Average_Joe

One time in college, I worked in a lab with a woman in her 30's. She was divorced with 2 kids, but kind of hot looking. Blonde. Nice body. We got kind of friendly, bordering on flirty. One day she invites me over to her apartment for dinner, and now I can see where this may be going and I told her I wasn't interested. She promised it wouldn't be a date, just 2 friends having dinner. At her apartment, after dinner, she was basically begging me to stay the night. She even tried to entice me my letting me know she had her tubes tied . Anyway, I just turned her down and went home.

Now that I'm older and wiser, I ofter wonder if I should have stayed ?!?!?!?

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canuckguy

I have turned down a couple here and there if memory serves correct.

Most recent ones always center around work women or close friends who are female.

Similar to Average Joe above, one lady at my office who i thought we were just friends invited me over for dinner but wanted so much more.

I would have slept with her if we did not work together, but i have a rule i always follow and will never break. NEVER SHIT WHERE YOU EAT. I did not want to deal with the crap that would have eventually followed afterward.

btw that girlie hates me now and won't even look at me lol. some friend...

another time i can remember is a close friend who i thought we were just friends wanting to hook up. had to pass on that one too, as i can meeting girls anywhere, but friends are forever. would never risk our friendship for a romp. now i know it could lead to a great relationship...but was not something i was looking for.

btw i have been turned down far more often than i've rejected lol.

allaboutmusic

I did once turn down a naked woman. Does that count as extra?

Bees

Once in my younger days I turned down a lovely girl because I was totally enfatuated with her georgeous best friend. The lovely girl, Sandy, actually put her head right down in my lap. I had to stop her as she began to unzip my pants. I figured I wouldn't get anywhere with her best friend, Rene, if I succumbed.

A few nights later I was with Rene at her place and we had a few beers together. One thing led to another and we started making out. Things got heavy when I started feeling her up. I lifted up her blouse and started licking one of her nipples. Rene must have liked it because she started rubbing her other nipple. As the nipple licking and rubbing continued I unbuttoned her jeans and put my hand down her panties to feel the downy softness of her pubis.

I stopped licking her nipple when I started sliding her jeans down. At that point something happened and Rene got upset and jumped up off the couch we were laying on. I asked her what the matter was. She said she couldn't do anything with me because her best friend, Sandy, was so enfatuated with me. She said she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she betrayed her best friend.

I stayed there a while and we chatted a bit but when I left her place I was one horny and frustrated young dude. Not only did I turn down a lovely girl for sex but then in the same week I get turned down by her best friend. After that week we all remained friends but nothing sexual ever happened again.

Sorry for the long winded description but this thread brought back those memories in spades and when that happens I need to write them down and share them with good people.

So was I being a total male asshole or what?

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The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu

Tully Mars

I don't think any of that makes you some asshole. At least you didn't do the friend and then try to do her friend.


My separation from my ex was a long hard slog. It wasn't nasty, just long. I quit wearing my wedding ring about six months after we stopped sleeping in the same bedroom, which was about three four years before I moved out. She has multitude of issues including major depression. She'd spend days in a darkened bedroom sleeping and watching TV. I spent years trying to help her, get her to counseling, get her on medication etc... all to no avail. She wouldn't go to a doctor ever, didn't like them. I'd bet she hasn't seen one in well over 15 years. According to her there was no problem, she was just tried a lot. Yeah, sleeping 14-18 hours a days doesn't sound like a problem to me. and lot's of people eat a half gallon of ice cream and two large bags of chips in a couple of hours. How silly of me to think she was clinically depressed.

Anyway I started traveling a lot after taking an early retirement. Really just traveling to travel. I was on a plane one time and spent the whole flight having a basic chit chat type conversation with a rather attractive lady. The flight was running late and we got into Phoenix well after my connection had left for Portland. So off to the ticket counter. No flights tonight but we'll get you a room, a meal voucher and on the first flight out tomorrow. I get to the hotel and I hear her voice from behind me. "You too huh?" We talk a bit as they find rooms for us. I asked "so you going to eat?" "Sure, meet you in the restaurant in 20mins?" "Great." Over dinner the conversation becomes decidedly more flirtatious. I'm playing along with this until I start to think she's got active plans in mind. I tell her "I think you should know I'm married." "Married? I don't believe you. Why aren't you wearing a ring?" I don't go into any real details just that I don't often wear a ring. Somehow, and believe me at this point I'm not trying to fuel anything, she got it in her head I wasn't married, just wasn't interested in her. I finally pulled out my cell phone and showed her the contact entry for my wife. I told her "we can call her if you'd like." Even after all that she still seemed interested in taking things up stairs. I try to steer the conversation back to more general topics and eventually it ends with us each heading to our own rooms.

My wife and I hadn't done anything for literally years, sometimes I think I should have taken her ideas and ran with them. She was attractive and I liked every one of her ideas, some of them I found down right brilliant. Just at the time thought if I do this I'm going to go home and feel like shit about it later.

Absolutely. At least worth two, possibly three depending on her appearance.

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Bees

OMG - Tully Mars! This paragraph fits the description of the situation I had with my ex for the last four years of our marraige to a tee. My ex had the added issue of alcoholism on top of all that. I know exactly where you are coming from.

Now I am not going to deny that I must also shoulder much of the blame for the collapse of my marraige but at least I was getting help by seeing a psychologist during that time and my ex also refused to seek help.

During the last 6 months or so before I moved out I made a new woman friend and she was very good to me and consoling for me also. She gave me many opportunities to take our friendship to a more intimate level. I am so glad I didn't take her up on that until well after my divorce was final.

Maybe I learned that lesson from that experiece from my youger days.

__________________
The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu

Tully Mars

Well then let me say I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

My Ex rarely drank, but it was not good when she did. Not a happy drunk, slobbering crying.. oh, just... just plain ugly. She got sloppy drunk in Key West one time and the waitress asked us to leave. Not a pretty sight. I had to pour her into a cab. Same thing happened on a cruise one time, just no cab to call.

I swear she didn't show any of this until she was in her late twenties. But I know most of it was a result of childhood trauma. Why it took so long to surface I'm not sure. I know when her dad died it got way worse. I never met the man, which was probably a good thing for his health and for my freedom.

It takes two, no doubt about it. Over time I found more and more ways to be gone. I worked full time and ran a business on the side. At one point I was doing all that and teaching an EMT course at the local com. college. I sat down one day and realized I'd worked over a year without one day off and most weeks I was working 60 to 70 hrs, more at times. Maybe my being gone all the time didn't help, but to me that was a chicken and the egg type question.

She'll be here day after tomorrow. Her impending visit has me sinking into a mini depressive state myself.

Sorry for the thread jack. But it's nice to know other's have survived this too, Thanks for your post Bees, gives me hope.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

allaboutmusic

Judge for yourself. I'd like to add she's now a good friend and I don't see her purely as someone whose coming on to me is something to brag about. The fact that I said no probably is though.

Tully Mars

Ok, I maybe have posted the scoring without all the needed data.

I'd say you're do at least a or 4-5 for turning that down.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

UKking

Augh! That's a kick in the nuts for sure. ><

Sharon

What about women who have turned down offers of sex?

UKking

Ahh, but you didn't tell us why...

Bees

Well...... What about them?

I think most of us guys would like to have some insight into why we get turned down.

__________________
The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu

Editor94

i've turned down three, mostly because i didn't want to deal with the baggage that came with it

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Xazy

I have turned down a number of times, and once in a blue moon in a horny moment i wonder if all the religeous reasons were right, but i never serious question it.

Average_Joe

Didn't tell you why I turned her down or why do I think back on it now and wonder if I should have stayed? I'll answer both.

I turned her down just because it didn't quite feel right. I was probably 20 yrs. old and she was in her early 30's. I had very few experiences with sex, and I guess I felt a bit overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

Why I am debating whether I should have stayed or not is because I'm sure it would have been just a harmless night of good sex with an experienced woman. I'm sure that's all she was looking for anyway. I was just a college student, had no money, had few responsibilities, so I doubt I would have been an attractive choice as a boyfriend for her. She was a Mom struggling to support 2 kids. I'm sure she could have taught me a few things in the sack and boosted my confidence for getting other girls on campus (I was a bit shy around girls back then). Then again, it may have ended badly, too. Who knows?

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I think I'll procrastinate......in a little while.

Jenna

I've turned down one girl. Which was probably pretty stupid of me because I don't get those offers very often.

I knew she wasn't into girls and that she was just really drunk. Plus, she wasn't very attractive.

I've turned down quite a few offers to have sex from men though.

Bees

Still curious.

Are there one or two overriding reasons why you turned down those offers or was it pretty much a different reason each time?

__________________
The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu

Meier_Link

I've turned down implicit offers for sex before. In some of those cases I have let them blow me.... They probably expected something in return, but if I thought they were too ugly or promiscuous to fuck, I surely wouldn't go down on them.

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life is a sexually transmitted disease

Jenna

Well I have gotten a few offers from men and I'm in a relationship now. So, that's one reason. And of course, I've turned down sex with my boyfriend for various reasons.

One time I turned down sex with a guy because he didn't have a condom.

Others are just ridiculous for the most part. I'm not even sexually active with the person and they just ask me to have sex. Of course I'm going to say no.

RangerJoe

I haven't really turned down that many offers from men. I mean, I have, but once you say something about getting them off another way, they're gung ho about it. There have been a few that I felt like their reputation or hygeine was enough to turn me off. I try not to deal with those types often.

I'm consistantly turning down my best friend. She's gay and is determined to turn me bisexual at the least.

I have, forever, been turned down numerous times. The two that come to mind... One, when we were all hot and heavy, said he didn't want to have sex that early on. I'm still friends with him and always tell him that he owes me. Another was a Mormon. I saw it as a challenge to try to get him in bed with me. I almost got there, then he said we had to hurry up and get married so that we could have sex. Yeah, I don't talk to him anymore.

Derwood

i turned down my first ever offer for sex