05-02-2003, 06:19 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NEAR DC
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need advise on office crush....
alright well i met this girl at work......she was actually in my training class when i started since she aswell started on the same day. ever since the first day i met her i've had my eye of her. she's not like knock out gorgeous but she like girl next door hot. she's funny, loves to laugh, has a killer smile but at the same time her and i have sat down and really had some deep conversation. best of all she's single and if you've read my earlier posts you would know that i always end up hooking up with chicks that are already taken. anyways...her and i over the past couple weeks have gone out quite a bit. whether to a bar for drinks, lunch or dinner. we share alot in common like music, places of interest, we both have lots of friends, and just love to be dumb with eachother. she is also a very giving girl who always insists on paying everything for me but that goes both ways, we always take care of eachother.
ok so from what i can remember since when we drink we usually end up pretty drunk is that i think we've kissed a couple times and i know she's been the one to intiate. when she's drunk she has these conversations with me asking me why i don't like her and that she really likes me but what does this all mean? i just don't understand girls when it comes down to it but put it this way......i would hang out with this girl regardless of whatever happens because i do think she's really cool. oh yeah did i mention that just about every guy at my new job wants her? yeah but it seems i'm the only one she really talks to and hangs out with. i was just thinking to myself....i should probably just take it slow since i wouldn't want to fuck things up by just going for it and then making things at work awkward. i think it would be best to get to know her alot better and then see if its even worth trying to have a relationship with this girl.....well that is if she would even have me because i would consider myself to be very lucky. alright i'm done venting about this....any thoughts?
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whadata my damie. |
05-02-2003, 06:48 PM | #2 (permalink) |
big damn hero
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It's always difficult to date someone you work with.
Especially if this is a job that you don't want to have to leave. If you think it's worth trying then by all means, pursue... Just remember that if anything goes awry, the entire workplace is going to know about. And if it's particularly dirty, her friends, which means your co-workers, are going to know the ins and outs. I've had it work both ways. When the break up was bad though it took me months to shake off that "dirty asshole" label that followed me around for months. good luck to you and for gods' sake, man....be careful
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No signature. None. Seriously. |
05-02-2003, 09:46 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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don't shit where you eat.
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
05-03-2003, 05:11 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: London, England
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I'm gonna have to have pretty mcuh teh same advice as guthmund did. IF you think that it's worth it then good luck. Sometimes it works (had that) , but always EVERYONE else finds out.. and different storiess can be said (recently i found out my now-ex was cheating on me with another coworker) so jsut becareful and best of luck to ya!
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05-03-2003, 05:27 PM | #5 (permalink) |
Psycho
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This is someone you were training - ethics are totally dead. Not enough to watch little-age kids teachers violating little kids. You are an instructor teaching someone who should know better. You are both wrong. You for taking advantage of her. Her for taking advantage of a system that will take her side if it comes down to "he said-she said". Do this world a favor - find a job as a warehouse clerk or something.
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05-03-2003, 05:46 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Unbelievable
Location: Grants Pass OR
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Quote:
ummmmm ya might wanna re-read his post...the way I read it, they were in the same training class, she wasn't somebody he was training, but somebody he was training with. |
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05-04-2003, 12:58 PM | #8 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Up yonder
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Some companies have strict policies on inter-office dating so check that out unless you wish to put your (and her) job on the line.
Other than that...go slow. If you both like each other than the fact that you work in the same building shouldn't be an issue in the long run. Best of luck.
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You've been a naughty boy....go to my room! |
05-06-2003, 06:02 PM | #12 (permalink) |
Eccentric insomniac
Location: North Carolina
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if the girl is worth it, you can always get another job.
I say go for it and secure your relationship with her (if that's what you want) because showing too little affection can be worse than trying to move too quick. Then see how things go, but keep an eye on the classifieds.
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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence |
05-06-2003, 06:14 PM | #13 (permalink) |
Tilted
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Well....the only jobs I have had with a training class were telemarketing and waiting jobs. I dont know if this is what you are doing....but if it is something like that and you are not planning your future around it......by all means, go for it.
If this is a job you are planning on keeping for a long time, dont do it for reasons already said. I wouldnt do anything like that at my job now....because everyone who works there is long term. But like I said....if most of the folks who work there are not long-term......do it. My $0.02
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Read the date on the outside of my cocoon. It specifies my release... but im running out of room. |
05-07-2003, 12:38 PM | #14 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Michigan
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Quote:
I second that.... Don't do it...as tempting as it may seem. All it takes is one fuck up and it is Sexual Harassment lawsuit time...
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It's My Duty to Please That Booty!! |
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05-10-2003, 10:31 AM | #17 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Ontario Canada
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Its dangerous to swim in the company pool...but as mentioned, you could always look for another job...
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"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." - Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) |
05-10-2003, 11:45 AM | #18 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Oregon
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I'd say go for it. If you're really interested in this girl, don't let her be the one that got away. I may not be the guy you want to be taking advice from, though
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When life gives you lemons, sqeeze the juice into a squirt gun and shoot people in the eyes |
05-10-2003, 03:03 PM | #19 (permalink) |
Hello, good evening, and bollocks.
Location: near DC
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take it slow...no need to hold back excessively and repress your feelings just because of your job, but workplace relationships are touchy. however if you're not rushing, and being real with each other, i definitely think there's a much better chance of creating a real good relationship here!
if it were me, i'd be careful not to hook up too quick, and try not to bring each others' personal lives into your discussions. ideally work shouldn't change relationships, but it still does. just enjoy each others company! good luck man! (incidentally, this thread's making me think whether i should finally ask out the redhead from the credit union...she's so nice...) |
05-10-2003, 03:09 PM | #20 (permalink) |
Hello, good evening, and bollocks.
Location: near DC
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oh man...hahaha i just thought of this one thing my buddy at work said! there's a girl at work who has a kid by one coworker, was dating another guy (good guy too, hard worker) and there was so much static between them that the last guy ended up quitting all of a sudden.
so my friend says, this girl's got to start shopping for her meat and her bread at different places!!! heheh not really a commentary on this thread, but it's still pure comedy... |
05-11-2003, 07:22 PM | #22 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NEAR DC
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wow! you guys have been awesome!
well let me update you on this situation. at this moment, i'm playing the guy at work (only guy at work) she hangs out with but there are no strings. just friends....yes we have kissed but only at drunken moments and i have turned my head when she's tried kissing me out at a bar but in front of a couple other coworkers. i did explain why i did this to her one night when she spent the night too hahahahaha i know what you're thinking but let me be completely honest here. i didn't have sex with her, she was all cuddled up with me, arm across my chest and head on my chest sleeping like a baby of course till i did the "hug and roll" and went to sleep myself. i gotta say its been a while since i've had a new girl sleeping in my bed with me and i gotta say, why is it so hard to finally fall asleep when you have that person the first time? guess its just the awkwardness because to be honest the last thing i thought was her spending the night at my place during the week. i haven't told you all about this either, how there is this other guy in my office who i think is in love with her. i thought this guy was an alright dude, like he'd come over and have drinks and we'd talk but he always talked about her and how he felt about her. i would just listen and not say anything about my thoughts on her but then he would tell me how she never answers his calls and how he knows that she always goes out with me and all that jazz. basically the message i got from him was that night was to stay out of his way since he really digs her. he didn't come out and say it but i've told others about this last time he came over to my place to hangout and the things he said and thats basically what they thought...you all agree? anyways...back to where i said i thought he was an alright dude. well last thursday i'm about to get off of work at 930pm, i do tech support by the way. anyways she calls me at 920 and says i wanna go out with you and have some drinks since i just finished my exam. i was like alright well meet me up at my house and i also told her that i wanted to talk to her about this drama i don't want to be involved with regarding the other dude at my office that really digs her and on top of that if there was something going on i don't want to get in the way, cause problems or make anyone jealous. sooo we're at the bar and i tell her all this and she tells me that she has told him on numerous occassions that he needs to chill out. i guess she really doesn't dig him like he digs her. so we talk and its all cool and we're hanging out with my friends and then out of the blue......he shows up! crazy! he comes up to me and is like whats up man...you down for a shot! i said sure, then she tries to say hello to him and he tells her to fuck off. this is where the drama starts and this is from a 31 year old man! well basically he goes off on her about why she never goes out with me and why she doesn't do things when she says she will do things like going out to meet up with him. so finally when he finally backs up off of her, i go over to talk for her and take her out onto the patio to talk and see if she's alright. since it seems that he came to that bar since he knows i go there on thursday nights and i'm sure he just wanted to see if she was there with me. so we're outside chatting and he walks up to me and apologizes and tell her to fuck off again. then he's walking away towards the parking lot and just yells...you know what! fuck the both of you. and then comes back up to us and he starts yelling at her and she takes the drama out into the parking lot since he was making a scene. well i watch for a bit to make sure he doesn't touch her and everything seems fine just him bitching and throwing his cell phone across the lot. what drama! well i go back in the bar and my friends are like....yo man....whats up with that? i nod and am like...ummm he's nuts dude i guess. i have no clue, its not like i thought this was ever going to happen. anyways she comes home with me after that mess and this is the same night she spends the night. drama let me tell you! i told her that i think she was leading him on and she told me no but maybe its because she's really just so damn nice that some guys get the wrong vibe. who knows. one question...the night she slept over...she wanted to shower before sleeping in my bed with me....tell do you think she's just the kinda girl that does that or was doing it in case i might of ending up eating her pussy that night and possibly having sex with her? what do you think? ok people. you've been awesome and the saga continues.
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whadata my damie. |
05-11-2003, 08:32 PM | #23 (permalink) |
Addict
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Ah! So there's silience now when it comes to sex. Novices.... Look, I know enough to know that there are some pretty loving women out there who in their mind believe it is ok to have sex with as many partners as it takes until they find Mr. Right. Of course, they don't come up and tell you this but by the way your girl seems to be acting it's written all over her. If you take things slow you are confirming your gay or more likely establishing that you will be a "true" friend or even worse a "big brother". Now you must ask her "Are we dating?" because nights at bar could count as dates whether you both know it or not. And I'm not gonna come right out and say "Fuck her!", that's man's instinct. I given you enougn bullshit so I leave you with this,"Let things play out and change these personal talks she has about herself and problems (which is quite frightening to me!) into something more enjoyable like what she finds fun as a hobby (Corny, I know.) then use that. Whatever you do let her make the first move.
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Slowly but surely getting over the loss of TFP v. 3.0. Where the hell am I?.... Showering once a month does not make you a better person. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King, Jr. |
05-13-2003, 08:13 PM | #25 (permalink) | ||
Banned
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Re: need advise on office crush....
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Let me see, break out the checklist here... 1. Initiates physical encounters, check... 2. Asks why you don't like her, check... 3. Says she likes you, check... 4. Asks to GO SHOWER BEFORE GETTING IN BED WITH YOU, check... Well, it appears what we have here is fairly simple. She wants you to fuck her. She wants it bad, hard, fast, and often. She wants it from you in the absolute worst way, and you're taking WAY too much time. I have to ask though, why is it taking so long for you to act? Do you usually not have intercourse so quickly? If not, you may rethink how progressive this girl is in comparison to your own values (if any) or morals (if any). Good luck, and I hope you can lose this job if you have to. |
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05-14-2003, 05:20 AM | #26 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NEAR DC
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alright the reason why i've been taking my time is first off i work with this girl and i do love my job. i work for one of the best companies to work for in the country and i don't want to lose it. so my theory is that if its worth it and i know that everything will be cool, then i'll go balls deep on this girl. one of her buddies that also works with us has told me aswell, "dude, you could fuck her...i know it...she's not like that towards just any guys", soo yeah we'll see what happens but come thursday night which i think she'll be staying the night again. after the bar i'll let her shower up and then i'll shower/flog the dolphiin and get into bed and see what happens...maybe i'll just eat the puss or maybe i'll end up fucking her doggie. which ever the case...something will happen and there will be a huge smile on her face.
so i hope you can understand why i've been taking my time but this is just the way i am. i know most of you out there would of already had tried fucking her but see if i had done that..i kinda lose respect for the girl if she fucks me too quickly and then i lose interest and so far she's kept my interest not to mention she's already made plans with me for the future as far as going to shows together and possible trips. yeah i know....i'm a gump and there are all the signs but you know i'm dumb when it comes to women. thanks though.....
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whadata my damie. |
05-14-2003, 05:50 AM | #27 (permalink) | |
Banned
Location: Massachusetts, USA
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Re: need advise on office crush....
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I lost one job already due to something remotely similar. Now I don't "see" women qua women (just "people", not "women") at work. It screws me over outside of work too, though. |
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05-14-2003, 05:54 AM | #28 (permalink) | |
Banned
Location: Massachusetts, USA
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Quote:
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05-14-2003, 06:55 AM | #29 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NEAR DC
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hey guys.
i will be keeping this job but i'm not sure if i'll be staying in the same dept. i do tech support at the moment but we'll see what happens. personally from what i've seen so far and how she is, i don't see much drama. but who knows anyways i'm not just gonna sit around if there is something good in front of me. what if she happens to be a girl that i can have a good relationship with, so lets just see what happens. if anything i think she would leave this job before i do. she wants to stay in the same industry but we both have different interests as far as what area in this field we want to work in, so it'll work intself out but for the time being we're both having a good time. if this thread manages to stay up i'll be more than happy to update with upcoming events and happenings as i have been. time is what will tell but from what i heard from people that are her friends, even if something did happen there wouldn't be any drama. things would always be cool at work and i know that i wouldn't give any drama either since i'm not like that. i know that working in the same place isn't a good thing, i totally understand that. i've seen some of my buddies do the same but with girls they really had no interest in besides fucking. i have more of an interest but i'm not pushing for anything yet since i still feel i'm still getting to know her. am i making any sense?
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whadata my damie. |
05-17-2003, 05:55 AM | #32 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Working in the same place can be no problem for people who are already married or in long-term relationships. My wife's company values having married couples working there. But that's completely different from approaching someone in your office. Big risk that it won't work out, and the office will become a place of torment.
Personal story: I met my first wife at the store where I worked as a manager. The rumor mill there was the ugliest and fastest that I've ever seen before or since, so there was a constant pressure being exerted as the entire place traded stories about us. You talk to long to someone else and you're "seeing them on the side". When we divorced, it was even worse, as everyone treated us like their favorite soap opera. I wanted to burn the entire building with everyone inside. |
05-18-2003, 11:54 AM | #33 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NEAR DC
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well this would be my first time dating (if we did end up dating) someone i work with. as far as the talk around the office, i'll have to admit that in my office people are usually in other's business.
sooooo we'll see what happens and thanks again for the advise. later.
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whadata my damie. |
06-17-2003, 07:28 AM | #34 (permalink) |
Addict
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We haven't heard from the bachelor here in a while. Maybe things went as smooth as they were supposed to?
__________________
Slowly but surely getting over the loss of TFP v. 3.0. Where the hell am I?.... Showering once a month does not make you a better person. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King, Jr. |
06-17-2003, 07:43 AM | #35 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NEAR DC
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hahahaha whats up people.
well actually for now her and i have become very good friends. we are both currently seeing other people but we do hang out alot. i feel that there is still something there and i know she feels it too since she did just happen to go away with me for the weekend down to charleston, sc for some fun in the sun. we've been upfront and honest with eachother which is very good and i think we both know where we stand in eachothers lives but for now we remain very good friends but there is always the possibility of something more..... thanks for not forgetting about my post and i will try my best to keep up with anymore adventures i come into. did i tell you about the biker chick i met? crazy! hahahahhaha till next time.
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whadata my damie. |
06-17-2003, 08:40 AM | #36 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: X-posed
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You are thinking too much at this point.
Go with your gut and your heart. The here and now is tempting The long haul is reality Where do you want to be
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Living on the west end dreaming of the theater playing in the Metropolis - Dream the Dream Live the Dream |
06-17-2003, 09:38 AM | #37 (permalink) |
Dubya
Location: VA
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Fun read. I definitely wouldn't in *my* company, hehe...
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"In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work." |
06-17-2003, 07:19 PM | #39 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NEAR DC
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and this is why we're friends.
going with my heart???? i'm am no where in love with this girl and when it comes to my heart there are about 2 other girls i would rather share that with. girls simply confuse me anyways and i know alot of you guys are in the same boat. we really never know whats going on in their minds. simply confusing! damn women! but i love them!
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whadata my damie. |
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