|
How did you meet your SO?
For some reason, I feel the need to give a little background as to how I got to where I was on the day I met my SO. All through high school, I was shy, timid, and much more of a wallflower than ever. When I went away to college it was like the cage broke. I was free! I partied every chance I had, drinking my way through the first 2 years. Needless to say, I never met anyone I could spend the rest of my life with, I don't think I was looking for that yet. The summer after my 2nd year away, I was home and I met this guy through a friend. He was not like the guys away at school, he was a "bad" boy and thrilling! He had me convinced to transfer to a college back home so I could stay with him. He had said if I went back to college away, then we would be through. For some reason, I was afraid to lose him. But he was an obsessive, possessive, jealous, controlling, verbally abusive... etc. I lost all of my friends and almost my family because of him. He instilled fear into me. I finally had enough courage to break free of him, over the phone, and attempted to move on with my life. I was scheduled to graduate college the next day. I decided to try to make contact with one of my friends. 10 days later, she called me and we went out. I was not planning on meeting anyone, I just wanted to have a good time, catch up with my friend, and all that. We both met someone that night. They were brothers. They were fun, cute, athletic, and easy to talk to. My friend gave the brother my number to give to my now SO. A few days later he called. He was not a phone person, but yet we would talk for hours every day. We really got to know each other very well. He was nothing like my ex-boyfriend. In fact, he was the complete opposite. 6 months later we talked of getting married. We got married about 3 years after we first met, and have been married for 14 1/2 years now.
Do you think that the circumstances made a difference? Yeah, the circumstances made a big difference, I was not out to meet anyone that night, I was more myself that night than any other night. I was relaxed and carefree.
Do you think your previous significant relationships had a hand in your susceptibility to the next one? Definitely. My relationship before meeting SO helped me realize what I wanted in a mate at that time. I knew I wanted someone less controlling, less possessive, less verbally abusive. I found that in my SO. (little did I know that he was too dependent, would leave most of the decision making up to me - but that discussion is for another time, I think).
__________________
"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras
|