StephenSa

Nope, no excuse for cheating. Its not as though she's witholding oxygen from you just sex. You won't die without sex. Also the original post wasn't very specific. It said "lack of sex" but what does that mean? No sex at all or just not as much as the poster would like. To me its one of those things that you have to be very honest with yourself about. Is sex important enough to me to leave this marriage? If I were in that situation I'd have a long talk with the wife and get to the bottom of it. If its medical, hey, lets get some hormone shots! If its mental perhaps therapy is sin order. If she just has no interest at all and is unwilling to change then maybe a compromise is in order. Maybe a deal can be struck where you stay in the marriage and enjoy the comfort that brings but the amorous partner is allowed to to have extramarital affairs as long as he doesn't bring them home. If you get caught cheating odds are the marriage will be over anyway and it will end ugly. Might as well go ahead and split up as nicely as possible then try to find a partner that will satisfy those sexual urges. At least then you will have been honest with your wife and yourself.

Big_E

I had the same question asked on my radio show. The answer to this riddle is easy. What makes you happy.... If Sex weighs more then Love. then Hell Yeah Cheat, but if love weights more than sex. then no you need to talk to your person. and Get a DIVORCE then have sex..,... HA HHAH A HA If your ever listen to radio stations check out my show.... Saturday Nights in North ALabama on 104.3 ZYP

welshbyte

I was quite careful not to say "he" or "she" in my post actually... so not quite everyone

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MSD

You're welcome to disagree with me, and since there are 28 of us including admins, you're likely to agree with at least one of us on any given issue. I'm open-minded, but there are some things that I don't agree with in any circumstance, and fucking around behind your partner's back instead of trying to solve problems is one of them.

To give more substance to my post, and let you see where I'm coming from, I'll elaborate.

I place a lot of value on trust. People have to earn it from me, and after violating it, they don't get it back. Cheating on someone after agreeing to those vows in front of all of those witnesses is a big breach of trust. If you're having problems after years of marriage, you should talk to them before doing anything else. If you can't talk to someone about a problem after years, you either shouldn't have been married in the first place, or something needs to change. If nothing changes, the marriage needs to end. It's unfortunate that it would come to that, but it's better than lying to yourself and trying to look like you're happy.

joeshoe

I would say that there is no excuse for cheating. Talking about it with your wife and working through it together is the better way.

Man, cdnjeepin, that's such a sad story. At least you and your ex are still good friends. But I never considered that a spouse's lack of sex drive could erode a marriage. It really makes me think...

Stompy

If you talked to her about it and she still hasn't tried to make it better, then you might as well end it.

THEN you can have all the extra sex ya want, but I wouldn't have an affair because that looks bad on your part during a divorce. Males tend to get screwed even more if the divorce is brought on by something like cheating..

I have to agree with what someone said above: to me, lack of sex is just as harmful as cheating. If she sees no problems with not having sex, then she obviously isn't understanding YOUR needs.

Personally, if one is in a relationship completely void of sex, I don't quite understand why the other partner cares if they go out and have sex with someone else. It's not like they're looking for an emotional relationship - just some quick fun sex.

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gorilla_

Nope, I don't buy that argument.

Surely a relationship is more than just the sex. It's the feeling of being able to lean on a shoulder when you are feeling down or depressed.

doncalypso

This was a really good thread... I think it deserves to be brought back to the surface for further discussion with the newer members.

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tecoyah

I was in a frigid Marriage....it is not a good thing.

I am no longer in that marriage. Though this was not the only reason for the divorce, it did play into it heavily on hindsight. When a woman tells her husband she will "Comply with her Wifely Duties" (heavily Christian)....it kinda puts a damper on the Love Life.

Did I cheat...No. But I made her think I did, to fascilitate the divorce. She is now aware of what I did , and Why I did it. We are amiable, but very distant.

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doncalypso

Damn... That must've taken some guts and discipline to pull off. Have you found anyone more accomodating and willing in the sexual area since then?

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Gonth

All I have to say is that you people give me nightmares with threads like these.

Horrible, horrible nightmares

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Evileyez

I totally agree agree.....that isnt a good enough excuse to cheat
dont really think there is good reasons to cheat in the first place
its all about communication!!!

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