Meta

I thought I'd follow Nikki's lead and put up a companion guide to the one she posted, this one focusing more on the ol' Colonel Lingus, that smarmy carpetbagger. Nice to be able to contribute something to the forum, btw.

So. As always, everyone is free and encouraged to comment. Men of course, and especially ladies as they're the ones with the equipment in question. Well, without further ado.


I: I've heard of people equating the whole experience as "gettin' down there and lappin' it up." These people are dumb. I hope the women who read this are fortunate enough to not ever happen across guys like this.

In my experience, going down on a woman is more an act of seduction and "priming" -- although it certainly can be (and for me often is) another tool to bring her to a mind-blowing climax.

Regardless of what you're doing, it's all about attitude. I've never met a girl who said "Yo, bury your face in my crotch and goin' already." Not that it wouldn't be an interesting change of pace, but it's never happened to me.

So you need to start by taking things slow. Kiss your lady. In lots of places, I think every girl I've ever dated with loved the neck, especially the upper side, near the ears by the corotid artery. You can kind of feel it and some tendons there if you've got the right spot.

Work your way down, hopefully you know some of your girl's more excitable areas better than I do. But generally if you're getting this far you might not need that detailed of a roadmap. Just in case, some of the important stops on the way would include the shoulders, breasts and nipples, (I like to include the outer sides of the breasts, they often end up neglected for some reason and that tends to make them sensitive) abdominal region, hips - there's a great spot that's a personal favorite of mine on the outer part of the pelvis, sort of where the bone "dips" inward... you'll find it a bit above where the leg joint connects to the hipbone - and the spot right above where things get interesting, or just above where hair would grow if you don't read me. =)

I'll leave it to you guys (and girls) to plot your best route south, as every woman's different and has different excitable points, but that's a good shopping list to start with.


II. So what do you do when you're down there? Well I guess you could just finish her off and be done with it, but where's the fun in that?

I like to tease a bit, personally. More of the lipwork goes to the thighs, on the top and especially the inside. Hopefully you didn't rush yourself getting down here, but if you did, slow the hell down here. Take your time. Not too much time of course, but let her savor the moment. Brush your lips against her outer labia, maybe let the tongue out a little bit - just a little bit. Do a little investigation. Is she ready already? Are you getting the usual auditory cues (heavy breathing, sighs of pleasure, her grumbling "are you going to start or what?!?" -- you don't want that last one. ) What about the tactile clues? I think you know what I'm talking about.

If you think she's ready to go, then I guess go for it. You've got to be able to gauge when she's really primed and ready for your hot tongue action. Another good indication is when she grabs your head and pushes it toward her groin. It is usually a very positive sign. Run with it.


III. So you've got your tongue up inside your lady love; or at least, the lady you love tonight. What now, are you just going to wiggle it around a little bit and pull a Zoidberg? ("Hooray, I'm useful!")

I'd hope not.

So again, every woman is different. Some women are best served with a heapin' helpin' of direct clitoral stimulation, others need you to play around with the other delicate parts of their anatomy and others still just need you to, as James Brown would say, 'get on up' in there. Yes, like a sex machine.

For the first, you want to locate that most delicate and sensitive of places - which you'll find NOWHERE! IT IS ALL A CONSPIRACY! AH HA HAHAHA... sorry. "Upwards" a ways, closer to her front. It's covered by something called the "clitoral hood" so look out for that. What precisely you're looking for is a small bud, a bundle of nerves that for women equals awesome. And I guess for guys too, if you know what's good for you. Light to medium brushes with your tongue is the order of the day, here. As many suggest, trace the alphabet on it with your tongue. Sometimes cursive is good, sometimes print is good. If you REALLY want to get different, do hiragana or kanji. Now THAT'S percussion! Also, with your tongue on the clitoris, do some humming. Something deep, the deeper your voice is the better off you are. The vibration from your vocal cords does some awesome stuff. As an aside, I am a baritone. =)

If you're going the other route, I'm guessing she needs a lighter touch. Dedicate your efforts to the caressing of the outer and inner lips, maybe let yourself slip a little inside her inner opening, and more or less follow some of the same tricks as outlined above. Take advantage of her 'separation' and give equal attention to each 'side,' let your tongue slide lazily along each part of her labia and other delicates.

Finally, if you're just going to make like you're scooping out a canneloni or something, be sure to include some of the tactics from the previous two mentioned items. I don't know what else to tell you - if she wants it rough, do it, man.


Again, a good indication that you're doing things right are the heavy breathing, moans & sighs of pleasure and of course the grabbing of your head and shoving into the crotch. Look for these signs of success and you too will be able to say that you served proudly under Colonel Lingus!


Hope that was worthwhile, folks. Please, add on to it, if I missed anything!

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Right next to the mashed potatoes.

lady

How about finishing her off and going again?

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Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt.

GoldenOuroboros

lol Lady..

I've read sooo much stuff across the net it's not funny...

I wanted to be 'ready' for the moment when I first had to do this.. it musta been good.. she curled up in the foetal position while she had her big O.. hehe.. good stuff..

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Averett

Can you come over and clean the hot chocolate I just spit all over my monitor? Hilarious!

Good guide though. Sigh. Whats this sex thing again? It's been too long

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G_Lock

Thanks Meta. Very detailed guide, cuz every little bit counts when you are down there.

mtsgsd

Good advice! I'll add a little more:

Learn to read your partner's reactions. Everyone is different, so the same thing does not work for everyone. For ex. iff she wants more stimulation she'll press herself up against you and vice versa. Pay attention to this. I'll admit to knowing one or two women that loved non-stop hard pressure and fast licking, but most need you to show a little more imagination than that.

rogue49

Dammit, I had a thread like this in TFP ver. 3.0
All that beautiful information gone.

I add my own 2 cents later.

Meta

Well I kind of figured this was a given. Although some girls need a minute to catch their breath. =)

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There's room for all God's creatures.
Right next to the mashed potatoes.

*Nikki*

It is very importent that a man be skilled in this department.

Without it, I don't think I would enjoy sex half as much.

The importent thing is to listen to your woman. Every woman likes it done in a different way. Some slow, some fast, some hard, some soft. Me, I like some of everything!! I am interested to read what some of you guys have to say. A lot of men think that they are not good at oral and this prevents them from doing it. I don't think it is possible to be bad at it.

With a little direction anyone can eat like a champ.

lady

The way I see it, the only way it can be bad is if you bite, are timid or unenthusiastic, or if you don't do it at all.

__________________
Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt.

rogue49

all I can say is...
Yum.

ok, that not all I can say (really, rogue?)
Personally, I would prefer to give a woman pleasure, than recieve.
Oral sex is an art,
and empathy is your brush. (well, actually your tongue...but you know what I mean?)

Seriously, play, experiment, enjoy
but listen, feel, watch, taste, smell...use ALL the senses
even that "sixth" sense...you're "feeling" your partner...you've become a part of their pleasure.
Their pleasure is yours.

This is the MOST important aspect to develop.
Techniques are good for a start, but they are not the end.
Like the "ABC's" where you spell out the alphabet on her clit with your tongue (each lady had a different favorite letter.)
But start soft, increase the tension, tease the area, use your fingers at the same time.

It's all good...but you have to sense how your partner is reacting,
focus on her pleasure,
believe it or not, it will increase your experience,
both skill & passion.

Hard8s

I've been told I'm good at taking direction. I'm ready for your direction, Nikki!

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soopadoopa

Well, we've been married for six years now, and I think this is probably my weakest area. She tells me it's good, but it just doesn't show. Namely in how long it takes. I can start off really well and feel as if I'm doing alright (maybe 15 minutes), but it takes F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Naturally, the longer I go, the weaker and more numb my tongue gets. She's more of the first type of girl. Tongue directly on the man in the boat, but not the tip of the tongue. Her laying back and me on my stomach makes that kinda hard. I REALLY LIKE 69, but as far as she goes, she'd rather me help with BOB and just a little licking. I could devour her on the other hand. Please help. I wanna be able to do for her what she does for me.

raeanna74

Another couple things I might add is that
#1. Sucking on the clit is good. I do this to lots of women I'm with and they love it. I have always enjoyed it done to me too.

#2. Definately use your fingers. I like a little finger penetration and I personally use it for other women I'm with. I can't seem to get my tougue out there enough to get it in her much.

#3. Possibly another thought that might helps is to imagine you are eating an icecream cone. (Unless your the kind that bite the icecream - in that case only do this if you know your woman likes teeth down there.) Its the same kind of upward lick that drives me crazy.

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tritium

lol. The funny thing is, I'm a virgin. I've read about a million of these things, and have no basis for an opinion other than the thousands of options presented in these "how to" guides. I have managed to rationalize it down to one thing, however -- hit the clit.

Not sure how I would recommend it all to a woman other than to remind her that the first inch of penis is the most sensitive. Deep throating is cool and all, but it's not much better than hitting the first inch hardcore (pun intended).

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Blah.

QuasiMojo

Ok
I'm not with anyone right now so talking about this sucks.
haHaa.

I'm only gonna say this once so write this down because i won't be surprised if this sacred information isn't deleted within 24 hours of my posting. (!)

To give your lovely one the carnal gift that keeps on giving you must adhere to a three point plan

1) Start fucking in the most intimate fashion-missionary with a full lip lock tongue sucking soul embrace-breathing for each other.
blow your load deep inside her.

2)Head South M'man...slowly. surely. with resolve.
follow her lead...and when she starts to moan...for GODS SAKE don't stop doin' what yer doin'!
keep on keepin' on
You'll know when yer done.

3)....and thirdly, Get 'im up and get 'im in 'er
once again.

A good time will have been had by all.
say it again.

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AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

Meta

Oh man, I can't believe I forgot these. That's what happens when you write long posts at 2am, you forget things. =)

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There's room for all God's creatures.
Right next to the mashed potatoes.

QuasiMojo

******************************

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AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

MacGnG

ya learn something everyday, and maybe even 2 things a day

this WILL be put to good use soon

Tuffy_McGee

This guide sounds a lot more like my style.
Good Job!
I see all these weird things like doing the alphabet and shit.
I dont' want to count my abc's while having sex!

Charlatan

As for fingers... I can say that my wife does not like fingers.
1) "I don't use them when I masturbate..."
2) "I don't want your fingers I want your cock..."

Who am I to argue? Well.. actually...

Last weekend I tied her to the bed and used both my fingers in her and alternated on her clit with a pocket rocket and my tongue... I didn't hear any complaints as I brought her shamelessly to orgasm after orgasm... heh heh heh

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soopadoopa

Good info. I will have to try this and report back. See ya in an hour.

Meta

Is it that complicated for you? To "count" your letters? You need more than just this guide, mac.

I suggest:

__________________
There's room for all God's creatures.
Right next to the mashed potatoes.

Astrocloud

Hear! Hear!

First of all going down on a girl is like an intoxicating drug. This is why it's so important that the chemistry works. The communication between partners is verbal, physical, pheronic, and pheromonal.

I like to start by keeping my hand on my girls belly. Sometimes you can gauge her reactions by how her body undulates. But like I said there is obvious chemical communication going on too.

This is more like an art than it is a clear set of tools in a practice. You have to 'feel' whats the best thing is to do.

Somtimes I lick around the labia before plunging my tongue into the vagina. Sometimes I just make soft circles around the clit. Sometimes I make quick transitions between the different actions. Sometimes the the transitions are smooth and slow. Sometimes there are no transitions... Whatever the specific action, understand that it's really an act of communication.


I really could go on here. But I think you get the point.

fckm

fingers are a definate plus, or so I've found. What I like to do is use my forefinger and gentle stroke just inside. use my fingertip to go up and down gently while using my tongue elsewhere. ex used to love that. ... *sniff*

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Then what's to stop us, pretty baby. But What Is And What Should Never Be.

QuasiMojo

Are you rubbing it in?!

I certainly hope so!!!!
HaHeeee

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AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

soopadoopa

Well, sorry to report that this technique didn't help me much. Although it was great, the tongue work inbetween wasn't accepted well. She said it was too sensitive, and i don't doubt it. I've never seen it so swollen. Hmmm. Back to the trenches.

FallenAvatar

What was too sensitive, some women are different then others. Some can take full pressure on their clit, others need that little layer of hood, other can be really sensitive and need to be pleasured just around the clit itself, but never actually need to touch it.

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Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.

torgone

The above is true. For some, direct contact is not good. Also, don't forget that you still have hands. Paying attention to other sensitve areas at the same time can highten her pleasure.

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mb99usa

My wife used to not like my going down on her. After our second child she is much more into and has asked for me to on sevral occassions.

I myself have always loved it. The use of hands cannot be overlooked. I like to play with her breasts and nipples while working my tongue magic.

My wife is also into anal play so the hands will drift there as well.

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So, what's your point?

It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

meff

I also enjoy eating my wife out on the couch and putting my arms up to play with her nipples.. It's very sexy

I've yet to see anyone talk about the g-spot whilst eating your girl out yet.. for a quick basic guide, put your finger up her and make a hook 'up' and you'll be there

Good luck.

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Dilbert1234567

thanks, now i just need some practice

Volunteers?

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davik

It obviously varies alot girl to girl; alot of you have talked about lightly licking the clit, but for my current girlfriend it really comes down to using about as much force as I can put into my tongue (and I've definitely developed some new strength in that area in the time we've been together). However, before you even get to driving her to the finish line play around a little, nibble where you feel like it, stick your tongue up in her, run your hands around. Even after you've started going for the clit don't just do that, occasionally lick down, put your tongue in her, play around (tease her some :P ), stick a finger or two in her, and if you're both in to it you can use a finger for a little anal play while you're at it.

Basically vary it up, pay attention to her cues, and be creative.

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mydragonfido

There is nothing better than a man that takes the time to learn this trade!! As this is the best way for me to achieve orgasm!!

kifferfong

Great stuff. Dammit, wish i had someone to try it on now :P

mistered

As the great Sam Kinnison used to say ... LICK THAT ALPHABET! LICK IT!!!!! AINGHHHHHH!!!!

Rlyss

My partner says one of two things:

a) It tickles too much.
b) I don't want your fingers or your tongue in me, I want your dick.

She's not into the oral sex part. To her sex is my dick inside her vagina and any oral is just for a bit of a laugh before we get to the real stuff.

But I still try

Aladdin Sane

When I'm down my wife's gotta have a finger inside, so I ablige. Once I get her really wet and hot, I make it for the g-spot. I know you guys know what I'm talking about-- I love it when that gush of wetness comes and things begin to swell. Wow that is sexy.

Girls, do you really like to have your clit sucked? Just wondering.

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musaicmon

agree with davik, various strokes fer various gals, but mixing it up is always good

txlovely

It's bad when they rub like they're trying to take off the sticky from one of those stubborn pricetags... too much pressure, too much back and forth, just too much! Gently builds us up but one too hard rub will send us into excruciating pain and make us wonder why we let you anywhere near there...