little_tippler

I know women will usually talk about how they like sex rough or gentle, and men too. But how rough can your body actually take it?

I have come to the conclusion that I have a pretty fragile, sensitive body, and it has been brought to my attention that this is not the usual for women. Yes, we're all different, and different people are happy with different things, but some things are more or less common.

My body is not happy to be grabbed, pounded, man-handled or squeezed too hard, for too long. It just hurts me! I wish I was a little more resistant but that's the way I'm built.

I like things a little rough, it's exciting...but my delicate body can't take much really. To hear about these other women who, even despite their possibly delicate appearance, don't get hurt as easily, makes me feel rather inadequate. But, overall, I don't like pain during sex.

I was wondering what other women have to say about their own bodies in this respect, and what men have to say about the women they've been with and how rough they were able to get.

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Amaras

Well, I'm 6'1, about 195 lbs and I used to date a girl (Chinese) who was 5'4 and 92 lbs. She too, said she loved it rough.
Fairly quickly we realized that in fact she liked the possibility of danger/roughness.
Liked sex standing up, where I would hold her in the air.
She found doggy style too painful, most of the time.
She would bruise if you breathed on her wrong.
She was a trooper, though, didn't really complain. More just "ouch, not for me!".

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ngdawg

Mine is very sensitive. The isn't place on me that isn't ticklish; clitoral orgasm even tickles, then it hurts before climax. Most times, I'd rather forego it, otherwise I have to "suffer" through the preliminaries. And I really HATE being tickled-it's painful to me and the laughter is involuntary. It took me years to convince the spouse of this.
The upside of being sensitive to touch is that I really get off through nipple stimulation
I like fast and furious sex, but now that I'm "old", it can't start off that way anymore
The pain is excruciating.
I don't think you're all that unusual in this regard, LT. Some women like the torture because of various reasons, not the least of which it feels so good when it stops.

abaya

I suppose my body is rather short and stout, and I've always been pretty active and beat up my body in a lot of sports and physical activities growing up, so it's not surprising that this carries over into my sex life. I also have a fairly high pain threshhold, so if it's something I really want to do, I don't think about the pain very much. I've also trained myself to not be ticklish (my dad used to tickle me like CRAZY when I was a kid, which taught me how to NOT be ticklish, haha)... ktsp is way more ticklish than I am, actually. We have non-sexual, throw-down wrestling matches with each other often, where we get quite rough and have a lot of fun man/woman-handling each other.

With sex, as long as I'm not on my period, I tend to like it as rough as he can give it... I love taking a good pounding, especially with a lot of force on my thighs or ass. I like being thrown and moved around into various positions. When I'm on my period, that doesn't change, but my cervix can be quite sensitive if he goes too deep... so not quite as much pounding goes on during those few days, unfortunately (and I have to stay in one position, to keep the mess to a minimum). But the slow, smooth, and careful movements can be very hot, as well.

The only other thing that can be a little painful sometimes is when I am not quite wet enough (it takes a long time for me to warm up, more than either of us has patience for, most of the time), and we can't be bothered to grab the lube... so then it can hurt a bit going in. But that lasts for only a couple of seconds, and then I'm fine.

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Peaches

I consider myself to be sensitive, but not delicate. I have found a direct correlation between how much roughness I enjoy and my level of arousal. I don't care to be man-handled roughly at the beginning, when we first start. I like for it to build as the level of arousal goes up. When fully aroused, my body is happy to be grabbed, pounded, man-handled or squeezed .

That being said, it's a fine line between pleasure and pain and everyone draws that line in a different place. It's not a matter of adequate or inadequate, it's a preference and no more than that, like enjoying anal or oral. Some like it and some don't, that's what makes the world go 'round, right?

PonyPotato

blah

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snowy

My external body can take a good pounding and lots of other stuff. Sometimes we wrestle around a bit. I like that. I like my sex really rough; I like when I can feel his fingers digging into my hips, when it's really fast and furious. My body is not very delicate.

My vagina gets sore from too much sex, though. I can go about 3 times in 24 hours before it starts getting painful. My labia get sore if they haven't been properly lubed up beforehand. That's really about it, though--admittedly, I am a bit ticklish in odd places, but a very, very light touch must be used. My SO knows this and exploits it to his advantage.

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thespian86

From Ashleigh:

It always seems like Taylor and I start with the intention of having nice, la di da sex but end up going hard. It feels good at the time but at the end I can't walk. So I'm in the same boat as you with the exception of me liking it in the moment. I'm pretty tiny and fragile too.

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curiousbear

The cervix gets on your way only on certain days of the cycle, is it not?
Also by choosing a position based on how His penis is curved, Cant you prevent hitting the cervix?

abaya

Who are you addressing with these questions? Every woman is built differently--not one of us can generalize for anyone else. For me, yes, my cervix only hurts when I'm on my period, but for others they may have a different shaped vaginal cavity (and/or their partner may have a different shaped penis than my partner's), and everything depends on how the two fit together. Adjustments always need to be made, no matter what.

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Willravel

This is why a dialogue is so important. Some women love being pulverized into oblivion and can take it, others require a much more subtle and gentle experience. It's better to know going in what a person's tastes are, so that you can tailor the experience for their enjoyment (which ultimately means mutual enjoyment, of course).

dlish

ok i have a question.

is it safe to say that small/skinny women are more delicate than larger/beefy women?

they are easier to throw around, easier to bruise probably, more prone to get hurt i'd say.

in terms of sex though it depends on the womans internals im guessing and on how long the guy is.

maybe a question on why people like painful sex would be necesary?

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Willravel

From my personal experience, size is not a good indicator of how roughly or gently a woman would like to be treated. I've been with larger women that prefer I be gentle and smaller women that want me to decimate them.

PonyPotato

In my case, the desire for "rough" (externally) sex is something influenced primarily by mood and my pain tolerance for the day. Now, with a hurt wrist and me constantly running into things, I often want gentle sex because I'm afraid I'll hurt myself some more. But I'll still get rough if that's on my mind.

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Frosstbyte

My wife generally likes me to be rough and hard when I'm in the dominant position during sex (doggy, her on bottom, us standing up, etc.) but tends to be much more careful with herself when she's on top.

For oral stimulation purposes, though, she's exceedingly sensitive. She has to be very turned on and into it to really be able to enjoy nipple stimulation and I think her clit is about as sensitive as ng's. I have to be VERY careful when going down on her to feather the "you're tickling me stop!"/"wow that feels good" line and she's only once or twice let me stay down there long enough to bring her to orgasm via that method. She much prefers riding me to achieve orgasm, and even then, she has to pay pretty close attention to her body. She can end up tickling herself or (more likely) chaffing herself pretty easily if she's not careful.

lostgirl

I like it rough. I like to be grabbed, pounded, man-handled, and squeezed. Not necessarily painful sex, but just animalistic or primal. When you just let desire take over and fuck like wild things.

I've never really gotten hurt from rough sex. I've only gotten a little sore from times when we fucked all night or day.

World's King

My ex (World's Queen) liked it very rough. Like slap me and call me a whore while you fuck me...


I was down to please her... But it got to a point where my little body couldn't keep up. I like sex rough. But not all the time. Some days I wanna take it slow and actually 'make love.'


I'm a small guy. I get beat up easy.

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cadre

I guess my body isn't that delicate compared to some of you. I love it rough; rope burns, bruises and welts never bothered me. Granted I can't take that type of sex all the time, nor would I want to. But if you get me turned on, I can take quite a bit of rough sex.

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Xerxys

**Looks down and mumbles inaudibly** Show off!!!
-----Added 21/10/2008 at 03 : 10 : 57-----
I can take a beating as well, I like it very rough, not as extreme as BDSM but the activity itself has to make me break a sweat or I'll consider it a wasted day.

Hyacinthe

Maybe I should answer this question considering some of my inclinations during sex but .... well honesty is the best policy and the more opinions we can get the better the discussion - least that's how I view it.

Some of you who have been here for awhile may have picked up on the fact that I'm a masochist. By this I don't mean I can handle pain (though I have an extremely high pain threshold according to my body mod peoples) but that it actually turns me on.

For example I went and got a new helix piercing the other day - as Jennette put the needle through and did the piercing I found myself actually getting aroused and not just a little tingle in the belly as in sitting there thinking "If this goes on much longer I'm going to have to go buy new underpants before meeting the boys for lunch"

Obviously I am going to like rough sex, I'm not really very delicate I guess. My sex life does include paddles and whips and bondage and clamps. Infact the only things we don't play with is bodily excretions ( urine, faeces, vomit etc etc - blood is only out cause of the So's view, I wouldn't mind it as long as it was easily covered and he wasn't doing anything silly like drinking it) and confinement - I do have a few issues about having my face covered.

I am however extremely sensitive, a finger running lightly over any part of my body will have me giggling and squirming completely involuntarily. Even just a warm breath along my neck, back or inner thigh and I break out in goosebumps. So I do enjoy gentle sex as well.

I guess it depends what you mean by delicate then, I can take a pounding or a whipping easy, I heal quickly and cleanly (nursing education I have helps with that) but I am very sensitive.

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MrFriendly

As a guy I'm of two minds.

I quite like to be roughed around, and I do like sex when it's impulsive, and as someone said before, animalistic.

But I am, on the whole, a very gentle person and I hate violence. I'm fine with a bit of rough play, but there's a pretty distinct line I'm just not comfortable going over.

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jewels

I have a super-high tolerance for physical pain. It takes a lot to make me cry.
However, I do not find physical pain enjoyable at all.

What does turn me on as far as "man handling" is when he grabs my hair and pulls my head back. Or when he's holding on to my ass or my arms and squeezes. Not because of the pain, but despite the pain because it turns me on that he's that turned on.

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Zeraph

I just wanted to say while it's possible you really are easier to hurt because of your genes, your built that way, it's much more likely it's a psychological/mind-over-matter kind of thing as it is for most people. I'm speaking from experience. I used to be a total pain wuss, but through many years of training I have one of the highest pain tolerances I know of now.

As far as my experience with women, I've found that the ones that seem to be the most open (sexually) seem to have the highest pain tolerance. Though I doubt that that's necessarily true for the whole population. Just my personal experience.

cadre

I've noticed it too and I attribute it to the fact that some things are more pain than fun the first times and you have to be able to deal with that.

Then again, for me, pain can be fun so I guess I'm a bit off. My body is always beaten up by riding or climbing or something so it's not like I only experience pain in the bedroom.

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ShaniFaye

I like pain, obviously, but not vaginal pain, I'm "short" inside so while I can take, being whipped, flogged, chained, choked, cut....I cant do it doggy style style at all (every guy I've ever been with that I've tried it with hit my cervix) or penetration more than twice in a 24 hour period without being in pain and not being able to walk too well afterward. My clit is VERY sensitive, and if you dont start messing with it just right it will start to hurt so bad there is no way I can finish.

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StellaLuna

ratbastid told me I needed to wander on by here-- he had actually just pinched the HELL out of one of my nipples at the time (wasn't quite ready for it, but hey). I can handle ... enough. I'm no Shani, but damn if I know anyone who is! I do love getting my nipples pinched, bitten, chewed on a bit; it's also a huge turn on for me to get my hair pulled -hard- and sometimes nibbled on the side of my jaw. I don't want to get beaten on, but grabbed at enough to leave hand marks is quite nice.
I think it just depends on what you love, what you're willing to risk, and what your body is built for. If I grabbed at lurkette the way I enjoy being handled, she'd kick me out of bed. Her body doesn't respond like mine, and that's fine. I can imagine it's a bit difficult for our boy sometimes....

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Bear Cub

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Unless I'm tired. Then I just don't care.

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mixedsubstance

I think women's bodies are supposed to be sensitive unlike men's. They are built to take on/handle different things. It's true though- the men are built with physique to build, run, sweat, climb, push, pull....the 'harder' work. Not saying that women can't or don't want to do it- it's just that men have a stronger tolerance. But I think A LOT of it has to do with what we've been taught. Over the years, the men do the hard work, the men are tough and macho, while the ladies clean, take care of the kids, and look pretty. So I think it's a mentality that we tend to build up in ourselves that say 'i'm a woman, I am supposed to be sensitive' or 'I'm a man, I'm supposed to be tough'. But then, of course, you find those women who are tougher than a lot of men/less sensetive than most women or whose endurance is like that of a man, etc. and vice versa for men.

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abaya

That would be me. No being sensitive or looking pretty here... I was raised to be tough and play hard, and I still am that way. It is definitely almost all in one's social conditioning, and not the way you "have" to be based on whether you have a penis or vagina. Gender is a construct. No one is "supposed" to be a particular way, and no gender is more "tolerant" of physical demands (hello, child birth!)... it's 99% mental and social conditioning.

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Yellow Tulip

A lot depends on the partner. My ex was just too wide for me and it caused a lot of pain, especially in the first minute or so, then you get numb to it to an extent. I hadn't had that problem with other men, he was just exceptionally big. Position and women's individuality also have bearing - I love it doggy, or standing up, but for me, being on top causes me really nasty pain and soreness, so much so that I really avoid that position. Shame, because otherwise I'd like to be on top.

genuinegirly

I tend to get hurt easily. Doesn't mean I notice it. I also have a high tolerance for pain.

My husband and I had to adjust our sleeping habits because I would wake up bruised. He was horrified one morning when he realized the bruises matched up with where his knees rested. I enjoy cuddles so much I barely noticed.

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anti fishstick

i can take it pretty rough, i guess. i haven't really noticed any bruising or extra sensitivity. i'm a small person but i can take above average er, cocks and love it!! clit stimulation is also tickly for me, i don't really like direct stimulation cos it's too intense.

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lostgirl

I may like it rough, but I also have a hard time with direct stimulation of the clit.

I also like it slow and sweet sometimes. It doesn't always have to be rough. I let the moment flow, sometimes it just gets really wild.

cadre

I'm somewhat surprised to see so many women complaining of not being able to handle bigger or longer men. I would've thought it'd be more rare. I find that I'm always pretty tight but I'm rarely put in much pain. I had problems once that I attribute to the birth control I was on but other than that, if I'm turned on I never really have a problem with girth or depth. I guess I was under the impression that I fell more within the normal range.

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SabrinaFair

I'm fairly deep...I've frustrated more than one gynecologist because they have to "reach" to find my cervix. So I can take (and VERY MUCH enjoy) some deep pounding. I also like to be handled a bit "roughly"--gripped and groped and all that. Playful domination, yum....

But leave my nipples out of it. They do not respond well to rough treatment. You can smack my ass til it starts to get a little red....but treat the girls with love. :-)

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Peaches

I would have to say that I fit into the "short" category as well. Although I enjoy a fair bit of rough handling as I stated above, I can't tolerate the pain of having my cervix banged up. I have no problem at all with girth, but length is an issue.