*embarrassed* problem

[CheeseButtons]

I don't quite know how to say this, but tonight a girl was going down on me,...and I couldn't get fully hard. I am still a virgin...and i was really nervous. I felt bad, and the girl felt bad as well...needless to say it sorta cut the evening short.

Can i chalk it up to being nervous (I've never had a girl go down on me before), I feel really embarassed about the whole thing.

Thanks,

Dave

[bermuDa]

there's a good chance you were just nervous, try to relax and enjoy yourself!

[micah67]

Relax: I'm almost positive that's what it was. I remember the how apprehensive I was that first time, too. Don’t feel bad, it’ll stay in your mind that way. Have fun, tell her you want to try again, you “need practice.”

[mastboyx]

yeah u were probably too nervous just chill man

[Averett]

You were just nervous. Don't worry about it. Relax and enjoy the moment

[Nitrox]

try this next time:

http://www.mycocksafloppin.com/

[Bill O'Rights]

Yep, dollars to donuts, you were were just stressin' too much. Try to calm down a little, talk about it with your young lady, and enjoy yourself.

[sillygirl]

Just relax. Enjoy it. If she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't. Don't worry about what she might think or what might happen. Trust her. Trust yourself. Have fun.

[skysooner]

Sex is natural but feeling comfortable about it is not. This is perfectly normal. I always go into sex just trying to focus on what feels good and to get my partner to communicate the same. I even found a spot on my wife (13 years married) last night that she had never noticed was actually an intense turn on spot. It was actually on her back right where her arm joined her shoulder just to the side of the shoulder blade. Just approach sex as one of the ultimate enjoyment things in life and you will relax that much more. Just be sure and use protection while doing this. While sex is natural, so is pregnancy, STDs etc and that can ruin the event for sure.

[ratbastid]

Look, my first time I couldn't get it up either. It's TOTALLY a nerves issue. Basically every time I've ever been with a new person it's been at least a little bit of an issue. (no pun intended)

I know the thoughts you're having are something along the lines of, "What's wrong with me?", and it feels like a permanent thing. Look, my nearly-first time, we had to call it off for lack of engorgement. My actual-first time I was plenty hard enough and lasted about five seconds. Any performance-anxiety hangup you can develop, I developed.

And now, fourteen years later, I have a very complete and satisfying sex life in which I perform admirably, if I do say so myself.

It's not a problem. As you relax and get comfortable with each other it'll go away.

[sigma1042]

don't worry about it
she could've been really bad at it
send her over and i'll let you know

or of course, it just means you're gay

[ladyadmin]

Don't beat yourself up over this. Don't allow her to continue feeling bad. It's neither of your fault.

Both of you may have tried to hard. Next time you are together, don't stress, relax, breathe deeply and allow your mind to not focus on anything imparticular.

[agball]

Think Baseball

[himself]

If you can still get erect when you, er, take care of things yourself, then your plumbing is working, so don't sweat it. You just had a case of the nerves. Just be glad you didn't have the "come in 3 seconds" problem, instead!

[saltfish]

Hell, I couldn't get off from head for the first few months... ..nerves my good man, nerves...

-SF

[Evil Milkman]

Try relaxing by first making out with her for a long time or mutually masturbating for a while. Pretty soon you'll be so in tune and relaxed that you'll won't be able to get rid of your erection.

[mattevil]

yeah relax man from what i hear it's pretty normal for this to happen your first time becuase of the things running through your head.

[World's King]

I wish I had this problem. My Penis jumps up without warning when a girl rubs up against me in a bar. I'm 22 this shit isn't supposed to happen anymore.

[theguyondacouch]

Originally posted by sigma1042

or of course, it just means you're gay

Was that really needed?

[motdakasha]

Originally posted by CheeseButtons
I am still a virgin...and i was really nervous. I felt bad, and the girl felt bad as well...needless to say it sorta cut the evening short.

It's called performance anxiety and totally normal. Don't be ashamed and don't let it get to you. However, if this keeps happening to you, it is most likely a cycle of guilt and anxiety. Physiological causes for sexual dysfunction are actually more rare. Either way, if this is consistently a problem for you, see a doctor or therapist. Otherwise, the more you don't worry about last time, the better you're likely to do the next time.

Originally posted by theguyondacouch
Was that really needed?

No.

[RoboBlaster]

I would chime in and give some advice, but everyone has it said and said it well. Listen to them!

[DelayedReaction]

Kudos on getting one in the first place. If you're anything like me, chances are you won't get off until you're comfortable with things. That takes time and patience.

The best way to get comfortable is to focus on what feels good, and communicate with your partner. Nothing makes sex better than open, honest communication between partners. Make sure that she feels the same way about recieving pleasure from you, and your experience will improve.

I personally love making other people feel really good; it's fun to focus on my partner. They tend to appreciate the attention, and show their appreciation in remarkable ways.

[sigma1042]

Originally posted by theguyondacouch
Was that really needed?

about as needed as your post about it

[ladyadmin]

Stating that someone is gay isn't a constructive way of communicating with someone, imo

[Bleed Me Dry]

Ahhh! One of my ex-boyfriends experienced this. It will all go away one you allow yourself to just let go and have fun.

[sigma1042]

Originally posted by ladyadmin
Stating that someone is gay isn't a constructive way of communicating with someone, imo

imo, its not either

get a sense of humor

[doncalypso]

Originally posted by CheeseButtons
I don't quite know how to say this, but tonight a girl was going down on me,...and I couldn't get fully hard. I am still a virgin...and i was really nervous. I felt bad, and the girl felt bad as well...needless to say it sorta cut the evening short.

Can i chalk it up to being nervous (I've never had a girl go down on me before), I feel really embarassed about the whole thing.

Thanks,

Ian

Performance anxiety: It happens to the best of us, son....

[World's King]

sigma1042:


Get some class.

[motdakasha]

Originally posted by ladyadmin
Stating that someone is gay isn't a constructive way of communicating with someone, imo

Originally posted by The Original King
sigma1042:


Get some class.

[water_boy1999]

Originally posted by The Original King
sigma1042:


Get some class.

Indeed.


Look CheeseButtons, I had a very similar situation when I was about to get laid the first time.....well....um...not really similar at all actually. I was helping this new girl in town move into her new place a loooong time ago. After we moved a bunch of stuff, we stpped with the mattress. She already had the hots for me and I guess she felt obligated to thank me. We got nekkid, and I was about halfway in before I freaked out, pulled out, then abruptly left in a hurry. I was so embarassed. We ahd a few drinks and I shouldn't have been driving, because I sped home, got pulled over and almost had a ticket if I hadn't of told my story to the cop. He felt kinda bad and told me to go home.

Just relax. Like wine, you will get better with age!

[analog]

How's about we all stay on topic so I don't have to shut this whole shindig down, hmm? Thanks!

Also: just because someone makes a tactless post does not give everyone a free "bash a member" card. We all still need to stick to the rules.

CheeseButtons: it's been said a dozen times already, don't sweat it! You'll get over it in no time, and be better for it with the experience gained.

A note of suggestion: You might try going and doing some stuff to her to get yourself even more "in the mood", either before or during the oral sex. It's all good, just give it a whirl!

[sigma1042]

i'm not trying to offend anybody or make enemies here
all i'm trying to do is add something different to the board/forum/thread,
there are plenty of people that give their "constructive" opinions
i'm just trying to add some humor because some people may come here and could use a good laugh, little chuckle or a even a guilty snicker
if you don't like my sense of humor, thats ok, then i would ask you to ignore it and not give it further attention but someone else out there may enjoy it and as long as its not malicious, which i never make it, please don't take it personally because i try not to personalize anything i type
i do have limits and there are certain things that i do feel are off-limits to my commentary, so please don't question my class
i don't try to pick any fights because i hate message board fights, so i apolgize if "get a sense of humor" has been taken negatively, i just didn't want to have to type a lengthy response
i would also like to apologize to cheesebutton for having to use your thread for this
if i *really* offend somebody (which shouldn't happen), please let me know about it through private msg because i don't want to be bogging down someone's thread with off-topic or one word (or blank) posts


to sum up, don't take any of my comments seriously (just look towards the sig for a reminder)

[Blackthorn]

I wouldn't think about baseball my friend. You need to think about how damn good that boner feels sliding in and out of her warm wet mouth. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...god I need a girlfriend!!

[Slims]

Was she ugly?

[sillygirl]

omg. Now I just have to go like this ~~~~>

[runawayfetus]

damn when that happens to me... i cant control myself theres no way in hell i wouldnt be able to get hard.. lol kinda hard to understand i guess

[FallenAvatar]

Probably stress or nerviousness.

If you take and anti depressants these can also lead to sexual side affects as I'm sure many other drugs can to.

[hunnychile]

Relax and enjoy all the other nice parts of loving your lady. Sometimes it just takes time and at some point when you are both laughing about it joke around and ask her if she wants to spit or swallow...sometimes men freak out about the final blow! She can improve and you will relax as time allows.

[Fenton-J-Cool]

Originally posted by Bill O'Rights
Yep, dollars to donuts

What the hell does that mean?

[stevie667]

it's a metaphor used to describe something when it's a certainty, i'm not sure of the exact origins, but it would probably be something at work where if you got it right, you had to be bought donuts, or something along those lines.

and dude, don't worry, Jr.'s a fickle bastard, it happens to the best of us.

my tip: imagine the situation in your head, and try and get jr. to get himself doing what he should be, over and over again, then when it comes to the real thing, it should be a lot easier, as everyone knows what they should be doing.