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Originally Posted by Tully Mars
My separation from my ex was a long hard slog. It wasn't nasty, just long. I quit wearing my wedding ring about six months after we stopped sleeping in the same bedroom, which was about three four years before I moved out. She has multitude of issues including major depression. She'd spend days in a darkened bedroom sleeping and watching TV. I spent years trying to help her, get her to counseling, get her on medication etc... all to no avail. She wouldn't go to a doctor ever, didn't like them. I'd bet she hasn't seen one in well over 15 years. According to her there was no problem, she was just tried a lot. Yeah, sleeping 14-18 hours a days doesn't sound like a problem to me. and lot's of people eat a half gallon of ice cream and two large bags of chips in a couple of hours. How silly of me to think she was clinically depressed.
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OMG - Tully Mars! This paragraph fits the description of the situation I had with my ex for the last four years of our marraige to a tee. My ex had the added issue of alcoholism on top of all that. I know exactly where you are coming from.
Now I am not going to deny that I must also shoulder much of the blame for the collapse of my marraige but at least I was getting help by seeing a psychologist during that time and my ex also refused to seek help.
During the last 6 months or so before I moved out I made a new woman friend and she was very good to me and consoling for me also. She gave me many opportunities to take our friendship to a more intimate level. I am so glad I didn't take her up on that until well after my divorce was final.
Maybe I learned that lesson from that experiece from my youger days.