phunktastic

I guess this would go in this forum.

There's this girl in one of my classes that seems to dig me. We talk a lot in class and I try to make it obvious that I like her, too. One problem is that this class is only once a week, so I don't talk to her very often.

Anyway, on to my question:
This week, she talked about going home and how she visits with her boyfriend when she goes home. The thing is, she said boyfriend with fairly obvious verbal ""'s and said she wouldn't really call him a "boyfriend." She mentioned that he's moving away in a month or two and they decided they were pretty much finished.

So I have to wonder what her reasoning was to bring this up. I was planning on asking her to go out and do something sometime, but this stopped me. I'm not sure what the best thing to do would be. Wait until next quarter when the boyfriend is completely out of the picture? Maybe she mentioned it because she's looking for someone now and has already cut things off with him in her mind.

I have no idea whats in her head. I figured some of the more experienced people here or some females would have a better idea and some advice. Thanks for reading!

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Lockjaw

5 will get you 10 she's putting a line out there for you to grab hold to.
Give it about two weeks then ask her just off the cuff how things are going with her boyfriend and ask in a concerned manner. Odds are things will be no better or completely in ruins. If she at that point acts like she's saddened by it...offer to take her some place "fun" to get her mind off of things and bam you are in the door. If she doesn't act like she's saddened by it give it another week then ask her on an official date.c

Plan B...
If she is still with the dude start putting little questions in her head like "Why are you staying in the relationship if you are unhappy?"...etc... A lot of the times some folks want an outside source to help convince them to take action.

But from the description sounds like she's ready for a change of pace and if you wait you'll miss out.

sushiboy

Sounds like you are thinking about it too much. Just go with the flow. There is no reason you should get caught up in a self inflicted head game. If you really like her, the persue her.

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Squishor

Two thoughts come to mind:

1. She's throwing out a line hoping you will bite. She likes you and she's thinking about hooking up with you.

2. She's just talking about what's going on in her life and the thought never crossed her mind. Seriously, as a woman, I have been stunned to learn that some men were interested in me when it never would have occurred to me. I might talk about my boyfriend because that's just a part of my life, without it meaning anything.

Good luck either way.

summerkc

I don't know, if she was into you, why would she bring up her boyfriend that she is going to ditch in the first place?

That being said, just go for it, as long as you are bigger than the boyfriend.

CunningLinguist

I don't think it's ever a 'good' sign when they bring up another guy. That implies that she's unavailable. I see two different scenarios:

1) It's a head game. She's looking for attention and maybe nothing more than the ego boost of someone pursuing her. On the up side, some girls desire attention to such a degree that it will lead to sex. Problem here is if you really like her or just want to hook up.

2) She's confiding in you as a friend only. Perhaps it'll develop into more, but she IS still with this guy, maybe she just wants a man's perspective on things.

Obviously she hasn't been clear enough with her intentions to you, or maybe you're trying to read more into it. I'd try to get her out with a group of people. Set up a night out with friends, invite her along and see where it goes. Sounds to me like you're setting yourself up for rejection if you're too forward. Hell, back off for a bit and see how she reacts. Tell her about this other girl you're interested in and see if she has positive or negative things to say.

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Jason
94 3000GT VR4 (12.67 @ 105.93 & 12.802 @ 109.40)
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mr sticky

Regardless of her "boyfriend," if you want to go out with this girl, ask her out. My wife was dating a guy for three and a half years when I asked her out. Needless to say, she opted for a relationship change.
You never know what someone is about unless you ask. I do have one piece of advice. Always ask her to lunch first. It's less formal. There is way less romantic pressure, and if the date goes bad, you can have a doctor's appointment. If the date goes good, it can last through dinner and all night long!

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Cataclysm

A lot of guys will complain about situations that spawn from this. If you get involved with her, don't be surprised if somewhere down the road in the next few months she calls it off with you because she's trying to get involved with her ex again.

CunningLinguist

[QUOTE=mr sticky]Regardless of her "boyfriend," if you want to go out with this girl, ask her out. My wife was dating a guy for three and a half years when I asked her out. Needless to say, she opted for a relationship change.QUOTE]

Just hope she doesn't opt for another relationship change when someone else comes along that she feels can offer her more.

I'd say the girl's age plays a big factor. Seems to me that a lot of younger girls, particularly college girls want the game, the chase. They're not looking to settle down and get married. If you make it too easy, it's no fun any more. Once they age a bit, they know what they want, even if it's just sex, and they're able to pursue it themselves.

I think it's a postitive sign that she's mentioning breaking up with the guy, but rushing things along will probably work to your disadvantage especially if she still carries emotional attachment to this guy. It could aslo be seen as immoral if it seems you're preying on her, even if you ware you don't want her to know :-P I'm tellin' ya, nothing works to drive a woman crazy like taking your attention away/elsewhere. She obviously hasn't expressed enough interest or you'd know the answer. If you feel like gambling, ask a thousand girls and a few are bound to say yes...

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Jason
94 3000GT VR4 (12.67 @ 105.93 & 12.802 @ 109.40)
04 EVO VIII

skier

Possible scenarios in my mind

1. mentioning the boyfriend as a safety net for her in case things fall through between you and her. If she figures she's not as attracted to you as she first thought during a date she could just say something along the lines of "It's great to just go out with a friend and have fun instead of doing ________ (relationship activity) with my boyfriend.

2. She's trying to up her value in your eyes (I may be flirting with you, *she WAS flirting right?* but I have a boyfriend at home that wants me, can't you see i'm attractive?) That is, she wants you to know that she is popular/hot etc. so you become more interested in her.

3. You didn't convey your interest in her and she threw you into the friend zone where she just wants to talk about random things with you. Worst option but it might be possible. Also, she might be socially clueless herself and not realize you two are flirting. Which is doubtful as well.

anyways I say ask her to coffee or go for a walk after class and turn that into a date. Girls like spontaneous stuff, they all want that story where "girl bumps into guy at _______ (no, bar/pub doesn't go there), unexpected relationship blossoms".

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ibis

Come on, she's telling you there's an open position. Apply!

woodhead

Dunno, I met a very nice lady in a lift in my building who told me that she and her 'husband' were living on the tenth floor. A couple of weeks later I met her again, and she told me that her 'fiance' was on business in Kazakhstan. She also gave me all of her phone numbers, her address and her email. I didn't contact her, in any case.

So there's available and 'available'.