Girlfriend isn't excited about Little PMF21 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

thespian86 · 01-28-2005, 11:56 AM

Yeah so this is kind of killing my self esteem. We have been dating for awhile and I've been having lots of fun with her but I'm starting to get ansy... I've been doing everything for her and she REALLY likes it. But I need something.

So what do you think the problem is? I tricked her into admiting she isn't very touchy but all the same... it's different. I need a little attention, it's hard on (no pun intended) my little guy, he's all excited and shes rubbing her legs against him and ginding on him and then she just wants to sleep... poor fella.

Anyways, is there advice? Anybody. I'm thinking if anything, Nancy will show up for me. Thanks in advance

PMF21

Averett · 01-28-2005, 12:15 PM

She's young right? And maybe this is one of her first relationships?

Sorry to say, but you're just going to have to give her time. If you like her, and you seem to, you'll do that for her.

Just know that this has nothing to do with you. It's her issues. And there is nothing wrong with her at all either. Some girls can be very touchy and sexual and whatnot right away, and others it takes time for them to loosen up so to speak. Sounds like she's one of the latter.

And the tricking thing? Don't do that. You're an adult. So is she. You're old enough to have adult conversations about yourselves. If you can't talk to her about your sexual needs and such, then maybe you're not ready for such a relationship yourself. Talk to her about your feelings. You might be surprised with her response.

thespian86 · 01-28-2005, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Averett

She's young right? And maybe this is one of her first relationships?

Sorry to say, but you're just going to have to give her time. If you like her, and you seem to, you'll do that for her.

Just know that this has nothing to do with you. It's her issues. And there is nothing wrong with her at all either. Some girls can be very touchy and sexual and whatnot right away, and others it takes time for them to loosen up so to speak. Sounds like she's one of the latter.

And the tricking thing? Don't do that. You're an adult. So is she. You're old enough to have adult conversations about yourselves. If you can't talk to her about your sexual needs and such, then maybe you're not ready for such a relationship yourself. Talk to her about your feelings. You might be surprised with her response.

Damn... I was going to put your name Averett.

It wasn't a trick, we comunicate very very well, our relationship is comfortable and easy going so we talk about everything. She just wouldn't share about it so I found a different way to ask her... I didn't trick her, just found an alternative way. Sorry about the mix up. Honestly, we talk about everything... sometimes she just needs a prod in the right direction.

Averett · 01-28-2005, 12:30 PM

Sure sure, I know Nancy is the go to girl for TPF

Honestly, your girlfriend sounds a lot like myself. I'm sure I frustrate the hell out of my boyfriend at times. But the fact of the matter is, somethings take time. Not every girl grew up giving handjobs to the boys on the bus.

Its good that you two can talk about things. Keep that up. And you're right, she might just need a little push. But she needs it from herself. She'll come around.

And now, just to scare you a bit

A girlfriend of mine got married nearly 3 years ago. At the time (and as far as I know it continues) she wasn't excited about Little Husband (to use your term). No touchy touchy. No oral action. Nada. As far as I know she did everything to avoide touching him at all. But I'm sure your girlfriend is nothing like that

thespian86 · 01-28-2005, 12:48 PM

I bet she isn't like you, in fact I know she isn't... I only wish she would share your love for Dashboard

Sweetpea · 01-28-2005, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21

Yeah so this is kind of killing my self esteem. We have been dating for awhile and I've been having lots of fun with her but I'm starting to get ansy... I've been doing everything for her and she REALLY likes it. But I need something.

So what do you think the problem is? I tricked her into admiting she isn't very touchy but all the same... it's different. I need a little attention, it's hard on (no pun intended) my little guy, he's all excited and shes rubbing her legs against him and ginding on him and then she just wants to sleep... poor fella.

Anyways, is there advice? Anybody. I'm thinking if anything, Nancy will show up for me. Thanks in advance

PMF21

Time, time and more time

My bf and now my hubby had to wait long time before i felt comfortable and now, heck, there's nothing we don't do (well, besides scat play, like the thread above this one, whew, scary) . . . it just takes time . . . patience, patience

I know it's hard (no pun intended) but hang in there . . . Keep communicating about it . . . and she'll come around when she's feeling ready to

peace,
Sweetpea

skier · 01-29-2005, 09:32 AM

I guess is a little dirty but...

I've met a number of girls that more than enjoy recieving pleasure but aren't that great at giving. I've found they are much more willing to play with you just before their big O. I free up a hand and guide one of theirs towards.. me. They usually start reciprocating with minor encouragement.

I admit it's not the nicest game to play, but spending a few hours getting blue balls ain't much fun either.

edit- The reason my technique works is because is not because I pressure a girl into touching my member, but that when she is feeling pleasure, it's a natural thing to reciprocate it.

I think most girls(initially) have a mental image of a penis, and that it somehow includes some sort of personification- like lust, desire, intent, etc. which is absurd but it changes their view of it from just a piece of flesh that enables pleasure to something else, something scary. Is this way off? or am i on the right track here?

The best way to remove that fear would be to "turn on the lights"- that is, show her what a penis really is, in a safe and comfortable environment. which is around, fortunately, when you're having sex. (usually)

Or am I scarring girls by letting them stroke me? because that is totally the opposite of what I thought i was doing.

01-29-2005, 10:40 AM

I have to echo Averett and Sweetpea on this one...

My boy had to wait a loooooong time before he got anything from me. And the fact of the matter was.... I was scared. I'd barely even seen a penis before, let alone actually *gasp* touch one. I'd say give her time. And maybe, even, give her little pushes in the right direction. I dont mean scarring her for life or anything, but that's what it took for me. I made a small move and he helped me the rest of the way.

The important thing is that she knows she's not being pressured and that she's comfortable. Makes all the difference in the world.

chickentribs · 01-29-2005, 10:48 AM

Take her to the movies, buy the big tub of popcorn, cut a hole in the bottom and then when she goes for the popcorn... Oh wait - that would fall under "trickery" which we've already ruled out. Sorry Averett! (I'm listening to Dashboard myself right now if that helps...)

Seriously though - there are things you can do to help her feel more intimate and comfortable with you that lead to the promised land. For example - jump in the shower together in the middle of the day and be relaxed and playful with her, ie. don't make it about sex! If she is comfortable letting you service her needs in bed - this shouldn't be a huge step. Just don't get crazy yourself - not yet. Give her time to get used to being around "Little PMF21" (your words - not mine! Maybe try "Big Daddy" or "El Capitan" instead?) and when she sees how comfortable you are cracking jokes and having fun, she will follow your lead. When everyone is comfortable and at ease - that's when it gets fun! Good luck!

Oh yeah - don't let it get to your self esteem. It's her thing that you can help her around... no big deal. It just happens at a pace you can't and shouldn't control.

thespian86 · 01-29-2005, 08:06 PM

Refering to the previous post... I am nothing but silly unless I have to be serious so everything is always open and relaxed. The other day I called him "Trogdor"... the almighty dragon with the beefy arm.

This isn't so much me being fustrated with not getting anything, I can survive because I'm not in this for sex, it's more of a me not understanding why she seems excited but doesn't come through for me.

On a slightly unrelated subject, we should start a dashboard fan club

chickentribs · 01-29-2005, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21

Refering to the previous post... I am nothing but silly unless I have to be serious so everything is always open and relaxed. The other day I called him "Trogdor"... the almighty dragon with the beefy arm.

This isn't so much me being fustrated with not getting anything, I can survive because I'm not in this for sex, it's more of a me not understanding why she seems excited but doesn't come through for me.

On a slightly unrelated subject, we should start a dashboard fan club

Wow - Trogdor, huh? It does kinda put El Capitan to shame. Kudos!

I have known of Dashboard and Future seems Forever for a while, but just recently something clicked and I have been playing it into the ground. Love the guitar work. Anyway lets at least give them a thread, eh?

georges · 01-31-2005, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skier

I free up a hand and guide one of theirs towards.. me. They usually start reciprocating with minor encouragement.
I admit it's not the nicest game to play, but spending a few hours getting blue balls ain't much fun either.

Yeah, I did that...blue balls is killer, although i do love finding it painful to walk(4 hours of kissing and touching but no real action for my little(monster

) man was not especially pleasurable)

pig · 01-31-2005, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickentribs

Take her to the movies, buy the big tub of popcorn, cut a hole in the bottom and then when she goes for the popcorn...

And that's another great moment in Hook-up History.

As far as the actual thread goes - I don't know what to tell you. I know that if I were in your shoes, and I was giving her *things*, I wouldn't want to be guessing about why she doesn't want to reciprocate. Me and the ladyfriend would be having a frank, hopefully non-confrontational, conversation about her viewpoint.

pocon1 · 01-31-2005, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Take her to the movies, buy the big tub of popcorn, cut a hole in the bottom and then when she goes for the popcorn...

"Needs more butter!"

xniper · 02-03-2005, 02:53 PM

Stick her in the butt!!! Nah Just kidding good things come to those who wait..

thespian86 · 02-06-2005, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xniper

Stick her in the butt!!! Nah Just kidding good things come to those who wait..

Hahaha I think she'd notice

Aladdin Sane · 02-06-2005, 07:50 AM

Fellow TFPers know I'm the curious type, so here goes:
Is your girl a virgin?
How far do you two go and is she more or less passive the whole time? When you talk to her about this how does she respond?
And finally, how old are you two?

thespian86 · 02-09-2005, 11:32 AM

I'm 22, she's 19

She is

She is really into recieving... she's never uncomfortable.

She is just saying that she will move slowly into it... but then on the other hand she's on her bed moaning and mumbling "I'm gonna cum"...

so what to do?

01-28-2005, 11:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Girlfriend isn't excited about Little PMF21 Yeah so this is kind of killing my self esteem. We have been dating for awhile and I've been having lots of fun with her but I'm starting to get ansy... I've been doing everything for her and she REALLY likes it. But I need something. So what do you think the problem is? I tricked her into admiting she isn't very touchy but all the same... it's different. I need a little attention, it's hard on (no pun intended) my little guy, he's all excited and shes rubbing her legs against him and ginding on him and then she just wants to sleep... poor fella. Anyways, is there advice? Anybody. I'm thinking if anything, Nancy will show up for me. Thanks in advance PMF21 __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

01-28-2005, 12:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	She's young right? And maybe this is one of her first relationships? Sorry to say, but you're just going to have to give her time. If you like her, and you seem to, you'll do that for her. Just know that this has nothing to do with you. It's her issues. And there is nothing wrong with her at all either. Some girls can be very touchy and sexual and whatnot right away, and others it takes time for them to loosen up so to speak. Sounds like she's one of the latter. And the tricking thing? Don't do that. You're an adult. So is she. You're old enough to have adult conversations about yourselves. If you can't talk to her about your sexual needs and such, then maybe you're not ready for such a relationship yourself. Talk to her about your feelings. You might be surprised with her response. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

01-28-2005, 12:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Sure sure, I know Nancy is the go to girl for TPF Honestly, your girlfriend sounds a lot like myself. I'm sure I frustrate the hell out of my boyfriend at times. But the fact of the matter is, somethings take time. Not every girl grew up giving handjobs to the boys on the bus. Its good that you two can talk about things. Keep that up. And you're right, she might just need a little push. But she needs it from herself. She'll come around. And now, just to scare you a bit A girlfriend of mine got married nearly 3 years ago. At the time (and as far as I know it continues) she wasn't excited about Little Husband (to use your term). No touchy touchy. No oral action. Nada. As far as I know she did everything to avoide touching him at all. But I'm sure your girlfriend is nothing like that __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

01-28-2005, 12:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	I bet she isn't like you, in fact I know she isn't... I only wish she would share your love for Dashboard __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

01-29-2005, 09:32 AM	#7 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	I guess is a little dirty but... I've met a number of girls that more than enjoy recieving pleasure but aren't that great at giving. I've found they are much more willing to play with you just before their big O. I free up a hand and guide one of theirs towards.. me. They usually start reciprocating with minor encouragement. I admit it's not the nicest game to play, but spending a few hours getting blue balls ain't much fun either. edit- The reason my technique works is because is not because I pressure a girl into touching my member, but that when she is feeling pleasure, it's a natural thing to reciprocate it. I think most girls(initially) have a mental image of a penis, and that it somehow includes some sort of personification- like lust, desire, intent, etc. which is absurd but it changes their view of it from just a piece of flesh that enables pleasure to something else, something scary. Is this way off? or am i on the right track here? The best way to remove that fear would be to "turn on the lights"- that is, show her what a penis really is, in a safe and comfortable environment. which is around, fortunately, when you're having sex. (usually) Or am I scarring girls by letting them stroke me? because that is totally the opposite of what I thought i was doing. __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim Last edited by skier; 01-29-2005 at 03:10 PM..

01-29-2005, 10:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
Untitled Guest	I have to echo Averett and Sweetpea on this one... My boy had to wait a loooooong time before he got anything from me. And the fact of the matter was.... I was scared. I'd barely even seen a penis before, let alone actually gasp touch one. I'd say give her time. And maybe, even, give her little pushes in the right direction. I dont mean scarring her for life or anything, but that's what it took for me. I made a small move and he helped me the rest of the way. The important thing is that she knows she's not being pressured and that she's comfortable. Makes all the difference in the world.

01-29-2005, 10:48 AM	#9 (permalink)
chickentribs Addict Location: Mansion by day/Secret Lair by night	Take her to the movies, buy the big tub of popcorn, cut a hole in the bottom and then when she goes for the popcorn... Oh wait - that would fall under "trickery" which we've already ruled out. Sorry Averett! (I'm listening to Dashboard myself right now if that helps...) Seriously though - there are things you can do to help her feel more intimate and comfortable with you that lead to the promised land. For example - jump in the shower together in the middle of the day and be relaxed and playful with her, ie. don't make it about sex! If she is comfortable letting you service her needs in bed - this shouldn't be a huge step. Just don't get crazy yourself - not yet. Give her time to get used to being around "Little PMF21" (your words - not mine! Maybe try "Big Daddy" or "El Capitan" instead?) and when she sees how comfortable you are cracking jokes and having fun, she will follow your lead. When everyone is comfortable and at ease - that's when it gets fun! Good luck! Oh yeah - don't let it get to your self esteem. It's her thing that you can help her around... no big deal. It just happens at a pace you can't and shouldn't control. __________________ Oft expectation fails... and most oft there Where most it promises - Shakespeare, W.

01-29-2005, 08:06 PM	#10 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Refering to the previous post... I am nothing but silly unless I have to be serious so everything is always open and relaxed. The other day I called him "Trogdor"... the almighty dragon with the beefy arm. This isn't so much me being fustrated with not getting anything, I can survive because I'm not in this for sex, it's more of a me not understanding why she seems excited but doesn't come through for me. On a slightly unrelated subject, we should start a dashboard fan club __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much. Last edited by thespian86; 01-29-2005 at 08:09 PM..

02-03-2005, 02:53 PM	#15 (permalink)
xniper Upright	Stick her in the butt!!! Nah Just kidding good things come to those who wait..

02-06-2005, 07:50 AM	#17 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	Fellow TFPers know I'm the curious type, so here goes: Is your girl a virgin? How far do you two go and is she more or less passive the whole time? When you talk to her about this how does she respond? And finally, how old are you two? __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

02-09-2005, 11:32 AM	#18 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	I'm 22, she's 19 She is She is really into recieving... she's never uncomfortable. She is just saying that she will move slowly into it... but then on the other hand she's on her bed moaning and mumbling "I'm gonna cum"... so what to do? __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.