn't have the stamina or will or whatever to go that long. *shrug*

BTW: I don't think she has a yeast infection, because sometimes shes perfectly fine, the pain is usually the next day or 2 days after when we try to have sex again. I can't remember the last time we had sex more than once in a day I basically get the response that 1 time a day should be "enough"

Sage

Sweetened Blow!!

Good oral lube, no sugar (so you don't have to be as worried if you get it in your ta-ta), tastes pretty good, not too goopy, reacts well to saliva, gets all slippery so you can get some major hand action going... basically there's nothing bad I can say about it. It makes BJ's feel really good (or so I have been told) and it makes for a lot of sliding and oral fun!

Anyway, with BJ's you shouldn't just be using your mouth, if you are, like has been said, it's not fun. Use those hands and that tounge! Also, if your guy is really big, you might not be able to get him in your mouth without feeling like you have your lips wrapped around a fire hose! Try frenching the underside of the head (the sensitive part) while stroking him up and down with your hand!

I've apparently been blessed with all the amazing BJ giving genes here on TFP- I've never had a problem giving a blow job, not lockjaw, not numb lips, nothing. OH, speaking of numb lips... Is that because you're wrapping your lips over your teeth and then sliding up and down the shaft? That'll make your lips go numb for sure! Perhaps you should get an instructional video- Good Vibrations has a good selection of staff-recommended instructional vids. Everyone can benifit from advanced sex ed!

Perhaps as a follow-up to this little exhibition of mine (NSFW) I should do a thread on BJ instruction.... I think we all should... we'd probably learn a lot!!

__________________

pig

I'd have to say that I've had some good bjs, and some not so good - but I appreciated very single one of 'em. The only time you know it's time to retreat and try a different maneuver is when the old scrape shows up. As far as stamina goes - I guess I've been mostly lucky with my serious girlfriends/lovers - then again, I don't really like to have my little guy being worked too fast - I think the stroke frequency might be a factor? I can't really compare the difficulty of giving a blowjob versus eating a lady out - but I can say that it's not always so easy munchin' box. I wouldn't really call it a walk in the park all the time - that's a lot of work in a small area.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

Mantus

Hey Albaya,

I can think of a couple of tips.

First off I hope you are taking your time to warm him up. Us guys enjoy much of the same stuff you girls like. Would you want a guy to jump down on you and try to lick your clit hard and raw right away? - not gona lead anywhere for most women, infact it might make them ucomfortable. So build things up first. Kiss his mouth, chest, slowly make your way down to his pants. Tease him, wait till he is really hard before you go anywhere near his cock. Pay attention to the balls too, getting them lick can feel sooooooo good.

Another point of advice involves the way you might be handling the situation. I dont know about other men but what turns me on the most about a girl is her sexuality. So it might help if you show him that you enjoy what you are doing. Look up and wink at him, or give him a smile now and then. Or stop the whole show, start kissing his neck and wisper in his ear if he like it, then make him say that he wan't more. Rub his cock against your chest, neck or face, use your body and be creative. Tell him how much you love it and how sexy he is.

So to sum things up you might wana change your strategy. Instead of making it a head bopping marathon you could try to turn him so much that all it will take is a few strokes or licks to make him cum. It probably wont cut down your time but it will be allot more fun.

Hope this helps a bit. I apologize for the many assumptions I have made, I am shooting blind here hopping to hit something ^__^

Acetylene

I used to have a boyfriend who demanded the most rigorous and athletic blowjobs imaginable and took freakin forever to come, so I feel your girlfriend's pain!

Here are things she can do to keep from hurting herself--
--protect the frenulum on your tongue by keeping your lower lip in between your tongue and teeth (which you should be doing anyway to keep from cutting him)
--take the load off your lips by using the (extremely strong) muscle in the middle of your tongue: use your hands to hold his shaft still, thin tilt your head down so the head and underside are rubbing on your tongue and not your lower lip. Then press your tongue hard against it. You can keep this up for a long time, although it requires care to keep from rubbing him against your upper teeth.
--also stretch your tongue out long to rub as much surface area as possible, and make it firm. Don't forget to protect it from your teeth like I mentioned above.
--also press the head against the upper palate of your mouth, which requires no effort at all; but it also doesn't feel as good so it's just a quick break, unless he likes the rough feeling
--hold the head with your hands to make a visit to his balls
--deep throat takes practise and if you don't do it often enough, you have to start over, so practise frequently till you get it down (hehe)
--fiddle around with positions till you find a good one. I like to curl up on my knees between his legs while he's lying down, which takes the load off my neck since I can use the larger muscles in my back to get the up-and-down motion

and finally,
--everyone keeps saying, take breaks. I'm saying DON'T, not if he doesn't like it. If you keep interrupting his buildup it will take FOREVER to get him off. You're better off going as long as you possibly can, then another 30 seconds, then giving up and fucking him. Only time you really need to stop is if you are deep-throating and can't breathe, or if your lips are so tired you risk slipping and cutting him with your teeth.

The muscles in your jaw and neck WILL strengthen with practise! Treat it as if you were working out at the gym: do it every other day, all the way to the limit (stopping short of injury, of course), and you will be delighted to see your strength improving. Plus I doubt any man will object to your "exercise regimen" ;-)

__________________
There's no justice. There's just us.

abaya

Update: (just checking this thread after a few days)

Thanks to all for the tips. Last weekend he came to visit and I gave him a blow job after his 3 hour drive. I enjoyed giving it (and my face didn't go numb this time), and I'm SURE he enjoyed receiving... He even tasted different this time, which was great.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran