How did you meet? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

jewels · 10-07-2008, 03:23 PM

Reading responses in Halx's Fairy Tale thread got me thinking ...

I've often thought about what it is that steers us towards a relationship, where we are in our lives when we enter that relationship and how that timing impacts the whole scenario. After my first marriage, I felt that (1) I had to find another man. It may have been merely because I'd adjusted to the two-income household and a warm body in my bed when I woke up. Anyway, I dated for several months as often as possible and although I looked everywhere and let friends set me up, not one guy I'd met was anywhere near my standards. Another factor, (2) were my standards higher at that time because I had just left a failed relationship and was looking too hard for imperfections so that I could rule out possible poor partners?

Anyway, I gave up on the search after some months. I was tired of these guys that talked only about themselves, so I decided to forget about me and focus solely on my daughter. I do recall someone feeding me the classic (3)"stop looking and you'll find him". I wasn't looking and some time later, I met hubby #2 when he came knocking on my door at an apartment I was renting to install the alarm.

When I left him 14 years later, I wasn't in the market for a man. I had BoB, the man without a brain.

My current male friend was a co-worker that I saw in passing nearly every day. We slowly became friends and even when he first asked me out platonically, I was shocked because I'd never been asked out by a man who didn't have an ulterior motive. But it wasn't until I went on that date with him that I realized there was so much more to him. We fell fast and we fell hard. I'm wondering if it was because we'd both been through so much and connected on a level we'd both never connected on before. The interesting thing, though, is that we've both seen pictures of one another throughout our lives and both admit that we probably would not have been attracted to each other if we'd met ten years ago. Hmm. And (4) he doesn't fit my Prince Charming template, he's not the bland nice guy.

I recall a similar conversation with my 2nd ex. He was not what I would have called my type, but after the first marriage failed with the guy who looked and acted like my Prince Charming, I went for the complete opposite. He was the nice guy.

The current relationship? We've got it all. Romantic, loving, beautiful, sensual and very tumultuous at times. Fairy tale? Nah. Will it last forever? I don't know. Known him now nearly six years, been together (minus a 6-month breakup, long story) four years, the past few months long distance. It ain't easy, but if it lasts forever, great. We're old and I did promise to change his diapers. But if not, I will never be sorry I loved him.

Which brings me to my question to you guys. How did you meet your SO? Do you think that the circumstances made a difference? Do you think your previous significant relationships had a hand in your susceptibility to the next one? Is my theory whacked? Do you have any theories of your own?

The bracketed numbers are just my attempt to capture what I personally believe to be the factors that allow the timing to have the influence that it does on a relationship. Just my little theory and I'd like to see if there's any credence to it.

snowy · 10-07-2008, 03:42 PM

I wrote about this in my blog on our anniversary a month and a week or so ago:

Quote:

Three years ago today I saw an advertisement for a show in the paper and decided I absolutely had to go. I was out for dinner at the time with girlfriends, but they had plans to go see a movie I had no desire to see. So I got ahold of an old acquaintance and he went with me, knowing full well that I would likely abandon him once we got to the show, as I explained this when he decided to come. The show was being held at "my bar", you see.

I went, ran into an old friend, who introduced me to his girlfriend, and she in turn introduced me to a table full of people I had never met, all townies. One of them had been in my Eastern Philosophy course that last spring, so we started chatting, and he offered to buy me a beer. While he was gone, I turned to the cute guy on my right, who I thought was way out of my league, and made a joke about the band on stage thinking they were the Rentals. He chuckled, and we started exchanging quips.

Once my beer was gone, I asked cute guy if he would like to go over to the Crowbar across the street to have another drink, and maybe talk some more, as the bar we were in was too loud. He agreed.

At the end of the night, we found out we lived on the same street, and so we walked home together, and hung out some more.

I closed the door behind him very late that night, and knew I had found him. Him. That one. That One. It wasn't a neat fall, nothing real in life is ever truly neat, but I fell, and he fell too. And falling together we formed a life and a love that we still have, three years later.

Prior to this, I had been dating (but not seriously) and had a friends-with-benefits/fuckbuddy situation going on that wasn't the best for me. I think I was looking for something more, as I'd been doing what I'd been doing for a couple years.

Charlatan · 10-07-2008, 04:05 PM

I met my wife when I was in first year University. It was last 1987 and we were still 19. We met at an audition for a play, it was a dinner theatre staging of Christopher Durang's Titanic. When I walked into the audition, I was met by the smiling face of my future wife. At that point she was the stage manager. I remember the moment clearly.

I got the part and, as it turns out, so did she. The director had trouble casting the role of Lydia and liked L's read on the character.

It wasn't until January, when rehearsals started, that I started spending time with her. One night after rehearsal we the cast when out for a beer. We were sitting at the corner of the table, next to each other. We both laugh about this now, but when our knees touched beneath the table, neither of us pulled away. We both took it as a sign.

Not much more than a week later we were dating.

That was over 20 years ago.

Jozrael · 10-07-2008, 04:27 PM

A lot of these are very heartwarming stories <3~

My SO and I met through friends.

There were two girls, K and M, which went to my town's middle school together. K moved to nearby riverdale, where she cultivated new friendships, including my SO. Late in high school I was infatuated with M, and hung with her quite often. K and M kept a close friendship, and M hosted some of the best parties I've ever been to (dry, if you can believe it =o) that K often brought her friends to. However, I didn't actually meet my SO for a long time...she began dating a rather dickish mutual friend of ours (also a friend of M) and I heard bad things about her since there was a complicated love triangle between said friend, her, and another girl. I was not keen on meeting my SO, nor she on me since she had heard such -good- things about me, and knew the impression I must have of her

.

Long story short, with all the complicated politickings of high school past, we are happily relationship-ed.

Anormalguy · 10-07-2008, 06:36 PM

At the university we attended.

NoSoup · 10-07-2008, 07:02 PM

I met my wife in 8th grade.

Wow.

I don't that's ever really hit me before. Granted, we didn't date until we were Juniors in Highschool - in fact, I think there was a period of a couple of years where we didn't see each other, but we've been together now for nearly eight years.

I don't know if I knew that she was "The One" way back when I met her, but I definately knew she was special. Not many other girls would let you smash a cake in their face within minutes of meeting them the first time.

For what it's worth, I met her at my house, she came over as the friend of a friend...

Poppinjay · 10-07-2008, 07:40 PM

Quote:

I closed the door behind him very late that night, and knew I had found him. Him. That one. That One.

Powerful stuff. Let me know when you write the story of your life, your phrases kick ass. I could read that account over and over and still be enchanted.

hmmm... fairy tale? no. Never believed in that stuff. I'm a sucker for a good bass line and a tall brunette. So I married one. Tall brunette that is, I can't abide sleeping with sheet music. No matter how distorted life gets, she is my one true thing. Nothing will ever turn my head, ever. I like attractive women like decent architecture or a pretty picture, but that's it.

It may not be a fairy tale, but I am hopelessly, ass over tea kettle in love. Have been for 10 years and will always be.

cj2112 · 10-07-2008, 08:12 PM

I belong to a small community based message board. I ran across a posting about a member of the site forming a Relay For Life team. I had no clue what Relay was all about other than raising money for the American Cancer Society, but I signed myself and the kids up immediately. I didn't believe in love at first sight or anything like that, until that first team meeting.
We went to the first team meeting and I knew as soon as I saw her, that I was going to marry her. My exact thoughts were "OH MY GOD! THAT'S HER!!!" I had never met her before. She walked up to me, and said "I'd know you anywhere". We were married July 4, 2008.

ColonelSpecial · 10-07-2008, 08:25 PM

We met in the dorms at university when he was a junior. We hung out as a large group. One summer, he moved in with 3 friends I had known for 4 years. I went over and hung out and watched/played D&D and other roleplaying games. He started out small, asking if I wanted tea, carrying my bags from the grocery store, etc. I consider myself a hardcore feminist, the way he did these things were just to show he liked me. We started dating and things have gone really well.

Slightly odd part: two years before we started dating, during his freshman year, he asked my sister on a date. She said yes and then backed out. It was to a play and he had purchased her ticket for $17. The running joke became my sister owed him $17 for the ticket. We figured it would just be a running joke but during her toast to us at our wedding, she gave us $20. It was very sweet. There is no ill will between them.

We are both realistic about our relationship. We say that we will be together for 60 years (both of us will be 85 then) come hell or high water. We are two months in!

jewels · 10-08-2008, 01:53 AM

Great stories! Keep 'em coming. No comments about the impact of timing, eh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ColonelSpecial

We are both realistic about our relationship. We say that we will be together for 60 years (both of us will be 85 then) come hell or high water.

So when you're 85 he's going to trade you in for a younger model?

Poppinjay · 10-08-2008, 04:15 AM

Timing, I looked up, she looked in, the fax machine was right there, and we fell in love.

Fax machine or no, it was bound to happen. A couple of sandwiches later, I knew I was on a total crack ride.

thespian86 · 10-08-2008, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlatan

I met my wife when I was in first year University. It was last 1987 and we were still 19. We met at an audition for a play, it was a dinner theatre staging of Christopher Durang's Titanic. When I walked into the audition, I was met by the smiling face of my future wife. At that point she was the stage manager. I remember the moment clearly.

I got the part and, as it turns out, so did she. The director had trouble casting the role of Lydia and liked L's read on the character.

It wasn't until January, when rehearsals started, that I started spending time with her. One night after rehearsal we the cast when out for a beer. We were sitting at the corner of the table, next to each other. We both laugh about this now, but when our knees touched beneath the table, neither of us pulled away. We both took it as a sign.

Not much more than a week later we were dating.

That was over 20 years ago.

Rehearsals do that. 8 hours a day, become tech weeks, stage crushes start, and the awesome thing is, sometimes they are real.

I was doing a charity show called "A Little Broadway/A Little Burlesque" where I met a vocal coach who asked me if I would join her studio to do a WWII dinner theatre. I said yes and on the first day of rehearsals I walked in and started talking to this tall, very friendly red haired girl, but the whole time noticing this olive skinned, dark curly hair, greek looking girl named Meg. I started chatting with her, and found we had great chemistry; our banter became famous. One day I got in trouble with the vocal coach for flirting too loudly. I asked her out, and we went.

As we started hanging out more, and rehearsals continued I started to notice that there was a girl in the class that appreciated my humor excessively. She laughed at everything. And when Meg would sing this girl would scowl. It was kind of cute and funny; she was jealous of Megan. I'd never had two girls kind of interested me while I was single before, and so I loved it but didn't pursue anything with laughy girl.

During the show, Meg and I had decided it wasn't going to work, and i told laughy girl that I liked her. She giggled (of course) and we went out. The date was a complete bust. Three months later we started a rehearsing for a regional theatre production of CATS (my first equity gig!); we kissed on halloween.

We broke up. It was terrible. I slept with other girls. I didn't like it. I slept with her, and I realized... why did we break up. I love her. She loves me. We got back together. As we are starting slowly again, I'm not jumping for joy on the outside... inside though

Meditrina · 10-08-2008, 07:18 AM

How did you meet your SO?

For some reason, I feel the need to give a little background as to how I got to where I was on the day I met my SO. All through high school, I was shy, timid, and much more of a wallflower than ever. When I went away to college it was like the cage broke. I was free! I partied every chance I had, drinking my way through the first 2 years. Needless to say, I never met anyone I could spend the rest of my life with, I don't think I was looking for that yet. The summer after my 2nd year away, I was home and I met this guy through a friend. He was not like the guys away at school, he was a "bad" boy and thrilling! He had me convinced to transfer to a college back home so I could stay with him. He had said if I went back to college away, then we would be through. For some reason, I was afraid to lose him. But he was an obsessive, possessive, jealous, controlling, verbally abusive... etc. I lost all of my friends and almost my family because of him. He instilled fear into me. I finally had enough courage to break free of him, over the phone, and attempted to move on with my life. I was scheduled to graduate college the next day. I decided to try to make contact with one of my friends. 10 days later, she called me and we went out. I was not planning on meeting anyone, I just wanted to have a good time, catch up with my friend, and all that. We both met someone that night. They were brothers. They were fun, cute, athletic, and easy to talk to. My friend gave the brother my number to give to my now SO. A few days later he called. He was not a phone person, but yet we would talk for hours every day. We really got to know each other very well. He was nothing like my ex-boyfriend. In fact, he was the complete opposite. 6 months later we talked of getting married. We got married about 3 years after we first met, and have been married for 14 1/2 years now.

Do you think that the circumstances made a difference? Yeah, the circumstances made a big difference, I was not out to meet anyone that night, I was more myself that night than any other night. I was relaxed and carefree.

Do you think your previous significant relationships had a hand in your susceptibility to the next one? Definitely. My relationship before meeting SO helped me realize what I wanted in a mate at that time. I knew I wanted someone less controlling, less possessive, less verbally abusive. I found that in my SO. (little did I know that he was too dependent, would leave most of the decision making up to me - but that discussion is for another time, I think).

thunder · 10-08-2008, 09:34 AM

I am probably going to date myself but who cares. Living in a small Texas town the thing to do was on Friday night go to the larger town thirty miles away and "Cruise the drag" while doing this with my buddy we ran across two girls in an old beat up blue Chevy Nova,we asked the driver if she and her freind would like to ride with us for awile and she said yes. I could not get a good look at the passenger due to me driving and my buddy in the passenger seat doing all the talking. We pulled over to a parking lot and out steped the most beautiful redheaded godess I had ever seen. We dated for a year and I have been married to her for going on 25 years. We are both a little older but she is still a hottie even after 3 kids. She still cocks my pistol.

PonyPotato · 10-08-2008, 09:59 AM

lostgirl · 10-08-2008, 11:48 AM

I met my current SO at Footstock, a festival and concert in Golden Gate Park, at the end of Bay to Breakers. I was supposed to meet up with some people for the race and got lost in the crowd. I walked the 7 miles in the race and ended up at Footstock still not finding anyone. I was so tired, having only gotten a couple hours of sleep the night before, I sat under my parasol and rested until it ended. When I got up I noticed this guy looking at me, and then away, trying to look like he wasn't looking. My phone didn't work so I decided to go ask him if I could borrow his. He offered me a ride home.

Vigilante · 10-08-2008, 12:23 PM

I met my wife in 10th grade. We met through a mutual friend at lunch, and she claims she fell in love with me because I was rude to her that day, but I don't think I was. That day, she told me her mom worked at the vocational school I was attending half a day for auto mechanics class (fun class, not a career choice) and then that's where she claims I said "SO?!" as in "so what?". I don't think it fits my personality, so I always say "I didn't say so". It's an ongoing debate to this day, 15 years later. It's so silly LOL. She'll say stuff like "if you didn't say so, then I never fell in love with you!". I usually throw her down and make her smooch me at that point, so she'll shut up, then I whisper "I never said so..."

Anyways regardless of circumstance, we were making out within a month or so of meeting, and we've been together ever since. We started dating on the 21st of november and we got married on the 23rd, 3 years later, first semester of college. Now the 21st, 22nd and 23rd are our anniversary days, and this year it falls on a friday

ruggerp11 · 10-08-2008, 05:45 PM

I'm an internet junkie. I've spent 8+ hours a day online since I was 18. I visit many sites daily. One was a design compilation site that shows you clips of interesting products, artists and sites. I saw a beta test of a site for www.iilwy.com (I'm in like with you) and gave it a try.

I like to call it Ebay for dating. Everyone gets points for certain things (winning games, logging in, updating your profile etc.). Everyone has the ability to start games, which is more like asking questions and then picking a winner from the top point bids. Well I asked people to give me their favorite youtube video. Steph linked me this:

YouTube - David Hasselhoff Get In My Car

David Hasslehoff's "Get in my car."

It was love at first Hoff haha.

We talked online daily as we both had jobs that were boring and allowed us to be online. A few weeks later she got drunk and called me. I had been seeing someone else at the time and let her know. She told me that it felt weird breaking up with someone you weren't even going out with, but I wanted to be up front and honest. I very quickly realized that I had it backwards and told Steph that I needed to meet her. She mentioned coming to Minn and I quickly agreed. We visited back and forth a few times and I easily decided to move to California. We now live together in the "South of Market" area in San Francisco and I couldn't be happier. I hope it's forever. I have a good feeling it will be, I have told her that I'd like to marry her and I can't imagine anything driving us apart. Now I just worry about the test of time like anyone.

ItWasMe · 10-08-2008, 09:18 PM

We met at summer camp. We were 12 years old.

A boy kept following me around camp, chatting non-stop. Just would not accept a brush off at all, whether indirect or direct. He was annoying the hell out of me. I went into the girls bathroom. He waited outside for me as I sneaked out the other door. I found my guy friend T and asked him for help hiding me. I told him that I was pretty sure if I killed the kid, or even just kicked his butt, they would send me home. T turned to his friend J and told J to hang around with me and make sure the guy left me alone. J and I became good friends.

In our twenties, we spent alot of time together. We saw each other at least a couple times a week, usually more. One night I thought he was about to kiss me goodnight. He didn't, and abruptly left. I asked him shortly after if he wanted to go on a real date. He chickened out, and I didn't hear from him much for a while. A few years later, after he'd been one of my two best friends for 16 years, we both agreed to give dating a shot.

Easter weekend, we spent the holiday with his family and friends. We posed for pictures with his arm around me. Nobody batted an eye, it was so normal for two best friends in pictures. When he still had his arm around me after the pictures, his mother did a double take. She then said very loudly, "Finally! He's holding on to her!" Apparently she had chosen me many years earlier. We married six months later. That was 13 years ago.
-----Added 9/10/2008 at 01 : 28 : 51-----

Quote:

Originally Posted by luciferase75

...that's where she claims I said "SO?!" as in "so what?". I don't think it fits my personality, so I always say "I didn't say so". It's an ongoing debate to this day, 15 years later...

Maybe you said "oh"
-----Added 9/10/2008 at 01 : 30 : 31-----

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poppinjay

...I'm a sucker for a good bass line and a tall brunette. So I married one. Tall brunette that is, I can't abide sleeping with sheet music...

I was thinking bass as in a fish, not music. LoL.

hunbun0704 · 10-10-2008, 03:05 PM

I first saw him the first day of a new job some 13 years ago. I passed by him and was being introduced to the 'group'. He smiled at me and I thought to myself, that is the man I am going to marry someday. I felt sparks and comfort all at once. He was it. I knew NOTHING about him. Just his smile. His very kind smile. He was actually newly divorced. We talked for over a year and dated other people. We had become good friends as he would come to work late at night (after the bars for a while there) and chat with me for hours ( I worked often until 3 a.m.). Seriously hours.
I do think that both of us working for the same company helped. We had sparks and we were ready to be loved. For me, seeing him daily was essential. Proximity was key. Today, day to day living makes difficult to have some of those innocent sparks. We work 50 miles apart and I miss having lunch with him.
I know that from a relationship end standpoint, and moving on, I would be a completely different person than what I was when I met him so many years ago. My experiences, my kids influence and the want to regain those sparks / connection would be first in my mind. I don't think I have the nativity to think there is an 'instant' knowing moment. I know that it takes work and time. I know forever is a long long time.

Vigilante · 10-10-2008, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

Maybe you said "oh"

THANK YOU! That's what I keep telling her

curiousbear · 10-11-2008, 09:08 AM

right in my class. we were no classmates though.

levite · 10-12-2008, 06:28 PM

My best story is actually the one of how I met my first serious girlfriend: I was in high school-- a shy, geeky kid who was learning to shed his shy geekiness by acting. She was the only girl in my life I have ever "picked up," as in, having never met her before, I randomly struck up conversation with her for the intention of getting a date with her.

True story: my friend and I went into this coffeehouse, and I spotted this fearsomely hot redhead, reading a huge book (nothing turns me on more than hot smart chicks). My friend, hearing me remark on her, pushed me, cajoled me, and dared me to go to talk to her. I went to get more coffee, with the real intention being to see what she was reading-- maybe we had a common interest.... Turned out, she was reading from a complete works of Shakespeare, and she was on "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which-- no joke-- I had just done! I had picked up most of the lines, so I just went round to the front of her table, and gave her Oberon's line to Titania when they meet. She picked up the cue, and we played out half the scene before my memory failed me, and I introduced myself. She invited me to sit, and we ended up sitting there talking until the place closed. We spent the next six months in a scorching relationship, until it ended when she had to leave (she was an exchange student, and had to go back to Scotland). But we keep in touch. Still exchange a few e-mails every year....

My current honey (who might just be The One) actually used to be a student of my mom's. My mom is a professor at one of the Jewish seminaries out here, and my g/f used to be one of her favorite students. We'd both heard about each other from my mom, but I only met her after she (my g/f) got ordained. We went out on one date, and then I left to do my year of study in Jerusalem. She e-mailed me, and we corresponded for months, then began IM'ing each other every day, and finally that kinda descended into cybersex, at which point we figured she might as well come out to visit. She did, we hooked up, it rocked, and we dated long distance until I got back this past July. We've been happily seeing each other ever since, and are starting to talk semi-seriously about getting married.... A good how-we-met story, although I don't know that I'd necessarily tell it that way to the grandkids..."Yes, Johnny, your grandma once said the filthiest things to me online! Grandma was quite a randy little minx in her day...."

genuinegirly · 10-12-2008, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curiousbear

right in my class. we were no classmates though.

Tt and I met in a class, too.

In high school, I ran hurdles for the track team. I always kept my eye on a friendly guy with crazy hair who practiced on the other side of the track. He always smiled as he competed in pole vaulting. I started noticing him around school more. He played flute, later trombone in the jazz band. I often passed him with his group of friends on my way to choir practice. Whenever I passed him, I wondered if I'd ever get the nerve to introduce myself. One Fall semester, as a junior in high school, I helped out in a senior English class. Tt happened to be in the class. The first day I saw him there, I thought, "this is my chance!" Over the course of the year, I spoke to him a little here and there. I was timid and not very memorable. The last few days of class, we had yearbook signings. I wanted so badly for Tt to sign my book, so I asked him when he came into the class and sat down. He didn't think much about it, said "Sure!" and wrote something nice with his e-mail address. I then asked a few other people in the class for their signatures, so it wouldn't be obvious that I was interested in Tt.

A couple of weeks after graduation, I sent him a carefully-crafted e-mail. I wrote him a little of the message in French, asking him to help me improve my writing and grammar. He responded positively, and we kept up as pen pals and became close friends.

In spring of 2005, Tt and I toured Europe by rail and foot. Backpacking through Europe was a dream that we both had for some time. It seemed to be the quintessential experience for young adults. Our friend offered us a place to stay in Paris, and we jumped at the idea. We spent a month on our great adventure.

When I decided to go back to school full-time in 2006, Tt convinced me to apply for Berkeley. I applied to a number of schools, and received many rejection letters. I was only accepted to the school he suggested. I saw campus for the first time when I showed up for summer school. Tt visited every month or so. I realized how much I missed him and we went on little dates during his weekend visits. He proposed, visited more frequently, we moved in together. A month after graduation *poof* we were married.

digme · 10-13-2008, 05:24 PM

She was dating my college roommate. Lost a friend, but gained a wife.

mcgeedo · 10-14-2008, 04:10 PM

We met on an internet forum. We were both posting to a thread on a topic that I know a little bit about, and she asked me a couple questions in the thread. She seemed to be a bright, inquisitive person and a lot of fun to talk with, so I invited her to email me directly. She did.

We started out exchanging a couple emails a day. I found myself looking forward to checking email. I enjoyed our conversation a lot. After a couple months, we were up to a dozen or two emails a day, and ranging far and wide with our conversations. It was soon after that that we acknowledged that we had fallen in love, never having seen each other. We had traded a few pictures, and had some brief telephone conversations, but still communicated mostly via email. My acquaintenance had become my best friend had become my love.

About 6 months into our relationship, we decided to meet. We talked ourselves out of meeting at first, but after a little reflection we decided we'd just go ahead and meet and whatever might happen, would happen. Meeting was an amazing experience, but at that point we didn't know what to do about our relationship and we were somewhat adrift. We were both in relationships at the time, but they were both at an end anyway; we were just going through the motions day to day.

Around 8 months in, we met again. During a sweet little visit in New England, I told her that we were going to eventually end up together, and she didn't disagree. But we were still floundering. We met again for 3 wonderful days at a beautiful historical resort. It was then that we realized that saying goodbye was so painful that we would either have to be together or end it, even though we weren't able to express that to each other at that point. This was about 9 months in, after a terribly long holiday season apart.

The last couple months before this point, we found ourselves spending the entire day together, either on the phone or on email or webcam. We decided, and I'm not sure exactly how, that we had to be together. So that's exactly what we did. We moved in together at the end of February.

We've had our growing pains, as all new couples do. But we've matured together and continue falling in love again each new day. There's so many fascinating things about how our relationship developed, but the big one, in my mind, is that we started out communicating so deeply and frankly, and we were best friends months before we were lovers. I read so many posts here and elsewhere where a couple has an issue, and I think "Why don't you two just sit and talk together about it? Take off your clothes, sit across from each other in your bed, start by saying 'I love you,' and just go from there." That's what we do, and it's the most incredible experience of my life.

We're engaged now, and we'll marry in the Spring. I love her more than anything in my life. My dreams have all come true, and I'm smiling as I write this, waiting for her to run across it :-)

Baraka_Guru · 10-17-2008, 07:32 AM

She was living in B.C. I was living in Ontario. We met in Quebec at our mutual friends' wedding.

She was the maid of honour. I was the best man.

Leto · 10-17-2008, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

She was the maid of honour. I was the best man.

Way to go, eh?

That was a coup. Who moved where after that?

Baraka_Guru · 10-17-2008, 08:39 AM

She moved here. I was still in school at the time and she was just starting her career.

Frosstbyte · 10-17-2008, 08:49 AM

We met playing World of Warcraft.

Incoming spam of WoW related nonsense: I was bored after a raid and hanging around Ironforge and my friend from my old guild asked me to come help him help someone in his guild with a quest in Badlands (the elite red/black dragons in the far east area). So I got on my hunter out to help and the person who needed help was also a hunter. She admired my gear and I told her that she'd one day have similar stuff. That was the first time we met.

Fast forward to long after that on Labor Day of 2006. I'd left the server I was on when the above happened, but signed back on to chat with old friends and the same hunter who I'd helped so long ago sent me a private message asking if I remembered her. We struck up a conversation then and were off to the races. By the end of the day, we'd exchanged IM handles. By the end of the week, phone numbers. By the end of the next week, she came to visit me (she was going to school in Davis and I was in school in San Francisco). After that, we went back and forth by train for about 9 months before she moved in with me in San Francisco. Lived together about a year, then got married in August and moved to Fremont together to be closer to her job.

And voila. How very modern of us.

Baraka_Guru · 10-17-2008, 08:53 AM

Very modern, yes.

But this is age-old:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frosstbyte

She admired my gear [...]

Leto · 10-17-2008, 08:56 AM

yes very modern. Am I the only one that didn't understand any of Frossbyte's context??

M3nt0R · 11-12-2008, 12:02 PM

My best friend and her best friend were going out. One day they all met up along with another couple of friends and did extacy. I declined to drop the pill because I didn't want to behave the way I normally do because there were huge tensions between me and the kid whose house it was, and I didn't want to be overly sympathetic and appologetic...so I decided to drop 42 benadryl's that night.

Needless to say I must have said 10 lines worth of speech throughout the entire night because for the whole time I was pretty much picking non-existant translucent spiders off the walls of his house, and saw my soon to be girlfriend in a completely distorted fashion, with half her teeth missing, and a very strange face.

That's how we met, then I met up with my best friend, his girlfriend, and my soon-to-be SO but I was too shy, so I had to down a few beers the first few times we met up like this, but through talking online and me walking her home every night we met up, soon enough we were 'together' that and we also did ecstasy a few times the first month we were 'seeing each other' before we were 'official'. We soon dropped that little habit, and have been together for 10 months, very happily.

I feel strange, seeing that most people here have...more conventional ways of meeting people, and mine seems...well trashy but hey we're both great people with high ambitions, and great friends and families, and big BIG plans.

jewels · 11-12-2008, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M3nt0R

I feel strange, seeing that most people here have...more conventional ways of meeting people, and mine seems...well trashy but hey we're both great people with high ambitions, and great friends and families, and big BIG plans.

Don't feel strange. Everyone else is just boring.

streak_56 · 11-12-2008, 04:56 PM

A friend of mine was having a birthday party at a club and she was there. Drunk as hell. Although she had to leave because her friend was apparently going to make out with me, thank god. And it went from there...

snowy · 11-12-2008, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frosstbyte

We met playing World of Warcraft.

Incoming spam of WoW related nonsense: I was bored after a raid and hanging around Ironforge and my friend from my old guild asked me to come help him help someone in his guild with a quest in Badlands (the elite red/black dragons in the far east area). So I got on my hunter out to help and the person who needed help was also a hunter. She admired my gear and I told her that she'd one day have similar stuff. That was the first time we met.

Fast forward to long after that on Labor Day of 2006. I'd left the server I was on when the above happened, but signed back on to chat with old friends and the same hunter who I'd helped so long ago sent me a private message asking if I remembered her. We struck up a conversation then and were off to the races. By the end of the day, we'd exchanged IM handles. By the end of the week, phone numbers. By the end of the next week, she came to visit me (she was going to school in Davis and I was in school in San Francisco). After that, we went back and forth by train for about 9 months before she moved in with me in San Francisco. Lived together about a year, then got married in August and moved to Fremont together to be closer to her job.

And voila. How very modern of us.

What a great story, Frosstbyte.

Derwood · 11-12-2008, 05:37 PM

Blind Date.

we'll be married 11 years in April

Starkizzer · 11-12-2008, 06:27 PM

I had never really dated much in high school, one guy for about 3 months. For most of my teenage years I had been head over heels for my best guy friend who lived on the other side of the block from me. After dropping hints, "walking my dog" over to his house very early in the morning and waking him up, nothing happened EVER!

So I started at my local community college after high school and wanted nothing to do with guys, never wanted to get married, never wanted to have kids nothing. I started hanging out with one of my high school friends and his friends around campus. There was one geeky guy who I thought was sweet and quiet, but every time I talked to him he looked at me like I was going to eat him. Well my friend from high school calls me one night and tells me that Steven (the geeky guy) had been asking about me. Wondering why I never hung out with them outside of school. A few days later, hanging out with everyone at school again I got up to get something to eat and everyone must have had to go to class while I was away from the table, because the next thing I know Steven is bring me my backpack. He too had to leave and didn't want to leave my backpack unattended (it was in eye shot from where I was).

I finally managed to hang out with them one night to watch a movie in one of the guys garage. I pulled in a folding chair from another room and set it near the door. Steven, who had his chair on the other side of the room promptly moved it next to mine. I moved my chair away a little and he moved his closer again.

He took me home that night and gave me a hug at my door. For the next couple of nights that week I would go over watch a movie and Steven would drive me home. One night he tried to give me a kiss, but not sure if what I was feeling was like or just happy someone was showing me attention I turned my head so he would only kiss me on the cheek. This must have thrown him off because he fell over into the bushes next to my front porch.

These little encounter soon turned into a relationship with out any official acknowledgment. Two weeks later his grandfather passed away, he was devastated but still took me on the Disneyland trip he has promised me for our real first date. I had more fun with him that day and felt closer to him than I ever had with any one else. He even took me to The Blue Bayou! No one had ever treated me so well.

We spent many an evening just sitting in his van talking and making out. One night while he was telling me about his trip to Kenya a little voice in my head said "this is the guy you will spend forever with". It shocked the hell out of me.

After only a month I decided that I would tell him I loved him, so I said "so I think I love you" his response was "I love you too!" No hesitation at all. Told me he had felt that way since our day at Disneyland, no one had ever put up with him for that long, laughed at all his joked and still wanted to be around him the next day.

We have been through a lot and we fight like cats and dogs but we make up like rabbits. I knew I loved him quick and I know I will always love him.

We will be getting married in the Spring of 2010. I <3 my geek!

Dexter Morgan · 11-12-2008, 07:27 PM

Internet.

I was already married at the time, a really dumbshit move on my part because I'd gotten pregnant and was basically scared. The relationship was okay at the time, so we just put everything on the backburner for the baby - including analyzing where our relationship was even headed. Not a fun thing to resume after you've already tied the knot, only to find everything severely lacking. But I digress.

We honestly became friends without the slightest hint of intention of there ever being more - I was married, he lived thousands of miles across the world, so if the fleeting thought ever even crossed either of our minds, it was promptly dismissed as some outlandish joke. So all we did was talk. And talk. And talk. All the time. It didn't take him long to become one of my best friends. And at that time in my life, it was more like my BEST friend, since ex-husband thought it a necessity to more or less discourage any contact with real-life friends, some of which I'd had since grade school.

Eventually, it wasn't just two people shooting the breeze about random stuff, but two people completely opening up to one another about all kinds of things happening in our lives - family troubles, my disintegrating marriage, job woes, all of it. When he wasn't making me laugh hysterically, he was listening to me pour my heart out, and vice versa. Before we knew it, three years had passed. Within that time, the idea that we were in love was . . . pretty well established, but of course there was just too much in the way.

Fast forward to 2007, when I finally moved out and separated from my ex-husband (not a separation, really, more of a "We'll get divorced when I figure out how to draw up the papers myself". I'm also an incurable DIY-er, as a non sequitur). By then, we were both WELL aware of how we felt about each other, we were telling each other as much, but we were both quite uncertain how realistic the proposition of our ever being together was. Love, we could handle; United States immigration? Little tougher.

We met in person in August of 2007, when the moons aligned just right and he managed to come virtually live with me for a full month. It was . . . bliss. It honestly felt the way it was SUPPOSED to feel, a way I'd never once experienced with my ex-husband at any point in our relationship. And no, it wasn't anything whirlwind or dramatically romantic. I don't live in a big, exotic city (more like the OPPOSITE of that). I'm not wealthy, nor is he. It was just two people . . . living together. My son loved him. My friends loved him. My parents loved him. It was just IT.

So, once he went back (which just about killed me - and to this very day, it's been over a year since I've seen him in the flesh), we knew the next step was to appease the bureaucrats and give them their precious paperwork. Truthfully, neither of us were keen on marriage; he's never aspired to be married, and I never wanted to even glance sideways at it again after my divorce. But, we know we're it for each other. Married or not just doesn't really make a difference. So, marriage it was.

Since late September of 2007, I arranged and executed my entire divorce (save for the part where the judge signs the papers), gathered the 400 million things required by INS, waited (and waited and waited and waited), saved money, waited some more - until now. My honey is merely 10 days away from touching down on American soil, never to have to leave again. Four and a half years ago, I'd have said you were sniffing ether if you told me we'd be getting married. Now . . . it's probably the rightest thing I've ever done.

Poppinjay · 11-13-2008, 04:52 AM

Quote:

we fight like cats and dogs but we make up like rabbits.

I'm going to file this away for future use.

10-07-2008, 03:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	How did you meet? Reading responses in Halx's Fairy Tale thread got me thinking ... I've often thought about what it is that steers us towards a relationship, where we are in our lives when we enter that relationship and how that timing impacts the whole scenario. After my first marriage, I felt that (1) I had to find another man. It may have been merely because I'd adjusted to the two-income household and a warm body in my bed when I woke up. Anyway, I dated for several months as often as possible and although I looked everywhere and let friends set me up, not one guy I'd met was anywhere near my standards. Another factor, (2) were my standards higher at that time because I had just left a failed relationship and was looking too hard for imperfections so that I could rule out possible poor partners? Anyway, I gave up on the search after some months. I was tired of these guys that talked only about themselves, so I decided to forget about me and focus solely on my daughter. I do recall someone feeding me the classic (3)"stop looking and you'll find him". I wasn't looking and some time later, I met hubby #2 when he came knocking on my door at an apartment I was renting to install the alarm. When I left him 14 years later, I wasn't in the market for a man. I had BoB, the man without a brain. My current male friend was a co-worker that I saw in passing nearly every day. We slowly became friends and even when he first asked me out platonically, I was shocked because I'd never been asked out by a man who didn't have an ulterior motive. But it wasn't until I went on that date with him that I realized there was so much more to him. We fell fast and we fell hard. I'm wondering if it was because we'd both been through so much and connected on a level we'd both never connected on before. The interesting thing, though, is that we've both seen pictures of one another throughout our lives and both admit that we probably would not have been attracted to each other if we'd met ten years ago. Hmm. And (4) he doesn't fit my Prince Charming template, he's not the bland nice guy. I recall a similar conversation with my 2nd ex. He was not what I would have called my type, but after the first marriage failed with the guy who looked and acted like my Prince Charming, I went for the complete opposite. He was the nice guy. The current relationship? We've got it all. Romantic, loving, beautiful, sensual and very tumultuous at times. Fairy tale? Nah. Will it last forever? I don't know. Known him now nearly six years, been together (minus a 6-month breakup, long story) four years, the past few months long distance. It ain't easy, but if it lasts forever, great. We're old and I did promise to change his diapers. But if not, I will never be sorry I loved him. Which brings me to my question to you guys. How did you meet your SO? Do you think that the circumstances made a difference? Do you think your previous significant relationships had a hand in your susceptibility to the next one? Is my theory whacked? Do you have any theories of your own? The bracketed numbers are just my attempt to capture what I personally believe to be the factors that allow the timing to have the influence that it does on a relationship. Just my little theory and I'd like to see if there's any credence to it. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain Last edited by jewels; 10-07-2008 at 03:43 PM.. Reason: clarity

10-07-2008, 04:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I met my wife when I was in first year University. It was last 1987 and we were still 19. We met at an audition for a play, it was a dinner theatre staging of Christopher Durang's Titanic. When I walked into the audition, I was met by the smiling face of my future wife. At that point she was the stage manager. I remember the moment clearly. I got the part and, as it turns out, so did she. The director had trouble casting the role of Lydia and liked L's read on the character. It wasn't until January, when rehearsals started, that I started spending time with her. One night after rehearsal we the cast when out for a beer. We were sitting at the corner of the table, next to each other. We both laugh about this now, but when our knees touched beneath the table, neither of us pulled away. We both took it as a sign. Not much more than a week later we were dating. That was over 20 years ago. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

10-07-2008, 06:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
Anormalguy After School Special Moralist Location: Large City, Texas.	At the university we attended. __________________ In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

10-07-2008, 07:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
NoSoup Non-Rookie Location: Green Bay, WI	I met my wife in 8th grade. Wow. I don't that's ever really hit me before. Granted, we didn't date until we were Juniors in Highschool - in fact, I think there was a period of a couple of years where we didn't see each other, but we've been together now for nearly eight years. I don't know if I knew that she was "The One" way back when I met her, but I definately knew she was special. Not many other girls would let you smash a cake in their face within minutes of meeting them the first time. For what it's worth, I met her at my house, she came over as the friend of a friend... __________________ I have an aura of reliability and good judgement. Just in case you were wondering...

10-07-2008, 08:25 PM	#9 (permalink)
ColonelSpecial Insane	We met in the dorms at university when he was a junior. We hung out as a large group. One summer, he moved in with 3 friends I had known for 4 years. I went over and hung out and watched/played D&D and other roleplaying games. He started out small, asking if I wanted tea, carrying my bags from the grocery store, etc. I consider myself a hardcore feminist, the way he did these things were just to show he liked me. We started dating and things have gone really well. Slightly odd part: two years before we started dating, during his freshman year, he asked my sister on a date. She said yes and then backed out. It was to a play and he had purchased her ticket for $17. The running joke became my sister owed him $17 for the ticket. We figured it would just be a running joke but during her toast to us at our wedding, she gave us $20. It was very sweet. There is no ill will between them. We are both realistic about our relationship. We say that we will be together for 60 years (both of us will be 85 then) come hell or high water. We are two months in! __________________ "Mommy, the presidents are squishing me!" "Using the pull out method of contraceptive is like saying I won't use a seat belt, I'll just jump out of the car before it hits that tree." Sara

10-07-2008, 04:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
Jozrael Junkie	A lot of these are very heartwarming stories <3~ My SO and I met through friends. There were two girls, K and M, which went to my town's middle school together. K moved to nearby riverdale, where she cultivated new friendships, including my SO. Late in high school I was infatuated with M, and hung with her quite often. K and M kept a close friendship, and M hosted some of the best parties I've ever been to (dry, if you can believe it =o) that K often brought her friends to. However, I didn't actually meet my SO for a long time...she began dating a rather dickish mutual friend of ours (also a friend of M) and I heard bad things about her since there was a complicated love triangle between said friend, her, and another girl. I was not keen on meeting my SO, nor she on me since she had heard such -good- things about me, and knew the impression I must have of her . Long story short, with all the complicated politickings of high school past, we are happily relationship-ed.

10-07-2008, 08:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
cj2112 Unbelievable Location: Grants Pass OR	I belong to a small community based message board. I ran across a posting about a member of the site forming a Relay For Life team. I had no clue what Relay was all about other than raising money for the American Cancer Society, but I signed myself and the kids up immediately. I didn't believe in love at first sight or anything like that, until that first team meeting. We went to the first team meeting and I knew as soon as I saw her, that I was going to marry her. My exact thoughts were "OH MY GOD! THAT'S HER!!!" I had never met her before. She walked up to me, and said "I'd know you anywhere". We were married July 4, 2008.

10-08-2008, 04:15 AM	#11 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Timing, I looked up, she looked in, the fax machine was right there, and we fell in love. Fax machine or no, it was bound to happen. A couple of sandwiches later, I knew I was on a total crack ride. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

10-08-2008, 07:18 AM	#13 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	How did you meet your SO? For some reason, I feel the need to give a little background as to how I got to where I was on the day I met my SO. All through high school, I was shy, timid, and much more of a wallflower than ever. When I went away to college it was like the cage broke. I was free! I partied every chance I had, drinking my way through the first 2 years. Needless to say, I never met anyone I could spend the rest of my life with, I don't think I was looking for that yet. The summer after my 2nd year away, I was home and I met this guy through a friend. He was not like the guys away at school, he was a "bad" boy and thrilling! He had me convinced to transfer to a college back home so I could stay with him. He had said if I went back to college away, then we would be through. For some reason, I was afraid to lose him. But he was an obsessive, possessive, jealous, controlling, verbally abusive... etc. I lost all of my friends and almost my family because of him. He instilled fear into me. I finally had enough courage to break free of him, over the phone, and attempted to move on with my life. I was scheduled to graduate college the next day. I decided to try to make contact with one of my friends. 10 days later, she called me and we went out. I was not planning on meeting anyone, I just wanted to have a good time, catch up with my friend, and all that. We both met someone that night. They were brothers. They were fun, cute, athletic, and easy to talk to. My friend gave the brother my number to give to my now SO. A few days later he called. He was not a phone person, but yet we would talk for hours every day. We really got to know each other very well. He was nothing like my ex-boyfriend. In fact, he was the complete opposite. 6 months later we talked of getting married. We got married about 3 years after we first met, and have been married for 14 1/2 years now. Do you think that the circumstances made a difference? Yeah, the circumstances made a big difference, I was not out to meet anyone that night, I was more myself that night than any other night. I was relaxed and carefree. Do you think your previous significant relationships had a hand in your susceptibility to the next one? Definitely. My relationship before meeting SO helped me realize what I wanted in a mate at that time. I knew I wanted someone less controlling, less possessive, less verbally abusive. I found that in my SO. (little did I know that he was too dependent, would leave most of the decision making up to me - but that discussion is for another time, I think). __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

10-08-2008, 09:34 AM	#14 (permalink)
thunder Upright Location: West Texas	I am probably going to date myself but who cares. Living in a small Texas town the thing to do was on Friday night go to the larger town thirty miles away and "Cruise the drag" while doing this with my buddy we ran across two girls in an old beat up blue Chevy Nova,we asked the driver if she and her freind would like to ride with us for awile and she said yes. I could not get a good look at the passenger due to me driving and my buddy in the passenger seat doing all the talking. We pulled over to a parking lot and out steped the most beautiful redheaded godess I had ever seen. We dated for a year and I have been married to her for going on 25 years. We are both a little older but she is still a hottie even after 3 kids. She still cocks my pistol. __________________ Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

10-08-2008, 09:59 AM	#15 (permalink)
PonyPotato Soaring Location: Ohio!	blah __________________ "Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." — Henri-Frédéric Amiel Last edited by PonyPotato; 02-18-2009 at 05:22 AM..

10-08-2008, 11:48 AM	#16 (permalink)
lostgirl lightform Location: Edge of the deep green sea	I met my current SO at Footstock, a festival and concert in Golden Gate Park, at the end of Bay to Breakers. I was supposed to meet up with some people for the race and got lost in the crowd. I walked the 7 miles in the race and ended up at Footstock still not finding anyone. I was so tired, having only gotten a couple hours of sleep the night before, I sat under my parasol and rested until it ended. When I got up I noticed this guy looking at me, and then away, trying to look like he wasn't looking. My phone didn't work so I decided to go ask him if I could borrow his. He offered me a ride home. Last edited by lostgirl; 10-08-2008 at 05:21 PM..

10-08-2008, 12:23 PM	#17 (permalink)
Vigilante Broken Arrow Location: US	I met my wife in 10th grade. We met through a mutual friend at lunch, and she claims she fell in love with me because I was rude to her that day, but I don't think I was. That day, she told me her mom worked at the vocational school I was attending half a day for auto mechanics class (fun class, not a career choice) and then that's where she claims I said "SO?!" as in "so what?". I don't think it fits my personality, so I always say "I didn't say so". It's an ongoing debate to this day, 15 years later. It's so silly LOL. She'll say stuff like "if you didn't say so, then I never fell in love with you!". I usually throw her down and make her smooch me at that point, so she'll shut up, then I whisper "I never said so..." Anyways regardless of circumstance, we were making out within a month or so of meeting, and we've been together ever since. We started dating on the 21st of november and we got married on the 23rd, 3 years later, first semester of college. Now the 21st, 22nd and 23rd are our anniversary days, and this year it falls on a friday __________________ We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. -Winston Churchill

10-10-2008, 03:05 PM	#20 (permalink)
hunbun0704 Upright Location: burbia	I first saw him the first day of a new job some 13 years ago. I passed by him and was being introduced to the 'group'. He smiled at me and I thought to myself, that is the man I am going to marry someday. I felt sparks and comfort all at once. He was it. I knew NOTHING about him. Just his smile. His very kind smile. He was actually newly divorced. We talked for over a year and dated other people. We had become good friends as he would come to work late at night (after the bars for a while there) and chat with me for hours ( I worked often until 3 a.m.). Seriously hours. I do think that both of us working for the same company helped. We had sparks and we were ready to be loved. For me, seeing him daily was essential. Proximity was key. Today, day to day living makes difficult to have some of those innocent sparks. We work 50 miles apart and I miss having lunch with him. I know that from a relationship end standpoint, and moving on, I would be a completely different person than what I was when I met him so many years ago. My experiences, my kids influence and the want to regain those sparks / connection would be first in my mind. I don't think I have the nativity to think there is an 'instant' knowing moment. I know that it takes work and time. I know forever is a long long time. __________________ I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert, But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime.. - Big Country

10-11-2008, 09:08 AM	#22 (permalink)
curiousbear Addict Location: WA	right in my class. we were no classmates though.

10-12-2008, 06:28 PM	#23 (permalink)
levite Minion of Joss Location: The Windy City	My best story is actually the one of how I met my first serious girlfriend: I was in high school-- a shy, geeky kid who was learning to shed his shy geekiness by acting. She was the only girl in my life I have ever "picked up," as in, having never met her before, I randomly struck up conversation with her for the intention of getting a date with her. True story: my friend and I went into this coffeehouse, and I spotted this fearsomely hot redhead, reading a huge book (nothing turns me on more than hot smart chicks). My friend, hearing me remark on her, pushed me, cajoled me, and dared me to go to talk to her. I went to get more coffee, with the real intention being to see what she was reading-- maybe we had a common interest.... Turned out, she was reading from a complete works of Shakespeare, and she was on "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which-- no joke-- I had just done! I had picked up most of the lines, so I just went round to the front of her table, and gave her Oberon's line to Titania when they meet. She picked up the cue, and we played out half the scene before my memory failed me, and I introduced myself. She invited me to sit, and we ended up sitting there talking until the place closed. We spent the next six months in a scorching relationship, until it ended when she had to leave (she was an exchange student, and had to go back to Scotland). But we keep in touch. Still exchange a few e-mails every year.... My current honey (who might just be The One) actually used to be a student of my mom's. My mom is a professor at one of the Jewish seminaries out here, and my g/f used to be one of her favorite students. We'd both heard about each other from my mom, but I only met her after she (my g/f) got ordained. We went out on one date, and then I left to do my year of study in Jerusalem. She e-mailed me, and we corresponded for months, then began IM'ing each other every day, and finally that kinda descended into cybersex, at which point we figured she might as well come out to visit. She did, we hooked up, it rocked, and we dated long distance until I got back this past July. We've been happily seeing each other ever since, and are starting to talk semi-seriously about getting married.... A good how-we-met story, although I don't know that I'd necessarily tell it that way to the grandkids..."Yes, Johnny, your grandma once said the filthiest things to me online! Grandma was quite a randy little minx in her day...." __________________ Dull sublunary lovers love, Whose soul is sense, cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove That thing which elemented it. (From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

10-13-2008, 05:24 PM	#25 (permalink)
digme Crazy Location: madison, wi	She was dating my college roommate. Lost a friend, but gained a wife.

10-14-2008, 04:10 PM	#26 (permalink)
mcgeedo Crazy	We met on an internet forum. We were both posting to a thread on a topic that I know a little bit about, and she asked me a couple questions in the thread. She seemed to be a bright, inquisitive person and a lot of fun to talk with, so I invited her to email me directly. She did. We started out exchanging a couple emails a day. I found myself looking forward to checking email. I enjoyed our conversation a lot. After a couple months, we were up to a dozen or two emails a day, and ranging far and wide with our conversations. It was soon after that that we acknowledged that we had fallen in love, never having seen each other. We had traded a few pictures, and had some brief telephone conversations, but still communicated mostly via email. My acquaintenance had become my best friend had become my love. About 6 months into our relationship, we decided to meet. We talked ourselves out of meeting at first, but after a little reflection we decided we'd just go ahead and meet and whatever might happen, would happen. Meeting was an amazing experience, but at that point we didn't know what to do about our relationship and we were somewhat adrift. We were both in relationships at the time, but they were both at an end anyway; we were just going through the motions day to day. Around 8 months in, we met again. During a sweet little visit in New England, I told her that we were going to eventually end up together, and she didn't disagree. But we were still floundering. We met again for 3 wonderful days at a beautiful historical resort. It was then that we realized that saying goodbye was so painful that we would either have to be together or end it, even though we weren't able to express that to each other at that point. This was about 9 months in, after a terribly long holiday season apart. The last couple months before this point, we found ourselves spending the entire day together, either on the phone or on email or webcam. We decided, and I'm not sure exactly how, that we had to be together. So that's exactly what we did. We moved in together at the end of February. We've had our growing pains, as all new couples do. But we've matured together and continue falling in love again each new day. There's so many fascinating things about how our relationship developed, but the big one, in my mind, is that we started out communicating so deeply and frankly, and we were best friends months before we were lovers. I read so many posts here and elsewhere where a couple has an issue, and I think "Why don't you two just sit and talk together about it? Take off your clothes, sit across from each other in your bed, start by saying 'I love you,' and just go from there." That's what we do, and it's the most incredible experience of my life. We're engaged now, and we'll marry in the Spring. I love her more than anything in my life. My dreams have all come true, and I'm smiling as I write this, waiting for her to run across it :-)

10-17-2008, 07:32 AM	#27 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	She was living in B.C. I was living in Ontario. We met in Quebec at our mutual friends' wedding. She was the maid of honour. I was the best man. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

10-17-2008, 08:39 AM	#29 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	She moved here. I was still in school at the time and she was just starting her career. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

10-17-2008, 08:49 AM	#30 (permalink)
Frosstbyte Winter is Coming Location: The North	We met playing World of Warcraft. Incoming spam of WoW related nonsense: I was bored after a raid and hanging around Ironforge and my friend from my old guild asked me to come help him help someone in his guild with a quest in Badlands (the elite red/black dragons in the far east area). So I got on my hunter out to help and the person who needed help was also a hunter. She admired my gear and I told her that she'd one day have similar stuff. That was the first time we met. Fast forward to long after that on Labor Day of 2006. I'd left the server I was on when the above happened, but signed back on to chat with old friends and the same hunter who I'd helped so long ago sent me a private message asking if I remembered her. We struck up a conversation then and were off to the races. By the end of the day, we'd exchanged IM handles. By the end of the week, phone numbers. By the end of the next week, she came to visit me (she was going to school in Davis and I was in school in San Francisco). After that, we went back and forth by train for about 9 months before she moved in with me in San Francisco. Lived together about a year, then got married in August and moved to Fremont together to be closer to her job. And voila. How very modern of us.

10-17-2008, 08:56 AM	#32 (permalink)
Leto Junkie Location: The Danforth	yes very modern. Am I the only one that didn't understand any of Frossbyte's context??

11-12-2008, 12:02 PM	#33 (permalink)
M3nt0R Upright	My best friend and her best friend were going out. One day they all met up along with another couple of friends and did extacy. I declined to drop the pill because I didn't want to behave the way I normally do because there were huge tensions between me and the kid whose house it was, and I didn't want to be overly sympathetic and appologetic...so I decided to drop 42 benadryl's that night. Needless to say I must have said 10 lines worth of speech throughout the entire night because for the whole time I was pretty much picking non-existant translucent spiders off the walls of his house, and saw my soon to be girlfriend in a completely distorted fashion, with half her teeth missing, and a very strange face. That's how we met, then I met up with my best friend, his girlfriend, and my soon-to-be SO but I was too shy, so I had to down a few beers the first few times we met up like this, but through talking online and me walking her home every night we met up, soon enough we were 'together' that and we also did ecstasy a few times the first month we were 'seeing each other' before we were 'official'. We soon dropped that little habit, and have been together for 10 months, very happily. I feel strange, seeing that most people here have...more conventional ways of meeting people, and mine seems...well trashy but hey we're both great people with high ambitions, and great friends and families, and big BIG plans.

11-12-2008, 04:56 PM	#35 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	A friend of mine was having a birthday party at a club and she was there. Drunk as hell. Although she had to leave because her friend was apparently going to make out with me, thank god. And it went from there...

11-12-2008, 05:37 PM	#37 (permalink)
Derwood Who You Crappin? Location: Everywhere and Nowhere	Blind Date. we'll be married 11 years in April

11-12-2008, 06:27 PM	#38 (permalink)
Starkizzer Hi floor! Make me a samwich. Location: Ontario (in the stray cat complex)	I had never really dated much in high school, one guy for about 3 months. For most of my teenage years I had been head over heels for my best guy friend who lived on the other side of the block from me. After dropping hints, "walking my dog" over to his house very early in the morning and waking him up, nothing happened EVER! So I started at my local community college after high school and wanted nothing to do with guys, never wanted to get married, never wanted to have kids nothing. I started hanging out with one of my high school friends and his friends around campus. There was one geeky guy who I thought was sweet and quiet, but every time I talked to him he looked at me like I was going to eat him. Well my friend from high school calls me one night and tells me that Steven (the geeky guy) had been asking about me. Wondering why I never hung out with them outside of school. A few days later, hanging out with everyone at school again I got up to get something to eat and everyone must have had to go to class while I was away from the table, because the next thing I know Steven is bring me my backpack. He too had to leave and didn't want to leave my backpack unattended (it was in eye shot from where I was). I finally managed to hang out with them one night to watch a movie in one of the guys garage. I pulled in a folding chair from another room and set it near the door. Steven, who had his chair on the other side of the room promptly moved it next to mine. I moved my chair away a little and he moved his closer again. He took me home that night and gave me a hug at my door. For the next couple of nights that week I would go over watch a movie and Steven would drive me home. One night he tried to give me a kiss, but not sure if what I was feeling was like or just happy someone was showing me attention I turned my head so he would only kiss me on the cheek. This must have thrown him off because he fell over into the bushes next to my front porch. These little encounter soon turned into a relationship with out any official acknowledgment. Two weeks later his grandfather passed away, he was devastated but still took me on the Disneyland trip he has promised me for our real first date. I had more fun with him that day and felt closer to him than I ever had with any one else. He even took me to The Blue Bayou! No one had ever treated me so well. We spent many an evening just sitting in his van talking and making out. One night while he was telling me about his trip to Kenya a little voice in my head said "this is the guy you will spend forever with". It shocked the hell out of me. After only a month I decided that I would tell him I loved him, so I said "so I think I love you" his response was "I love you too!" No hesitation at all. Told me he had felt that way since our day at Disneyland, no one had ever put up with him for that long, laughed at all his joked and still wanted to be around him the next day. We have been through a lot and we fight like cats and dogs but we make up like rabbits. I knew I loved him quick and I know I will always love him. We will be getting married in the Spring of 2010. I <3 my geek! __________________ Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

11-12-2008, 07:27 PM	#39 (permalink)
Dexter Morgan Upright	Internet. I was already married at the time, a really dumbshit move on my part because I'd gotten pregnant and was basically scared. The relationship was okay at the time, so we just put everything on the backburner for the baby - including analyzing where our relationship was even headed. Not a fun thing to resume after you've already tied the knot, only to find everything severely lacking. But I digress. We honestly became friends without the slightest hint of intention of there ever being more - I was married, he lived thousands of miles across the world, so if the fleeting thought ever even crossed either of our minds, it was promptly dismissed as some outlandish joke. So all we did was talk. And talk. And talk. All the time. It didn't take him long to become one of my best friends. And at that time in my life, it was more like my BEST friend, since ex-husband thought it a necessity to more or less discourage any contact with real-life friends, some of which I'd had since grade school. Eventually, it wasn't just two people shooting the breeze about random stuff, but two people completely opening up to one another about all kinds of things happening in our lives - family troubles, my disintegrating marriage, job woes, all of it. When he wasn't making me laugh hysterically, he was listening to me pour my heart out, and vice versa. Before we knew it, three years had passed. Within that time, the idea that we were in love was . . . pretty well established, but of course there was just too much in the way. Fast forward to 2007, when I finally moved out and separated from my ex-husband (not a separation, really, more of a "We'll get divorced when I figure out how to draw up the papers myself". I'm also an incurable DIY-er, as a non sequitur). By then, we were both WELL aware of how we felt about each other, we were telling each other as much, but we were both quite uncertain how realistic the proposition of our ever being together was. Love, we could handle; United States immigration? Little tougher. We met in person in August of 2007, when the moons aligned just right and he managed to come virtually live with me for a full month. It was . . . bliss. It honestly felt the way it was SUPPOSED to feel, a way I'd never once experienced with my ex-husband at any point in our relationship. And no, it wasn't anything whirlwind or dramatically romantic. I don't live in a big, exotic city (more like the OPPOSITE of that). I'm not wealthy, nor is he. It was just two people . . . living together. My son loved him. My friends loved him. My parents loved him. It was just IT. So, once he went back (which just about killed me - and to this very day, it's been over a year since I've seen him in the flesh), we knew the next step was to appease the bureaucrats and give them their precious paperwork. Truthfully, neither of us were keen on marriage; he's never aspired to be married, and I never wanted to even glance sideways at it again after my divorce. But, we know we're it for each other. Married or not just doesn't really make a difference. So, marriage it was. Since late September of 2007, I arranged and executed my entire divorce (save for the part where the judge signs the papers), gathered the 400 million things required by INS, waited (and waited and waited and waited), saved money, waited some more - until now. My honey is merely 10 days away from touching down on American soil, never to have to leave again. Four and a half years ago, I'd have said you were sniffing ether if you told me we'd be getting married. Now . . . it's probably the rightest thing I've ever done. Last edited by Dexter Morgan; 11-12-2008 at 07:29 PM..