Digilogic

So I broke up with my gf of a year about a month ago. The last month has been mostly miserable, since I can't decide if I wanna try again with her or not. She is the same way in that she doesn't know if she wants to try again. She just doesn't know what she wants in general. I constantly debate with myself about it. Sometimes I think that we could be happy and we should try again, and other times I feel like I should be with someone totally different. My current situation is that I am not with her so I can't be happy about that, and I am not over her so no other girl is gonna be attracted to my depressed self...

Any advice?

Thanks

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"Good artists copy, great artists steal." - Pablo Picasso

Konichiwaneko

wait another month.

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ibis

Give it atleast three or four months before you consider geting back together with an ex. I know how it is, everything reminds you of her right now and you feel like you've lost a part of yourself. That's ok, that's normal. At this point you can't make a sound decision about geting back together with her or not.

Take it easy, give it a few months.

Alyssa

Give it more time, don't go back cuz you will go back you your old ways of being with someone who doesn't know what they want or if they want to be with you etc.

I went out with someone for seven years and we broke up 2 1/2 years ago on somewhat good terms...one of those "lets take some time off and get back together in a month" bullshit break-up lines...that I fell for. We never got back together, infact I have not seen him at all since we broke up. I thought I would never want to be with anyone after him...in fact the thought of being with someone else made me feel ill. But, I gave it time and now I am with someone else who treats me a lot better than he ever did. And I am glad for the change.

I am still not completely over the him, I still miss him and think of him often...but you have to realize that sometimes the person who you thought you were in love with was actually not 'the one' And that silly qote that I'm sure you have heard lately,"there's plenty of other fish in the sea" really is true.


So! Give it time...don't go back, go foreward...don't rebound with some random person, (I did that twice and it sucks) and you will eventually find your way out of this mess.

KirStang

Nicely said.

Digi, just give it time. In the meantime, all i can advise is that you go and try to stay busy, not only will that make it easier, but it will also be productive.

Neptune

You broke up for a reason. Don't lose sight of that reason whatever it may be, because it's that reason you will be stuck with again if you get back together.

Why settle for 2nd best? Take the time you need to get over her, and go out and find a girl who suits you more

Digilogic

Well I keep thinking that I might have made a mistake and that we could be good together. And she is always around because we have the same friends. I am really emotional and i will like hear songs and stuff that make me feel really like getting back with her, but then other times I can be ok with being alone...

timalkin

Why did you break up with her in the first place?

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Trinity: "What do you need?"

Neo: "Guns. Lots of guns."

-The Matrix

Konichiwaneko

my answer seems so simple though

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World's King

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Digilogic

I originally broke up with her because another girl came onto me and I wanted to be free to pursue her. Now I feel that I made a mistake.

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"Good artists copy, great artists steal." - Pablo Picasso

Digilogic

Wow you know what I do think that I read that already...

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"Good artists copy, great artists steal." - Pablo Picasso

bookerV

Move on. I am in a similar situation. My ex broke up with me because there is too much going on in her life and she isn't sure what she wants to do with things. Don't sit around and agonize over her, just gotta pick up and keep moving forward. If you thought about being with another girl enough to break up with your ex then there were problems in the relationship. Take what you learned, grow a bit as a person, and move on... It will cause less problems in the long run... Easier said than done I know, I wish I could follow my own advice more easily. You will find someone better that is more suited to you, then you won't want to be free to pursue others...

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Lionel Hutz

Rlyss

Digilogic - I don't mind replying, I know it always feels a lot better to get personal advice from someone about your personal situation.

I'm with the people that replied here. Having second thoughts after a breakup is as normal as eating and breathing. In that sense yours isn't a unique situation, which is why so many people think it's not really an issue. The fact is that after a breakup, most people freak out and wonder if they made the right choice. Years down the track, very, very few people think back and wish they'd never ended the relationship, and that's because they find someone new.

Your relationship with that woman is gone, it's over, and you might need a little more time to accept it, but it's just a fact. If you go back to her you'll end up as miserable as you are now, all over again. It's like a comment I saw in the quitting smoking thread, someone said that you've done the hard part, if you go back now you'll have to go through that again. And like someone else said (I don't know who), "If you're going through hell, keep going." Don't step back, don't stay where you are. Move on and you'll get through it.

If you want to pursue the woman who came onto you, that's a viable option, as long as you recognize the chances that it won't amount to anything if she knew you had a girlfriend at the time. If she did, she doesn't sound very trustworthy to me. Whether you chase her, or you just chill out for a while and do your own thing, that's up to you. Those are your options, but calling up your ex-girlfriend isn't one.

iceburn

If I were you I would try to use another girl to forget about your ex. This can be as simple as trolling your local grocery store for ladies. Usually the best catches hang around the fresh fruits and vegetables. A good pick up line would be to spend some time near fruits and when a possible mate approaches said fruit, say something like "I can never tell when they are ripe. Might you guide me?" This gives her the impression that you have inferred based on her appearance that she is knowledgable, and also that you're not intimidated by her looks enough to keep your mouth shut. After she says something, make a derogatory comment like "Well, you may not know shit about fruit, but you've got great hair." Even if her hair sucks. Most women will not visit Stop and Shop without a mate unless they are single. This is a scientific fact I have learned from reading articles on the internet constantly. You may heed my advice, or not.

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... and shit.

high_jinx

breaking up showed you were at points in your lives where the relationship wasn't working anymore. getting back together this soon will virtually guarantee you building up to and repeating the same conclusion you came to a month ago. notice i'm not saying you're not the right people for each other.... there's a chance that you are and there's a chance that you could get back together and find that out. but right now you need to forget all about that, start pouring all the energy and time you were pouring into yourself, and like most people on here said talk to her in a few or even a few more months.... you both need to be on new chapters in your life with new things to share for getting back togethter to have a chance of working.

i had a friend who used a metaphor of a garden when advising me. the garden is your emotional health/soul/psyche and when you meet someone they do some amazing things to your garden that you would have never thought or discovered to do yourself. but when a relationship dissolves, it can mean that you've both been spending too much time in the other's garden. there are certain things that only you can water or till or weed or fertilize yourself... only you know how. so putting on your oshkosh overalls and getting in there and using that green thumb of yours on yourself will build you up for your next great relationship. who cares if its with this girl or some other great girl.... it'll be all good either way.

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-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.

cheesemonkey111

can some one give me advice?

I have been with someone now for seven months, and i thought i loved her, but i cant stand how indecisive she is....some times she's happy, and sometimes she is so depressed about things like school....what do you think i should do?

tman17m

monkey - talk, talk and talk to her....communication is one of the BIGGEST keys to a working, happy relationship....

alas, i found this out too late, and have recently been through a bad breakup....

dont let it get to this point....tell her how you feel, even if it is uncomfortable, it will be better in the long run if you truly love her