Doesn't Know How to Date... - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

little_tippler · 09-14-2008, 03:51 AM

well define boring? Not sure what kind of excitement you're looking for :P

King, I don't get why it's not happening for you, you're a really nice guy and you're a cutie too, I'm 28 and I could definitely hook you up with women your age here who you'd have fun with! But yeah, you're not here so...

I don't get why the grooming would be an issue, I like guys who take care of themselves and smell good. I find that a turn on in fact. Most girls in my age range I know don't like scruffy men.

I think this girl is pretty immature, and you just need to find someone who likes PDA's I guess. When I like a guy I love PDA's, within reason. The "clingy" remark stings, I'm sure. I think the younger generations are actually quite strange that way, very independent, using people like they're a bag of sweets you go through. I don't like it. Any demonstration of affection is taken as a claim on them. There's a coldness there that is ugly.

The fact that you like younger girls seems like part of the problem really, though there are younger girls who have it together. I've had it pretty together since I was 17 I think. Choosing the wrong girls maybe?

Out here in Portugal I think the girls mature earlier than the guys, not the opposite like you said. Most of the guys here are the bums, and we girls have jobs and responsibilities etc. I'm sure not willing to be anyone's sugar momma though. I like Men, not boys.

Advice? Work on your judgement skills so you don't choose the wrong kind of girl. Give that seemingly boring girl a chance...maybe you'll be surprised by what she can give you.

Hope you meet someone cool who knows what they want soon.

World's King · 09-15-2008, 06:02 PM

That's it... I'm moving to Portugal...

Just J · 09-15-2008, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King

It’s come to my attention as of recent that I don’t know how to date anymore.

I was in a serious relationship for about four years.

And I guess during that time the dating world changed. And no one fucking told me. Almost immediately after that long relationship I ended up in another relationship that as some of you may recall didn’t end very well.

After spending a couple months alone

^^^^^^^Sounds like you need some spend some time getting to know yourself and don't worry about what dating is - you're jumping into things too soon.

I decide that I should be okay enough to try dating again. I meet a nice girl through a DJ friend of mine. We hang out a little bit. I think things are going good. Doesn’t seem to be too crazy. She’s a female. She has to be a little bat-shit crazy.

^^^^^^^ I'm a female and I have to agree with that - we're all crazy in our own little way(s) - men wouldn't be happy if we weren't.

Then out of the blue last night she says, “You’re being too clingy.” I don’t even know what the fuck that means. Cause I was standing next to her at the bar? Cause I was holding her hand? So I back off and let her and her friend go off and dance…

^^^^^^^^ She's young and she's female - I'm much older than that and it's hard enough for my husband to understand me - don't sweat it.

See, I used to pull ass like it was my job. I was fighting ‘em off with my cock left and right. Now I can’t seem to hold a girls interest for longer then it takes to ask if I wanna super-size my Mcrib meal.

^^^^^^^ That's not dating, that's fucking.

I don’t get it. Has it all changed so much in four years that I’m no longer charming?

^^^^^^^^"pulling ass like it was your job" is NOT charming.

I see beautiful girls with dirty, shaggy haired guys wearing their little sister’s pants and ripped up t-shirts. People don’t have class anymore.

^^^^^^^^ I got nothin' - I never could understand that either.

I get passed over cause I keep my clothes neat and wrinkle free. I like to bathe and understand the importance of regular haircuts. I don’t know… maybe I’m just getting older and can no longer identify with youth culture. But for fuck sake… I’m only 27. I shouldn’t be pissed off about all this for another 4-5 years.

Before I get off on rant here I’m gonna pose my question(s). What is it to date someone? How do you know if you’re actually dating someone and not just fucking once in a while?

^^^^^^^^ It's called getting to know someone by talking and spending time doing things together to understand where each other's heads are at.

And for all you bastards under the age of 25, any new rules of the dating world I should know about?

^^^^^^^^There ARE no rules - if you enjoy spending time w/ someone and they enjoy spending time with you regardless of where you go, it's all good. A bar isn't really a plaace to take someone when you first start spending time together - too noisy and too many distractions.

And please, buy pants that fit. You look fucking stupid and I don’t wanna see your underwear.

^^^^^^^^ I agree 100%!

cadre · 09-15-2008, 08:18 PM

When I broke up with my ex last spring I had this problem as well...kind of. Apparently during that relationship I had grown out of or forgotten how to play "the dating game". And it is a game, no matter how much people deny it, that's just the way it is. My friend told me to read The Game by Neil Strauss saying that it's pretty accurate but I never did. Don't try so hard, and don't judge so much and you'd be surprised who you'll meet. Once you're seeing someone it's just a matter of having that "are we dating?" conversation.

FallenAvatar · 09-18-2008, 11:46 PM

You know honestly I don't know if it is the game that has changed or just the world. I can speak of a similar experience. I recently met this girl and became very interested with her. She liked the same things, movies, music, etc. Well I talked to her off and on for a week and could never get her to really go out. She calls me today and asks my intentions with her. Like she couldn't tell, "Yes, I want to date you". It's written all over my face and the body language and responses I'm receiving show it all over hers. Then I get, "I'm kind of in a relationship". Seriously, what the fuck?

lotsofmagnets · 09-19-2008, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FallenAvatar

You know honestly I don't know if it is the game that has changed or just the world. I can speak of a similar experience. I recently met this girl and became very interested with her. She liked the same things, movies, music, etc. Well I talked to her off and on for a week and could never get her to really go out. She calls me today and asks my intentions with her. Like she couldn't tell, "Yes, I want to date you". It's written all over my face and the body language and responses I'm receiving show it all over hers. Then I get, "I'm kind of in a relationship". Seriously, what the fuck?

you forgot to ask her at the start if she was in a relationship. asking about intentions is the instant giveaway you´re in the friend-zone

Cynthetiq · 09-19-2008, 06:46 AM

yeah magnets....I had a teacher who used to say, "Sometimes crystal clear is not clear enough."

MEAD · 09-19-2008, 08:54 AM

I think some girls are just have an immature phase like this. I dated a a girl that was prob similar to WK's; she ended up dating a lot of unbathed scuzzy guys later (and prob before). She talked about wanting someone different, not one of the "those guys." Then we end up hooking up on the first date, and when I actually attempt to bring the relationship to a somewhat more emotional level in response to the spike in the physical level or in other words not being one of "those guys," she pushed away because honestly she was really one of "those girls."

09-14-2008, 03:51 AM	#41 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	well define boring? Not sure what kind of excitement you're looking for :P King, I don't get why it's not happening for you, you're a really nice guy and you're a cutie too, I'm 28 and I could definitely hook you up with women your age here who you'd have fun with! But yeah, you're not here so... I don't get why the grooming would be an issue, I like guys who take care of themselves and smell good. I find that a turn on in fact. Most girls in my age range I know don't like scruffy men. I think this girl is pretty immature, and you just need to find someone who likes PDA's I guess. When I like a guy I love PDA's, within reason. The "clingy" remark stings, I'm sure. I think the younger generations are actually quite strange that way, very independent, using people like they're a bag of sweets you go through. I don't like it. Any demonstration of affection is taken as a claim on them. There's a coldness there that is ugly. The fact that you like younger girls seems like part of the problem really, though there are younger girls who have it together. I've had it pretty together since I was 17 I think. Choosing the wrong girls maybe? Out here in Portugal I think the girls mature earlier than the guys, not the opposite like you said. Most of the guys here are the bums, and we girls have jobs and responsibilities etc. I'm sure not willing to be anyone's sugar momma though. I like Men, not boys. Advice? Work on your judgement skills so you don't choose the wrong kind of girl. Give that seemingly boring girl a chance...maybe you'll be surprised by what she can give you. Hope you meet someone cool who knows what they want soon. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

09-15-2008, 06:02 PM	#42 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	That's it... I'm moving to Portugal... __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

09-15-2008, 08:18 PM	#44 (permalink)
cadre The Worst Influence Location: Arizona	When I broke up with my ex last spring I had this problem as well...kind of. Apparently during that relationship I had grown out of or forgotten how to play "the dating game". And it is a game, no matter how much people deny it, that's just the way it is. My friend told me to read The Game by Neil Strauss saying that it's pretty accurate but I never did. Don't try so hard, and don't judge so much and you'd be surprised who you'll meet. Once you're seeing someone it's just a matter of having that "are we dating?" conversation. __________________ My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

09-18-2008, 11:46 PM	#45 (permalink)
FallenAvatar Psycho	You know honestly I don't know if it is the game that has changed or just the world. I can speak of a similar experience. I recently met this girl and became very interested with her. She liked the same things, movies, music, etc. Well I talked to her off and on for a week and could never get her to really go out. She calls me today and asks my intentions with her. Like she couldn't tell, "Yes, I want to date you". It's written all over my face and the body language and responses I'm receiving show it all over hers. Then I get, "I'm kind of in a relationship". Seriously, what the fuck? __________________ Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father, Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.

09-19-2008, 06:46 AM	#47 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	yeah magnets....I had a teacher who used to say, "Sometimes crystal clear is not clear enough." __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

09-19-2008, 08:54 AM	#48 (permalink)
MEAD Insane Location: South Florida	I think some girls are just have an immature phase like this. I dated a a girl that was prob similar to WK's; she ended up dating a lot of unbathed scuzzy guys later (and prob before). She talked about wanting someone different, not one of the "those guys." Then we end up hooking up on the first date, and when I actually attempt to bring the relationship to a somewhat more emotional level in response to the spike in the physical level or in other words not being one of "those guys," she pushed away because honestly she was really one of "those girls." __________________ Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die. "That's it, send out the ninjas!" "So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."