ninety09

What do you guys think about the "no sex before marriage" thing?

How would you react if your bf/gf would believe in that?

mongo

My wife and I didn't make it to that part...lol...We now have a son who's great.I think it's great if people want to abstain untill marriage.More power to them.I was never so righteous myself....I can't help but think that if they do wait that there might be a letdown when it actually does happen.There would have to be time spent thinking about what it will be like.What if it's not nearly what was expected?....I can see how that might cause a little problem with the relationship.Just my thoughts.

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davidc209

I guess it depends what the reasoning is. Moral? Religious?

Sex and physical contact has always played a major role in all of my previous and current relationships, so I'm sure that I couldn't wait until marriage. Sex plays a major role in most long term relationships. How can you really know that you're compatible with a person without taking it to that level of intimacy???

When a girlfriend proposes waiting until marriage, it might make you marry her more hastily then you would otherwise, which is most likely a bad thing.

If it's safe sex, consentual, and you have real feelings for the person, why wait????

The_Dude

i dont think i'd ever get married to somebody like that.
(and that's not just cuz they wont have sex)

if they wont have sex be4 marriage = they're very deeply religious = way too conservative.

no way i can get married to somebody like that.

unless they have another moral reason, i'm cool w/ it as long as they're not conservative overall.


i'm just looking for an open-minded liberal person.

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TaLoN

you have to take the car for a test drive before you buy it

JStrider

if thats what someone wants thats great...
i on the other hand never felt any need to wait for marriage... just to wait for a good, and caring long term relationship...

in sex ed classes the teacher always told us virginity/sex was like a rose.... at first you have a full flower... but everytime you have sex before marriage a pedal is pulled off... so by the time you get married all you have left for your wife/husband is a bare stem....
i thought that was total bs... premarital sex lets you learn about yourself and learn about sex... youll be better at pleasing your partner if your more experienced...

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ninety09

Thanks for the replies.

Well, here's my situation. At first, not having sex didn't bother me, but now I'm starting to loose patience... I mean, I'm not a pervert... but I really do love her and therefore would like to sleep with her.

She says its for moral reasons, but won't really give any details..

I don't want to force her, but on the other hand don't want to have to wait years =O

toxic515

not having sex before marriage can be rather detrimental. It really can cause a great deal of problems to be in a relationship where your sexual appetite is dussimilar. Fact is, it doesn't much matter if you want it once a day, a week, or a year, so long as your partner wants it at about the same amount of time and about the same time. I think it's important to look at the religious aspect of it with some understanding... Some things don't scale, and some things dont last. Meaning.. 2000 years ago, and considerably more recently, women were property. Right or wrong today being irrelivent, at that time, that's how it was. This required certain sexual mores and traditions simply for the survival of the community. Currently, that is not the case. Sex with a mans daughter no longer puts him at such risk of having to raise a strange man's child, and makes the daughter almost un marryable (bad word, but it's all I got),

You get the idea, so religion has only the value here that an individual gives it. Certainly if you are going to feel bad or guilty about that, you should probably not do it. But on the other hand, it is the judgement of the person in the situation who gets to make that call, not the judgement of the observers.

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sierra2774

If you really want to be with the person, you will do it...But I would not hold out for that...Just my opinion.

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shotofgmplease

i can't really tell you from experience but just go with your heart man.

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Somenosuke

Being that I am not a religious person, I would prefer someone whose beliefs mirror my own. That would mean sex before marriage is cool. Luckily I'm with someone whose beliefs mirror my own.

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sixate

I wouldn't date a chic if she believed in that. There's no way that I could do that.

HockeyGuy

As an 18 yr old male, I believe that in no sex before marriage, and can I say it's gotta be one of the hardest (excuse the pun) things i've EVER done. Imagine, you and ur gf (or bf depending on sex/preference) arrive home, drunk, she wants it... you have to say no. It's tough. But it's what i believe. Religious yes, and also moral though. Just my 0.02 but i'm nto gonna go against (tell ppl to be different) anyone that believes otehrwise. If you love someone you'll wait. Peace all

HockeyGuy

'If you love someone you'll wait'
I meant, If you love someone you'll respect their beliefs
/should read over post, before posting

livingitup101

In this day and age, you don't find too many people in this situation. It seems that when you start dating someone, you are counting down how many dates you'll need before sleeping with that person. What used to be months, seems to be 2-3 dates now.

I agree with some of the above posts about 'if you love her/him, it's worth the wait'. But what happens if you wait, and you realize that there is no sexual connection b/t this person.

LordEden

I had a girlfriend who had that "I'm not going to do anything before marriage" and would flaunt that she was doing this because she was was christain (I wasn't)... she would get me to that point and then stair at me and get discusted that I wanted her to do something for me. After we broke up (not over the non-sex) she started dating a guy and a month and half later she was banging him everynight. He said "I love you" in 1 month so he got her in the sack. She wasn't waiting for marriage, she was waiting for someone to say "I love you" weither they ment it or not. I could have went that path, I could have said it and not fully ment it, but I didn't, I moved on. Sometimes it's not morals, its just a way to get something out of the other person.
<P>I respected her and her values... I could date a person with those values, but they got to be flexable (LOL) I can't date a prude.

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liquid_dreams

if shes the one then i have to deal wit it but if not its better but i would be sad if i cant have sex before marrage

ForgottenKnight

I don't judge people by their beliefs on this matter. I respect people's right to choose. It's their life and their body. They can do whatever they want with it. Who are we to judge them for it?

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Johnny Rotten

I personally think any adult who decides to not have sex before marriage isn't being honest with themselves about their own, human sexuality.

Besides, there's nothing like a good lay.

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Grondar

I am not religious, but I do want to hold off on sex until I get invovled in a serious, long-term relationship.

I think sex is a special thing, and I do want to save it for the right person.. As corney as that may sound.

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JangoFett72

Back when I was dating, I had a similar thing happen to me like what happened to LordEden. She proclaimed she was very religious and was saving herself for marriage. It was very frustrating, but I respected her wishes. Then she left me for this other guy and I heard that within a month he was slamming her like a screen door in a tornado.

My wife and I didn't wait and I don't think it had any adverse effects on our relationship.

RWE

ninety09, i was in the same boat as you when i was 17/18

i was just starting college when i asked this girl out. after a few months of going out, oral sex (my giving oral to her) was still too uncomfortable for her. this drove me insane; that relationship lasted 11 months, but i probably could've saved both of us a lot of frustration if i had sat down and thought about where my priorities were. I'm not a total perv either, but if i'm not doing too much physically with a girl, i don't see much of a difference between being her boyfriend and just a close friend.

Johnny Rotten: speaking from experience, i think that some people (at least women) could go on indefinitely without sexual urges. the girlfriend i mentioned above had some issues with cleaning herself...suffice to say that i could find blood clots on her pubic hairs frequently. I've speculated that even if she doesn't have any infections, she's too repulsed by the thought of masturbating or anything (as she was with me when i tried to go down on her).

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guthmund

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Antagony

I think sex before marriage is important.

A healthy sexual relationship is absolutely necessary for a married couple to remain happy. With that in mind, we must also realize that people have different types of sexuality.

So basically it's important that a couple discover whether or not they are sexually compatible before getting married.

Just my opinion, of course.

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Dorian_S

I wouldn't have a bf/gf who believed in that

People say that sex is too precious to have before marriage. Bullshit. Your sexual life is too precious for you to run into it blindly.

platypus

I can understand waiting until after the honeymoon before dragging out the rubber sheets and bull whip, but it would be a shame to find out on your wedding night that your new spouse has serious hangups.

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00

Lebell

People are different.

What is right for one person or a couple may not be right for another.

Some people want to wait and I respect that very much. I DO think that promiscuous sex cheapens it (funny to say on a titty board, no?). On the other hand, to me it is a very important part of growing intimate with someone.

I think you just need to examine yourself emotionally and what exactly you want out of this relationship. If this is the ONE, then you can wait. If she isn't then you just want to have sex because you want to have sex.

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synkron

Fuck that noise. Here's what'll happen:

Eventually, things will get so tense between the two of you, problems will begin in the relationship. You'll fight, eventually you'll break up, never having schtooked this girl.

A few weeks or months later, you'll find out she's turned into the neighbourhood gang bang slut, fucking every guy she meets. Except you. You'll fall into a self-questioning fit of despair, wondering why she wouldn't let you bone her, while here she is bonking every loser you know who couldn't even get a date with the raunchiest girl in high school. You'll turn to crack, end up frying your brain, and winding up in a mental institution, drooling all over your shirt and mumbling something about little purple dwarf men.

Save yourself before its too late. Dump her and find a girl who wants to shag.

Cynthetiq

yeah... you can't just kick the tires... you gotta drive it off the lot... maybe even several test drives just to be sure.

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mokle

If you're not sexually compatible, you shouldn't get married. Hence not waiting.

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Atropos4

We didn't wait.....alpha phi was my first....after I moved in with him I still made him wait...little less than a month though ...
my dad always told me "Wait until you know you love the person and that you want to be with them for the rest of your life.." That's what I did....

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Menoman

Abstainence is mostly a christian thing I'd say... I'm an athiest so honestly I don't think its necessary to wait until marriage.

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Liquor Dealer

Several things come to mind - like don't buy a car until you'ven driven it and don't buy a cow when they're giving away milk. I am not being facetious to your question - Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, after going into one of these virgin situations, one or both will have thoughts about what sex with others is like - Am I getting what I should be getting or is this one a total dud. When one does commit to marriage I really believe that it works out for the best when both of them are through experimenting and know that their chosen mate is exactly what they have been looking for. I'm not just blowing smoke - We have been married for 38 years.

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duckduck

For me, I just think farking farks things up. I go by no ring, no ding-a-ling, but to each their own. Maybe it's the chick in me, but sex is something special to me that goes beyond an euphoric feeling. Sounds like uter bull$hit (and, for some, that train of thought would be), but that's how it works for me.

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ND_Ranger

It's really a question of priorities. Is the only reason you're in a relationship to either not get laid or to get laid? The sex/no sex discussion is always such a hot issue, but is that the foundation of your relationship?

One of the primary regrets of my life is that I slept with my first girlfriend. If we had waited, we would be married. Instead, she had a miscarriage and our relationship was destroyed by the resulting miscommunication and anger among other things.

Sex is wonderful thing, but all the sex in the world can't replace the trust and communication that are needed to make a relationiship successful. If you're looking for a good longterm relationship, sex can sit on top of a solid relationship or get in the way of building one, but sex will never build a strong relationship.

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analog

All the regret i've heard so far is over accidents and the like- wear a fucking condom, be safe, and be fine. Love is all-encompasing, and as far as I am concerned, MUST include intimacy. How can you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone you have never been intimate with? I'm not talking about hot horny monkey sex, i'm talking about making love. If the person wants to wait, their motives are probably religious (based on bullshit) or moral (see previous).

hotzot

I had sex with other women before I met my wife. She was a virgin and she didn't want sexual intercourse before we got married. We did have oral sex and mutual masterbation. That held me over for the year and a half we courted. After we got married and had proper intercourse she said she was a fool to have waited. She felt it was a waste of time holding out.

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TRPF

From a clearly statistical point of view-

Those who engage in pre-marital sex are 60% more likely to get divorced.

BoCo

I'm certainly not against it, but I have the feeling my current cutie might be. That's what our hands were invented for, I suppose.

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