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I have always been on the pill when I'm with someone, and even though I usually want a condom for extra safety (STD's), I have been known to let a couple of times slip by. Thing is, I don't like the damned things. They make me uncomfortable and I know most guys don't like it so I feel bad for them too. I am pretty responsible but sometimes I forget myself and go with the flow...I feel a little ashamed to say that really.
I know, rationally, all the reasons to use them. But sometimes I'm not thinking with my head. I have never had a pregnancy scare though, so I don't feel too bad.
When I'm with someone new, I tend to get them to be tested and I get tested too. It's a question of trust I guess, though testing for STD's isn't always fool proof either. Can you tell I don't do casual sex? I'm so good it's annoying, even to me.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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