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Old 10-06-2003, 01:16 PM   #81 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by flutter_girl
my friend was 9 when she lost her virginity....
Does no one else see a problem with that? Jeeez...she should be playing Barbies, and selling Girls Scout cookies...not getting laid. And before I rant any further...I assume that it was a mutual consentual kinda thing? It wasn't forced? If it WAS consentual...what was the age of her partner? Not that I suppose that matters.
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Old 10-06-2003, 02:12 PM   #82 (permalink)
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I'd say maybe 16 or 17. Depends on the girl.
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Old 10-07-2003, 07:09 PM   #83 (permalink)
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16 is as low as I will go at 19. And did so last weekend. My friend had a party and his sister's young, tanned little girlfriend was all up in my shit the second she walked in. What am I gonna do, tell her no?
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Old 10-08-2003, 04:10 AM   #84 (permalink)
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Anything under 18 is too young. Except, apparently, in Romania.
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Old 10-08-2003, 10:13 PM   #85 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nitro
International comparisons don't make much sense here I guess.
This is more a question of what each one of us thinks should be a legal or reasonable age.
I think it's quite relevant. This is the *world* wide web. People from different countries read this site. To assume everyone is from the same place as you would be incorrect. Furthermore, people on tfp often don't fill in their profile and you have no clue where they're from. So I'm just trying to point out the fact that it's not just the people from whatever country it is you're from, it's an internationally accessed site. It's not that I'm comparing.

Quote:
Originally posted by hparcins
What am I gonna do, tell her no?
It's always an option to say no, unless for whatever reason it puts your life or others in danger. I hardly doubt that was the case, though.
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Old 10-10-2003, 09:43 PM   #86 (permalink)
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Indeed, she threatened to murder my family if I did not have sex with her. And so, I did. It was sacrifice that needed to be made.
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Old 10-22-2003, 01:39 PM   #87 (permalink)
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I lost my virginity at 12 and had my first period at age 10. I was one of the hot 14 yr olds bebotting around the mall. The guys that slept with me at the time claim I acted and looked older than my age. I really think they say that to make themselves feel better about what they are doing because they were so much older than me. No matter how smart a young kid seems they are still emotionally immature. Now that I'm actually legal I feel totally disgusted by those people, knowing they were willing to screw a little kid technically.

Also tip for the guys, old guys checking out young girls, is totally gross! We would call those pervs. Chester the Molestor.
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Old 10-22-2003, 02:56 PM   #88 (permalink)
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I think that the consenting age in the US being 18 works out well when you compare it to the other priveleges...if only they would move drinking to 18 as well. But the way these girls are developing, I wouldn't be outraged if they moved it down to 17. Then again, there are psychological factors involved, so to avoid complications, I would leave it at 18.
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Old 10-22-2003, 03:12 PM   #89 (permalink)
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I'm not very experienced sexually, so maybe I'm missing something, but what exactly does everyone mean by "emotional maturity?" I can understand wanting a relationship with someone of a certain mental "level" or whatever, but sex alone is much simpler. Stick A into B. Repeat. Birth control and worrying about diseases are the only "mature" things I can think of, and these are really not very complex.
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Old 10-22-2003, 09:17 PM   #90 (permalink)
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Speaking from personal experience, 6 years old is definitely too young. Before ya'll start stoning me, know that I was the unfortunate 6 year old in that situation.

I think that because of my early life experiences and the issues that it caused in my life that I am particularly sensitive to age when it comes to sex. I think a girl or boy at age 16 *can* be mature enough to decide to have sex but only if it's with someone close to their age. The fumblings of youth can be ok to go through with someone at the same age but if it's someone older then I see it as taking advantage of someone who's mentally undeveloped.

No matter how developed their body might be, their brain still needs a little work.

18, well, whatever floats your boat. It's legal and all that. Though, I think it's still easy to take advantage of the innocence of youth and immaturity at that point.

Course, all that being said, I still will do a double take at a good midriff, even if it's someone young-ish looking. It takes a moment for my higher brain functioning to kick in and go 'oh hey, stop that'.
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Old 10-23-2003, 06:59 AM   #91 (permalink)
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Sorry, even 18 years olds are too young for me these days.
When I start seeing them act, how they talk, move, etc.
Just are little girls still...they are going to be changing SO much in the next years.

I guess I have to relate to a woman mentally on a certain level.
That's why I'm only really attracted to who are 25+.
MAYBE I would go for someone younger by a few years than that.
But she'd have to have her head on straight.

I like more curves usually, how a mature woman holds herself,
and is comfortable with herself.

I'd say the youngest I'd be interested in would be 21,
I need them to be able to hang with me.

And visually, that's what goes for me too.

Last edited by rogue49; 10-23-2003 at 07:02 AM..
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Old 10-23-2003, 10:10 AM   #92 (permalink)
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It really all depends on the age of the person answering this question.

Im 18, so obviously I would not limit the age of my g/f to the same standards as rogue, above (25+). If I were to do that, Id be pretty lonely.

Age is relative, and it really isnt that important. What matters is how old you are in your mind, and this has already been noted.

btw, Vyk your post says 6 years old, not 16 on the first line...

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Old 11-08-2003, 06:04 PM   #93 (permalink)
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Being attracted to girls who are under the age of 18 is not wrong - it's built into our brains. We're monkeys, that's the deal.

But not being a responsible monkey IS wrong.

The number is there, the law is there. Agree or disagree on your own terms, but realize that there are reprecussions for your actions.

If you don't do time, you still might fuck someone up sexually for a long, long time. I've dated a few girls who had sex as young as thirteen (with guys I later had to hurt), and it does some real damage to a girl to take on adult responsibilities and roles that early.

Bad shit.

That said - my first sexual experience was at the tender age of 15 with a young lady a year older than me.

We were young and stupid and in love. Fortunately we were smart enough to use protection.

At the time it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I don't particularly think that it was wrong nowadays. Would I boff a a sixteen year old today? Hell no. Would I boff a twenty year old? Probably not.

If she ain't legal to drink, she ain't ready to make a decision like about me sticking my dick in her holiest of holies.

That's just my two cents.
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Old 11-08-2003, 06:10 PM   #94 (permalink)
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That's the noblest thing I've ever heard, hparcins.

*grin*

Funnist thing I've read all day, too. Kudos.
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Old 11-09-2003, 12:50 AM   #95 (permalink)
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When I was 16 I dated a 26 year old. I made the choice not to have sex with him. I wasn't sure I wa mature enough to handel things going bad and keep my grades together. The irony is that that is the kind of thinking that would suggest I was mature enough. As it was I waited untill I was 20.

I would have to disagree that girls are looking older then they have in the past. I think Aral (sp?)Flynn would disagree as well. They might be dressing more provocatively due to media influence, but, they don't really understand who sexually suggestive they are.Lolita was just a young girl who didn't get that Humbert was thinking dirty thoughts about her, she was just a child trying to get her way.
With that,18 is an age where mind and body tend to meet
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Old 11-20-2003, 10:59 AM   #96 (permalink)
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there are two diffinitive things that govern whether things are right or wrong:

a-age gap, if a 18 year old was going out with 15/16, it would be seen as acceptable, but even 20 with 16 is seen as a strech. fortunatly that only works from male to female, otherwise me and mf g/f would be screwed...

b-maturity, i know 13 year old girls who can hold down an argument with a 60 year old philosiphy teacher, and 19 year olds who get confused by shiney things. if a girl is mature enough to understand how things will affect her e.t.c then things do change than if she's just playing with barbie.

although it's probably been said before, those two things will usually govern everyone who isn't a townie/rude boy/pikey decisions.

it's all relevant, and depending on the type of relations, if it's just holding hands, then most people would accept a lot younger, but if sexual relations of any kind are involved, then things get a lot more tricky.
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Old 11-20-2003, 01:37 PM   #97 (permalink)
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Hopefully it has been established that just because a female has begun menstruating, it does not mean she's ready for sex. I started at 8 - I didn't even know what sex was. Why some men think this is an adequate sign of maturity I will never understand. A 16 with a 16 or 17 year old is entirely different than a 16 with a 36 or 46 year old.
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Old 02-03-2004, 09:21 AM   #98 (permalink)
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Alright -- here is my rule of thumb:

I will not date anyone who is younger than 1/2 my age +7. Try it out on yourself. Seems to work. So for me that would be 33/2+7 when rounded up -- 24.
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Old 02-03-2004, 09:47 AM   #99 (permalink)
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YO GUYS!!! LISTEN UP!!! My daughter? Yeah...too young. Grrrr
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Old 02-03-2004, 10:09 AM   #100 (permalink)
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This thread makes me feel kind of uncomfortable, I think it is very difficult for me to rationally have a discussion with someone who is my age or older and is saying they are attracted to a 14 year old... So I guess I'll just leave all that part.

For me, the age of consent in the UK is 16, but I wouldnt consider sleeping with anyone under the age of 18 - and although I can objectively tell that, for example, Mary Kate Olsen is very pretty, I probably wouldnt tend to be attracted to people who appear to be that age.
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Old 02-03-2004, 10:11 AM   #101 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
26 (well, Im 26 tomorrow and it is divisble by 2)

so...

(26/2)+7=20

That sounds pretty fair. Good rule, man!
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Old 02-03-2004, 10:19 AM   #102 (permalink)
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When I was 19 I dated a girl for a few weeks. She was as horny as it gets. She was taller than me, had a huge rack and was fairly intelligent. I was shocked when found out later that the reason she didn't have a drivers license wasn't because they had been taken away. She was 15. Nearly shat myself. I had no idea.
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Old 02-03-2004, 10:34 AM   #103 (permalink)
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i don't think it really matters if the person is physically mature enough or not. though i do agree that kids are maturing way too fast these days. but i think the important thing here is emotional and mental maturity. my body was sexually matured when i was like 16....i had large boobs, a nice round butt, nice legs...but i wasn't ready for sex. and i think so many youngsters out there falsely convince themselves that they are ready for sex, when actually they're not.
if the teen is mature enough then there's nothing wrong with having sex, though i do think it's wrong for someone who's way older (who knows better) to take advantage of a situation like that.
i'm glad the law says 18 is the limit.
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Old 02-03-2004, 12:55 PM   #104 (permalink)
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I dont know its just amazing to see how far we have come. Watching shows on TV growing up with Little House on the Prarrie seeing those girls engaged at the age of 15 married at 16 and pregnant at the age of 17.
Where as now girls are getting pregnant at 13 14 years old and people are calling them sluts and tramps.
Its the way they are being brought up the tv shows are showing more and more sexually active teens and even though they are doing the well you shouldnt do this they arent hearing it. I cant say much I was 14 almost 15 when I became active. Even though I regret it now. I personally think that the age of concent should be 16 any younger should be concidered rape doesnt matter how old the partner is.
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Old 02-03-2004, 02:27 PM   #105 (permalink)
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For me i would say 16 - 17. Its true that girls are a lot more mature these days than they were even when i was in high school (only 6 years ago).
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Old 02-03-2004, 02:31 PM   #106 (permalink)
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I'm 19, my girlfriend is 17. That's young enough for me.

I do believe any grown up man (say, 25+) should stick to 18 and older, if only out of self-respect. When I hear stories here and there of thirteen- or fourteen-year old girls doing it with guys in their thirties, I'm fucking disgusted.

Funny how pedophilia can make even the most open-minded people feel very uncomfortable.
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Old 02-03-2004, 03:20 PM   #107 (permalink)
* * *
 
I define too young by a measure of maturity and autonomy. I know a few 25-year-olds that are too young for me. When being older turns into a major power advantage, that means that you're too old for him/her. To come up with an exact number certainly doesn't take into account anything, but I will say that it is likely that girls in high school are not ready for sex on a psychological level. But, given societal norms and whatnot, that doesn't mean it isn't going to happen. 18 may be an arbitrary number our society uses to help deal with this gap and the power issues, and I'm generally fine with it. I certainly am not going to be looking for anyone that young. And the truth be told, if you want someone younger than that you're going to have to handle it maturely or else you will get caught and burned pretty badly. Passing that test means that either you've found someone who's mature enough, or that you've totally dominated the younger person. I would hope that the latter circumstance would happen a lot less than I think it does.
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Old 02-03-2004, 04:40 PM   #108 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jack Ruby
I'm 19, my girlfriend is 17. That's young enough for me.

I do believe any grown up man (say, 25+) should stick to 18 and older, if only out of self-respect. When I hear stories here and there of thirteen- or fourteen-year old girls doing it with guys in their thirties, I'm fucking disgusted.

Funny how pedophilia can make even the most open-minded people feel very uncomfortable.
I know someone that works in a teen pregnancy center. Girls come in all the time at 12 to 14 years old pregnant. 99% of the time its not a 13 year old guy that is the father , its someone more like 23. Just something to think about.

I think this question is pretty easy, anything younger than the legal age is too young. For me, even having sex with the most gorgeous girl in the world is not worth risking going to jail over. And when it comes down to it would you really do it? I know I can see a nice looking 16 or 17 year old and say , wow shes cute. But when it came down to it , I would feel dirty doing anything with them.
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Old 02-03-2004, 05:17 PM   #109 (permalink)
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Well I personally couldn't date a chick younger than 18 and I am 22. Most girls under 18 are annoying and don't know what they want ( I said MOST, not all).

BUT on the other hand, there definetely are some hot 16/17 year olds out there. Would I ever do anything with them? No. Does that stop me from staring at them on the beach? NO.
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Old 02-04-2004, 12:45 AM   #110 (permalink)
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I have a friend who will be 16 in a few months, and I'm 21. I've known her for 3 years, and we're almost like bf/gf, but we desided to wait a few more years. me and our friends think she's pretty mature mental wise, for her age. neither of us plan on having sex until we're married, but still don't want to cause any problems. I might talk to her parents about asking her out when she's 17.

it sickens me seeing 14 year old girls at the mall covered with more makeup then cloths. in 20 or 30 years, I would never let my kids look like that, no matter how the rest of the world's children dress.
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Old 02-04-2004, 12:46 AM   #111 (permalink)
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Note.. maturity as a mental state is different from maturity of a physical state. A girl could be 16 and FULLY Mature physically but that doesn't men she is mentally mature enough to make the decissions about sex.
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Old 02-04-2004, 12:47 AM   #112 (permalink)
* * *
 
Quote:
Originally posted by FallenAvatar
Note.. maturity as a mental state is different from maturity of a physical state. A girl could be 16 and FULLY Mature physically but that doesn't men she is mentally mature enough to make the decissions about sex.
You can say that again.

In fact, you should put it on a billboard, right next to any beer ad.
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Old 02-04-2004, 02:39 AM   #113 (permalink)
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I'm still considered young by most at 24.

That being said, I'm finally going to college after taking a few years off to work, and being around 18-22 year olds all the time, I'll say this:

I started dating my girlfriend over 4 years ago, I was 20, she was 17. She was mature for her age, smart, all around awesome. However, our relationship has taken lots and lots of work in order to stay as healthy as it's been over the past 4 years. The age difference was fairly minor in the early stages of our relationship, in fact, she was more experienced than I was in most ways, so while there was an age difference of 3 years, there was a general maturity difference of very little. That was how our relationship was able to work.

That being said, there was a discrepancy of life experience that made our relationship very difficult at times. I had done the drinking and partying thing when I was her age, and so when she was starting to get into that, I was already done. Source of conflict

Overall, I'd say that there are always special cases. 999/1000 times, I would say that someone 25 should never even think to date someone 16-17, but there's always some relationship that could prove that wrong.

Because I'm back in college, I'm working a part time disposable retail job. Most of my co-workers are 16-20, so I get hit on a lot by my younger co-workers. They know I'll laugh it off because I'm in a committed relationship, but attraction between men and women is natural, so they like to toy with me and tell me how they feel to make me crazy.

Now the hormonal responses make my body go, "hey, she's hot... if you were single, you should hook that up." but my brain retorts, "Are you crazy?? As hot as a mature, smart, intelligent, legal (16 is the age of consent in NV) gorgeous girl is, I have absolutely no desire to deal with the differences and difficulties that would be involved in such a relationship."

In the simplest terms, I've met and known 16 year olds that could handle relationships with older people, and I've met older people who have younger maturity levels and who would therefore be better matched with younger mates. But its usually only matched within a small number of years. 16 dating 19 maybe, 18 dating 22 maybe, but I highly doubt I'll ever meet the couple with an age diffence of 10 years, where one party is still in High school, that seems to make sense.

My 2 cents...
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Old 02-04-2004, 03:11 AM   #114 (permalink)
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Quote:
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and I've met older people who have younger maturity levels and who would therefore be better matched with younger mates.
I kinda took offence to that cuz I know I joke around with my friends too much, but so be it. you're only young once, so I'm making sure I'm happy thru it. I guess that's why me and my friend get along so well. cuz we're both always picking on each other.
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Old 02-04-2004, 03:28 AM   #115 (permalink)
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Originally posted by troit
I will not date anyone who is younger than 1/2 my age +7. Try it out on yourself. Seems to work. So for me that would be 33/2+7 when rounded up -- 24.

A friend of mine uses the same rule. I think it works nicely.

When I was younger, I always said I'd wait until I was married to have sex. When I got to be about 17, though, I started thinking "well, okay, what if I don't get married until I'm 30?" so it was amended to "wait until you're in love and emotionally ready." That didn't happen until I was 18.

I recently found out that my cousin, who is 15, is having sex. I definitely think that's too young; the guy, who is 16-17 immediately broke up with her after finding out she was grounded, so he could go have sex with someone else. Yikes.

Another friend of mine, who is 20, pretty much only dates high school girls. I didn't think much about it until we were out one night, and he was literally drooling over the 14 and 15 year olds. I couldn't help but feel disgusted.

And to answer the original question--I think 18 is the limit. There are always exceptions, of course, and it depends on your own age, but as a rule, 18. *nods*
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Old 02-04-2004, 09:17 AM   #116 (permalink)
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into the balliwick i jump.
from my perspective (40 yr old bi-kinky-perv)
girls:
most of the ones interact w/ in my line of work (retail) while many are pretty (or drop dead HAWT), the emotional maturity just ai'nt there. (what I call 'pretty body, ugly attitude) and while they may have the 'mechanics' of sex down, I believe there is NO substitute for experience (what works, what does'nt), which tends to only come from growing up. That, and concidering my 'baggage' (see the "scenes from a journey" thread elsewhere in this forum), many of the girls that i 've run across would seem to be unable, in the words of Jack Nicholson to handle "The truth...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" In reality, for many years, neither could I.

guys:
it's a little different (yeah, a double standard, lash me w/ the wet noodle ) the age/maturity notions are the same as girls, but there is also them being 'open to the possibility' of sex. the majority are'nt, some are.

Funny thing, back eons ago (the Pleistocene Epoch, if memory serves), i used to think that one of the coolest things would be to take the 'cherry' of someone (either m/f). Now, today i'm not really sure i'd want that awesome responsibility.

That's how i see it, from my seat behind the thick post (Norm Nathan)
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Old 02-04-2004, 10:14 AM   #117 (permalink)
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There is nothing concrete about sexuality for anyone. Deciding ages of consent is completly arbitrary. If a 15 year old, and a 23 year old are in a relationship, as long as no parents disagree, then society and the state have no right to intervene.

You cannot argue that children of any age are not curious about their bodies, or others. You cannot argue that children will not develop their own sexuality, independently. You cannot argue that they will not have sex. Neither can you argue that they should not.

You cannot make decisons for people, as long as they have some degree of freedom.

You can only give children, teenagers, and adults the tools to make smart decisions about sex and relationships. You can only attempt to protect children, teenagers, and adults from rape, and manipulation.
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Old 02-04-2004, 11:27 AM   #118 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by mattsoft
I have a friend who will be 16 in a few months, and I'm 21. I've known her for 3 years, .....

it sickens me seeing 14 year old girls at the mall covered with more makeup then cloths. in 20 or 30 years, I would never let my kids look like that, no matter how the rest of the world's children dress.
Man not to judge, but you should not be judging anyone elce. Youve got to be kidding about the girl, you started being "friends" when you were 18 and she was 13 . You then go on to say that you are such a good guy for "waiting" until she is 18 until you can get married, You shoudlent be thinking about 13 year olds in that way in the first place. What kind of a person at 18 wants anything to do with a 13 year old girl
???
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Old 02-04-2004, 01:15 PM   #119 (permalink)
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I was discussing a girlfriend with my mom one time, and I mentioned something about how she calls a friend of mine, Mr. Jones, instead of by his first name like I do. She interrupted me by saying, that was a good indication that she was too young to go out with!!!
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Old 02-04-2004, 04:33 PM   #120 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by 89transam
Man not to judge, but you should not be judging anyone elce. Youve got to be kidding about the girl, you started being "friends" when you were 18 and she was 13 . You then go on to say that you are such a good guy for "waiting" until she is 18 until you can get married, You shoudlent be thinking about 13 year olds in that way in the first place. What kind of a person at 18 wants anything to do with a 13 year old girl
???

sorry, I didn't say that part too clear. we didn't even know we liked each other for 2 years after I met her. and when I talk about marrage, I don't mean her. I just mean whoever I marry oneday, if I do get married. me and her don't talk or think about things like that. we barely even talk about going out oneday.

I only have one friend who's my age. he's about 6 months younger them me. I have a bunch of friends who are around the ages 15 to 18. (not all girls either) my one friend is 16 now, and we were like best friends online, until he stopped coming online. and I have a good friend at my church who is the pastors son. he's 15. his brother is 25. I'm friends with him too, but I don't hang around him a lot. I dunno.. I can't help who my friends are.
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