Sue

As far as sleeping with them goes, assuming you're not in a serious relationship and just dating?

I'm not able to do that. Even though I'm not seriously with that one person, if I'm sleeping with them, then that's the only person at that given time. If I no longer see them or what have you, then it stays that way until I meet someone else. I'm not the type of person who sleeps around purely for pleasure. It's just not possible for me. It feels cheap and unsatisfying for me.

I'm not dating anyone right now, simply because of choice. I can't be with more than one person, it just doesn't feel right to me.

There is one person who I wouldn't mind being with seriously, but alas, he is far away in a completely different state. He's coming to visit me in the end of March though Definitely not rushing that one!

So, how many of you are comfortable with multiple partners (not an orgy type of thing though)? How many of you aren't? And why?

__________________
Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

noodles

off the top of my head, i don't think i could. i pretty much associate sex with a relationship. but i've never tried or been in the situation where i'd be able to and admit that i may consider it seriously if the circumstances were right.

__________________

Furry

What Noodles said, minus the considering. I'd never have sex out of a relationship - it would feel cheap.

__________________
Furry is the leader of his own cult, the "Furballs of Doom". They sit about chanting "Doom, Doom, Doom".
(From a random shot in the dark by SirLance)

Hardknock

10 years ago knowing what I know now, I'd be playing the game. Why not? If you're only casually dating and there's nothing serous I see no problems with it. If there's no solid commitment then yeah I'd go for it. Just protect yourself of course.

Locke00000

My SO is bi and talks about wanting to have a 3-some in the future with one of her previous partners (ie. it was just sex, no relationship). I'm not too sure how I feel about it (as it seems like a lot of pressure would be put on me to please both of them), though last time I told her my concern, she said she would bring it up when we are sexually much further into the relationship. I honestly wouldn't have a problem with another guy, though that also sounds like asking for an uncomfortable situation unless he and I went through a number of ground rules first. Then again, my gf also wants very badly to get it on with my roomate and his gf, and I have to admit this has a strange apeal, though I doubt they would go for it. We would have to discuss it, though I am definetly open to it...

StormBerlin

I can date more than one person if there is no sex involved, but as soon as we start having sex, then I don't date anyone else. Probably just for the health aspect of it really. And I guess there's emotional ties as well. It also goes without saying that I wouldn't be sleeping with anyone that would be sleeping with other people.

__________________
"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

ironmaiden7o7

I couldn't date more than one person at the same time. I am so comfortable and happy with being with just one person, I can't picture life without him, or with someone else. :-)

Bacchanal

Yes I can.

I dont like to get serious too quickly, and I make that known right from the beginning so they know what they're getting into if they so choose. Sometimes, that can turn into more, but sometimes those feelings never develop, and it either stays that way, or we stop talking all together. I feel as long as I'm as honest as I need to be, and protected, there isn't a problem.

noodles

i'd also like to point out that i'm not really the kind of guy to have more than one girl openly interested in me at any point in tmie, so this will probably never come up

not that i'm bad looking or whatever, i'm just really shy myself and my personality/style tends to attract girls on the shy side as well

__________________

Ella

I used to be able to, way back in my early 20's....but I don't think I can now. For one, it's just the kids and I and I work full time, so the rare spare time I have is spent with someone special. And if I'm looking to build a relationship with the person I'm dating, I kinda like to focus on them. I have neither the time, energy or sexual inclination for multiple sexual partners these days (not when I have my Rabbit, natch).

__________________
"Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

CityOfAngels

Under certain circumstances, of course I could sleep with more than one person. But a lot of ground has to be covered with those involved (when I say "those involved," YES, I do consider a significant other that isn't in the bedroom at the time to be part of that category). If I had a significant other, I probably wouldn't, but in the case that I did, my significant other would know about it, preferably before it took place. If I didn't have a significant other, whoever I would be sleeping with would have to know that:
a) yes, I do sleep with other people.
b) no, I am not in a serious relationship.
c) no, I do not expect that person not to see anyone else.
and d) no, I cannot go through with it if they are uncomfortable with it in any way.

It's all about trust, honesty, and being able to accept the fact that you might not get laid, even if you can, if the other person isn't cool with it.

__________________
The words "love" and "life" go together. It is almost as if they are one. You must love to live, and you must live to love, or you have never lived nor loved at all.

Sue

I forgot to add I get tied in emotionally as well, so that's another major factor. I just can't see myself being kind of like Samantha on Sex & the City lol

__________________
Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

ShaniFaye

Back when I was in the dating world....I could go out with many different people....but as far as having sex.....It was a one at a time thing (except for the occasional 3some, with which the person I was dating was also involved so of course he knew about it)

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

little_tippler

one at a time. because I can't imagine it any other way. because I'm built that way. It turns me off. I get emotionally attached and don't like sex outside a meaningful relationship. I'm absolutely monogamous.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

ARTelevision

sus and mimi and I have lived and loved together for many years. we share everything and are a unit, physically and emotionally. it's just a great situation and I'm quite comfortable within in.

__________________
create evolution

boredom

Im gonna agree with Furry sex outside relationship cheapens the act itself

__________________
Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys?
Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief.
Wiggum: Princess Opal?
Opal: I see nothing here, but I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta
Burke and Major Dad.
Wiggum: But they seem so happy!
-- ``Bart the Murderer''

StanT

I've dated 2 women briefly (one became my wife), but I'm more the serial monogamy type when it comes to sex. Not that there have ever been crowds of women dying to jump in the sack with me.

lunchbox

I've never had the pleasure (?) of having that option of having sex with more than one person but I have to say, I don't think I could. I had the opportunities to have sex with people I never cared about and turned them down because I'd feel bad about it as a person. some may see that as weak, but I see it as a strong point of my character, I'm a dedicated person and loyal person and I can't betray someone's feelings or my feelings to someone even if they're open to it. That is really cool if all of you can do that but I just can't do it, I have to be committed to someone to sleep with them and i can't be committed if i'm divided.

__________________
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

-Douglas Adams

thurst74

I could easily sleep with multiple partners, with the caviate that i am not serious with either person. I am married right now, and I would not want to share that with anyone. However, if I weren't and it was just sex then it would and could be great. I have in the past had threesomes and they were fun, with the key word in there "fun". My biggest suggestion is that if you are going to do this to make sure that there are no serious feelings in the relationship. It will deffinatley ruin the relationship.

Acetylene

more than one guy at a time is just plain icky. I would never want to have sex with one guy, and then be thinking about his cum might still be in me with the other guy. EWW...*shudder*

__________________
There's no justice. There's just us.

MoonDog

I can only devote my energies to one partner at a time.

Bryndian_Dhai

Now that I'm married, I'm monogamous because he wants me to be monogamous, although he doesn't have a problem with me playing with another woman once in a while. When I was single, though, I didn't have any problems sleeping with anyone I was out with, male or female (I'm bi). If I were single again, I'd probably jump right back into serial promiscuity. *grins* Its so much more fun than monogamy, lol..

__________________
“When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”
~Sinclair Lewis

snowy

I've been in sexual relationships with more than one person at a time, but I don't like it simply because other people cannot handle it the way I can and jealousy almost always becomes involved. I'm pretty bohemian when it comes to my ideas about sex and relationships, but I have a distinct tendency towards serial monogamy with brief periods of experimentation. I recently passed on a sexual relationship simply because it would have made things weird between my existing sexual partner and I. He's not as comfortable bending and blending the lines of relationships as I am, and since our relationship (though strictly sexual) is important to me, I said no to the other guy. Ah, but at least I'm satisfied...

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Apache

I'm married now so of course I'm only with one person, but even if I was single I still couldn't be with more than one person. But that's just me.

Willravel

Sex for me entails a huge emotional tie. Trying to maintain that tie with two people would be too difficult, not to mention that I am a one woman kinda guy no matter what.

firestormo

I learned to just be with 1 at a time.. it makes things easier in the long run

__________________
--Fire

xtreemmar1ne

For me the sex always comes with the relationship. There have been several times I've had the oportunity for casual sex and turned it down. It just didn't feel right to me. Having been in a steady relationship for the past nine months, I can honestly say I'm much happier with just one woman.

__________________
A true gentleman believes that others are more important than he, that kindness is not a sign of weakness, and that respect is a necessity.

ophelia783

I don't think I could ever be more than one person, whether it was just for sex, or an actual polyamorous relationship.

It's not even necessarily a matter of morals or of jealousy, but I don't want to be with anyone other than majik_6, ever, even if that person was included into our primary relationship....

Just my $0.02

__________________
~*~* He with a sharp tongue slits his own throat *~*~

skysooner

In my early 20s I did it all the time. I also wasn't in any committed relationships. As soon as something developed potential, I always dated that person only.

stevew

Several times I was dating with two girls at the same time.