FuriousAvatar

That's an interesting euphemism for a penis. I use those magnum-

Oh. You meant my avatar. Never mind!

ions_

My SO has the Implanon implant, and we practice condom use regularly, but if that packet runs out there may be times where we go o-naturaal between then and the next pack..

Anormalguy

It's never been an issue with us, as neither of us had enough of a history to cause any concern.

Premarriage we used condoms & spermacidal jell. When she went on the pill to stablize/regulate her periods, we dropped the spermacide but kept using condoms, to be safe. Once married we dropped the condoms. To mimimize the chance of a problem pregnancy, we used condoms for two months after my wife went off the pill.

annie1

We will use condoms until we are ready for kids. That is the plan.

digme

Interesting on how it varies. The original article is also very interesting. Our culture seems to be devaluing marriage and is looking for other symbols of commitment. Who knew the condom would be one of them.

Milnoc

I must be the exception here. I actually don't mind using condoms at all ever since I've found the perfect combination of condom size and lubricant. The difference between rubber an natural is so small that it's barely perceptible. I'm also in the camp that doesn't like any form of contraception which alters the body's chemistry both for me and my partner.

The last GF however HATED condoms like the plague! So after a couple of months, she went on the pill and we went "au naturel" from then on. After a couple of years, she had to drop the pill because of the increasing side-effects. We then switched to a diaphragm and spemicide. Unfortunately, any contact between the spermicide and my urethra would cause a painful burning sensation. So it became vitally important that I urinate quickly after ejaculating otherwise the jelly would creep in and cause a few hours of discomfort.

Pretty soon, the risk of pregnancy in a stable relationship will no longer be a concern. That's because I'm arriving in the age bracket where Mother Nature will provide its own form of birth control in the form of menopause.

I love what the essay is trying to figure out. In fact, the use of the pill in our relationship did serve as an indication of our increasing commitment. If we were still "fucking around" with others, we wouldn't even think of taking chances with unprotected sex. The pill was clearly an indication to us that we had no desires to be involved with anyone else.

cadre

Well yeah there's implied trust no matter what but there's a big difference between casual sex and sex in a serious relationship. In a serious relationship it's still a form of trust in that you trust that they won't sleep around and give you some std. And it's not that casual sex isn't intimate, though that's another topic all together. Maybe it's that sex without a condom signifies a move from casual sex to a relationship?

In regards to your last statements: not everyone is safe or healthy which is why condoms are important don't you think?


Are you referring to the guess and pray method concerning STDs? Or pregnancy?

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My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Peladinho

For sex years we have used nothing more than reverse gear....
no condoms at all and still no kids but it has been with the same beautiful girl who has become a wonderful woman and we now going for it adding at to this beautiful world ... yea there will be an announcement you betsure

love peace and obama .........

love your all ...peace

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Life's good

little_tippler

I have always been on the pill when I'm with someone, and even though I usually want a condom for extra safety (STD's), I have been known to let a couple of times slip by. Thing is, I don't like the damned things. They make me uncomfortable and I know most guys don't like it so I feel bad for them too. I am pretty responsible but sometimes I forget myself and go with the flow...I feel a little ashamed to say that really.

I know, rationally, all the reasons to use them. But sometimes I'm not thinking with my head. I have never had a pregnancy scare though, so I don't feel too bad.

When I'm with someone new, I tend to get them to be tested and I get tested too. It's a question of trust I guess, though testing for STD's isn't always fool proof either. Can you tell I don't do casual sex? I'm so good it's annoying, even to me.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Plan9

Good way to rephrase what I just said.

They're important for the first week, month, whatever... after that? Seems cock-cumbersome and cash-wasteful.

Both. You know me, pregnancy = STD.
-----Added 14/9/2008 at 12 : 14 : 14-----
Just a reminder: Hope is not a viable policy for educated adults.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Jozrael

I've used a condom...twice? I've had sex a good deal more than that. I've only been with one girl, we were each other's firsts, and she's on the pill. However, recently, we stopped having sex because if we should conceive, I realized I wasn't prepared to abort a baby and that if it DID happen, that is what I'd be forced to do to continue the quality of life of me and my SO. Regardless of condom on top or not.

abaya

Good on you for thinking through what you'd be prepared to deal with or not... that's some seriously responsible action you're taking there.

But I will say that honestly, if she is on the pill and you are using condoms, I really don't think you have to completely abstain. I mean sure, it's the only truly 100% safe alternative to sex, but BC + condoms is pretty damn near impossible to get through (assuming she is using them perfectly, and you are using the condoms perfectly).

Again, though, many people thought we were paranoid for doubling up on that for 3.5 years of a monogamous, STD-free relationship, and I just couldn't explain it to them. It made sense to me and my husband. So if this decision makes sense to you and your partner, and you feel okay with it, then hey... no one else needs to understand it.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Ayashe

Well said as usual Abaya.

high_jinx

this is a really case-by-case scenario...

but as a guy i look @ it like this. besides the snip, condoms are the only thing a guy has to have any say at all in a potential pregnancy. so if you trust a girl enough to put that on the line in spite of all the biological clock stuff, go for it... otherwise make sure you cast your vote.

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-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.