Strange Famous

And well, it just can't be me can it? And I dont really mean actual sex, since I havent had any in years... but the fact I have porno mp3's makes me feel guilty, and sometimes I feel bad and delete them all, I feel pretty ashamed about a lot of sexual thoughts that I have - although I can talk about it online in real life I wouldnt really talk about sex other than the most basic macho bs (ie - "would you with her?" "oh yeah"... or "no way")

But why do people, or at least some people or people like me, attach guilt and shame to sexual feelings and desires... why are we ashamed to go into an adult store? Why do I hide my porno mp3's in places on my pc that no one else can find if they ever wanted to use it (and why do I feel really paranoid and delete them every now and again) - why would I never be able to buy a pack of condoms if a girl was serving at the chemists?

I mean, it isnt just me, right? Other people feel like this too?

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

weiistone

Sometimes I feel guilty just for the thoughts also. Get a dirty feeling after pleasuring yourself and have to delete something or get rid of what you felt makde you dirty.

I suppose becuase society has something hardwired it into us that it is shameful. In other countries you might not feel the same becuase the norms there are much different. You shouldn't feel guilty but you do anyways, hmm.

Not much I can help you with there...Good luck with it though.

RoboBlaster

It could be a number of reasons from the way your parents did or didn't talk about sex to traumatic first experiences. The real question is what do you think is the cause.

Strange Famous

I dont think I ever had a conversation about sex with either of my parents, I wouldnt really have been comfortable with it if I had I think.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Eugeni

Lots of people feel guilty about sex due to religion. In ancient religions, sex and the female body was divine and sacred. And the orgasm was the way to get closer to god. But know it's the other way around. So, conciously or unconsciously, you may be influenced by this social belief.

__________________
titular

jazz

Maybe you feel guilty because you feel like other people are judging you. Although, no one would know about the porn you download, you still know and after a while it makes you feel dirty because that is how our society portrays porn.

I'm a girl, but I still don't feel comfortable buying condoms because I feel like I'd be saying, Look at me I have sex. Not that I'm embarrassed of it, I just don't like strangers to know what I do.

Having had past experience as a cashier I know that they do not care or really even think about what you are purchasing. They do not go on their breaks and discuss condom purchases with their coworkers. The girl isn't gonna laugh or even feel uncomfortable because it is just another product in the store that is being sold.

__________________
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -Michael Dermott

rollo

I feel exactly the same way; I dunno why exactly....but I don't think it involves societal norm to a great extent.

I'm sure there are lots of people who have been through the whole guilt/delete cycle.

__________________
-sanity is not statistical-

qtpye4u84

I heard it some where that if you are really little and your parent/parents tell you that it's bad to play with your self or what not until you are married it could cause you to feel a little guilty.
I feel shy and weird when I go into an adult store, I make my exspressions when I am in there like; I don't wan't to be there and my boy friend is making me lol. I like thing's like that, I just feel like god gets mad at me cause my family is christian so we were told that having bad thoughts about some one is a sin but I do it any way, so thats why I feel a little guilty.
I hide my things cause I dont wan't my nieces to find it and watch it or play with the stuff I have.
Have you ever been afraid some one was going to walk in on you while having sex or what not??
If so its just you feeling guilty that some one is going to see it and then think that you are gross or bad, its just in your head.
I watch Talk Sex With Sue she is very helpfull.

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The QTpie

phredgreen

it's pretty easy, especially nowadays with so much energy being put towards the eradication of smut, to attach a negative stigma to sexuality. upbringing and surroundings can also have alot to do with it. the simple fact that masturbation is, without a doubt, a lonely act if not performed with someone else causes that loneliness to transfer to guilt and shame. your feelings are justified, and until you start actively seeking and pursuing sexuality with others, it will persist. the combination of feeling bad and masturbation to fulfill your base sexual needs can create massive lows, the only solution is a partner, someone with whom you can explore your sexuality.

it's gonna be up to you. if you wanna feel better, you're gonna hafta branch out past your hands.

__________________
My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
- Thomas Paine

i8one2

I never had Internet at my home growing up so it wasn't an issue. My friends and I would get a hold of an old penthouse or Playboy and be quite happy. While in the military, the idea of hookers-(I was overseas) was wonderful and I took full advantage of it, plus sex was almost free for me. That took care of the mechanical needs while still young and taught me a great deal. When I came back, I always stayed in long term relationships where there were no children present, and a view hear and there was no big deal. What is kind of ironic now is the fact that I would of never even conceived the fact that somehow I would actually become involved in the areas of BDSM...

I had a general guilt about sexually like everyone else while growing up and well into my late 30s. With the help of learning about myself, finding the partner that is truly someone I can share everything with, NO TABOO's...sort of speak. I we/I can not only explore the guilty pleasures, we thrive on it, when we have the chance.

My final thought on this matter is I do believe there is a time and a place for viewing/enjoying and engaging my sexually pleasures along with my subby. We have made it less guilty with less taboos. And that makes our life a bit less stifling and more enjoyable from a sexual standpoint. We kind took that guilt we were riddled with and peeled back a few layers.

__________________
LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC"
"Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad"

Quality is for those who know
what they want and are at peace with what they have.

"S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker