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I first saw him the first day of a new job some 13 years ago. I passed by him and was being introduced to the 'group'. He smiled at me and I thought to myself, that is the man I am going to marry someday. I felt sparks and comfort all at once. He was it. I knew NOTHING about him. Just his smile. His very kind smile. He was actually newly divorced. We talked for over a year and dated other people. We had become good friends as he would come to work late at night (after the bars for a while there) and chat with me for hours ( I worked often until 3 a.m.). Seriously hours.
I do think that both of us working for the same company helped. We had sparks and we were ready to be loved. For me, seeing him daily was essential. Proximity was key. Today, day to day living makes difficult to have some of those innocent sparks. We work 50 miles apart and I miss having lunch with him.
I know that from a relationship end standpoint, and moving on, I would be a completely different person than what I was when I met him so many years ago. My experiences, my kids influence and the want to regain those sparks / connection would be first in my mind. I don't think I have the nativity to think there is an 'instant' knowing moment. I know that it takes work and time. I know forever is a long long time.
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I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert,
But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime..
- Big Country
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