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Originally Posted by Bees
OMG - Tully Mars! This paragraph fits the description of the situation I had with my ex for the last four years of our marraige to a tee. My ex had the added issue of alcoholism on top of all that. I know exactly where you are coming from.
Now I am not going to deny that I must also shoulder much of the blame for the collapse of my marraige but at least I was getting help by seeing a psychologist during that time and my ex also refused to seek help.
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Well then let me say I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
My Ex rarely drank, but it was not good when she did. Not a happy drunk, slobbering crying.. oh, just... just plain ugly. She got sloppy drunk in Key West one time and the waitress asked us to leave. Not a pretty sight. I had to pour her into a cab. Same thing happened on a cruise one time, just no cab to call.
I swear she didn't show any of this until she was in her late twenties. But I know most of it was a result of childhood trauma. Why it took so long to surface I'm not sure. I know when her dad died it got way worse. I never met the man, which was probably a good thing for his health and for my freedom.
It takes two, no doubt about it. Over time I found more and more ways to be gone. I worked full time and ran a business on the side. At one point I was doing all that and teaching an EMT course at the local com. college. I sat down one day and realized I'd worked over a year without one day off and most weeks I was working 60 to 70 hrs, more at times. Maybe my being gone all the time didn't help, but to me that was a chicken and the egg type question.
She'll be here day after tomorrow. Her impending visit has me sinking into a mini depressive state myself.
Sorry for the thread jack. But it's nice to know other's have survived this too, Thanks for your post Bees, gives me hope.